Probably, any girl, woman wants not only to get married, but also to be happy in marriage. It is a delusion to think that your husband will make you happy. Of course, he will try, but without your help he is unlikely to succeed. Creating a happy union is the task of both of you. Therefore, this time I want to reveal the secrets of a happy marriage not only to women, but also to men.
What are the secrets of a happy marriage?
So, the first secret is that each other should be treated especially. To begin with, it is important to understand that your chosen one is not as perfect as you might think, and you can immediately start preparing for the fact that you will soon recognize him from the other side. Perhaps not the best. And here, attention, you need to calm down and exhale. It takes time to accept a partner, so do not flog a fever and say that you made a mistake in your choice or that you want to break up. All families go through this, you are not special. Accepting your soul mate is difficult, but possible. It is from this moment that a real family begins without rose-colored glasses, with real feelings.
The third secret is to be beautiful for your husband. Do makeup not when you go "to people", but in the morning after waking up. Wear beautiful clothes not for the occasion, but at home. After all, think for yourself, for whom are we dressing up? Why are we used to making a marathon for strangers, and in front of our husbands we allow ourselves to walk in an old dressing gown without makeup and hair? Somehow it doesn't make sense to me.
The next secret of a happy marriage is: "The husband is the main, but not the center of the universe." Your world should not be limited to your husband or revolve around him. Develop, learn, improve. Remember, a man never loses interest in a woman who grows with him. And together - this does not mean that she should be interested in the same things as he. Together means in sync. After all, if one of the couple slows down in their development, then they can no longer walk side by side, hand in hand. Someone ahead, someone behind. Soon, interest in each other in such a pair will fade away and they will either live as neighbors in the same house, or disperse.
And the last, fifth secret: doing for your husband what you would like him to do for you is wrong. Men and women are too different to be equal to each other. Therefore, if you want to please him, then study what exactly will be pleasant for him. For example, women love to talk heart to heart, men love to retire and think it over all alone. It is important for women to feel secure, for a man to understand that you need him and believe in him. In a word, for happy family relationships, it is not enough to act at random or in the way that you think is right. It is important to study the psychology of a man and understand what exactly will bring your husband the greatest happiness.
The strength of the relationship between lovers is tested by time. Similar tastes and views will not be enough to live a long life together.
Before deciding to connect life with a person, check if you can do the same in a couple of decades. Psychologists offer couples 10 characteristics with which they can find out their attachment to each other.
1 Your trust. You must learn to trust your partner, not listen to gossip, justify the trust of a loved one. Strong relationships are much easier to build if you have a building block of trust in your foundation.
2. Your respect. Feelings in which you plunge headlong subside over time, and often new details of your partner's character begin to emerge. Think about it, are you ready to connect your life with a person about whom you know nothing? Hormonal attachment, sexual desire and adoration will not be sufficient characteristics to create a strong family for life.
3. Your friendship. This point in the relationship is no less important. You should be not only in love, but also the most devoted friends for each other. You will support your partner not only in joy, but also in grief. Think about whether you are ready for such sacrifices, would you leave your soul mate if she starts having problems?
4. Your sense of humor. All people are different, and for sure you have seen more than one union that could be described as strange. Humor helps you to be on the same wavelength, prolongs the happiness of living together and makes it possible to treat life's difficulties with humor.
5. Your independence. Another building block of a strong bond is the independence of both partners. You should have personal space and hobbies, the opportunity to walk with friends and spend time separately from each other, without ceasing to trust your partner.
6. Your empathy. You must literally feel your partner. To be able to put yourself in his place and understand the cause of his sadness, problems. Also, empathy will help you put your partner in the first place, understand him perfectly, share experiences. Empathy is a subtle matter, in which two lovers even remain silent comfortably in each other's company.
7. Your passion. In a relationship, passion is not the last place. But over time it goes away. Are you ready to excite each other for many years, to continue to see in your partner not just a neighbor, but a person for whom you have passion and desire?
8. Your maturity. Are you ready to build your relationships not as teenagers, but as adults? Do not call names and do not blame each other, but be able to compromise? If you can calmly discuss problems and find a common solution, open to dialogue, then your relationship will last a long time.
9. Your communication. You must be able to communicate, speak directly to your partner about your preferences, be able to listen to your loved one. Communication is an effective weapon that helps keep your love alive for years to come.
10. Your love. This feeling should be the best motivation for you to maintain and develop your relationship. Mutual love should become the fundamental principle so that your couple can survive all the hardships, maintain a wonderful microclimate of your personal life.
Do not forget that you must fight bad habits, change for the better for the sake of your beloved. Relationships in couples are a job for two, which helps you get to know each other better, fall in love with your chosen one again and live, radiating positivity.
Sting with wife Trudy Styler, 1992
Marriage is a delicate matter, most of us aspire to go there, thinking that this will end all life's problems and the fabulous “they lived happily ever after” will come. However, this is only just the beginning - how you and your partner work on the relationship will determine its future outcome. In order for the marriage to be long, happy, harmonious, and so that your love with the chosen one grows stronger day by day, take the following secrets into service:
Don't take small troubles to heart
An anniversary date forgotten by a chosen one, a quarrel about a vacation, or a refusal to go to your girlfriend's birthday party are completely insignificant trifles on a life scale. Do not let them spoil your union: accumulating resentment, bothering about trifles is not a good idea, which only harms relationships and exacerbates problems.You and He are against the whole world, but not You against Him
Again: we live in a difficult time, when every day you have to defend yourself, your interests, goals, finances in the end. This means that the home should remain the most comfortable, safe, accepting place where you can relax and be yourself. If you manage to create such an “oasis of love and support”, do not hesitate - your relationship will be the happiest.
Sting and Trudy, 2006
Learn to listen
Often, communicating with colleagues, friends and even loved ones, we take their words for granted, and we can’t wait until we can finally say something ourselves. Nevertheless, the ability to listen, and, most importantly, to hear is an overvalued skill for relationships, which, alas, very few people possess. Learn to perceive the needs, fears, wishes and fears of a partner when he tells you about them. And also remember that it is much more difficult for men to share their innermost things than for us, so sometimes you will have to recognize the true message literally in a couple of words.Find time for yourself
One of the most common mistakes girls make when they get married or start living with a guy is giving up their own interests and hobbies. Men, on the other hand, very rarely refuse regular gatherings with friends or football on weekends when they have a stamp in their passport. To keep your significant other interesting, and to live a full, happy life, don't stop spending time on the things you love. Whether it's shopping on Sundays or yoga dancing three times a week, set aside time for it and don't feel guilty about it. Self-development is only good for your relationship.I love you
No matter how long you are together, do not stop confessing your love to the chosen one. Do it verbally, through a cup of tea brought to bed in the morning or a funny note on the refrigerator - often remind him and yourself of your feelings, then they will only grow stronger.
Sting and his wife, 2015 - soon the couple will celebrate a silver wedding.
Married couples who have been happily married for many years share their secrets on how to make love endless.
- Trudy and Paul have been married for 35 years:“I once read in a very old book on marriage: “Always treat your husband as the most honored guest in the house.” In other words, your behavior should be the best. It changed me, and my husband responded to me in return. And my personal opinion about marriage is this: "Good relationships are built from a thousand small good deeds for each other."
- Steve and Cheryl have been married for 20 years:“Never discuss sensitive issues when you are hungry or tired. And to improve communication, chew marshmallows. What can't you do with a mouthful of marshmallows? Speak. And communication is more about listening than talking. I always tell my wife, if what I said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the options upsets or angers you, then I meant the other option.
- Stephanie has been married for 18 years:“We purposely sit side by side on the couch every night. My father told me to do this when I got married. Because then you touch each other, you feel the cozy warmth and energy of a loved one.
- Rita and Kurt have been married for 27 years:“Watch your manners. Too often we show more respect for strangers than for those we love. Parents often expect good treatment from their children, although they themselves do not show it among themselves. “Please give me this plate” sounds much gentler and kinder than “Give me this.” Kindly, could you, please, I'm sorry - these are magic words. And they're not just for dates."
- Don and Estelle have been married for 50 years:“Our biggest tip for newlyweds is to only look forward and look back only for the good times. Each of us has flaws and mistakes, and therefore, if all your attention is focused on past bad times, your marriage can turn into a heavy burden. Remember and revel in your successes. Ignore the moments when you failed. Don't try to blame the problem, try to find a solution. Love is like a boomerang, throw it at your spouse and it will come back to you.”
- Don and Tony have been married for 32 years:“Always find something to laugh at. Laugh together. Times are cruel. Problems happen in all families, and things don't always go smoothly in life. But if you find a way to laugh at it, then unity will arise between you, and you can overcome everything!”
- Nicholas and Rafaela have been married for 82 years:: “Always respect each other and try not to attach too much importance to the little things. Our parents also lived for many years in a happy marriage. Our family does not know what divorce is at all. Raising family values is a very important part of the culture.”
- Judy and Jeff have been married for 22 years:“Remember: Women want to be loved and adored. And men want to feel respect ... Even more than love. It sounds strange, but it's true. Do not deprive your man of masculinity. Don't take your woman for granted. Life becomes boring and stressful. Your marriage will have times when it is both strong and weak. Whatever you did at the beginning of your marriage that ended up laughing together, take the time to repeat those same things 10, 20, and 30 years later. Read excerpts from your favorite book to each other, watch your favorite movies together.
- Dave and Rose have been married for 32 years:“In a couple, each should strive to do good for the other, and not fight in the style of “And me?”. And then with experience comes a win-win solution where each person gives and serves the other.”
- Chuck and Marilyn have been married for 41 years.: “When we faced adversity together, it brought us closer. Caring for children was also a powerful force. And as soon as you have grandchildren, the family bond is strengthened even more.
- Charlene and Rick have been married for 18 years:“Divorce is not a solution to think about, talk about, and think of as the answer to a problem. Almost all problems are short-term. Divorce is the long term answer. If money becomes the reason, discuss it immediately. Family life is not garden greens, these are values that give rise to contradictions and disputes.
- Paula and Dan have been married for 26 years:"Keep dating. Since we've been married, we try to spend one night a month as a couple. When the children were small (up to 6 months), we took them with us, we never sat at home. And it doesn't have to be just the two of you. Date other people or couples. This will give you the opportunity for interesting full-fledged communication, and not a long discussion of domestic problems.
- Julia and Mark have been married for 15 years:“Be caring, patient, and accepting of what happens in your partner's life. We have always known that it is important to always remain an individual person. There are things that we would like to achieve personally. We would like our goals in work to be not only understood, but also supported. And it's not always easy. My husband went through 2 stages of my higher education and a job change in 5 companies. And today I put him on a plane flying to the war zone to fulfill my military duty. I have an ambiguous opinion about sending our troops outside the homeland. But I believe in my husband and I know it's important to him."
- Rick and Jen have been married for 14 years: Forget your old "best" friends. Now you have a new best friend. Give each other unforgettable moments.
- Nancy and Don have been married for 16 years:“The most important thing for a long and happy married life is to know yourself first before marriage.”
- Beverly and Pablo have been married for 33 years:“Spare yourself from friends, families and situations that negatively affect your life and family, and let your husband do the same. Keep your intimate life interesting. Listen to each other's fantasies. Don't be afraid to be sensual in the marital bedroom. And be sure to plan an amazing vacation together.”
- Ralph and Teresa have been married for 17 years:" We are best friends. When sex becomes less important, it is best to enjoy doing things together (what used to be done alone). For example, we travel by car for several days to get to a car exhibition. And we start to like each other even more.
- Lisa and Brian have been married for 12 years:“We made a pact not to quarrel over money. Financial problems lead to divorce. And we do not want our relationship to deteriorate because of such an insignificant issue as money. We have gone through financial ups and downs, we have gone through times of unemployment and huge loans. But we never blame each other for anything and always discuss financial matters calmly.
- Doren and Tim have been married for 20 years:“We are as different as partners can be in a couple. But instead of being annoyed by our differences, we enjoy them. We find each other's quirks endlessly funny, like watching exotic animals in a zoo. Not a day goes by that I don't die of laughter because my husband makes fun of something I do. We often tease each other. And it never looks low and mean. We are each other's best psychotherapists.
- Lanni and Christine have been married for 23 years:"You must have a common . When a couple has it, any bump on the road to it will be a guide to the goal. Without a dream, any obstacle on the way will be a huge peak for you to climb. Find your purpose on this planet, make a list of the values of your life, take a step forward and forward!
- Anna and Dean have been married for 25 years:“If you believe that you are made for each other and are going to live a long, happy life, develop and grow together, you need to always stay in close spiritual closeness with each other. Otherwise, as a result, you will find that you do not know your spouse at all, because he / she has changed over the years.
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All happy families are alike. So, there should be a universal recipe for family harmony and well-being.
website collected the experience of happily married stars who easily reveal their secrets of success in their personal lives.
Barbra Streisand and James Brolin
Married 19 years
Barbra went to female happiness for a long time: she and James met already in adulthood, when both were over 50. Streisand considers the foundations of a strong marriage kindness and honesty: Spouses can confess to each other absolutely everything.
Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady
Married 8 years
A classic union: a world-famous model and a successful athlete. The couple has 2 children and, of course, the marriage has had to overcome some difficulties over the years. But whatever happens, the main thing is spouse support, Gisele Bündchen is sure.
Meryl Streep and Don Gummer
Married 39 years
In 1978, Meryl Streep's fiancé, actor John Cazale, died of cancer. The actress remained until the end next to her lover and was very upset by the loss. During this difficult time, the sculptor Don Gummer was nearby, who helped her recover from the loss. Six months later they got married. The most important thing in marriage, according to Streep, be able to listen to a partner and pronounce all the problems and trifles.
Colin Firth and Livia Giuggioli
Married 20 years
The actor and film producer have been married for two decades, and when asked what their secret is, they answer: "We Treat marriage like a long-distance race You can't get away with it." In addition, the stars try to spend a lot of time together, adjusting their work schedules.
Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan
Married 8 years
The stars of the cult melodrama "Step Up" met thanks to this film and have been inseparable ever since. Their secret is honesty in expressing feelings. “We often test our feelings with the question: “How much do you love me on a scale of 1 to 10 at the moment?” And you need to answer as honestly as possible in order to get honesty in return,” Channing reveals the secret.
Pierce Brosnan and Keely Shaye Smith
Married 16 years
TV presenter Keely Shay Smith is a self-sufficient and independent person. Pierce is sure that if he does not pay due attention to his wife, then she will not tolerate disrespect and will be able to do without him. The couple believes that the path to a strong marriage is respect your partner and not try to remake him.
Matt Damon and Luciana Barroso
Married 12 years
The handsome actor married not a model or an actress, but an ordinary girl who worked as a bartender. According to Damon, he is glad that his wife has a family in the first place, and not a career, and considers himself very lucky: "This is my secret: constantly remember how lucky I am with his wife". And the spouses also have a "rule of 2 weeks": they do not part with each other for more than this period.
Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber
Married 19 years
The model and entrepreneur met about 30 years ago, when Cindy was not yet known. The fleeting romance between them ended and gave way to a long friendship. During this time, the supermodel managed to be married to Richard Gere and get a divorce. Soon, she and Randy realized that they were made for each other. "Our relationship started with friendship, and I'm sure that you can't find a stronger basis for marriage," the top model admitted.
John Travolta and Kelly Preston
Married 26 years
When John and Kelly lost their 16-year-old son in 2009, their marriage seemed to be over. But the couple managed to cope with terrible grief and save the family. Travolta once admitted that it helps them to keep the peace in their marriage... list maintenance in which they write down all the everyday and psychological nuances of marriage, and then discuss them and find a solution together.
Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner
Married 13 years
The actor, who survived a painful divorce (he has 3 children from his first marriage, and there are 7 in total), is convinced that his younger children will never experience what the elders experienced during the breakup of their parents, because Kevin is firmly confident in his second wife Christine. The actor believes that marriage is very important be able to ask for forgiveness even when you think you're right.
