What if any unfamiliar situation causes you great excitement? What if a half-hour buffet leads to an unbearable desire for privacy, as a "social hangover" inevitably sets in? Perhaps you are one of the orchid people.
Hypersensitivity
A bit of theory: the phenomenon of hypersensitivity was first described by Elaine Ayron, an American psychotherapist. Before her, all orchid people were mistakenly classified as either introverts or simply nervous or even neurotic people. Hypersensitivity has nothing to do with diseases and deviations! Of course, introversion is found in most orchid people, but there are also extroverts among them.
I will make a reservation that this is not a scientific work and I did not conduct research. What is written here is the result of observations of myself and others like me, and I was inspired by Elaine Ayron's book "The Hypersensitive Nature".
Who are these orchid people?
You can safely classify yourself as one of these 25% subtle natures if you have most of the following signs:
2. Caution and even slowness in making decisions
3. A tendency to deeply analyze one's actions and the events taking place around
4. Increased attention to subtle details and subtle trends
5. High susceptibility to the emotions of other people (high empathy, pity for the weaker), as well as avoidance of conflicts
6. Loss of concentration and confusion in a situation of assessment and observation by other people
7. Developed intuition, propensity for foresight
8. Right-brain thinking, good creativity
9. Introversion (about 70% of orchid people are introverts), avoidance of publicity and a wide range of communication
10. Propensity for constant learning, the desire for self-improvement
11. Increased vulnerability and a tendency to more pronounced physical discomfort, that is, they suffer more from pain, tolerate hunger worse
12. Higher susceptibility to drug treatment, caffeine
Now we will analyze in more detail the main features of orchid people, and how they manifest themselves at work, in communication with colleagues.
1. High susceptibility to external stimuli and strong excitability of the nervous system
Details:
Perhaps this is the most striking and defining feature of orchid people. If we take beads as a metaphorical image, then this feature is a thread, and all
the rest are beads, which without a thread could not make beads.
The reaction of highly sensitive people to any, even a minor stimulus, is stronger than most people. The reaction to unexpected and unfamiliar stimuli is especially strong. For example, the unexpected sound of breaking glass or someone's shout will make you shudder, gasp and your heart will beat strongly. Strong irritants completely stun you and cause a stupor reaction, a desire to retire as soon as possible. Therefore, orchid people, due to their increased emotionality, try to avoid:
Crowded traffic during rush hour
Meetings with large crowds
Buffets and noisy parties
Long noisy lines
Traffic jams (by the way, orchid people know better than others how to avoid traffic jams;)
Cause:
The nervous system of orchid people is tuned to a higher susceptibility to minor stimuli. This, in turn, implies a more detailed processing of information entering the brain. As a result, the overload of the nervous system is greater than in most people. From here - fatigue sets in faster, with strong irritants - fatigue is completely deafening.
Manifestation in the business environment:
Orchid people are extremely uncomfortable in large and noisy meetings. In order not to aggravate your internal tension and not to force
their heart beat even faster, prefer to remain silent. They definitely don't like open-space offices.
Of course, I don't like to work on the weekends, but if you have to go out, the bonus is the opportunity to sit in an empty office with dimmed lights! My work is in full swing in such an environment!
2. Caution and slowness in making decisions.
Details:
Orchid people prefer to think through all the possible consequences of any action, which takes a lot of time. But their decisions are often successful,
because they were based on collecting a large number of facts and considering all possible options.
Cause:
Your brain is always striving for careful and deep processing of information, and this takes much more time.
Manifestation in the business environment:
Such people work on the principle of "measure seven times, cut once." A job in which you need to make decisions quickly causes the strongest
stress.
3. The tendency to constantly analyze their actions and the events taking place around them
Details:
Orchid people are prone to prolonged reflection and introspection. Surrounding it can be perceived as wandering in the clouds and counting crows;).
Constant internal dialogue can lead to absent-mindedness and some awkwardness in actions. But precisely because of this inner work
orchid people are more often endowed with worldly wisdom, they are more often reasonable and prudent in their actions, more often they become truly mature people.
Cause:
All the same tendency to constantly process incoming information.
Manifestation in the business environment:
When discussing some new information, a hypersensitive employee may seem to have a poor grasp of what is happening. But thanks to his penchant for analysis, he subsequently comes to an even deeper understanding of the details and nuances than others.
She herself noticed the following: when I learn something new in large quantities, there is confusion and chaos in my head. But I already know that the brain is semiconsciously processing what it has learned. And the next day or week (depending on the complexity of the task or information) comes SUCH clarity and understanding, which at first I never dreamed of! The expression "Morning is wiser than evening" is exactly about orchid people!
4. Increased attention to subtle details and trends
Details:
From a highly sensitive nature, you are more likely to hear the phrase "Something is wrong here ..." It is the orchid people who will be the first to pay attention to subtle changes in the usual course of things. Whether it will be a false alarm or the beginning of an impending disaster is already a matter of time. But in any case, it will be wise for other people to listen to them. Perhaps, when the tsunami approached in Thailand, the orchid people were the first to pay attention to the animals running away from the shore, and even more so did not rush to collect shells on the exposed shore before the arrival of a big wave ...
High susceptibility to minor stimuli is combined with increased attention to detail. The nervous system of orchid people, figuratively speaking, wears glasses with magnifying glasses: they help to see details better, but the incoming light from the lenses burns more. Nature has given us such lenses so that we can see the approaching danger in advance and warn our fellow tribesmen. A separate post on my website is devoted to the benefits of orchid people for the rest of the community.
Manifestation in the business environment:
You are the one who can alert your boss or your colleagues to a problem before it gets worse. You are the one who first notices the subtle
changes in the market and warn others about it. You may have a reputation for exaggerating danger all the time. But rather in you
appreciate this insight.
I tried to show most of the characteristic features of orchid people as advantages and strengths. Believe me, I was not afraid to go too far, since such people are rarely prone to inflated self-esteem, and such praises against them will not lead to narcissism.
About increased susceptibility, and how to live with it?
Today's article will be useful to all those who, when communicating with an unpleasant person, begin to have a headache, who simply have tears from injustice and sad events, those who react supersensitively to the weather, people around them, world cataclysms, watched films or read books, their own and other people's work, mutual misunderstanding, for any business or for recreation - in general, for life in all its manifestations.
Such hypersensitive people need to be able to follow certain rules and some limitations in perception, because otherwise there may simply not be enough internal resources, which go at an alarming rate to comprehend what worries them. And these resources are simply necessary for hypersensitive people to quickly restore mental and physical strength, without which it is impossible to maintain normal relationships and perform elementary tasks.
Increased susceptibility has many positive aspects that are noticeable to the surrounding naked eye: a hypersensitive person is attentive and responsive, as a rule, is engaged in creativity, he is caring and compassionate, and is able to give a lot to others emotionally. Such people are usually pleasant to talk to, they quickly fall in love with themselves, they are not always in the center of the company, but almost certainly are its soul.
The other side of increased susceptibility is sudden mood swings, low work capacity, loneliness and apathy. Each personal loss is experienced very painfully, each break in relations is perceived as one's own death, such people very often idealize the objects of their sympathy, and then experience severe disappointment.
You should not fight with increased susceptibility, you need to come to terms with it and learn how to manage it in your personal interests, because sometimes it can be very difficult and even unbearable to live with it.
How to be?
Communicate with those who are attractive and interesting to you, from the rest, if necessary, put up mental barriers, you can also visualize a wall between yourself and inappropriate interlocutors with the feeling that you are safe and nothing bad will pass through the wall.
Learn to step back from unnecessary emotions and experiences - this is a great way that will suit people with increased susceptibility. If you have already let something superfluous into yourself that carries negativity, try not to get involved in this state, follow it as if from the outside, wondering where it could come from, and deciding for yourself not to live this negative emotion. After some time, it will pass by itself, having lost your attention.
It is very important to find ways to free yourself from unnecessary worries. As a sewer, for draining unnecessary and harmful emotions, creativity is perfect, or physical training, in general, is a favorite pastime, everyone can have their own.
And, at least sometimes, arrange for yourself a time of partial or complete isolation. If you understand that you no longer have the strength to let all this negativity through you, turn off your phone and other means of communication, and try to close yourself at home with an interesting book, or take care of household chores, go to the forest and enjoy loneliness and silence, where you can bring your thoughts in order and restore strength.
In this article, I will offer several ways to distract yourself from negative thoughts. To some they will seem simple and familiar, but I hope someone will take them into service and it will become a little easier for him to live.
What torments you today will bother you in two days, a week, a month, a year? Maybe it's an ordinary trifle that you will forget in a couple of days? If your thoughts are occupied with some trifle, throw it out of your head without regret and go do more useful things.
Think about the worst outcome of the situation. Imagine the real situation in detail, detail the “tragic end” as much as possible. What happens if you don't stop worrying? It's no secret that all diseases are caused by nerves. You can easily get sick, or a chronic disease can worsen - this often happens with hyper-responsible workaholics. Believe me, your favorite job, which you are so worried about, will not put you on your feet, and no one will appreciate your dedication.
If you can’t influence the outcome of the situation in any way, humble yourself, calm down and get distracted. No one will be relieved of your suffering, so do something useful: clean up, go to the gym, go to the movies or go for a walk with friends.
If you are constantly nervous about what might happen in the future, then you are unlikely to enjoy the present. But what if this future does not come, if the problem resolves itself, some circumstances change, etc.? It turns out that you were wasting precious time on empty thoughts. Wouldn't it be better to live for today and do more pleasant and useful things?
With whom you lead, from that you will gain. I hope that in your environment there are people from whom you can learn frivolity and a simple attitude to life. Learn from such friends: they never "wind up" themselves, do not suffer from long reflections, but simply live and take all the events in life for granted. Perhaps this is the secret of true happiness?
When I was in kindergarten, a boy from my group threw my favorite book off the balcony, says 20-year-old Anna. “I remember crying terribly—not because of the book, but because I hated that boy.” The main sign of hypersensitivity is strong emotions that can arise due to the most insignificant reasons.
Some of us are just more acutely aware of everything that happens to them, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. According to psychologist Elaine Aron, there are approximately 20% of hypersensitive people (hypersensitives) in society. This means that one or more of your acquaintances, friends or relatives, most likely, belongs to their number.
Here's what to remember when dealing with hypersensitives. Elaine Eyron is a psychologist and author of The Hypersensitive Nature. How to succeed in a crazy world” (Azbuka-Atticus, 2014).
1. THEY CRY A LOT
Hypersensitive people may cry when they are happy, sad, or irritated. This does not mean that they are bad. They just experience everything that happens to them very intensely, and tears help emotional release.
2. THEY ARE NOT NEEDED TO BE INTROVERTED
Introversion can go hand in hand with hypersensitivity, but this is not always the case. In fact, as Elaine Ayron discovered, 30% of hypersensitive people are extroverts. Often they require even more attention because they find it difficult to regulate their emotional state, they are more dependent on others and may experience a kind of intoxication from impressions.
3. THEY ARE NERVOUS WHEN THEY NEED TO MAKE A DECISION
The ability to quickly and confidently make decisions is not the strongest feature of hypersensitivity. Even when it comes to such banal things as choosing a cafe for lunch. The reason is that they are very afraid of making the wrong choice: suddenly the food in the cafe will be too expensive, the music will be too loud, the waiters will ignore them, and their companion will not like it there.
4. THEY REACT TO THE SMALLEST CHANGE
“If you are used to ending messages with a smiley, but this time you put an end to it, be sure: we will definitely note this,” says Anna. “And we’ll probably start to get nervous.” Hypersensitives tend to be very sensitive to what's going on in their environment and instantly notice when things aren't going their way.
5. THEY ARE ALWAYS LISTENING
If you need a friendly shoulder, feel free to contact them. Hypersensitives can make small talk, but they do best in the role of an attentive listener. You can be sure that they will not interrupt you, will not become distracted and change the subject.
6. THEY HATE NOISE AND LOUD SOUNDS
A high-speed train, car horns, overly sociable colleagues ... All this not only annoys us - we suffer, as if every sound is driven into our heads with a hammer. According to Elaine Ayron, it's all about the reduced threshold of sensitivity, because of which any stimulus is felt more strongly.
7. THEIR WORK HABITS ARE VERY UNUSUAL
The ideal option is to work at home or in any quiet place. This allows you to focus and keep your nerves in order. “Hypersensitivity people are able to take advantage of their ability to observe,” says Elaine Ayron. “They have a knack for thinking about ideas and then presenting them in a way that will be taken seriously.” Their analytical skills and attentiveness to other people's comments make them excellent teammates (as long as they are not put in charge of making major decisions).
8. THEY DO NOT LIKE TO TICKLE
A horror movie or a thriller is not the best choice if you want to invite a hypersensitive person to the cinema. The tendency to empathize, combined with an increased susceptibility to emotionally charged images, can cause shock in them.
9. They don't take criticism well.
Avoidance of anything that can cause too much excitement, a hallmark of hypersensitivity. As a result, they try to do everything possible so that they themselves do not hurt the feelings of others and not cause their displeasure.
10. THEY TAKE EVERYTHING TO HEART
When communicating with hypersensitives, avoid ridicule. Of course, they themselves can love good jokes and try to relate to life with humor, but even the hint that something may be wrong with them makes them nervous.
11. THEY ARE VERY SENSITIVE TO PAIN
Pain is also a kind of stimulation. Not surprisingly, hypersensitives perceive it more acutely. Elaine Ayron's research has confirmed that hypersensitive people have a low pain threshold, and the expectation of pain (for example, in the dentist's office) can make you feel pain even when no one touches them.
12. THEY DREAM OF DEEP RELATIONSHIPS
Hypersensitives find it difficult to make new acquaintances. The stress of uncertainty, the expectation of possible awkwardness, the painful guessing of what the interlocutor is thinking, all this tires them. Hypersensitive people seek to find a reliable, empathetic partner with whom they can relax and who they can completely trust.
13. THEY CAN'T CHANGE IT IN THEM
Hypersensitivity is not just a whim or a lack of character. Elaine Eyron found that areas of the brain associated with empathy and cognition in hypersensitive people become more aroused when they are shown photographs of a face with traces of strong emotions. In other words, this behavior is biologically programmed.
If there is an oversensitive person in your environment, try to be sensitive to him. Most likely, he himself understands his own characteristics well, therefore he behaves carefully and considerately. But he expects understanding from you too.
A PHOTO Getty Images
“When I was in kindergarten, a boy in my group threw my favorite book off the balcony,” says 20-year-old Anna. “I remember crying terribly—not because of the book, but because I hated that boy.” The main sign of hypersensitivity is strong emotions that can arise due to the most insignificant reasons.
Some of us are just more acutely aware of everything that happens to them, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. According to psychologist Elaine Aron, there are approximately 20% of hypersensitive people (hypersensitives) in society. This means that one or more of your acquaintances, friends or relatives, most likely, belongs to their number.
Here's what to remember when dealing with hypersensitives. Elaine Eyron is a psychologist and author of The Hypersensitive Nature. How to succeed in a crazy world” (Azbuka-Atticus, 2014).
1. They cry a lot
Hypersensitive people may cry when they are happy, sad, or irritated. This does not mean that they are bad. They just experience everything that happens to them very intensely, and tears help emotional release.
2. They are not necessarily introverted.
Introversion can go hand in hand with hypersensitivity, but this is not always the case. In fact, as Elaine Ayron discovered, 30% of hypersensitive people are extroverts. Often they require even more attention because they find it difficult to regulate their emotional state, they are more dependent on others and may experience a kind of intoxication from impressions.
3. They get nervous when they have to make a decision.
The ability to quickly and confidently make decisions is not the strongest feature of hypersensitivity. Even when it comes to such banal things as choosing a cafe for lunch. The reason is that they are very afraid of making the wrong choice: suddenly the food in the cafe will be too expensive, the music will be too loud, the waiters will ignore them, and their companion will not like it there.
4. They react to the slightest change.
“If you are used to ending messages with a smiley, but this time you put an end to it, be sure: we will definitely note this,” says Anna. “And we’ll probably start to get nervous.” Hypersensitives tend to be very sensitive to what's going on in their environment and instantly notice when things aren't going their way.
5. They are always ready to listen.
If you need a friendly shoulder, feel free to contact them. Hypersensitives can make small talk, but they do best in the role of an attentive listener. You can be sure that they will not interrupt you, will not become distracted and change the subject.
6. They hate noise and loud noises.
A high-speed train, car horns, overly sociable colleagues... All this not only annoys us - we suffer, as if every sound is driven into our heads with a hammer. According to Elaine Ayron, it's all about the reduced threshold of sensitivity, because of which any stimulus is felt more strongly.
7. Their work habits are quite unusual.
The ideal option is to work at home or in any quiet place. This allows you to focus and keep your nerves in order. “Hypersensitivity people are able to take advantage of their ability to observe,” says Elaine Ayron. “They have a knack for thinking about ideas and then presenting them in a way that will be taken seriously.” Their analytical skills and attentiveness to other people's comments make them excellent teammates (as long as they are not put in charge of making major decisions).
8. They don't like to tickle their nerves.
A horror movie or a thriller is not the best choice if you want to invite a hypersensitive person to the cinema. The tendency to empathize, combined with an increased susceptibility to emotionally charged images, can cause shock in them.
9. They don't take criticism well.
Avoidance of anything that can cause too much excitement, a hallmark of hypersensitivity. As a result, they try to do everything possible so that they themselves do not hurt the feelings of others and not cause their displeasure.
10. They take everything personally.
When communicating with hypersensitives, avoid ridicule. Of course, they themselves can love good jokes and try to relate to life with humor, but even the hint that something may be wrong with them makes them nervous.
11. They are very sensitive to pain.
Pain is also a kind of stimulation. Not surprisingly, hypersensitives perceive it more acutely. Elaine Ayron's research has confirmed that hypersensitive people have a low pain threshold, and the expectation of pain (for example, in the dentist's office) can make you feel pain even when no one touches them.
12. They dream about deep relationships.
Hypersensitives find it difficult to make new acquaintances. The stress of uncertainty, the expectation of possible awkwardness, the painful guessing of what the interlocutor is thinking, all this tires them. Hypersensitive people seek to find a reliable, empathetic partner with whom they can relax and who they can completely trust.
13. They can't change that about themselves.
Hypersensitivity is not just a whim or a lack of character. Elaine Eyron found that areas of the brain associated with empathy and cognition in hypersensitive people become more aroused when they are shown photographs of a face with traces of strong emotions. In other words, this behavior is biologically programmed.
If there is an oversensitive person in your environment, try to be sensitive to him. Most likely, he himself understands his own characteristics well, therefore he behaves carefully and considerately. But he expects understanding from you too.
Hypersensitivity
Hyperesthesia significantly expands the perception of the world and sharpens sensitivity. Such people are hypersensitive to light, sound, heat, cold and, especially, to excessive excitement. Often, for no apparent reason, they can scream: “Yes, turn off this TV! Nothing to watch!" Or: “Can someone close the window?”
Due to the subtlety of feelings, a person with hyperesthesia captures a lot of details, usually not noticeable to others. Tears of emotion can often be seen in their eyes, they quickly become irritated in stressful situations and, at the slightest injustice, rush into battle. They are sensitive to the tone, words, facial expressions, and gestures of the speaker. Because of this, they need clarifications. In their understanding, one word is not always synonymous with another, because each has its own shades. That is why they so often find fault with words.
People with hyperesthesia are very touchy, they are easily offended by any criticism, reproaches, ridicule, and if the interlocutor has some kind of ulterior motive, they will instinctively guess it.
It is very unpleasant when you receive a lot of information and at the same time come across a misunderstanding of loved ones who did not notice this. “No, you’re making everything up!” is the most common and offensive phrase that ultra-efficient people often hear as soon as they begin to share their impressions with someone.
The level of their interests, the quality of attention and the ability to feel involved in the world around them are directly proportional to their hyperesthesia.
In one interview, Amélie Nothombe explained to an intrigued journalist that she felt guilty for every catastrophe happening in the world. “As soon as there is an earthquake, war or famine, I get the impression that it is because of me, that it is also my fault.”
That is, any information deeply touches people with a super-efficient mind, because they feel part of the existing world. Like Amelie Nothombe, super-efficient people often take responsibility for everything bad that happens in the world, and also reproach themselves for being passive. As we will learn later, the thoughts of the super efficient are controlled by the right hemisphere. It is known that the right hemisphere is responsible for emotions and feelings. It can even be said that all information passes through the soul before reaching the brain. And if so, it is almost impossible to remain rational and cold. Emotions sweep over sensitive people like a sudden storm. Their mood is constantly changing, as if they are rushing on a roller coaster: sometimes they are overwhelmed by bouts of anger and rage, then there is a feeling of anxiety, then depression suddenly rolls over. But in the same way, they can be inspired, take off on a wave of euphoria and feel unspeakable joy.
This hypersensitivity creates many problems. To the feeling of one's own helplessness when it is necessary to control the situation, a misunderstanding of one's own mechanisms and disapproval from others is added. Because in our society, sensitive and emotional people are often considered weak, immature and impulsive, and therefore naive, stupid and reckless. Psychology immediately put a label on them, calling them "people in the borderline state."
If you belong to this group of people, sensitive and emotional, then you know all this very well! People around you constantly read morals to you and grumble, as if they were small children: “It's just stupid to cry or be indignant because of such nonsense. You don't have to take everything to heart. You have to be more flexible." In general, if you listen to these notations, criticisms and advice, which are endlessly poured out on hypersensitive people, you might think that in any life situation you must remain indifferent, indifferent and insensitive. So, is this the only solution to the problem?
Until quite recently, it was thought so. Only rational thinking, logic and dispassion were accepted as correct and reasonable. Emotions, on the other hand, were considered our enemies: they confuse and prevent us from making the right decision. Fortunately, recently a different opinion has appeared: we began to notice that emotions occupy an important place in the process of thinking and in decision-making. It is now customary to use the term EC (emotional quotient) to refer to this emotional mind. This EC shows the ability of the individual to control their impulses, individual motivation, empathy and the ability to find mutual understanding with other people. The super-efficient have a huge emotional potential, it not only fills them, but overflows, and they still do not know how to use it.
Of course, hypersensitive people, constantly feeling condemnation, listening to criticism and forced to be ashamed of themselves, have the most unfavorable opinion of themselves. In the meantime, let's try to imagine a world devoid of this hypersensitivity. No creativity, no empathy, no humor. The population, rational and able to exercise self-control, lives without the slightest warm human feelings. What will happen to humanity that is not able to resent, rebel and, most importantly, fall into enthusiasm, even stupid, but so contagious? Hypersensitivity is the real shadow power. Hypersensitivity is part of everything. If you are hypersensitive, then you are probably benevolent, altruistic and very cordial with those with whom you associate. But in relation to yourself, you are demanding and at any moment are ready to back down and laugh at yourself. The strength of your mind is openness, curiosity, sense of humor and innocence, lively and creative. And finally, your sense of fairness, directness, integrity and sincerity are second to none. The sooner you accept yourself for who you are, the better you will be able to use this incredible sensitivity. Because the key to using your own EC effectively is knowing yourself. As you understand yourself, you will understand and come to terms with your emotional storms. Your emotions will become your friends and guides.
This text is an introductory piece.Approximately every fifth individual is characterized by increased psychological vulnerability, and this applies not only to people. Higher vertebrates can also be divided into two groups - sensitive and coarser. The latter are determined and more willing to take risks. We humans are divided not only by gender, but also by belonging to one of two psychological types. And the difference between these types is often more significant than between the sexes.
Hypersensitivity is a phenomenon noticed by psychologists for a long time, but before it was called differently, for example, introversion. According to the American psychologist Elaine Eyron, who first described the features of a hypersensitive personality, she herself believed for some time that introversion and hypersensitivity were one and the same, until she found that 30% of hypersensitive people are extroverts.
“Hypersensitive individuals are called constrained, anxious or shy. These qualities can really manifest themselves if such people find themselves in an unusual environment, not finding support and help from others. However, it should be noted that, despite the difficulties that we experience in unusual conditions, in a familiar and peaceful environment, we are happier than everyone else.
That we are more difficult to tolerate unfamiliar environments and are happier in a calm atmosphere is scientifically proven: according to a study, children whose reaction to difficulties was sharply negative (that is, hypersensitive children) were more likely to get sick and make mistakes when they found themselves in a hostile environment. However, in a familiar peaceful environment, the same children got sick less often than the rest.
Observation and thoughtfulness
The nervous system of hypersensitive individuals is distinguished by a special sensitivity. We notice many nuances and analyze them deeper than everyone else. We have a rich imagination and vivid imagination, thanks to which even the most insignificant events of the surrounding reality encourage us to build hypotheses and draw conclusions. Thus, our internal "hard drive" fills up faster, and we experience overexcitation.
From an overabundance of impressions, I personally get the feeling that more information simply won’t fit into my head. When I communicate with unfamiliar people, a similar feeling can occur in about half an hour or an hour. I am quite capable of pulling myself together and carrying on a conversation, listening to the interlocutor and pretending that everything is as it should be. However, it takes a lot of strength for me, and afterwards I feel completely overwhelmed.
There is nothing wrong with overexcitation, but if you are hypersensitive, then in such a situation you will feel an overabundance of information earlier than ordinary people, which will cause a desire to withdraw and withdraw into yourself. You may recognize yourself in the description below. Eric says that when overexcited, he tries to hide and be alone with himself for a while, but secretly, because he is afraid that others will consider him arrogant, unsociable or withdrawn:
During big family celebrations - birthdays, for example, I often lock myself in the toilet, look in the mirror and wash my hands for a long time, thoroughly lathering them. But at this moment, someone is sure to pull the handle of the toilet door, and I have to leave my quiet and peaceful refuge. Once I decided to hide behind a newspaper - I sat in a corner, unfolded the newspaper, brought it closer to my face and closed my eyes, enjoying the peace. But my uncle, a well-known joker, quietly crept up to me, snatched the newspaper from my hands and announced loudly: “Aha! Here is our recluse and got caught! Everyone laughed, and I was ready to fall through the ground.
Eric, 48
You, as a hypersensitive person, are quickly tired not only by negative impressions - even when you are at a fun holiday, at a certain moment you seem to be oversaturated, and in the midst of the celebration you feel an acute desire to withdraw into yourself. At times like this, this shortcoming depresses us a lot, because most of the time we want to be as “hardy” as everyone else. Leaving the holiday before everyone else, we, firstly, feel embarrassed in front of the hosts, who beg us to stay. Secondly, we ourselves are sorry to leave the holiday and we are afraid to seem boring or ignorant to other guests.
The cause of increased excitability lies in our overly sensitive nervous system, but thanks to it we are able to experience genuine joy.
For example, those pleasant and calm impressions that arise when we listen to music or birdsong, look at pictures, inhale aromas, taste something tasty or admire a majestic landscape, awaken in us a feeling akin to inner jubilation. We are able to fully appreciate the beautiful, and this gives us incomparable pleasure.
sensitivity to sensations
If you are hypersensitive, you may find it difficult to distract yourself from extraneous sounds, smells, or visual stimuli. At times, sensations imposed from the outside drive you crazy. Sounds that people around you barely notice seem like a terrible noise that interferes with your concentration.
For example, on New Year's Eve, the sky, colored with fireworks, will surely delight you, which cannot be said about the explosions of firecrackers. It seems that these sounds penetrate every cell, play on the nerves, so on New Year's Eve and after it you are not yourself.
When I lecture or do therapy with hypersensitives, I ask the audience to share their best and worst experiences. Often, New Year's Eve falls into the list of the worst, and the reason for this is the explosions of firecrackers.
Supersensitive people are annoyed even by completely harmless sounds - for example, steps in an apartment from above. In addition, they are distinguished by a very sensitive sleep. From the outside, the hypersensitive seem to be very picky: in particular, they can not stand the cold and draft, so they try to avoid outdoor parties. A visit to the hairdresser sometimes turns into a real torture because of the harsh chemical odors. Visiting smokers, they also have a hard time. Even if the owner tries not to smoke in front of the guest, the smell of tobacco, eaten into the furniture and curtains, will certainly reach the sensitive nose. I was told about one poor fellow who even quit his job because his colleagues were constantly listening to the radio and it prevented him from concentrating.
Hypersensitive individuals are rare guests in a cafe where loud music is played or too crowded. It is generally difficult for highly sensitive people to find a cafe to their taste - especially if they are tired, hungry and not walking alone.
I'm so hard to please that sometimes I hate myself. Less fastidious do not even imagine how easy life is for them!
Susanna, 23 years old
As highly sensitive people, many things are not easy for us. Our pain threshold is lower than others, and therefore the hostility from the outside world hurts us much more.
Impressionability
Many hypersensitive natures admit that they hate quarrels and swearing. They can hardly stand it when others quarrel or are simply in a bad mood. However, this feature also has its advantages: we are able to be sensitive and responsive to the feelings of others. For this reason, we often choose professions that enable us to help others, and we often succeed in this endeavor.
Hypersensitive people who work in the healthcare system report that they often feel exhausted at the end of the working day. Due to our impressionability, excessive sensitivity and inability to abstract, we allow other people's experiences to influence us and therefore, when we come home, we still think about work.
If your work is connected with people, I advise you to take care of yourself, because stress leads to the most deplorable consequences.
I am often asked whether it is possible to get rid of excessive impressionability in oneself. Thanks to hypersensitivity, a person has peculiar invisible antennas that allow him to capture the mood of others. From time to time, I myself want to get rid of these antennae forever and thus cut off the endless stream of impressions.
I want to be blind, deaf and insensible. And although this is most likely impossible, any of us is quite capable of controlling our own perception.
If you feel that your friend or colleague is not happy with you, you can draw one of two conclusions: “He is angry with me. What did I do wrong? or "He just doesn't know how to solve his own problems, and that's why he's upset." By choosing the second way of reasoning, you will significantly reduce the degree of your own experiences. In chapter 8, I explain the relationship between feelings and thoughts in more detail.
Under favorable circumstances, excessive sensitivity brings certain benefits. So, psychologist and neurologist Susan Hart noted the following pattern:
Babies who are more responsive to their environment are more likely to respond to stimuli. If at the same time the child is surrounded by love and brought up in a calm environment, then he shows a greater interest in life and the ability to empathize, knows how to rejoice and more easily achieves a state of harmony with the outside world.
Susan Hart, 2009
Highly sensitive people who grew up in a favorable environment learn from childhood to see a certain advantage in their features. However, those who did not receive affection and love in childhood, having matured, can also learn to support themselves and manage their lives in such a way as to turn hypersensitivity into an advantage.
A responsibility
and conscientiousness
An experiment involving highly sensitive four-year-olds showed that such children were less likely to lie, break rules less often, and act selfishly less often, even when they thought no one was watching them. In addition, they solve moral dilemmas in a more socially responsible way.
Many highly sensitive individuals sometimes take responsibility for the whole world. Often, from a very early age, we catch discontent from others and do our best to correct the situation.
Feeling that my mother was unhappy with something, I was ready to do anything to help her, and came up with different ways to make her life easier. One day, for example, I decided that I would smile at everyone we met on the street - both acquaintances and strangers. I thought that in this case they would all decide that my mother is a real sorceress, because she managed to raise such a sweet child.
Hanna, 57 years old
Feeling disharmony, you immediately try to correct the situation and take control of the situation. For example, if someone is having an argument at a party, you patiently listen to the dissatisfied, try to console them, or suggest different ways to solve their problem. As a result, you soon get tired and leave the party, and former enemies forget about the quarrel and continue to have fun.
Responsibility is a good quality, but it is not useful in all situations. The main reason that does not allow you to remain indifferent is that other people's experiences greatly affect you and you begin to get nervous. On the other hand, taking responsibility for the whole world is pointless. By taking responsibility for something, you are depriving someone else of responsibility, who could do with learning to take responsibility for their own actions.
By learning to stay away from other people's quarrels, I certainly extended my life.
Egon, 62 years old
Highly sensitive individuals often consider themselves responsible for the bad mood of others and therefore try to be extremely delicate. Thick-skinned people are less likely to think about the consequences of their words and deeds, which often hurt highly sensitive people.
When talking to me, hypersensitive people often admit that an offensive or even just a careless statement they heard in their address completely unsettles them. They expect from others the same sensitivity that they themselves show, but in vain - most people are absolutely indifferent to the feelings of others. And it’s better to be prepared for this than to be horrified over and over again.
It is logical to assume that because of such scrupulousness, you slowly establish contact with other people, and often lose in disputes, because a witty answer comes to your mind only after a couple of days. I will make a reservation, however, that hypersensitive individuals not always are sensitive, sensitive and responsible. In a state of overexcitation, we become completely unbearable and are capable of rash acts.
