Happiness is a simple thing: you can become happy just by launching a series of chemical processes in the body, for which thanks to serotonin, dopamine and a couple of other guys. But here's the point: their level almost always depends on how their owner - that is, the brain - reacts to one or another life situation from small to large. And that means only one thing:you can learn to be happy.
But what does it take to be happy? And how much does it take to surely become a happy person? Yes and no. Considering the baggage of experience in neuro-linguistic programming (and this means direct influence on the brain), I can state one thing: happiness and success are completely different things, and one may well exist without the other.
Success is an external state, while happiness is an internal state.
And since this topic is extremely requested, today I want to give you 20 really working and unique tips to help you make yourself happy!
1. Study yourself
The most interesting knowledge in the world is the knowledge about yourself, which you, having come into this world, will receive all your life. Knowing what makes you smile and what makes you sad. Knowing (and respecting) your needs in order to subsequently satisfy them and, as a result, become happy. After all, what is happiness without satisfaction of one's own values? But first, these values need to be defined. This is what you do!
2. Take care of yourself
Many people lack such a simple and important thing, namely, care. And not only and not so much from others, but from themselves. We love to take care of other people, often in a fantastic pursuit of their recognition and gratitude. To deny yourself a lot, sometimes sacrificing your comfort just so that other people appreciate these sacrifices - how similar to us. And here a surprise awaits many: instead of gratitude, they receive a cookie with butter. Why? Yes, because no one will take care of the comfort and recognition of someone who does not take care of him himself. You can become a happy person only by taking care of yourself.
It's like on an airplane: before putting on an oxygen mask for a child or loved one, you must put it on yourself. Otherwise, you won't help anyone. Because you can't take care of yourself? So you can't talk about other people either. Can't be happy? You won't make others happy.
3. Find constructiveness in everything that happens to you
Our whole life is one big lesson with permanent exams. Approaching this constructively (mind you, not positively, but constructively), you will find optimal solutions, and much faster than if you lamented and complained. I once drew a parallel with instead of taking control and taking a hit with least loss. And this is not about the positive, but about the good old common sense.
Therefore, in order to be happy, it would be nice to start by learning to shift the focus of attention to what is beneficial for us and for solving the situation. A constructive approach, after all, it helps to become not a destroyer, but a creator of one's life. It is a person with a constructive approach who knows how to forgive insults, not to regret anything in life, but to look at every problem as a task that always contains a solution.
4. Create your luck
Yes, luck can be created. Everyone has her different size, and even though sometimes it looks like a tiny sprout breaking through the asphalt of the troubles of your life, you can still grow and strengthen it. How to do it? Very simple: observe any moments of luck in your life and direct your focus of attention to them.
A simple law works in our world: develops what you give your attention to(which means energy). Think about how often you give undeserved attention to your problems, which subsequently grow like a snowball? Instead, I advise you to start counting even small moments of luck every day, thereby strengthening and increasing their number in your life. So you will learn to enjoy life and those of its manifestations that you did not even pay attention to before.
5. Create an image of the desired future
Many of us, thinking about our future, imagine some completely ordinary, and sometimes even depressing things. At the same time, if you ask people who openly say that they are happy and have achieved what they want in life, it turns out that when they thought about the future, they saw the best options for it and themselves in it. And it was right decision: so they gave commands to their unconscious, which, guiding most of their actions and thoughts, led them in small steps to what they have now.
Don't be lazy, help your unconscious help you!
6. Increase your energy
When we have a lot of energy, our body is filled with a special power, and the brain is filled with a huge amount of desires. An inner voice, as it were, tells us: “You can do this, and this, and this ... Look how interesting everything is!”. With energy depletion, we do not want and cannot do anything.
How do you know how energetic you are? Easy: listen to what your inner voice is telling you. Are there many inner “I want and can” in you? If yes, then congratulations! If not, there are many ways to increase your energy levels: meditation; sport; proper nutrition(to each his own); audit of your environment with the subsequent removal of the so-called. "toxic" people; audit and closure of their "hanging" - cases that they started / planned, but never finished; good deeds towards people who are pleasant to us; interesting activity. Moreover, all these things not only increase the level of energy, but in themselves are simple recipes happiness!
7. Know how to slow down
It is possible and necessary to adopt the best from the concept of Slow living. Now people are becoming more and more insatiable in terms of sensations, and therefore it is becoming increasingly difficult to satisfy them. We try to quickly absorb the occupation, jumping from one to another, not having time to taste the process itself. How can you be happy woman if you are not even able to stop and enjoy the sunset, eating delicious dish Or the smell of freshly cut grass?
Learn to separate contexts: at work you are fast, but with family, friends, in nature you are slow. Leave productivity and speed at work. Do this consciously, and as you slow down, tell yourself, "I'm slowing down to give myself time to be happy here and now."
8. Compare yourself to yourself and change
But what if there is another way? As soon as you begin to perceive the one who has achieved your goals and desires as part of the universal soul, as a guarantee that you can succeed, you get an incredible "arrival" of constructive energy. Your goals are achieved much easier, relationships with people are getting better, and you feel like a really happy person!
15. Relax in nature
At least sometimes. Teach yourself to communicate with plants and animals, and in slow motion, which was mentioned above. 1 day a week in nature will give you much more happiness than all 7 days of watching Netflix. Rest in nature is a rest of a different quality and level, it cannot be replaced.
16. Train your body
We often train our minds by immersing ourselves in book worlds and absorbing megabytes of information. But what about the body? After all, the body and mind are parts of a single system. If one let you down, expect failures everywhere. In the meantime, the length, quality and level of happiness of our life is related to how trained and resilient our body is. When a 60-year-old person feels that his mind is clear, and his emotions are pure and bright, like those of a young person, but his legs do not hold him, his back does not straighten, and most of the body's functions are atrophied ... This is truly a misfortune. Therefore, already now take care that your trained mind has something to live in and live happily.
And besides, training is endorphins, beautiful body, dating (bonus). Health is first and foremost what is needed for happiness. Why do so many of us forget about this?
17. Leave the past in the past
People who openly and honestly state that they are happy often adhere to a single policy regarding the past: the past is accumulated experience, but not something worth living. These people do not live in thoughts about the past, do not draw their emotions from it, no matter how old they are. Their feelings and life are always in the present, and their thoughts are in the future, even if they are over 80. The past for them is just a part of their life, for which they are grateful, and which is left behind. You will not meet happy people living in the past, because the past is associated with the emotion of sadness, with grief about the departed happiness.
Unfortunately, people who live with thoughts and feelings in the past are literally turned back. Just imagine: you are walking forward on the road, but your eyes are directed back. Will you quickly reach the designated goal? Are you happy to walk the path? The questions are rhetorical.
18. Set big goals for yourself.
It just so happened that the larger the target, the less likely it is to miss. Our unconscious mind works like this: when setting inspiring and ambitious goals, it collects and activates all possible resources to achieve at least some part of this goal. Thus, we easily achieve intermediate goals, which, nevertheless, seemed too tough for us before. Why is a person happy? Because he achieves what he wants, otherwise nothing.
Do an experiment: when you train in the gym and you need to do the exercise, for example, 30 times, say to yourself: “I have to do it 100 times!”. You will see how easy these 30 will be! This also applies to any other goal: financial, career, family. People who set themselves the goal of making 10 million a year easily made 1 million; those who set the goal of marrying the man of their dreams in a year found excellent relationships at least during that year. Checked!
19. Listen to yourself first
And secondly, others. The fact is that no one is able to tell us something that is not in ourselves. . We cannot hear someone, because first of all we hear ourselves in the words of other people. Learn to trust and listen to your inner voice, start making decisions on your own and become your own best adviser. You can listen to other people, but you should only listen to yourself.
20. Always make time for creativity
Creativity is the ability to connect the unconnected; the ability to see what is not on the surface. At the junction of seemingly incompatible things, there are always the most “delicious” resources and emotions. After all, it is precisely in creation and creation in all its manifestations that the goal of a person’s stay on this earth is! And isn't it happiness to create something that didn't exist before you? A teaching, a drawing, a phrase, a dish, a story, whatever?
There is something completely unique in creativity: in it, as in our life, the process and the result are of equal importance. This is especially true for us women, because most of us prefer a cool and inspiring process to the result. Therefore, do not be lazy and do not be afraid to please yourself with creativity. After all, a woman should be happy, right?
(Based on the materials of Alunika Dobrovolskaya, edited by Anna Asaeva)
Rules of psychology, what are they and why are they needed? We live in a rapidly developing world, we are constantly in contact with people, we strive for something or fall into apathy, we are happy and sad, but you can make life easier and happier. It all depends on our attitude to life, the internal rules of life that we use in practice every day, sometimes not noticing what drives our actions. In the article, we will consider wise advice for life or the rules of psychology for happiness, helping to live a full and happy life, enjoy a new day and achieve any desires.
Golden Rules of Psychology for Happiness
The psychology of human life is very multifaceted, including the psychology of success, development, communication, and personal growth. What is the first thing you need for a happy life? Consider the basic rules of psychology for a happy person:
1. Our life is our thought, a reflection of aspirations
A person cannot change the circumstances of life, but he is able to change his attitude, opinion, thoughts. A person's life moves in the direction of the most powerful thought, concentration of attention, it is useful to learn to direct thinking towards success, prosperity, happiness. Thinking positively, we create new world, and planning new achievements, we create the foundation for a new life, future success.
2. My life is my choice
To find inner harmony, happiness, it is important to realize that our life depends on internal choice which we do daily. Only the person himself decides what to do, with whom to communicate, what activity to devote his life to, whether there will be love in life. Internal protests can interfere with the fulfillment of desires and plans, it is important to believe in yourself and the possibility of self-realization, finding satisfaction in all areas of life.
The rules of psychology simplify the attitude to life, make it possible to believe in own forces to learn to create life, to change it for the better.
3. Rule of self-respect
A sense of the importance of one's own personality, recognition of features and abilities is necessary, then it is possible and happy life. You don’t have to be like everyone else, it is important to discover your potential, learn how to use features in life. Availability high self-esteem and respect helps to achieve high results, psychologists say: it is important to learn to love and accept your own personality in order to receive a response from society. An insecure person cannot reveal his inner talents, attract attention, and receive the respect of society. The process has a direct relationship with internal evaluation.
4. Right to be wrong
In the process of life, people tend to make mistakes, wrong actions. This is a normal process - only falling and rising, we learn to walk, in life, too, wisdom comes with age, thanks to the accumulated experience, which is not possible without mistakes. Do not reproach yourself, draw conclusions and live on, avoiding similar actions in the future.
We are not talking about compliance with the laws, this is mandatory, the main thing is to listen to the inner voice, intuition and conscience, they will not deceive when choosing a solution. And small miscalculations should not affect self-esteem, the more bumps, the more knowledge, the main thing is to continue moving forward with faith in your heart.
Difficulties are given to a person for growth, overcoming a new frontier - we become stronger, stagnation in life awaits without difficulties, and development is necessary for a happy and successful life. Problems and difficulties are the tasks of life, they must be solved, not experienced.
5. Right to self-identity
For a happy life, it is important to understand: each person is unique, everyone has their own characteristics, it is useful to develop their own style, look for interests, inclinations, aspirations inherent at the internal level, seek and find. Do not be afraid to be a "black sheep", it is innovators and people with non-standard thinking who reach heights in life, become famous writers, artists, musicians, politicians.
It is they who are often leaders, heading business companies, organizations, parties, interest groups. The ability to think, generate ideas, find non-standard approaches are indispensable in life, as well as recognition of one's own characteristics and advantages.
6. Self-development - the path to a better life
It is important to understand that it is extremely difficult to change other people, it is better to learn how to get along with relatives, to establish good relationship with colleagues, to understand how to bring a piece of happiness into your home, relationships, giving - we receive. Life reciprocates. People say: "What you sow, you will reap." In these words - the truth, the main rule successful communication. So, to receive love - you need to learn to love, to improve communication - to be open and attentive to people, to receive help - to help others.
The rules of psychology for happiness are logical and fair, they correspond to the rules of the universe.
7. Live here and now
Life is today, the current moment, yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future. The secret of a happy life is to live today, leaving insults and troubles in the past. Awareness of the importance of life in this moment time, makes a person more attentive, responsible, allows you to get rid of anxiety past life. The past is experience, you need to accept it and forgive yourself and others for mistakes, strive for the best in the future, you can’t change the past, but you can create the future!
8. Give thanks to life
It is important to get rid of the feeling of pity and worthlessness that arise in pessimistic people. Noticing the positive aspects of life, it is easier to move forward, to believe in the best. Life should be thanked for good and bad, without negative experience it is impossible to realize the difference, to feel joy and happiness. Recognizing and noticing the good in life, we create the basis for even better, we are looking for new ways and means to achieve high goals.
9. The world is in harmony
Happy people, for example, Buddhists know for sure: everything in the world stands in its place - the sun moves, day changes night, winter and spring come, everything changes and is in harmony, according to the laws of the Universe. Such thoughts help to relax, accept the inevitable, it is difficult to control everything in life, only the concentration of attention depends on the person and the thought. Therefore, it is worth observing the beauty in life and thinking calmly, sovereignly, positively, which will ensure a happy life, haste and nervousness harm life, reduce work efficiency.
"Calm, only calm," as Carlson said. This is supreme power helping a person in all life situations.
10. New day - new chance
The psychology of life becomes simple if we think as follows: what would I do if it were my last day, what desires would I strive to realize, would I value time more? It is important to realize your interests, aspirations, not to waste time. Learn to appreciate life, because it is given to people only once. Of course, it is difficult to change life drastically. First you need to learn to enjoy life: work, family, benefit from the experience of life, and then change for the better, achieve more.
The rules of psychology for happiness are simple and important, often echoing folk wisdom, people noticed the laws of life, reflecting in sayings and parables. It is worth gradually changing life, introducing new rules, attitudes, changing ourselves, we take a step towards changes in our own lives, relationships with the outside world, loved ones. Step by step, you can build your own picture of the world, become a truly happy person.
A good happy life is possible
You can live a happy life by learning to use the rules of psychology, changing your attitude to life. Happiness is a state of mind, it needs to be cultivated, radiated, not sought. People who are able to be happy in their souls attract other positive-minded individuals, find jobs more easily, find new chances, and achieve success.
So, the basic principles of the life of a happy person
Everything that happens is for the best
An internal mood for positive changes helps to catch a wave of good luck, to see new opportunities. When life gives you a sour lemon, know how to extract lemonade from it. Any event, situation has 2 sides - positive and negative, often the bright side is harder to find, but it exists.
Forget grievances
A happy person does not hold evil, he understands: forgiveness helps, first of all, the one who forgives. You need to be healthy, calm, joyful. And the accumulation of resentment leads to diseases and neuroses.
Be open to communication
Happy people love to meet, communicate, listen and express their point of view. They understand: every person has the right to different views, this is not a hindrance to friendship and communication. They are always sincere, friendly, positive charge. Ready for cooperation and partnership.
Take responsibility for life
They perfectly understand that life is the result of their own efforts, desires, they cultivate a positive perception, set goals and achieve what they want. They never accuse others and the world of injustice, they always begin the analysis with themselves. Calmly perceive mistakes and mistakes. A happy person does not despair in case of failure, but continues to look for ways to get what he wants or sets new tasks: "Everything will work out, good is on our side."
Be able to give
For a happy life and harmony in the soul, it is important to be able to give: love, attention, care for people around, share thoughts, time, knowledge with others. By giving, one becomes more open to the world and, as a result, receives more - love, happiness, well-being. AT modern world consumerism is cultivated, but it does not help to find happiness, but interferes, creates a system of values for egoists. Giving a part of life to others, helping loved ones, we become really happy, we feel our own significance.
The psychology of human behavior pays Special attention the ability to build relationships, the desire to initially understand, show interest in others, help create the ground for communication. Each person thinks about his own interests, and, feeling attention from others, begins to reveal his best qualities, get in touch.
Respect yourself and others
self esteem necessary condition successful and happy life. Understanding your value, you can learn to respect and love other people, show attention, be open to the world. Respect for one's own personality means recognition of one's features, merits, understanding of the importance of one's own life. It also helps to have a mission and its implementation.
Human psychology is a complex and simple topic, first of all, you need to understand that people are similar, you should treat others as if you were yourself. Kindness, humanity, attention, understanding - have always contributed to mutual understanding.
Self-confidence
The psychology of a person's personality speaks of the importance of confidence in a person's life. With faith in your own strength, you can move mountains, reach unprecedented heights. Happy people believe that they can find everything they want in life, all that is needed is knowledge, perseverance and time to implement plans. Everything is in the hands of man. Confidence can be strengthened with the help of a success diary - write down all the achievements in life, new achievements, positive reviews. Re-read in difficult periods of life, realizing that the difficulties are temporary, you need to continue to act.
radiate love
The ability to love the world around is connected with self-love, when a person can take care of himself, fill own life joy, then he treats the people around him kindly. Naturally, a negative attitude towards oneself is also projected onto the outside world. It is important to preserve harmony in the soul, to grow goodness, joy, to be able to reduce the impact of stress on life, not allowing you to take your anger out on others. There are other ways to discharge - sports, music, hobbies, reading literature.
The rules of psychology also speak of reciprocity in the world, love gives birth to love, and evil only destroys the world and relationships between people.
Strive for knowledge
Happy people read books, constantly striving for development, knowledge of the world, acquiring new knowledge and skills. They realize the importance of obtaining knowledge for a successful life, who owns the information - owns the world. A happy person learns easily, is ready to change jobs, environment, tries not to get hung up on some actions, looking for new ways for self-realization. Although you can get joy from life by changing your attitude to work, family, thanks to the search for positive sides is the first and necessary step.
Don't expect gratitude
The psychology of human behavior speaks of the tendency of people to forget about gratitude, therefore, when doing good, you should not wait for a response. It will come from life, not always from a specific person, you need to learn to enjoy giving energy, attention, knowledge. And gratitude is a secondary action, does not always take place in people's behavior and is not worth worrying about.
be able to switch
The psychology of human life reminds us that it is harmful to accumulate stress, happy people they live in the present moment and do not constantly store in memory the same events, thoughts. It is important, when leaving work, to forget about work, to be able to switch to household chores, not to bring problems into the house. And at work, concentrate only on work issues. Any action must be completed and the ability to quickly switch helps to maintain a feeling of happiness and health.
be able to forgive
A happy person does not hold a grudge in his soul, realizing the futility of such actions, negative thoughts only destroy life and health, it is easier to forgive, understand and live on, enjoying good events in life. The rules of psychology also call for harmony and tranquility, and forgiveness is the path to finding inner peace.
love to joke
A smile and laughter save in many situations, humor helps to avoid conflicts, defuse the situation, get out of an uncomfortable situation. Laughter, as psychologists say, prolongs life. It is no coincidence that humor saves from troubles, helps to maintain good relations with people, charges with positive energy.
Understand the mirror image of the world
The attitude towards people and life shapes our reality. In addition, each person teaches us something, if something does not suit or annoys, it is worth observing yourself, correcting your own mistakes, negative traits. Honesty, punctuality and responsibility help build trust, find love and great colleagues.
Simplify life
A happy person tries to smooth things over, avoid conflicts, minimize troubles, transfer everything into the sphere of kindness and light. Dramatization of the complexities of life only exacerbates their condition, the impact on a person, and a calm attitude helps to find solutions, quickly navigate in the living space, emerge victorious from any situation. It is important to understand that our problems are not commensurate with the global scale, there are situations that are more complicated, everything is known in comparison. Main principle life: "everything is fine, but the tasks of life are the regime."
The rules of psychology help determine the basic principles of life for finding inner happiness.
It is important to live with an open heart, to be able to rejoice, to notice the light in life. To create happiness - tune in every morning to a positive wave, believe in yourself, love your loved ones. Then happiness will gladly come to the house and will accompany you through life, because a person who radiates light never freezes. People and life are mutual - there is a cycle of happiness and love.
The happiest life for everyone is their own, they often talk about love, friends, children, well-being, self-realization in their favorite area. All this is possible, observing the rules of psychology and the principles of life of a happy person. For success, you need perseverance and faith, the desire for knowledge, for love - the ability to love and give, for friendship - the ability to understand, show attention, support, for health - love for yourself, care and peace of mind, and also - playing sports.
Changing the approach to our desires, we realize that in many ways we determine life and our own achievements, which means that any desires and aspirations can become a reality with some effort. The psychology of life helps to acquire important knowledge - to understand the principles of achieving success and the state of happiness. Initially, you need to become a source of happiness, to understand what is missing for calmness, peace, confidence. Learn to create the mood of a happy, successful person.
How to do it?
- Smile more often, in the morning, approaching the mirror, say: "I am a wonderful person and a successful and interesting day awaits me", "I easily realize all desires", "my life is changing for the better." Ideally, the selected phrases are repeated 20 times for better perception at the subconscious level;
- it is useful to listen to positive music - jazz, classical, melodic rock, something inspiring for exploits;
- keep track of your successes, achievements, write in a diary;
- learn to find solutions in any situation;
- remember - it is easier and more efficient to live on the positive, drive away sad thoughts, switch to the good.
The theme of a happy person in the modern world has gained new form- used to consider the search for happiness in the outside world, looking for a bird of happiness, now appeared new approach- find happiness in yourself and create in the world around you. Such ideas are more productive, because a person can actively participate in creating his own happiness, and this is more pleasant than waiting on the shore for the good fortune.
We wish everyone only happiness and success in life!
"If you want to be happy - be it!" So simple. And it's not about money, it's not about hard work. You just need to learn to be happy current moment. How? Just take a different look at life, at your behavior.
Get rid of the past.
Not so long ago, psychologists found that the thoughts of more than half of women are occupied with fantasies about what did not happen to them in the past, but could happen. “Now, if I then…”, “If he didn’t…” Regretting what didn’t happen, we, indulging our weakness, waste our energy in vain. We will not return the past, but we may miss the present. Get those thoughts out of your head and get on with today.
Do not hold on to the present, which has long since become the past.
A friend of mine recently shared her thoughts that her boyfriend is completely unsuitable for her, because he does not plan to marry, does not expect a serious relationship, and generally considers “free” relationships to be the norm. He told her about this many times, and he himself gave her the right to choose to continue the relationship or leave, but she still meets with him, because "she cannot live without him." How often do we try to keep in a stable position situations and relationships that have long been “put an end to” in the depths of our souls? We spend our energy, time, energy on this. If this girl met true love, she would surely regret the wasted time.
The same situation occurs at work. Every day we go to work, which often does not bring satisfaction. An ugly team, a vixen boss, a penny salary, a career does not “shine”. We are completely disappointed in our work, we would gladly leave it, but where to go? We need to start taking action. After all, just think: we spend half our lives at work.
Find a hobby
There should be no boredom in our life. Because there are hundreds of different activities - from knitting and embroidery to photography. Why, then, can many people find something to their liking? The answer is simple: bad looking. You do not like anything, do not even imagine what could be of interest? Please: go to some hobby portal, take an interest in what people “live”, what they are fond of. You are sure to find something interesting. Your hobby will be an excellent relaxation after everyday work.
Simplify routine tasks
Every day we have to do routine work, unpleasant and tedious things. Women complain about endless household chores, students complain about frequent sessions. Do not "load" yourself with unpleasant thoughts in anticipation of such activities. For example: "again this essay." Let's figure it out in detail. Go to the library, pick up 3-4 books, scan the necessary pages, at home, skimming through the text, select the most appropriate lines, introduction and, of course, conclusion, scan again and recognize the text. Ready! Maximum 3-4 hours of work.
It is very convenient to set the clock, for example, 20 or 30 minutes and do something that you do not want, but really need. Sweep, read notes, wash dishes. Dashing misfortune of the beginning - when you see that the matter is moving forward, it will not be difficult for you to bring it to the end.
Out of the box approach to any business
Quite often, things do not give us pleasure because the ways of doing them are boring. To correct this situation, arrange, for example, a competition with yourself.
Don't feel like working on weekends? Calculate how much income this work will bring to you, think about what you will buy with this money. Already ready to work? Then go ahead! Our brain can always help us deceive ourselves, bad habits, our laziness - you just have to turn on your imagination.
listen to yourself
Very often we are influenced by others. If the surrounding colleagues unanimously declare that it is simply impossible to work after lunch, especially on Friday, that you need to think about the upcoming weekend, do not listen to them! Finish the work today, and then on the weekend it will be possible to devote yourself to rest as much as possible, and not “fill up” your head with thoughts and worries about where to start Monday morning.
educate yourself
We always remember our student years with such pleasure. And it's not just that it was easy and carefree there. There was no monotony: every day something new, lectures, laboratory, projects, seminars. Every day something new was learned, every day was different. In today's adult life, the range of our responsibilities is limited: the work is the same, household chores do not end. Even regular gatherings with friends take on a shade of monotony. Apparently, that's why so many adults can be found on various courses. Interest in learning something new lives in us always, even after graduation. I always want to learn something, discover something new. Moreover, now you can get much more pleasure from it, because you study “for” yourself, and not for the sake of a good grade in a diploma.
Don't sit still
Each of us needs to “change the scenery” periodically. The best way is to travel. Undoubtedly the best way- abroad, to see what and how people live thousands of kilometers away from you. There is hardly a more exciting ride. However, even if you can't afford Turkey or your native Sochi and Crimea, go for the weekend just to one of the neighboring cities. You can always find something to see and where to go. Make up your mind! The trip will refresh your feelings, emotions, and calm you down. Arriving home, you just look at your affairs and problems with different eyes.
Don't be afraid to change! Happiness to you!
Just as an apple seed has everything it needs to grow and bear fruit, each of us has everything inside it to be happy, loved, and fulfilled. Most logically understand that this is true. Then why do we often make the path to happiness so difficult?
Maybe the reason is that it requires hard work and emotional stress. And since we are humans, we most often try to avoid uncomfortable situations.
We don't look deep inside ourselves for answers because either we don't know how or we're afraid of what we might find. Thus, we take the path of least resistance, external causes and things that bring immediate pleasure.
There is nothing wrong with the fact that we behave in this way, it is natural. And that makes us happy for a while. But lasting happiness, the one that is built on the fundamental knowledge that everything in the world works well, has many levels. And enjoying life is only one part.
In one of the most complete research in a story known as the Grant study, Harvard researchers studied two hundred and sixty-eight men for seventy-two years. The article "What Makes Us Happy?", published in June 2009 in The Atlantic, reveals some amazing ideas about happiness. From all the data collected and considered in the article, it is concluded that the key to happiness is love. According to this study, love is really all it takes.
For most of my life, I've been looking for acceptance, not love. Even when I thought I was in love, loved and acting with love, it was all just a means to an end. The tool I used to get more than what I have. I did not deceive others and myself, I was just a narcissistic romantic.
I'm missing a key piece to the puzzle. Love for yourself.
As the Beatles sing, “...you can't do anything, but you can learn how to be yourself, it's easy. All you need is Love."
Maybe it's really that simple and there is nothing complicated about it?
Happiness has been quite elusive for me all these years. Constant exciting moments everywhere, followed by the realization that it was all connected to something else, something external.
One day I decided to figure out what love is and how it is emotionally connected with me. I was able to determine what I needed both emotionally and spiritually. As a result, I no longer needed to chase happiness. It just found me by itself, every day waiting for me right outside the doors of my house.
Over the years, I have learned a few rules that have helped me become happy.
Rule #1: Love yourself
There is general rule that we cannot truly love others without loving ourselves. But I don't quite agree with that. From my experience I can say that I loved a lot before I knew how to really love myself. I would give my shirt to anyone, but I wouldn't accept another's shirt.
Love for others is thus based on various motives. More often than not, it's something we're going to get in return, not necessarily something tangible like a shirt, perhaps recognition.
Learn to love yourself and you will need less external forms confessions to be happy.
Rule #2: Expect Less
As they say, "waiting is training for resentment." Do you want to be happy? Expect less of yourself and others.
It sounds pretty depressing, but it's all because you're making unreasonable demands on yourself.
When you build relationships according to the rule:
"let's return everything as it was", you limit yourself and your life to past experiences. Why limit yourself and those around you to what you have already experienced?
On a recent trip to Belize, I carefully planned the trip to make sure everything was flawless. I put in a lot of effort, as on our first date I asked my wife, "Which place in the world would you most like to visit?" Her response was: “Belize, because I always wanted to learn how to scuba dive and heard that it the best place for diving.
Having become certified divers, and having traveled all over the Caribbean, we finally gathered in Belize. I rented nice apartment on the beach, which received excellent reviews. The only negative mentioned concerned the inconvenience associated with insufficient security and confidentiality, tk. it was the first floor.
Upon arrival, I realized that we were on the first floor 30 m from the ocean coast with a continuous stream of locals passing by. For the first 45 minutes, I felt disappointed about the coming week in this beautiful place.
My wife is an amazing person. She suggested that I just relax because my unfulfilled expectations were taking away my enjoyment of this wonderful place. She was right. I sat and meditated for a few minutes to get back to that moment in our lives when we dreamed of this trip.
In the end, this trip provided us with the most amazing opportunities. Living on the ground floor, right on the beach, allowed us to interact more openly with the locals. We made new friends, immersed ourselves in local events, and found amazing opportunities, many of which would not have been possible if we had retreated to the second or third floor.
Lowering your expectations opens up opportunities for you to do more.
Rule #3: Be Helpful
I believe that there is no greater calling in life than to be of service to others. Imagine a world where everyone wants to help each other.
However, you must be careful not to give help expecting something in return, it should just give you pleasure.
You can be of service anytime, any day, anywhere, regardless of your career or place in life.
Rule #4: Experience gratitude
Anger, fear, unhappiness, any negative feelings cannot find a place in a heart filled with gratitude. One of the ways I practice is with a thank you list.
Write down 10 things you are grateful for. It can be anything, food, housing, hair, a sense of humor. Just write it down on paper. It really works.
Rule #5: Be understood and then understand yourself.
One of the benefits of emotional engagement and self-love is the ability to relate better to others. It is easier for us to understand what another person is experiencing using our own emotions.
When someone cuts you off on the road, think that you have no idea what that person is going through right now. Maybe he's on his way to the hospital to see a child who's been in an accident, or he's late for an important meeting.
Life happens around us, but in us.
Rule #6: Jump out of your comfort zone
The most important turning point in my life was the realization that I needed to change. Not only where I lived and what I lived for, but how I looked at the world and my place in it. I reached this point in total desperation, so I was ready to try anything.
As a result, I had a desire to go completely outside of my comfort zone. I looked for help in books, trainings, spiritual advisors, therapists, everywhere. I thought it would help. Many of them suggested things that I would never have decided if I had not been in complete despair.
For example, when I started new job, my mentor suggested that I introduce myself to three new people every morning on my way to the office.
I said, "I don't like it, I'm shy, don't you know?" He said, "Jared, this is not about you."
Doing things outside of your comfort zone puts you in direct contact with the universe. Such actions facilitate movement in space and time and affect the world around us. Let you get feedback from our environment and develop you through experiences with others.
Rule #7: You will get more bees if you have honey.
This is one of my wife's favorite sayings. And this is very true.
Think - what's in recent times somehow changed your mind or the way you expressed yourself verbally. I mean something that is really somewhere in the depths of your heart, a deep belief or concept of life.
Most likely nothing happened. At least you won't change the way you think because someone brilliantly told you about it.
Think about this the next time you try to prove your point to someone.
Rule #8: Learn to sit quietly alone
It was perhaps the most difficult thing I have ever learned. Like most people around me, my head was filled with fear, guilt, or regret. Sitting in peace and quiet was excruciating and simply impossible. But through self-discovery and hard work, I learned to accept the consequences of being myself.
There is a correlation between the level of happiness I experience and the state of peace and tranquility within me. The better I can meditate and enjoy my alone time, the more complete I feel in all aspects of life.
“Morality teaches not how to become happy, but how to become worthy of happiness.”
―Immanuel Kant
I wonder if every woman can say that she is happy? When we are asked a similar question, we instantly answer - of course, I am happy, because I have everything - a caring husband, children, and a favorite job.
Is it about you? Then you are on the right track. But the most important thing is not to convince yourself of this, but to really feel that way.
Positive thinking is the first step to victory. But some women tend to succumb to other people's opinions, thinking that happiness should be the way it is written in books or shown on TV. Such women fall into depression... And then, having suffered enough, they oppress their loved ones as well.
How to learn to be happy every day
Day after day, minutes of our lives expire, a woman strives to be in time everywhere, to be and remain healthy, beautiful, to take place as a mother, to be loved and, of course, to make a career. In the hustle and bustle of these days, we sometimes forget to even just look up and see how beautiful blue sky and how beautifully the birds sing.
It is necessary to stop and look around and find beauty in the little things, because there is no "yesterday" and "tomorrow", but there is only "Here and now". Consider that tomorrow may never come. What would you do today? Maybe you should live to the fullest, breathe deeply, do what you have long dreamed of and say “I love” to everyone you love.
But don't forget that the advice is to live each day as last time, does not mean that it is worth drinking, carousing and doing stupid things. Try to enjoy every moment! This is not easy to learn, but if you start now, you will soon learn to be happy regardless of circumstances and people.
14 golden rules of happiness:
- When you wake up, first of all, smile at yourself and the sun (smile at your relatives, friends, passers-by) ...
- Stop complaining about life, comparing yourself with others, thinking negatively. Learn to enjoy the little things without taking failure to heart.
- Find your hobby.
- Disaccustom to think negatively and "cut off" all thoughts about the bad.
- Enjoy food (during the meal, think about food, its smell, taste, refuse to watch TV).
- Walk on fresh air enjoying nature.
- Watch life-affirming films, listen to pleasant music (audio, song or video does not matter), choose something that pleases and warms the soul, let it be a melodrama or a thriller, a comedy series or a historical film ...
- Forgive the offenders and let go of the past, leave only the good in the present. Learning to forgive is easy you have to forgive yourself first Because we are human, we tend to make mistakes. Remember the movie Eat Pray Love? Send a ray of light to your dear person, so you will give a piece of yourself by starting already new life filled with happiness.
- Read books or essays on psychology (there are plenty of them). Here, for example, Dale Carnegie and his "Textbook of Life", Louise Hay "Everything a Woman Wants", Sister Stephanie "How to name a child so that he is happy" ..., Mrinal Kumar Gupta "How to be happy always", in each of the books has its own morality.
find various trainings and affirmations (they are online and completely free on the Internet). - Do good to others for free.
- Take time for yourself (thinking about the meaning of life, plans for the summer, etc.).
- Always put “love” first in all situations.
- Dream.
- Give thanks for everything you have now.
Joy in the family
Every woman should remember that there is nothing more precious than a family. It is she who is the foundation of happiness. And your heart will tell you how to be happy in a family.
There are two exits:
- You understand that you don’t love your husband, having clearly realized that he is not your person and you are unhappy with him, leave.
- You accept your spouse as he is, not wanting to change "for yourself."
The recipe is just plain simple.
Next, you should understand that it is very important to become a lover in the family, loving wife and a good mother rolled into one. Dr. Torsunov, in his lectures on Ayurveda, the science of life, reveals the principles that help family people to improve relationships, diet, get rid of bad habits. For example, lecturing can help you quit smoking or get rid of alcohol cravings if your husband or wife drinks.
In a relationship with a man
The main rules of a strong and long relationship:
- be his friend
- take care of yourself
- learn how to cook delicious
- "don't take out the brain"
- surprise him in bed
- leave him time for personal space (going to a sports bar, beer with friends)
- say "I love you"
- don't try to change it
- be yourself
Such simple, but at the same time complex rules will help you not to lose your man.
If you are going to get married, think about whether communication with your lover brings you joy. Maybe you're just jealous of other married couples, or just tired of parental care? Then do not rush into marriage.
Psychologists advise downloading the book "How to become loved and desired." Written by contemporary writer Oksana Dupliakina. The author gives advice to all women. With her books, she teaches women to be more confident in themselves, to recognize their chosen one or husband on the other hand, to establish relations with him .... And here is what Carnegie's "Textbook of Life" tells us about the relationship of a husband and wife:
do not criticize or find fault with your husband;
jealousy for nothing, do not pursue him for any reason;
show each other signs of attention, be able to listen to the interlocutor;
be precautionary, that is, inform your husband in advance about your or general plans;
read good book about sex (spouses can get to know each other better).
But what about a man - does he have to do something? Of course it should.
Read A. Pushkin’s poems “Onegin’s Letter to Tatyana”, the heroes of this work are happy or maybe depressed with their feelings ... think about who you are for your man, who are you next to him?
Usually the causes of divorces or quarrels in relationships are lack of money, dissatisfaction in sexual relations or differences of interests.
Being married is a true art that requires learning and new practices. Rimma Home's book Magical Women's Things is especially for women. She will tell you that you are a valuable prize, a godsend for a man, they will hunt you as prey. Decide on a "magic experiment" with Rimma. The writer has rich experience in communicating with the opposite sex, passes it on to other women, advises how to keep her beloved, while not straining too much, how to raise her self-esteem. You can learn more about this book by reading the reviews and reviews of readers.
Alone
What if the woman is alone?
Take this as a given. new stage in life and enjoy being alone. You do not need to cook for someone in the morning and wash dirty socks, you live for yourself and can do whatever you want. Enjoy this period and you will not notice how the only one with whom you want to wash your socks and cook breakfast will appear in your life.
Understand that successful and happy people attract the same in themselves. If you continue to be heartbroken and suffer, you will attract the same loser to you.
(To all those who want to change everything in their lives once and for all, we recommend Vitaly Gibert's book "Modeling the Future").
After reading the text on Tibetan medicine by a Tibetan doctor, you will understand that women do not have time to develop in the modern world, that is, their physical condition - the bodily does not keep up with the spiritual. Before, it was not so, women gave birth to 5-10 children, but did not do additional things, they got tired much less. So, you are in a period when a woman’s body is being cleansed (menstruation is passing), you also need to cleanse yourself spiritually, conduct meditation, for example, or do something useful, uncomplicated, you can’t be nervous these days, throwing out your energy a lot, you need let only good feelings into your soul. According to this theory, women are divided into 3 types: wind (lung), bile (trip), mucus (badkan). Not very pleasant names, but it is worth exploring these types of female energy, at least for general development. Moreover, each type has its own character, its own diet, which helps to cope with PMS, as a result, increase your vitality. Seemingly simple recommendations that will help a woman survive difficulties, establish contact with herself and other people.
Say in front of the mirror - I am strong, I am a person worthy of respect and love, I value myself and love myself for who I am! Despite the loneliness, as you can see, I am alive, and everything will be fine with me.
