How to become successful, confident and confident in just five minutes happy man? Want to try?
You can quickly become more confident and significantly increase your self-esteem. The 3 main principles of self-confidence will help you with this. These are the advice of a well-known psychologist, relationship expert Irina Udilova.
1. The principle of "Translator"
The first of these is the principle of the “Translator”. The principle of the "Translator" is to, using, broadcast in your life, spread around you only those things, those values, those knowledge that you yourself are very pleased with. For example, of course, it is very important for you to receive respect, it is very important for you to live among people who appreciate you, love you, respect you, and even if they criticize you, they do it with love. Most important, most basic: be sure to distribute exactly what you most like. Do not talk about those things that make you sad, depressed, disappointed, throw you into some kind of state when you don’t want to do anything at all - your hands drop. Don't allow these things in your life. Be sure to broadcast, broadcast what you yourself really like. What we broadcast, we ourselves multiply in our lives. This is the magic wand that greatly affects your confidence, your success, how you feel.
2. Principle " Clay pots»
The second principle that will definitely allow you to become self-confident is the principle of "Clay Pots". It sounds, of course, tempting: what kind of pots? And it turns out that back in the nineties, American scientists conducted interesting experiment. They got two groups. One group was given the task: “Make pots as best you can more pots". And the second group was told: “Do good pots, quality, so that every pot is perfection. And what do you think was the outcome? Which group made the most quality pots? It turned out that there were more of them in the first group. Those people who did not bother, those people who acted, everything turned out much easier for them. And, of course, you also noticed that when you are in any creative process when you act, you have more energy, more joy. And when you doubt, measure, prepare, then tension and fear increase. The future result is constantly in my thoughts. And all doubts, fear, tension - this is what exactly prevents us from doing what we want in life, and doing it on good level. Remember that all the doubts, all the improvements, all the improvements that we usually really want to make in any business we do, are just marking time. We do not allow ourselves to act in this moment. And microsteps are your exact progress towards what you want, towards the goal that inspires you. Allow yourself to make mistakes, allow yourself to “walk”, act and enjoy it.
3. The principle of "Sufficiency"
And the third principle that will definitely allow you to become self-confident is the principle of “Sufficiency”. It is based on the principle of insufficiency, that everything will not be enough. This is our childhood. When we were little, we always wanted someone to give us something else: candy, sweets, attention. And in this position we always remain children. An adult knows for sure that right now he has everything he needs in order to improve his life, in order to help someone else. When a person gives, he has a feeling inside him that there is a lot of it, it is enough. And the more often you are in this position, the more effective you will be in your life, the more effective you will be in what you do for other people. With a sense of sufficiency, a feeling that you have enough of everything, you have the strength to share this with others. And this is what allows us to change our world in a radical way, allows us to contact each other, be useful to each other, unites the whole world.
And these were exactly those 3 principles that right now, within five minutes, will allow you to feel more confident, happier, because you have everything you need:
- You can broadcast those things that are important to you, valuable to you.
- You have your sufficiency.
- And the third is to sculpt pots, act and do it with pleasure, with joy.
This is what will affect your world and the world in general.
Be confident in yourself and everything in your life will be tip-top!
Artur Golovin
Interesting
Before we dive headlong into building true self-confidence, let's take a step back and try to understand what confidence is.
Confidence is knowing that what you own will eventually become what you want and make you happier. it necessary condition to turn an idea into action.
Confidence is the ability to believe in yourself when a big deal is coming up, raise your hand when it comes up. interesting project, or speak at a conference (and without any excitement!). Confidence is not a 100% guarantee that everything will always work out, but it helps you get out of your comfort zone, push your boundaries and set the course for success.
Statistics confirm that success has more to do with confidence than competence. So here are five steps to self-confidence.
1. Play confident
As strange as it may sound, but to learn to be truly confident, at first you can imitate confidence. AT wild nature some animals pretend to be brave in the face of danger. Pretend you too.
Self-hypnosis doesn't work. Our brain analyzes and compares our expectations with our experience and real life situation. If these two aspects do not match, the brain gets out of control and you begin to experience stress. Anxiety and negative thoughts appear, due to which all self-confidence disappears. So how can we be?
Better prepare for an exciting situation, rehearse in front of a mirror (pay attention to both tone of voice and facial expressions) and look at others positively, enjoy communicating with them. This will give the brain “reason enough” to believe that our positive attitude corresponds to a favorable external situation, and confidence will appear by itself.
2. Remember that you expect more from yourself than others from you.
The good news is that the whole world will believe what you show. Thank God, no one can read your thoughts, know about fears and anxiety.
The bad news: you can misinterpret any sideways glance, any random word, any reaction of people to your actions, and then worry about this (far-fetched) reason.
In this case, psychologists recommend listening to your inner voice (do not be scared ahead of time, no one is going to persuade you to engage in self-hypnosis). Do a little experiment: for one week, write down what thoughts are spinning in your head (exact wording) when you lack self-confidence.
By simply recording and analyzing your inner dialogue, you will be one step closer to reducing and hopefully eliminating such thoughts entirely.
In addition, it is useful to write down and keep at hand a list of your achievements, experiences, events that made you feel significant, confident, understand that your actions are beneficial.
Every time your inner voice gets out of hand, take a three-minute break, pick up a list, and remind yourself how good you can be. Present your brain with tangible evidence when you need extra reassurance.
3. Keep track of your physical condition
I understand it's a cliché to say that you need to take care of your health, but this cliché didn't appear out of nowhere. Have you ever wondered why everyone without exception successful leaders Do you exercise regularly? If you overwork, eat fast food, sleep little, and lead a largely sedentary lifestyle, it becomes harder to show the world best version myself.
You don't have to train until you drop for hours a day: a 30-minute walk from work to home or climbing the stairs to the 10th floor can be enough to release endorphins. Start with small changes in your habitual way of life, gradually get used to them.
Difficulties and, accordingly, stress must be added to your life in very small portions. You need to circle yourself around your finger so that both physical and mental health are in balance.
4. Increase returns, change your internal dialogue
Do you know why most people's communication skills leave a lot to be desired? Because they are in their own thoughts. Instead of focusing on their interlocutor and demonstrating their disposition, they think how not to blurt out nonsense and what would be so smart to say next. main reason behavior: they are poorly prepared.
It is almost impossible to be truly confident in yourself if you are not prepared enough to show yourself with better side. Think about the people you are talking to. What do they really want? What's stopping them? How can you help them?
If you focus on helping your interlocutor, you will get rid of anxiety and get the same genuine interest in response.
This method is worth using to promote your services or if you want to impress at any event.
Spend time researching materials on the topic and your audience. Every hour spent on this activity will bring a disproportionate result. And what happens when you get a positive response? You guessed it - you'll gain lasting, genuine self-confidence.
5. Fail fast, fail often
A terrifying word that paralyzes even outstanding people and prevents them from achieving success - failure. It especially haunts those who are perfectionists by nature and are chronically afraid of doing something wrong.
But failures in our life happen, it's just inevitable. In fact, if you are not mistaken, then you are not learning anything new. Remember Ramit Seti's saying more often: "It's not a failure - it's a test."
You're just checking that it won't work. And when you know this, you can move on and find ways that will lead to the desired result.
And most importantly: once you come to your senses after another "failure", you realize that you do not feel empty. After all, it is this experience that helps you face your fears and achieve your goals in the future.
Yes, this is an excellent quality that allows you to positively, but realistically evaluate yourself in any situation. As a rule, it is not given to a person from birth, but is brought up in oneself by scrupulous work. However, it is worth noting that self-confidence does not miraculously arise overnight. One desire for this is not enough, you have to work hard. Your goal is to understand that you are worthy of respect and love.
How to Gain Self-Confidence in 12 Steps
How to gain self-confidence quickly
Psychologists recommend doing sports or enrolling in a dance studio for this. The fact is that sport contributes to the synthesis of hormones of happiness - endorphins, develops coordination of movements, grace, and positively affects the figure. Together, this contributes to self-esteem.
How to Gain Self-Confidence with Psychological Coaching
Now there are a lot of trainings for all occasions. We are also interested in personal growth trainings or even a banal pickup - they teach you how to effectively interact with others, accept yourself as you are, and look positively at the world.
How to gain confidence while playing
Popular now role-playing and are also an excellent simulator for such purposes. Ideal, perhaps, would be spontaneous theater: it teaches you to show your emotions, express yourself, behave in various, sometimes completely unpredictable life situations. Even the famous game "Mafia" teaches how to gain self-confidence, because within its framework a person tries on new roles and learns to be natural.
How to Gain Self-Confidence: Shock Therapy
If you are special enough create for yourself stressful situations, forcing you to constantly be in the spotlight, interact with strangers. Soon this situation will become familiar to you.
Self-confidence is not a combination of some skills, but a state of mind that exists in each of us - you just need to discover it in yourself.
How difficult and long way you need to walk in order to educate and grow it in yourself?
I wonder how faith in one's own strength and trust in one's own personality begins? Your opinion?
It turns out that confident behavior is the result of confident thinking. How a person presents himself, so he looks. And he acts on the basis of internal installations, self-image.
How to become confident?
You can start with the simplest thing - to portray a confident person in any life situations. In the supermarket, in the pool, on the street, among colleagues, in the subway. Here the well-known law of the transition of quantity into qualitative changes will work. You will show more, with each action you will become more confident. Step, one more, next. And the process has begun! With every step better, more natural, more persistent.
So you can outsmart your thinking, fixated on patterns. You can easily and unobtrusively rebuild, imagining yourself as an actor who selflessly and talentedly plays a role. You decide when to release the actor on stage, when to turn the "switch" to turn it off. You are in complete control of the situation. We decided that at the party you will be embarrassed - there will be strangers, so go ahead. Feel good! With all my might! Tired? Flip the "switch" - choose confident behavior, communicate on an equal footing, with dignity and self-respect.
How to look confident?
Absolutely in the history of your life there were moments when you were confident person.
Remember them.
Perhaps in childhood, when you helped your little sister fasten her sandals, or at school, when you recited a learned poem with pleasure. Or in your youth, when you won in sports.
Or in situations where you were among close and dear people, when you spoke to an audience or talked with some person.
Reproduce in your memory the intonations, how you spoke, how you breathed, how you moved, how you gesticulated, what position were you in? How did the voice sound, what did the face express, what were the sensations?
Now, in order to “turn on” a confident person in yourself, repeat all this, copy the posture, pace and volume of speech, gestures - enter the desired state. There is no need to invent anything, you have already been in this place - in the body, you were such a person, now you remember this and make it your natural state.
When you are self-confident, others perceive your dignity, self-confidence, self-respect. And they strengthen you even more in these feelings.
- Space. A confident person settles well in space. Fully occupy the proposed chair or armchair, lean back, use the armrests. Make broad gestures, on a grand scale, expanding your area of influence. Differ from the insecure, who, on the contrary, seeks to shrink, shrink, occupy as much as possible less space, sit on the edge of a chair, limited to mean gestures.
- No fuss. Is there a model of a confident person for you? Who is it? Margaret Thatcher? Angelina Jolie? Ivan Urgant? Sylvester Stallone? Or someone else? Imagine your ideal, which nervously bounces in a chair, fidgets, intensely fiddling with a tie, pounding a drum roll with his fingers on the table. Yes, it's hard to imagine. Confidence is incompatible with vanity. Take her away.
- Straight posture. In any position, standing and sitting, maintain an even posture. It allows you to radiate confidence, feel it and look like a confident person. Practice: chest forward, shoulders back, keep your head level and horizontal. vertical plane. Imagine that a string comes out of your crown and pulls you into the sky. Remember this posture and merge with it.
- The pace of speech. When someone chatters, speaks quickly, it is difficult for him to be confident and independent. A confident person speaks with feeling, with sense, with an arrangement, without tension. He knows that he will not be interrupted, he will be allowed to speak. The pace of speech is average, smooth. Take it as a rule, the more you worry, get nervous, the slower and calmer you speak, pause. Speak as if you are communicating with a child and it is important for you that he understands you.
- Me, me and me again. Speak in the first person. Use phrases: I think, I think, I decided, I found out, I support, I disagree, I think differently. Feel free to express exactly your opinion, do not hide behind the streamlined and impersonal “we”, “all”, “joint decision”, “everyone”. Avoid excuses!
- Eye contact. A confident person shifts the focus from themselves to others. He is not fixated on himself, he is interested in the interlocutor and the world around him. Therefore, a direct open look is very important and helps to be confident, makes people understand your interest. In communication, you connect not only your hearing, but also an additional channel of perception, “listen with your eyes”, perceive and understand the interlocutor more clearly.
- Dignity. Take the example of the king of beasts, the lion. What plasticity, strength and power he has in his movements. Slowly, with dignity, confidently, elegantly. To be more confident, slow down your movements. Move like a king. Your movements should be smooth, meaningful, thoughtful, unhurried.
- Acceptance of yourself and others. Be calm, friendly and benevolent, even if the interlocutor does not agree with you or you with him. Believe in yourself, in your point of view. Yours doesn't make people think the same way you do. Yours is to be respected.
- Gesture of a confident person - spire gesture. Fingertips of one hand touch the tips of the other hand acute angle, forming a spire. This is a signal of confidence and calmness. Use it like additional way confident behaviour.
- Don't try to please everyone. You need to be good, first of all, for yourself. Your confidence should not depend on how, when and how they evaluate and accept you.
- Pauses. Insecure people are afraid of silence, they are afraid of silence and quickly break it. You do not need to "get out of your skin" to fill every second, albeit meaningless, but chatter. Pause before answering. small. One or two seconds. Think about what you heard, what the interlocutor wanted to convey to you. This will give you confidence and help you master the situation in communication.
- Laugh. Don't giggle. You are not in the circus. Giggling is a sign of insecurity and instability. Appreciate good jokes: smile or laugh quietly.
- Nodding disease. If you listen to the interlocutor and agree with him, you don’t need to continuously nod your head - you are not a “Chinese dummy”. You are a serious, confident person. A couple of head tilts in agreement are sufficient.
- Secret and obvious. Being in any situation: in or with people, in the rays of the sun or in the dark - do not do what you will be ashamed of in front of you. Act in accordance with your principles, do not prevaricate, and she will reward you with the foundation of the foundations on which self-confidence and high self-confidence will be kept.
- I don't know and I'm not afraid. If you want to be trusted, never be afraid to admit that you don't know something. “I have not yet faced such a challenge. Right now I don't have an answer to that question." It is impossible to know everything. Realize this and speak boldly about what you do not know. This will help you further build your confidence.
Friends, everyone has absolutely everything they need in order to be sure, starting today, from this moment. You do not need to read additional literature for this, make an appointment with a psychologist, or undergo trainings. Just decide to be a confident person, flip the switch and turn it on new personality. Good luck!
Video for you "Confidence is the key to victory."
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Mark Twain
There is no such person who would not want to be self-confident, because confidence plays a very important role in our life, it depends on what our life will be - successful or unsuccessful. You know this very well, and I know it, therefore, despite the articles already on this site devoted to this issue, I return to it again and plan to return in the future until all my materials help you, dear readers, gain confidence in yourself. Together we will achieve success with you in this business! You will definitely become a very self-confident person, and then many doors will open before you, you will begin to live a full life, you will be able to realize many of your dreams and desires, you will fully realize yourself and become a happy person.
There are many ways to become a confident person that I wrote about earlier and not only me. All of them in one way or another need attention to themselves, they all need to be worked out. But there are ways that more than others have a positive impact on a person’s self-confidence, and in this article we will talk about one of these ways. We'll talk about the most, perhaps, important way self-confidence - about our victories and successes, which each of us should strive for. A successful person, a winner, will always be confident in himself, because he will feel his strength, thanks to his successes and victories. And success and victory, in turn, will depend on confidence, thanks to which a person can achieve his goals in spite of any difficulties. In general, friends, you and I need to understand all these relationships so that you know exactly what and why you need to do in order to gain confidence.
First of all, a person needs to learn how to properly relate to his failures, defeats, mistakes, mistakes, he needs to learn to understand them. His ability to achieve success in various matters will depend on this. After all, it is through failures, defeats and mistakes that the path to success lies. And in order to overcome this path, you need to be able to withstand the blows of fate and not give up. Then success is inevitable. But it is difficult, especially for people with weak character. If a person constantly fails in various things, his self-confidence will fall. This is natural, natural and quite normal, since any failure shows a person his weakness and inability to live, therefore he cannot rely on himself, cannot believe in himself, in himself and in his strength. But he must understand that if he does not give up and continues to fight, then his perseverance and perseverance will sooner or later be crowned with success, it is they who will allow him to win and come to success. Therefore, difficulties must either be overcome, if there is strength for it, or, if they cannot be overcome, then you need to bypass and bend around them, and for this you need to be smart enough, flexible, prudent, cunning person. So it is quite possible to compensate for a weakness of character with a mass of other qualities, but first these qualities need to be developed in oneself. This whole thing is acquired, you can make a winner out of any person, I am absolutely sure of this. The main thing is to find an approach to each person. Remember that winners are not born, they are made. And self-confidence is not a gift from God, but a consequence proper development person. It is important to understand that never and under no circumstances should one give in to difficulties, one must fight, one must look for opportunities, one must endure until at least an insignificant achievement is achieved. positive result which instills in a person hope and faith in the ultimate success. Therefore, learning the ability to overcome difficulties and achieve your goals - you need to start with small victories, but at the same time, it is desirable to ensure that they are regular, then the degree of confidence in a person will slowly but surely grow.
If a person succeeds in life, if he wins, his self-confidence grows, he trusts himself, he sees his strength, sees his possibilities, sees his adaptability to life, and even sees and feels his superiority over other people. It's important for us too, that's who we are. So in order to become a self-confident person, you need to learn how to win, you need to begin to achieve success in various matters, primarily related to the satisfaction of a person's natural needs. This is very important point which must be taken into account - I mean the importance of a person's satisfaction of his natural needs. The point is that you can be successful person, the winner, in some insignificant for real life affairs, but these small victories, this dubious success, will not make a person truly confident in himself. Of course, he will gain some self-confidence from minor successes, especially if he gives them great importance, but the further these successes are from real life, from real human needs, the weaker this confidence will be.
For example, a person, let it be a man, can be a very good chess player who constantly beats everyone at chess, and he can be considered a successful person, a winner, but only in the game of chess. Of course, success in this game will give this man self-confidence, but if at the same time he has serious problems with money, if he does not have a beloved woman, if other men whom he could consider his friends do not communicate with him - he will feel extremely insecure, and in especially difficult cases - a complete loser. The thing is that failures in more important matters for life and the inability of a person to satisfy his natural needs, as a rule, have a much stronger effect on his psyche than success, even very large, in less important matters. However, there are exceptions that only confirm this rule. Therefore, friends, you need victories like air, but in such matters that are related to real, and not to virtual, imaginary life. Of course, you should start with small victories, with small successes in small but important things for life, gradually striving for bigger and bigger peaks. And you should always remember that life does not consist of victories alone, there is a place in it for defeats, failures, mistakes, which sometimes happen very often. And if you do not treat them with understanding, you will never come to success, in vain avoiding defeats and failures leading to it. This means that you will not be able to gain confidence in yourself.
How to learn to win important victories for life in order to increase self-confidence with their help, and how not to be afraid of failures, mistakes, mistakes, defeats that stand in the way of success? This task, in fact, is not easy, as it requires an individual approach to each specific person who needs to be taught to win in order to instill in him a taste for victories, for success. For its implementation, it is necessary to take into account personality traits man and his life story. After all different people according to strength different tasks, someone needs to start with small victories, someone can do more difficult things, and someone can immediately aim at great achievements. Everyone has their own possibilities.
When I help people gain self-confidence, I study their lives and themselves very carefully, starting from childhood. This allows me to develop for each person an individual recipe for success, guided by which they are guaranteed to win in matters that are truly significant for their lives, taking into account their desires and needs. If a person is poor, I help him improve his financial situation; if he is lonely, I help him find friends and a soul mate, and so on. In general, I help a person win where he needs to win. At the same time, we start the path to success with him from the very first steps that he can take, from the smallest, but very important victories. Thanks to small victories, which later grow into big victories, people gradually grow in self-confidence, and therefore they themselves, without anyone's help, achieve success in a variety of things, thereby increasing their confidence.
So, to put it simply, you need victories to increase your self-confidence, and not in some unimportant things for life, but in serious ones, in important matters, which are directly related to your basic needs, and only then to all your desires. But to come to these victories is sometimes not easy if there is no clear action plan that takes into account the current capabilities of a person. It is not so easy to succeed in a business in which you need to be able to show your strongest qualities and get around other people who also want to be the first, want to be the best, want to be winners. Therefore, an individual program for achieving success is needed, and in those cases in which it is easier for each individual person to succeed at the first stage. Self-confidence should grow gradually, by overcoming a person of various difficulties and obstacles that he is able to overcome. But the big and quick successes that some people are able to achieve mainly only due to a fortunate combination of circumstances, most often make them overly self-confident and inadequately evaluating themselves and their capabilities by people, and then, for a short time, since external circumstances are constantly changing, and along with them, the self-confidence of those who depend on these circumstances and rely on them also changes. Therefore, you need to learn to go to success yourself, and not wait for it to come to you.
An important role in the issue of self-confidence is also played by a person’s attitude to the victories and successes already existing and previously available in his life, which must be able to recognize and highlight against the background of everything else. People usually remember the bad better than the good, they remember their failures, they remember insults, they remember the evil that was in their life. But good things are often forgotten by them, successes, especially if there were few of them, are also forgotten, but at the same time, our self-confidence is based precisely on them - on our successes and victories. Let you make a hundred mistakes, but you will succeed the hundred and first time - it is this one hundred and first time that you should add to your asset, it is about it that you need to remember all your life, it is it that you need to use as a moral support in solving your current and future tasks and problems, and while overcoming various difficulties. If you know that you can, that you are capable, that you can solve any problems and succeed in any business, because you have already managed to do this before, then you will definitely solve your problems, you will definitely succeed and your self-confidence will inevitably increase. . Our past victories and achievements are our strength. We do not need to pump our psyche with all sorts of nonsense, because of which a person imagines himself to be a kind of superman who is capable of anything, we just need to be aware of our strength and focus our attention on it.
Your self-confidence, friends, is your shield from any difficulties and hardships, and also, this is your energy needed to achieve success in life. Therefore, you need to build it piece by piece, or even grains of sand, depending on the characteristics of your life. Victories lead a person to self-confidence, and self-confidence leads him to even greater victories, thus multiplying himself. Learn to win, learn to bypass and overcome all sorts of obstacles, depending on your capabilities, learn to see in yourself strong man who you can trust. And do not try to let yourself down - if you have given yourself a word to do something - do it, and always be sure to bring all your affairs to the end. Otherwise, you will not be able to trust yourself, which means you will not be able to believe in yourself.
