Ask the offender to stop. Of course, this is more difficult than it sounds, but you can keep a few simple gestures or phrases in reserve to apply if you feel that you are being harmed.
- Raise your hands up, creating a barrier between you and the offender, like a policeman who forces you to stop.
- Say something short that conveys your dissatisfaction, such as "Please stop and let me work" or "Stop talking, please." This will help you face the behavior with confidence and give you confidence if it continues.
- Never escalate bullying. Yelling back hurtful words or screaming back can end up getting you in trouble and making things worse. Speak in a calm, collected voice and ask the person to stop, as if you were talking to a dog chewing on a slipper.
Write down all situations when you were humiliated. Write down the offender's name and the way they were humiliated. Record the times, dates, places, or names of any witnesses to this behavior. Provide and collect as much information as possible. Collecting documentation is the most important and most effective means to stop the harasser when you have to contact your superiors or a lawyer.
- Even if you're not sure you've been bullied, writing down your feelings in a journal can help you express your feelings and understand what you're up against. As a result of writing down your feelings and upsets, you may decide that there is no oppressor, or that you should seriously consider taking action.
Let you have witnesses. Talk to employees when you feel like you are being harassed and make sure they support you in your allegations. Have them write it down for future reference. Choose someone who works at the same time as you or whose workplace is close to yours.
- If the bullying occurs at a certain time or place, have your witness be close to the place where the bully will be harassing you. Take your colleague with you to meetings with management that oppresses you. You will have support in case things get worse and you have to testify.
- If you are being bullied, chances are others are being bullied as well. Team up and help each other deal with a common enemy.
Keep calm and wait. Make sure you have the facts and that you are calm and professional. Visiting your boss in the heat of the moment can make you look like a whiner or show that you're overreacting when he has a bigger problem. If you are calm, you will be more accurate, create a better impression of yourself, and have more opportunities to improve the working environment.
- Let a night pass between the situation of resentment and the report of this to the boss. If you're being bullied between work, or if you have to wait to talk to your boss, try to avoid the bully. Stay calm and keep doing what you were doing. If you're expecting bullying, you're ready for it to begin.
Make an appointment with your manager or HR representative. Bring written evidence, bring witnesses, and present the problem in a calm tone. Practice what you will say before you come and tell everything. Keep your complaints short and to the point, fill out whatever documentation the management gives you.
- Don't suggest any action until your boss asks about it. In other words, it is unacceptable to say to the boss: "Vasily needs to be fired because he is mocking me." State your situation firmly and back it up with incriminating evidence, saying, “I am hurt by his behavior and I no longer have the ability to deal with it. So I thought you should know about it." Let your leadership itself come to the right conclusions about the course of events.
- If you are being bullied by management, contact social services or your superiors. This is not an army, and there is no chain of command. Talk to someone who can fix the problem.
Go on. If the bullying continues, and nothing is sorted out or done to stop it, you have the right to go even higher by talking to an even higher-ups, HR manager, or HR representative. Continue until your complaint is taken seriously and the situation improves, allowing you to work in a healthy environment.
- It's a good idea to come up with a set of options to help you sort things out. If your manager's boss doesn't want to fire him, but admits bullying took place, would you like to transfer? Would you like to work from home? What would make the situation “right” from your point of view? Choose valid alternatives for yourself.
- If you have provided evidence and nothing has changed, or the situation has gotten worse, consult a lawyer and seek legal assistance. Submit required documents and demand legal action.
These conclusions are alarming, but one can hardly argue with them. Many workers with some work experience will certainly confirm this observation.
If an employee has a low level of self-esteem and self-esteem, does not receive support from colleagues and feels unable to control the situation, then he is more likely to be subjected to aggression from management and higher-ranking employees. It can be nit-picking, accusations and even insults. A bad leader terrorizes the weakest.
The desire to lash out at those who cannot stand up for themselves increases if the leader himself is in an unpleasant situation. However, even in stressful periods, bosses do not attack everyone, but only the weakest employees.
An employee with low self-esteem is unable to directly fight back. But he begins to treat work formally, stops trying, is not interested in the affairs of the team and the company as a whole.
A similar situation at work is a vicious practice that does not lead to a successful outcome for anyone. Each participant could change the scenario of their behavior, but does not. The boss continues to “eat” the weak, the victim is still unable to fight back, and third parties who prefer not to interfere.
If you are the boss
If you are the boss, look at yourself and be honest: is your behavior taking out evil on someone who cannot fight back? Has this attitude towards weak team members become a daily practice?To realize is to take the first step in the right direction. Next, you should think - what are the constructive ways to solve the problem? How to overcome your own frustration without taking it out on your subordinates? And if you realize that the cause of disappointment lies outside of work, then all the more such reflections will benefit you.
If you are worried about your own uncertain position, then you should resolve this issue directly with your boss, without disrupting subordinates.
After that, it is worth thinking about the fate of a weak employee. You don't need helpless people. Fire him or transfer him to another department. If this employee is valuable, has rare skills, or your customers like it, then it makes sense to keep him, but help him succeed - increase his self-esteem and build relationships with colleagues.
Your behavior, intonation and words in relation to this subordinate made it clear to other employees that this person can be neglected. If you try to analyze your behavior, then most likely, during the dialogue, you deviate from him with your whole body and do not look into his eyes. Now try to become more friendly in communicating with him, gradually adjust your behavior, body language, choose words. Be more open with him.
If you are a victim
If you tolerate your boss's constant nagging, learn to fight back. Who suffers, but is silent and smiles, provokes even more aggression against him. Realize - most likely, your boss himself is experiencing stress, that is, you are not to blame for his behavior. But since you never hit back, he likes to come off on you, splashing out his negativity.
Let your boss know that you no longer intend to be the scapegoat. Be polite but firm, such as "I think we can sort this out without raised tones" or "Everything we discussed on Wednesday is in my report that I sent you." If you need support from colleagues, then turn to them: “Pavel, we discussed this approach, express your opinion too.”
What definitely should not be done is to work carelessly. Yes, you are treated ugly, you are not respected, but you should not give your boss a good reason for such an attitude. Any time you feel like giving a damn about work, channel that energy into something worthwhile or a fruitful conversation.
If you are a third party
If you are witnessing a destructive relationship between a subordinate and a boss, you should not remain indifferent. Start taking action. Silently watching a colleague being bullied is the same as doing nothing when a child is being bullied. As the statistics of the study showed, most often those who do not have outside support are humiliated.Help your colleague with advice and support. If you believe that he is able to improve his reputation, then tell him how to achieve this. If the boss attacks a subordinate during a general meeting, try to stop him. For example, if the boss doesn’t let you speak and interrupts a weak colleague all the time, offer to listen to him: “I’m interested in Masha’s opinion.” And if the boss criticizes and blames, feel free to disagree.
Anyone can change the unhealthy environment in the team if he himself starts to behave differently. It takes courage to change something - but it's worth it.
Unfortunately, quite often in the workplace there is a situation where a simple employee is forced to listen to the director's strict remarks addressed to him. Conflicts happen systematically and arise for any reason. It seems that the leader is annoyed by the mere presence of a subordinate. Sometimes his caustic comments appear from scratch for no apparent reason and look like nitpicking. Many office workers suffer resentment from their boss for years and are in no hurry to somehow change the situation. Some seem futile to defend their interests, others frankly fear the occurrence of adverse consequences in the future. What to do when you see that the boss is looking for an excuse to hurt you? How to behave?
Reasons for nitpicking
This is the first thing to find out. In some cases, you can ask a person in plain text why is he so attentive to your person? Perhaps you are just annoying him as a person. If it turns out that he is dissatisfied with the work you are doing, ask him to justify his answer. Let him back it up with real facts. But not all directors and managers will want to speak frankly. In this case, watch it for a few days and much of what was not noticed before will now become clear. You can answer your own question: why did he choose you as a target for venting anger and irritation.
Negative emotions tend to gradually accumulate and spoil a person's life. Something needs to be done to change the situation. Love yourself and do not allow yourself to be undeservedly offended. Remember: no one will take care of you if you don't do it yourself. At work, the situation is quite common when directors are dissatisfied with the work of their subordinates. Such discontent can eventually turn into constant quarrels and resentments. Such behavior immediately affects the productivity of labor and the entire team. Do your best to understand the true reasons for nitpicking in your address and correct this situation.
Analysis of your activities
Quite often it happens that a person, being at the workplace, does not notice his mistakes and mistakes. Sometimes we tend to overestimate our efforts. Especially in the case when we work at an unloved job. Doing what we do not like, we inevitably doom ourselves to painful torment and suffering. Think about whether this is really the activity that you always wanted to do? Have you turned into an office slave who obeys all the orders of the boss, but has absolutely no ambitions of his own? Have you ended up becoming a downtrodden and boring creature?
To understand whether the attitude of the director is fair or not, it is necessary to carefully analyze the work and your approach to it. Perhaps you belong to those employees who like to spend a long time in the “smoking room” or linger significantly after lunch? Please reconsider your own attitude to work, and then much will become clear to you. Strange as it may seem, sometimes the leader's reproaches are the most just. Become a model of responsibility, do everything that is entrusted to you in advance.
Admitting mistakes
If you find your faults, have the courage to admit them. You don't have to keep doing the same. This does not mean that you should immediately run to report to your boss about your thoughts, just try not to make such mistakes again. Make a definite decision for yourself and follow the set goal. Remember that only truly strong people can recognize failures and mistakes. Be open to change, strictly follow the tasks that you yourself have identified. The boss, if he is a smart person, will definitely pay attention to the changes that have taken place. Enthusiasm in work is immediately visible and felt at a distance. You don't need to do anything special, just review your working time and what you spend it on.
Showdown
If the boss finds fault seriously, then for a comfortable existence in the team it is necessary to thoroughly understand the situation. Sometimes the leader and the subordinate do not understand each other so much that they do not even want to hear about trying to understand the motives of other people's actions. It is worth going to the boss in the office and try to find out what exactly he is dissatisfied with. Let me justify my answer. If he manages to do this, then you will be able to continue to behave much more confidently and freely. There is nothing worse than making assumptions and constantly being stressed. Try, however, that the clarification of your relationship is not watched by the whole team. The boss will appreciate your delicacy. During the conversation, be sure to find out all the questions that interest you, try not to hurt the feelings of the leader and not provoke him into a quarrel. Otherwise, mutual understanding will not be achieved.
Search for a new job
When you have made appropriate efforts to reach agreement with your boss, but they have not brought the desired result, the only way out is to leave your current job. Really, why torture yourself? You should never tolerate rudeness, disrespectful attitude, humiliation of your personality. You never know what kind of boss it can be, this in no way justifies his harsh swear words. He just has no right to treat employees like that. A good leader will never allow himself offensive comments and statements about his subordinates, especially in the presence of strangers.
You should start looking for a new job when you have exhausted all possible ways to negotiate peacefully with your boss, if he cannot control himself, constantly breaks down and screams. You need to minimally respect your personality in order to decide on changes. Take full responsibility. Realize, finally, that you yourself are able to change a lot in life. Remember that no one can take better care of you. You can start by keeping notes in a personal diary about what is happening to you, this will help you sort out the existing problems.
Thus, there are often situations in life when subordinates have to defend their interests before superiors. Cases when the leader undeservedly finds fault and tries in every possible way to humiliate, unfortunately, are not uncommon. You need to act as honestly and openly as possible in order to understand the reasons why they do this to you. Under no circumstances allow yourself to be humiliated.
In this article, you will find answers to basic questions and learn how to behave if the boss finds fault.
So, for that? to determine exactly how to deal with the boss, you need to find out what type he belongs to. In fact, a picky boss can be different. For example, there is a category of outright tyrants. Such a person finds fault as if he is a naughty kid who likes to test your patience. Such a boss will never stop himself. The fact is that he, in his own way, is a sadist who really loves torturing his subordinates. Therefore, you should never hope that he will stop himself. Such a person finds fault with his own pleasure and rejoices when you are angry or upset.
There are also two-faced managers who at first constantly tell you what a good worker you are, encourage and smile. And then, when you don’t expect it at all, they start blaming you for mistakes that you didn’t make or they load you with their work.
Remember that if the boss does not know how to behave adequately, then the reason for this is his own problems and complexes. Such people like to constantly control everything, follow everything, scream for no reason. Remember that, even giving a worthy rebuff to such people, you may not always be able to immediately bring the boss to his senses. In fact, it is very bad when a person who does not have the necessary professional qualities becomes a chef. In this case, the whole team suffers a lot. It often happens that subordinates of just such leaders abuse alcohol. It's just that human nerves cannot stand such an attitude and behavior of the boss.
But, be that as it may, you can fight with such people and teach them to behave correctly. So, after you have decided what type of boss yours is, mentally prepare yourself for changing your relationship with him. Remember that no matter what your boss is, he is not the only one to blame for what is happening. Every long conflict is provoked by both sides. And right now, you are one of those parties. Therefore, try to understand why the boss is so prejudiced against you, chat with other colleagues. Perhaps one of them knows the right approach to your managing nutcase. Of course, this is not about flattery and “slurping”. It is better not to consider such options. But, perhaps, someone knows the features of the boss, which can be used to change his attitude.
It is also necessary to correctly adjust your behavior so that the boss understands that you are ready and want to cooperate with him. The conflict situation does not suit you and you are making efforts to somehow fix it. Try to talk to your boss about how you can make the most of your collaboration. Talk to him only in a friendly tone. Especially if before that you were constantly angry and cursing. The boss will be surprised by such a sharp change in your mood and attitude. And, as you know, surprised people rarely get angry.
Also, no matter what happens, always try to be calm and cool. If you are arguing with your boss, never say: "I suffer from your behavior." It is better to say: "You gave the task at the wrong time and you are to blame." Thus, the boss will understand that you are on the defensive and are not going to give up your positions. Therefore, he himself will have to start thinking about how to change the current situation and fix everything. Thus, the conflict will be resolved from two sides. And that is exactly what you need.
If you cannot solve some work issue without the help of your boss, contact him. But, you must do it in such a way that he understands: you have come to a complete stranger and you don't care what he thinks of you. Simply, in this situation, he really is the most professional adviser.
You should never behave like in a kindergarten, try to shout down the boss or beat him in a verbal skirmish. By this you prove only your unprofessionalism and inability to get out of conflicts in the way that it should be for an adult. Instead of yelling, it's best to calm down and start speaking normally. If the boss sees your composure, he himself will shut up, because shouting alone is simply stupid.
Never endure in silence the reproaches of the boss. Each of us has friends at work, or at least good acquaintances. Here you can calmly talk with them about what does not suit you in the boss, talk about what he once again told you and what is now oppressing you. But at home, work issues are better not to discuss. The fact is that households will never understand you the way employees do, because they do not see everything with their own eyes and do not fully understand the question. Therefore, it is better to leave work questions and problems at work.
Sometimes, in extreme cases, you can ask for help from higher management. But in such cases, you need to be sure that you will not aggravate your situation and you will not be considered a gossip. Therefore, in such cases, you need to be very careful and think twice before making a decision.
But if you still can’t resolve the conflict and you feel how your performance is falling and your strength is leaving, then you can think about moving to another department or changing your job. Of course, this is the last option, but sometimes it’s better to agree to it so as not to completely break your psyche and spoil your nerves.
What to do if the boss constantly finds fault? Loads you with work for which he does not pay a decent salary? What to do if the boss is stupid and arrogant? What to do if every day brings a headache, and the work exhausts all the forces so that literally no legs go to it? What to do if the boss does not appreciate you and all your attempts to build a career do not work?
Let's try to understand and find answers to these questions.
Everyone is well aware of the phrase “I am the boss, you are a fool”, which many treat with a certain amount of humor, but only until they experience all its cruel truth for themselves.
When you get under the leadership of a real tyrant, then there is no time for jokes. What to do if you find yourself in such a situation?
The main thing is to calm down and stop winding yourself up. Otherwise, depression is within reach here. At the same time, it is worth considering - what exactly annoys you in the boss? His attitude towards you, personal qualities, leadership methods or professional competence?
Strange as it may seem, it is quite rare for random people to take the place of the boss. That is, if a person works as a boss, then he was appointed to this position, most likely, not for beautiful eyes. Apparently, higher management decided that he had sufficient competence in certain matters, since they trusted him to manage their decision.
Therefore, incompetence, if it occurs, is revealed quite quickly and the boss is removed from his post after the first noticeable miscalculations. Most often, the situation escalates when the personal qualities of one of the subordinates conflict with his views and manners.
Of course, working with a boss who doesn't care about you is a sub-par pleasure. But here it is worth considering, why did this happen? Does he treat everyone with the same arrogance and lack of respect? If not, then you should think carefully about your behavior at work.
Perhaps you are afraid to refuse something to your boss, or you yourself take on additional work, hoping that sooner or later he will notice and appreciate it. It doesn’t even occur to the boss that you are expecting some kind of positive reaction from him. He just sees that you are doing well, and that suits him.
If you feel like you're working a lot and getting little, it's best to speak directly with your boss about it. Ask him if a salary increase is expected? Find out if you can expect to be paid for additional work that you often have to do?
If the boss often finds fault with you for no apparent reason, then you should also think about it. Perhaps you yourself do not correspond to some of his ideas about the norms of behavior in a team, the manner of dressing, talking?
If your boss wears a suit and tie to work, you should also purchase appropriate attire rather than wearing ripped jeans and flip flops. If the boss does not smoke, and instead of being at the workplace, you periodically disappear into the smoking room, then this will also not add any pluses to you.
If you, instead of taking it into account and quickly doing everything you need, start to react violently to every remark at work, shifting the blame to your colleagues, trying to come up with all sorts of excuses to justify yourself, then none of the bosses will definitely like this behavior.
In addition, it is known that we primarily see in others precisely those shortcomings that are inherent in ourselves. So, if a person is prone to deceit, he constantly suspects others of insincerity, if someone likes to gossip, then he will suspect others of “washing the bones” behind his eyes.
Therefore, be sure to pay attention to what exactly annoys you in your boss? Why did he get you so? How is it shown? Perhaps you will learn a lot about yourself, and this will be a great clue on what you need to work on.
Try not to get involved in office wars. It is not known which side the boss might be on.
Do not give a reason to gossip about you: do not use official vehicles for personal purposes, do not sit on social networks or entertainment resources from your work computer for half a day, do not go shopping during working hours, do not make dubious personal connections. Be polite and friendly with co-workers.
Don't participate in gossip or talk about management or other employees on the sly. It can come back to you sideways at the most unexpected moment.
Do not talk about your problems, do not talk about the fact that one of the relatives was under investigation or that your cousin is being treated for alcoholism, and you were fined yesterday for speeding. Trust me, the less your colleagues know, the better.
And remember that we go to work to work, not to be friends. Perform your duties conscientiously, and this will not go unnoticed.
Don't forget that the boss can't be everyone's good dad. Otherwise, the behavior in the team threatens to develop into complete anarchy. In addition, being strict and picky, the boss can at the same time be an indispensable person for solving the company's tasks - to have the skills to conduct business negotiations, to have the necessary connections and be able to make responsible decisions, without which the company might have already gone down the drain.
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