How to recognize lying people. Lie theory: how to understand that a person is lying

According to statistics, each person manages to lie at least 4 times a day, since the truth often contradicts generally accepted standards of decency, ethics and even morality. How to recognize a lie, if not a single modern detector is able to give a 100% guarantee that what a person said is not a deception? Let's define external signs falsehoods that will betray the interlocutor.

What is the untruth

Often deception is harmless when a person tells a lie out of politeness or out of a desire to please ("You look great!", "Very nice to meet you!"). Sometimes people have to withhold the whole truth or remain silent in response to uncomfortable questions out of unwillingness to escalate the situation, and this is also considered insincerity.

However, psychologists say that even seemingly harmless lies can seriously harm relationships, especially when it comes to understatement between family members: husband and wife, parents and children. Achieve mutual trust and maintain strong family bonds in such circumstances is difficult, so it is important to know how to recognize the lies of a man, woman or child.

The observations of specialists in the field of psychology have shown certain results that relate to deception in the family:

1. despite their external openness to the interlocutor, extroverts are more prone to lies than introverts;
2. children quickly learn to lie in authoritarian families, while doing it often and masterfully;
3. parents who behave gently towards the child notice the lie immediately, because he rarely deceives and lies uncertainly;
4. the female gender is prone to deceit when it comes to household items - they hide the price of purchased goods, do not talk about a broken cup or a burnt dish, etc.;
5. men tend to be understated in matters of relationships, they hide their dissatisfaction with a partner, have mistresses and confidently lie about their fidelity.

How to learn to recognize a lie?

To prevent the development of complex family relations built on deceit, infidelity and understatement, it is important to learn to understand sincerity. Often the ability to bring a deceiver to clean water is the natural talent of a person who intuitively knows how to recognize a lie by facial expressions, gestures or intonation of the interlocutor. In this he is helped by the life experience of communicating with liars, or by natural observation.

This is not to say that anyone can't spot cheating without the right experience or talent. Currently, psychology has established some verbal and non-verbal signs of information distortion, which are typical for most people. Thanks to a well-established methodology based on the understanding of such signals, each person will be able to develop the ability to recognize insincerity. Let's find out what can betray a liar.

And if this seems more fiction than truth, then learning to understand the hidden meanings of verbal and non-verbal human behavior is quite real challenge. Is it possible to recognize lies, to calculate deception? Yes. Let's figure out together how to do it.

As D. I. Fonvizin said, “Thank God that there are no duties on lies! After all, where would we all be ruined. We lie every day, yes, yes, and you too! Consciously or not - this is a secondary question, as well as from what motives this happens.

We are taught to lie from childhood by our own parents, when they instill the rules of behavior in society. And in society it is customary to hide their feelings. “Stop whining”, “be patient”, “be strong”, “I don’t want to go there either, but what can I do.” So we gradually learn to lie to ourselves and others that we are always okay. And if this is superimposed on the exactingness of the parents. It is naive to believe that by beating a child and not explaining the reasons for your discontent, you are weaning him from bad behavior. In fact, you are teaching him to do the same, but carefully, seasoning with a good portion of lies. Gradually, the ability to substitute emotions becomes more and more habitual, and we practice deceiving other people.

Interesting fact: men lie more skillfully than women. Perhaps this is related to biological feature the fair sex is overly emotionally involved in communications. When deceived, their emotional involvement becomes even greater, which betrays the lie.

What is a lie

“The most dangerous lie is a slightly perverted truth.” – Georg Lichtenberg

Lies - misleading your interlocutor - the most primitive way to influence a person in the process of communication. By virtue of its structure (motive and action) it cannot exist outside of human consciousness and social contacts.

Despite the worldwide disapproval of lying as such, every person recognizes its benefits. I think it is unlikely that any of you would refuse "positive deception." We are all familiar with the phenomenon of “lying for good”, keeping silent about health problems, difficulties in life. The phenomenon of lying is as much related to ethics and morality as it is to psychology.

Have you had to say “if my memory serves me”, “I could be wrong”, being sure of what you want to say, or just consciously planning to voice a distorted fact, citing forgetfulness (“it will work - it will not work”). I'm sure you had to. And this, too, can be considered a lie.

Types and forms of lies

There are two main types of lies:

• misrepresentation of facts;
• omission of information.

The first type, in turn, is divided into total, situational-total, situational-partial lies, distorted generalization and invention (disinformation, rumors and gossip).

• Total distortion involves constant lying. Complete distortion of any facts.
• A situational-total lie involves a complete distortion of information, but not always, but in specific conditions.
• Situational-partial lies involve periodic lies, often based on established authority and trust.
• Distorted generalization is a favorite method of liars. Take two real facts, but, contrary to all logic, are reduced to the third completely false statement.
• Disinformation is not so much misrepresentation as it is making up false information about someone or something.

The problem of silence as a form of lying in last years began to be viewed differently. This is due to the close contact of silence with the secret, the human right to something personal. In light of this, some modern psychologists suggest that silence should not be regarded as a form of lying.

There is a concept of professional secrecy. How then to be? What to do if two ethical forces clashed: secrecy, that is, the concealment of information, due to the professional code, and lies as a vice of society? All this suggests thoughts about the relativity and ambiguity of lies.

By the way, if a person simply remains silent, then you are unlikely to suspect something. Unless some non-verbal signs will make themselves felt. But a lie is a product of communication, for its birth you need to talk.

Favorable and unfavorable conditions for lying

It is believed that it is easier for high-status people to lie, since a certain trusting attitude is formed towards them. The same is true for successful and beautiful people. An interesting fact is that men are better at recognizing male lies, and women - female ones.

There are certain conditions that predispose to the success of deceit or, on the contrary, doom it to failure, respectively, contributing to the exposure of a liar. All conditions can be divided into three groups: for a lie, for a liar, for a verifier (one who recognizes a lie). See the tables below (the material is based on the work of P. Ekman).

Personality traits of a liar

A liar is afraid of being exposed. Therefore, all his actions are permeated with fear and related ones, respectively, and the signs will be similar.

“No, he does not have a deceitful look, his eyes do not lie. They tell the truth that their owner is a rogue.” – Robert Burns

Non-verbal signs of lying

Among non-verbal signs, behavioral and psychophysiological signs can be distinguished.

Behavioral

This group of the most obvious and difficult to control signs. I recommend that you pay attention to them in the first place.

• Enhanced gesticulation.
• Touching the palm to the face and lips.
• Manipulations with small objects (handle).
• Contradiction of verbal and non-verbal information. For example, verbal agreement combined with head shaking from side to side.
• External change in the eyes (increase, narrowing, changes in the visible space of the eyeball).
• Change of gaze direction. It is believed that looking down symbolizes sadness, to the side - disgust, down and to the side - guilt and shame. This information is so well known that it is considered elementary school liars. A more or less experienced liar will always look straight in the eye or look away where he needs to.
• Changing the gestures of the non-working hand (for most people - the left, if they are right-handed). Depending on the individual norm of a person, gestures become less or more frequent.
• The accompaniment of speech by illustrations, images drawn in the air (stress, underline, circle, wave, and so on) is reduced.

Emblems

Emblems are specific clichés in communication that do not require words. We all know what it means middle finger or a shrug combined with a horseshoe smile and brow twitch, a thumbs up, or a ring of thumb and forefinger.

• Sometimes, by accident, a liar leaks an element of the emblem. For example, one shoulder rises or only a horseshoe smile.
• The second variant of seepage is a change in position. Usually the emblems are shown directly in front of you at the level of the chest and waist. When leaking, the emblem can go to the side, up, and so on. Even putting the index finger to the face can be a distorted version of the third finger emblem.

Emblems are the most accurate, but most rarely leaked, sign of a lie.

Arms

Changes in hands as signs of insincerity include:

• the nature of the movements (smooth, sharp, normal);
• resting position (tense, relaxed);
• standing position during a conversation (in pockets, scratching hair, clenching fists);
• change of pockets familiar to a person (for example, he always puts his hands in his trousers pocket, but here he put them in his jacket);
• support of the head by hand;
• elbows on the table;
• covering the eyes with a hand or the strength of the eye muscles;
• if the latter is a habit of a man, then one must watch when he does it;
• tapping on the table with fingers;
• a situation that causes tapping fingers (thinking, anger);
• any other non-standard gestures and actions for a person.

Legs

The same information is relevant for the legs. If a person performs non-standard actions with his feet, then perhaps he is lying. Worth paying attention to:

• on the movements of the active leg;
• the desire to walk in one foot;
• throwing a leg over the leg (which one is on top?);
• in what situations a person throws his leg over his leg;
• does the overlap of the legs change;
• step speed;
• the position of the legs and the whole body with interest during a conversation (leans back or leans forward, stretches its legs or draws in);
• rocking on toes;
• other individual habits and behaviors.

It is worth paying attention to the characteristics described above. But! It is necessary to analyze changes in these elements in relation to the individual norm and habits of a person. For example, your friend always taps his fingers when he is angry, and in your conversation, although he mentioned that the situation makes him angry, he did not take a characteristic action - he is probably lying and is not really angry. And the other person, in principle, does not have the habit of tapping his fingers or tapping with a different emotion, respectively, and the interpretation of his behavior (truth-falsehood) will be different. Everything is individual.

Appearance

The discrepancy between words and appearance is another sign of deception. It’s easier to notice when a person “becomes sorry” in words, but he himself has all his hands in gold. If a person bought an expensive suit with the last money, in order to later create the image of a respectable person and deceive people, it is more difficult.

It should be understood that, like all signs, this one is subjective. And even if we talk about poverty-wealth, then everyone has their own understanding of the phrase "no money." For some, this is really the last hundred in the wallet, and for some, the remaining tens of thousands. Therefore, a person in his mind may well speak the truth. However, on appearance and its correspondence to the words, the image is always worth paying attention to.

Psychophysiological signs

• Pupil dilation.
• Frequent blinking.
• Micro expressions on the face. A skilled liar knows how to skillfully hide emotions and feelings, replacing them with others. But no matter how strong self-control is, true emotions will always make themselves felt for a couple of seconds. The question is, will you notice them.
• Blurred facial expressions (the liar realizes that unwanted truthful emotion is seeping in and quickly covers it with a false one).
• Rapid breathing, visible chest rise.
• Nervous swallowing or coughing, scratching.
• Sweating or dry mouth, redness or pallor.
• Tears. For a skilled liar, this is not impossible. At the right moment, he will easily moisten his eyes.

Emotions

Domestic biologist I.M. Sechenov determined that each of the main emotions has its own muscle. It determines the facial expression (see the table below; the material is borrowed from the book by A. N. Tarasov “Recognizing a liar. How to recognize deception”).

A sign of deception is the untimely appearance of an emotion, the sudden appearance or disappearance, asymmetry of the face with any emotion. Consciously, a person cannot control the equal contraction of all the necessary muscles. Sometimes these are microscopic disturbances, but they exist.

If you notice that a person is trying to portray something from the table, but the muscles are contracted differently, then there is a high probability that you are a liar. In addition to asymmetry, Paul Ekman identified characteristics some fake emotions:

• Fear is the absence sure signs in the forehead area (eyebrows should be raised and moved).
• Sadness - the absence of signs in the forehead (the inner corners of the eyebrows are turned up).
• Joy - the muscles of the eyes are not involved.
• Enthusiasm or interest in the topic of conversation - untimely illustrations or their insufficient number.
• negative emotions- meager manipulations (with the body, objects), unchanged psychophysiological indicators (does not sweat, does not breathe deeply, and so on).

Verbal signs

Speech

• Uncertainty of answers and avoidance of them.
• Unreasonable judgments. Lack of facts and arguments.
• Slow speech, pauses. A person tries to remember everything that he lied to.
• An inept liar often miscalculates, makes mistakes, and presents the material illogically.
• Frequent use of interjections ("eeee", "nuuuu", "soooo").
• Careless statements. This happens in 85-93% of cases. If a liar does not read from a piece of paper, then he does not follow the content of speech much.

Intonation (paralinguistic)

• Raising the tone of voice, volume, and tempo of speech when hiding anger or fear.
• Opposite reactions, i.e. lowering when trying to hide sadness.

It should be understood that any of the described signs is relative. When revealing a lie, it is important to take into account the characteristics of the person sitting in front of you and know well how he looks and behaves in Everyday life. Sometimes incoherent illogical speech and its paralinguistic features are a sign of underdevelopment of the communicative sphere, excitement, fatigue, randomness of thinking, and not lies. Or, to tell the truth, a person is afraid to look into the eyes because of self-doubt, and when he lies, on the contrary, he looks straight. Dilated pupils, sweating, cold extremities also do not necessarily mean a lie.

Psychology is an inexact science. It does not and cannot have any general scheme problem solving. Signs of a lie are no exception.

If you want to maximize the percentage of accuracy of your observations, then I recommend that you adhere to the following rules:

1. Speak the same language with a potential liar (slang, everyday communication, professional terminology).
2. Take account of intellectual ability and the profession of the person opposite.
3. Express your thoughts as accurately as possible. No hints and "meaning".
4. Ensure unity in the dialogue (topic, direction, speech).
5. Observe logic in the presentation of your speeches.
6. Concentrate all attention on the information and behavior of the partner.
7. Be objective, avoid stereotypes and bias.
8. Take account of psychological features opponent, especially the properties of the psyche (temperament). It is healthy to evaluate his ability to perceive your information.
9. Do not limit the liar in time.
10. Don't talk ahead of time (don't give time to prepare).
11. Prevent attempts to switch to other topics.
12. Exclude from the conversation all strangers who are not on your side.

In order to find out individual reactions in the process of lying, you can first ask your opponent a few questions, the answers to which you know. Or go for the trick and propose a game of "True or False". Your goal is to discover individual characteristics behavior and speech of a person when he tells the truth and when he lies.

Deception always leaks out, but through different channels, often in turn through several. Lie detection is an art that requires a huge amount of practice, attention and observation. If you learn to explore and observe, then you will not need to know the signs of a lie. You will be able to make your own description of "telling the truth" and "lying" to each person.

It is always worth remembering that observation and even beloved by many fixes a person's arousal, and not a lie. You notice the unpreparedness of a person, the thoughtlessness of words. But after all, it happens that before a serious subjectively significant conversation, we really come up with words, and then try to remember them. Or vice versa - we had the courage to admit something, but the words are chosen with difficulty. All reactions are individual and relative.

Finding out exactly what a person is hiding is almost impossible. But to identify contradictions in what he says and what he feels is real. Recognition of lies (emotions) is a complex art that requires many pages of text and your practice, therefore it is impossible to cover all the subtleties within the framework of one article, just as it is impossible to learn to recognize deception after reading one source.

“It would seem that lying is a simple and accessible matter to everyone, but yet I have never seen a liar who would successfully lie three times in a row,” Jonathan Swift.

Literature on the topic

Study the psychology of emotions, then you will be able to catch the true states of a liar. The following books will help you with this:

1. Carroll Izard, The Psychology of Emotions.
2. A. N. Tarasov “Recognize the liar! How to recognize deception: 12 practical tips.
3. A. N. Tarasov “A born liar. Me or you?".
4. D. Novarro, M. Carlins "I see what you're thinking."
5. B. King "The Lying Monkey: An Honest Guide to the World of Deception."
6. Paul Ekman, The Psychology of Lies. Lie to me if you can." I especially recommend this book. It examines in detail each of the emotions (description, illustrations). The whole phenomenon of lies and its recognition "from and to" are described, the rules and safety precautions are given (the relativity that I spoke about).

“Better the bitter truth than sweet lie”- we often hear from people this common, but sometimes contradictory expression. But more often it happens that a lie can really be to the rescue. Having learned the truth, sometimes life breaks down for people, especially for spouses. Well, for example, a man accidentally changed his wife, she found out the truth, the family broke up, it was not possible to understand and forgive, but they could continue to live as before. But for some wives, it’s already itching to find out if her husband is lying to her - they say, I don’t want to be a fool in the eyes of others. Well, it is for such curious women that this article is written.

Most often - from distrust in the family. Or to save a loved one from the bitter truth, because some problems are only temporary.

For example, my husband is in trouble at work. But everything can be destroyed. The wife asks what is going on and realizes that the husband is a liar because he swears to her that everything is fine, but something is not right.

What does the wife do. He calls colleagues, finds out the lies of his spouse, runs to the boss, threatens with all sorts of authorities and fulfills his threats. What does the boss do. Dismisses this poor fellow under article, depriving material calculations. What does the husband do? He remains without work, it is difficult to get a job, his family is in poverty, his wife is in hysterics.

And the problem would have been solved if the wife had not run in search of the truth. And the man, knowing the absurd nature of his wife, could not trust her with what he could easily deal with. But this is not the only example. There are many: the desire to meet friends is “veiled” by being busy at work. I want to buy new game- Stash is being made. Distrust - main enemy families!

Physiognomy lesson

“I can see in your eyes that you’re lying” - such a phrase is often said by parents to their children, realizing that their child is a little liar. It would seem that such a number will not work with adults. And here it is not. Anyone who is at least a little familiar with physiognomy can understand where the lie is and where the truth is. Even in voice and gestures. Well here are some examples.

Eyes

The one who is calm and not going to deceive looks like this:

• right-down (a sign of confidence);
• right-straight (remembering sounds);
• right-up (visual memory);
• left-down (memories of sensations and smells).

Anyone who wants to lie will look like this:

• left-up (a sign of fantasy, unrealistic pictures);
• left-straight (going to voice the deception).

And only straight-looking eyes are a sign that a person is carefully listening to his counterpart. By the way, at this time, a man can also study your view of lies and truth.

Recognizing a liar by general facial expressions is much easier than just one eye. But sometimes the facial expressions of male liars are much "more eloquent" than female ones. For example, men, unlike the weaker sex, often scratch their noses when deceived. This is due to the fact that men have an excitable receptor zone in their nose, unlike women. Do you remember such a fabulous guy - Pinocchio? Lies - the nose grows.

But here are some more secrets of deceitful facial expressions:

The pursing of the lower lip indicates that the man is unlikely to keep the promise. Biting lips - clearly lurking somewhere lies. Man keeps his unnecessary words, fearing that by doing so he will be convicted of deceit. A crooked smile with one corner of his lips - the emotion of a man is insincere. Tense and slightly trembling corners of the lips are a sign of gloating.

A raised (crumpled) chin means that a man is angry and annoyed towards you, no matter how he smiles. By the way, such a false smile can be given out by “not laughing” eyes that do not narrow at all.

If you told him some news, and the man is surprised for more than 10 seconds with violent emotions and facial expressions, then this is a sign that he already knew everything in advance. Since after 10 seconds a truthful person needs to comprehend the news, which means that the emotion will change.

And the most famous sign, coupled with all of the above, is the reddening of the cheeks and ears of liars. They are ashamed that they lie. However, this has nothing to do with those who are naturally able to blush due to some external influences, for example, due to the weather.

Fragment from the film "Liar, Liar"

arrow_left Fragment from the film "Liar, Liar"

Gestures and body movements

You probably noticed how a naughty dog ​​behaves, which was found next to a gnawed boot? He tries to turn away, step back, hide. He is immensely ashamed, but he cannot say anything to lie. Liars behave in much the same way, with the only difference being that they can still lie.

The deceiver will hide his eyes, as if he is distracted by something more important, he will want to turn away, step back. The body movements are slightly nervous, especially the shoulders - they twitch a little, as if a person wants to throw off a load unpleasant conversation. Hands will pull the collar, neck, tie - lies begin to choke.

By the way, Special attention give gestures, everything secret is hidden there. Hands that hug themselves beloved, hidden in a pocket or behind the back, fingers clasped in the lock - all this indicates a lie. A person does not want to thereby betray his excitement - suddenly shaking hands will declassify him.

By the way, in a lying person who has already become inflamed and proves his case with foam at the mouth, gestures simply begin to dance. Then he shakes index finger, allegedly threatening, then sharply lowers his hand with his palm down, supposedly suppressing his counterpart, but all this is again a kind of protection.

Almost everything lies. The politician broadcasts from the podium about how much good he will do for the people - everyone understands that he is lying, but they hope for at least a crumb of truth. The lawyer lies to protect his client, but that's his job. Professional liars do it competently, you can’t find fault with them. But ordinary person this is more difficult to do.

Human, telling the truth, will not say in a generalized way: “Everyone is talking about it!” To the question: “Who exactly?”, He will not repeat: “Yes, everyone!”. He will specifically name the person. And in general - his whole story will be brief, without unnecessary details. Some little things in the story are a red herring. Moreover, these details can be dubbed two or three times: “So I went out, I went out, and when I went out, I met her.”

But the specific things that interest a woman will be crumpled and skipped. For example:

Well, in general, this aunt, like her there, left, and then, can you imagine, I decided not to go by car, but for now it’s light on the street - the sun is shining hot, the birds are chirping, the weather is super, I decided to take a walk.

Aunt "what's her name" is crumpled, but there are so many details about the weather!

When talking, there are two options to hide a lie: either a person proves his “truth” quickly and excitedly, or controls his every word when he is confused in his testimony. There is an opportunity to bring him to clean water - let the "truth-seeker" tell his version exactly the opposite, that is, from the end of events to its beginning. It is unlikely that, entangled in a lie, he will succeed.

Do you need the truth

And further. "Twisting" yourself, you run the risk of becoming a bitch. Like the one that is described in detail in the article. Men don't like that. In the end, you willy-nilly teach your own spouse to lie, and thereby destroy the family yourself. So enlist the golden rule:

The less you know the better you sleep.

Finally, an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the superpower to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man - and you immediately know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have any relationship problems at all.

Who said it's impossible? Of course, you won’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a candidate psychological sciences, and her technique has helped many girls feel loved and receive gifts, attention and care.

If interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for our website visitors.

Lies are common modern world communicative phenomenon. Scientific research and polls show that people lie on a daily basis. However, deceiving every day, people themselves do not know how to understand that a person is lying.

Only a "professional" liar and manipulator knows how to regulate his behavior so that others do not reveal his deceit. Psychologists and physiognomists are able to determine a lie by observing a person. But everyone can learn to recognize deception.

There are many definitions of lying. In logic, a lie is the opposite of truth, a statement that obviously does not correspond to the truth. In everyday life, a lie is called a deception realized by a person.

In psychology, a lie is a deliberate attempt to form a belief in another person that the speaker himself considers wrong. The conscious utterance of a lie is a kind of communication tactic chosen in specific situation.

There are many types of lies:

• hoax,
• falsification,
• simulation,
• plagiarism,
• flattery,
• fairy tales,
• slander,
• bluff,
• self-incrimination, self-deception,
• exaggeration or understatement
• perjury, perjury,
• a good lie
• good lies,
• naked,
• children's,
• pathological
• involuntary.

Why do people cheat

Why do people lie several times a day? Everyday lie is not a gross deceit, but the concealment of insignificant information, it is a lie “on trifles”. Everyone wants to appear better and does not want to spoil relations with others.

A weighty and significant lie is always associated with some significant situation for the individual. It can destroy the structure of personality and spoil the life of the individual.

A person who is dishonest with himself and others is forced to live in constant voltage from having to hide the truth. The truth will sooner or later be revealed, and the revealed deception will entail a lot of negative consequences.

Scientists have two main versions of why people deliberately lie, even when they understand that lying will not lead to anything good:

1. Fear. Why does a person lie? Because he is afraid to tell the truth, even if he cannot admit it to himself.
2. Belief in the necessity of lying. An individual can be sure that it is better for the interlocutor not to know the truth, since it is difficult to accept, understand, and experience it.

Unfortunately, people are used to deceiving each other, but an unscrupulous lie is not a normal phenomenon, but an immoral act.

Every child is taught from childhood to tell only the truth and tell everything to his parents. But the baby still learns to lie over time, looking at adults. Children easily detect inconsistencies in the words and actions of adults and soon realize that untruth can be used as a way to get what they want.

Unless the person is an inveterate liar who takes delight and pleasure in deceit, he will feel negative emotions and feelings when speaking lies. Lying generates shame, fear, and guilt for making the decision to deceive someone and taking that action.

Saying and experiencing lies is. Negative emotions during a lie excite directly and figuratively of this word, physiological changes begin to occur in the body, expressing excitement. The brain sends nerve impulses to the muscles, which cause visible to others and manifestations of deception.

Signs of a lie

How to know if a person is lying? What are the signs of a lie that help declassify it?

No known sign of a lie can be regarded as direct evidence of it. Conversely, the absence of signs of deception does not mean that a person is sincere.

You need to evaluate the behavior of the interlocutor as a whole. Separate actions and movements are considered in combination with other manifestations of a person in relation to the interlocutor.

The behavior of the subject who is lying differs from his normal, usual behavior. Therefore, it is much easier to determine that a person is lying if he is close or familiar. Determining whether a stranger or an unfamiliar person is lying is much more difficult.

When determining deception, a person is carefully observed, signs of a lie are noticed and his situational behavior is compared with normal behavior accepted in a particular situation and environment. Without knowing a person, it is easy to make a mistake and confuse his habitual action with a sign of a lie.

It is possible to catch the interlocutor in a lie, knowing the truth in advance or having the opportunity to verify the information heard. And how do you know that a person is lying when it is impossible to check his words? In this case, knowledge of the signs of a lie will come in handy.

Signs of a lie are verbal and non-verbal. Verbally, deceit is expressed in verbal form.

Non-verbal signs are divided into:

• physiological,
• mimic,
• gestural.

NONVERBAL SIGNS OF DECEPTION:

1. Increased sweating and increased heart rate. Moisturizes the palms, forehead and skin area above the upper lip.
2. Dry mouth. From experiences, the throat dries up, a person often drinks water or swallows saliva.
3. Heavy, irregular breathing or its delay; deep breaths and heavy exhalations.
4. Constriction of the pupils, rapid blinking; staring into the eyes or, conversely, the inability to look at the interlocutor.
5. Change in complexion, redness, blanching or blotching of the skin.
6. The appearance of goosebumps on the body.
7. Tension in the face: twitching of facial muscles, wry smile, furrowed brows.
8. Trembling in the voice, stuttering, coughing, change in timbre, tone, volume of the voice (provided that these speech defects are not caused by anything).
9. Inappropriate and untimely smile or smirk.
10. Chaotic and fussy movements: walking back and forth, rocking the body and the like.
11. Rubbing and scratching various parts of the body.
12. Frequent touching of the neck and face: nose, lips, eyes, forehead, ears, back of the head.
13. Biting lips, fingers or nails.
14. Nervous twitching and tapping of limbs on the floor or other surfaces.
15. Crossed arms or legs, so-called bodily locks.
16. The desire to hide hands behind the back, in pockets, under the table.

All of the above manifestations can be observed when a person is simply worried, worried, trying to please. For example, before public speaking or meeting new people. To determine for sure that a person is lying, you can compare his actions with words.

VERBAL SIGNS OF A LIE:

1. Unwillingness to discuss the topic and constant attempts to change it are clear signs of withholding information.
2. Reticence, evasion, or short yes or no answers. When there is something to hide, a person will be afraid to say too much.
3. Oaths. The interlocutor zealously tries to prove his case, swears and repeatedly gives his word of honor.
4. Long reflections before saying or answering something; protracted pauses in conversation.
5. Repeated flattery and attempts to enter. So the liar is trying to switch attention, reduce the vigilance of the interlocutor.
6. Attempts to arouse sympathy and self-pity. This is done so that the interlocutor does not even think to question the incoming information. Is it possible to doubt the sincerity of the "unfortunate" person?
7. Demonstration of indifference, ostentatious indifference to the topic under discussion.
8. Another significant sign of lying is behavioral. The deceiver never keeps his promises and always finds excuses for this.

It cannot be said that a person is lying if only one sign of lying is found. There should be several of them, both verbal and non-verbal.

How to deal with a scammer

According to statistics, the vast majority of women believe that the truth is better than deceit, while at the same time, every second man is sure that a sweet lie is simply necessary in difficult situations. life situations. But with age, men lie less, try to be frank.

Unfortunately, some people lie so skillfully that it is difficult to declassify them, relying only on the signs of a lie. Help will come. Having sufficient life experience, one can guess that a person is lying and protect himself from the consequences of deception.

Lies are classified depending on the degree of complexity, the level of "skill" of the deceiver:

• First level

Manipulation without the intention of influencing beliefs. Such a lie is called childish. The deceiver utters a clear lie, not realizing that it is not difficult to declassify him. Why do people lie like children? Because they are afraid of punishment or want to receive a reward, hiding negative or inventing positive actions, respectively.

• Second level

The manipulator convinces the interlocutor of the veracity of the information, realizing that this will affect all subsequent thoughts and actions. Roughly speaking, second-level liars know how to "show off", mislead.

• Third level

A liar knows how to deceive so that he is not caught in a lie. This is skillful manipulation and skillful deception. Fraudsters use tricks, techniques and deception strategies. Such "advanced" lies are not uncommon in politics, journalism, commerce, and entertainment.

Having noticed several signs of lies in the behavior of the interlocutor at once, it is worth considering why the person is openly lying and how to continue to behave with him. But do not rush to bring charges without checking your guesses.

Suspecting the dishonesty of the interlocutor, you need to:

1. Try to keep calm. The natural reaction to untruth is resentment and indignation. But if you express them in the heat of the moment, the deceiver will find a way to justify himself.
2. Guess why the person is lying now. To say exactly why a particular person is lying, only he himself can.
3. Check your assumptions, if necessary, find evidence and facts.
4. Talk to the deceiver, giving him the opportunity to explain the situation, confirm or refute the truthful information.
5. Establish fraud. Having understood the situation, you need to make a decision to forgive the deceiver or stop due to the loss of trust in him.
6. Not everyone will find the courage to expose a liar, sometimes it is dangerous to do so. But when it comes to intra-family conflicts or disagreements at work, it is simply necessary to find out why people lie and dot the i's.

Once a person who lied, it is difficult to regain trust, and if deception becomes a habit, others cease to respect and love. Liars and deceivers often become outcasts, stop in their development, degrade.

Lies can destroy any relationship, personal life and career. Why people lie knowing this remains a mystery. It is much more effective to communicate sincerely, openly, honestly express the available information, your thoughts and feelings to others.

How to determine if a person is lying?
The following signs should signal a lie or an attempt to hide something:
1. When someone is asked something, people who have hidden a stone in their bosom usually get off with very short and concise explanations. To recognize a lie, you need to try to talk a person.
2. It should be remembered that, although malefactors are taciturn, they often spontaneously try to justify their practical silence even when they are not prompted to do so.
3. Note also that deceivers and those who have something to hide tend to repeat the question each time before answering it. This, perhaps, is necessary for them to buy time when considering deception.

4. Those who hide their true goals and intentions, often keeping a close eye on the questioner's reaction. It is understandable - I wonder what kind of reaction a false story causes?
5. Professional liars, as they develop their version and to study the reaction of the investigator, slow down their speech at first, but then they shoot out words when the “fable” is invented.
After all, they know that "mooing" arouses suspicion. Normal, truthful people don't have this - they don't have to care how they talk - fast or slow.

6. Liars, unlike those who do not lie, use fragmentary phrases more often in speech: they start to answer, then suddenly break off the phrase, returning to the beginning, and, as a rule, do not finish it.
7. When an unpleasant question is raised, citizens who have something to hide are likely to purse their lips, start stroking their hair, and generally tend to perform similar “body care” actions.
If a person is lying, he is more likely to gesticulate with his hands in the direction of himself. If not, then the gestures go from him, outward.

8. People who have nothing to hide when asked for details often deny they are lying and offer more explanation.
Liars usually stand their ground without offering further clarification.
9. Upon hearing a difficult question, truthful people usually turn away in order to concentrate on understanding it.
Liars, as a rule, turn away only for a moment, or try not to move at all, unless, of course, the issue requires maximum concentration.

10. In order to verify the authenticity of what is told, it is necessary to force the narrators to repeat the whole story, starting from the end and not missing the nuances, repeating the smallest details.
Such a request undermines the liar's position: even a professionally trained deceiver experiences a severe load on the brain, since he has to strictly follow the version presented earlier while monitoring the listener's reaction.