What a joke about a cat. Jokes about cats are very funny to tears. Jokes from a series about a man and a cat

They say that only those who have not yet met their cat do not like cats, but jokes about cats will appeal to many. The popularity of furry pets is gaining momentum not only in the realities of life, but also in the virtual space. On the Internet there is a considerable number of jokes and demotivators about these cute and mysterious animals.

Considering how funny and wayward cats can be, it's no surprise that the collection of funny jokes is constantly updated and growing. It is futile to try to understand what the cat is thinking, her behavior only stirs up interest in purring friends, giving rise to new anecdotes.

10 principles of a real cat:

  • a real cat watches over the health of the owner, helping a person to stay in a constant tone, encourages him to constantly move around the house, and bend over so that he collects pencils, candy wrappers, socks, etc .;
  • taking care of the owner, the cat must inspect the refrigerator in a timely manner, if the person resists and interferes - even more so. This means that a person hides something there, to study this something and, if possible, eliminate it is the task of a real cat;
  • in the evenings, the cat is charged with helping the person make the bed, carefully checking that no foreign objects get into the bed;
  • even after checking, a real cat must repeatedly check and make sure that no snake has crawled under the blanket to a person;
  • the cat must remember - a human dream, just a ridiculous waste of time, and therefore, do not forget at the sight of a sleeping owner, perch on his chest, or start to get confused in his legs in order to wake him up;
  • if a person stubbornly continues to sleep, a real cat should be ready to drive away terrible dreams, at the sight of the owner tossing and turning in bed, it will be good to jump on his face, lie down on his head, as a rule, the person wakes up, and bad dreams recede;
  • the cat must know why the cabinet doors are not closed or the drawers of the chest of drawers are pulled out, sniffing the contents, attract the person to answer with a drawn-out meow;
  • to amuse the owner, a real cat sings songs, sad songs are also performed;
  • the cat is supposed to carve out for a person a part of what he is rich in - to put aside a good part of the food from the bowl on the floor and give his fluff and wool to warm the master's clothes;
  • and finally, during the day, the cat should sleep for the person. For his relatives. For friends. For colleagues. And for all combined.

If you are a happy owner of a fluffy pet, and he has at least half of the above - congratulations, your cat is real!

Funny jokes about cats and humans

Funny jokes about the relationship between people and cats will amuse all the owners of the mustache-striped ones, and will bring a smile to those who have not yet acquired their own four-legged friend:

  • - I had to buy a cat the other day.
    - Why?
    — The wife is afraid of mice.
    Where do you get mice from?
    - So I slowly brought ....
    - Why?!
    I always wanted to have a cat...
  • What do you think our cat is rattling about in the kitchen with?
    - Did you feed her?
    - Not.
    So he's preparing something.

  • These cats are worthy of respect. I moved my Muska to a foreign city and “forgotten” her at the station, without money, without food. And she returned home. She didn’t make a fuss, she didn’t call names, she didn’t write slander to the police. Not like mother-in-law….
  • At that infrequent time when my cat comes to me and wants to get a little affection, I retreat, hiding behind the sofa, let him know what it's like.
  • I had a chance to witness how a woman was talking to a cat stuck on a tree. Her last phrase is just on the spot:
    - If so - do not yell! Sway, damn it, already a nest and go to bed !!!
  • First of all, the happy new settlers brought a cat into the house, and the cat closed the door, rearranged the lock, which has been living alone for a year, threatening with an ax in the peephole.
  • Once an American, a Russian and a German started a dispute, which of them will be able to feed the cat with mustard.
    The German caught the animal and pushed the mustard right into his mouth.
    — Violence! the Russian and the American protested.
    The American puts the seasoning between the doctor's mugs, the cat swallows.
    - Deception! - Russian and German were indignant.
    The Russian grabs the cat and drops mustard down its tail.
    The cat hisses, howls and immediately begins to wash.
    “And that’s it,” the Russian grinned, “with enthusiasm and song!”
  • Recently, he deftly grabbed a mosquito with his hand, after which the cat was chasing a solid hour, demonstrating prey, unclenched his fist in front of her very nose. In my opinion, for the first time, respect appeared in her eyes ...
  • Olga Sergeevna chewed Whiskas and peeled off the wallpaper in the corridor, but her husband still called her a hippopotamus, not a kitty ....
  • Just don't lie that you have never brought your beloved cat to the mirror. And then explain to him that he is in the reflection. Everyone did it.
  • Is it possible to call cat food something more modest? Why does my cat eat "Tender Goose Liver Pate with Pineapple Pieces" and I eat sausage sandwiches?

Cats and kitties know how to cheer up, and make you smile, to their antics. Even just by looking at cool photos or reading jokes about cats, you can get a charge of fun and positive.

Cat jokes, if animals could talk...

In trying to understand the mysterious nature of the cat, what a help would be the ability of cats to speak our language! Alas and ah, communication with little purrs takes place without words, which does not prevent them from humanizing them in numerous jokes. Jokes on behalf of cats and other animals cause even more laughter and a desire to read them.

  • A troll and a cat met. Furry was surprised:
    - Who are you?
    - I'm a troll. I mess with people. I shit everywhere, I break things, I get rowdy at night, I interfere with sleep. And who are you?
    The cat thought...
    Maybe I'm a troll too...
  • A man and a cat are sitting on the porch.
    - Eh, - the man sighs, - my wife gave birth to triplets yesterday ...
    “Don’t panic,” the cat replies, “you will distribute it.”
  • A cat enters the next world, and appears before the Almighty. He asks:
    I hope that you will feel comfortable and at ease here. What do you wish to ask?
    “God,” the cat meowed, “all my life I've been driving like a catechumen, dragging food and hunting mice. I wish I didn't have to repeat all this here.
    “I heard you,” God said and gave the cat a soft bed and plenty of food.
    After a while, a dozen mice fall into heaven.
    I hope you will feel comfortable and at ease here. Ask what you are dreaming of, - said the God who met them.
    “God, all our lives we've been doing nothing but snatching up crumbs and escaping cats. We don't want to run anymore!
    “I heard,” God said and presented each skateboard.
    After a couple of days, God comes to the cat:
    - Do you like it here?
    - And how! the cat purred, “I love the couch, the toys, the food here is excellent, and that appetizer on wheels is top notch!”

  • A cat with a cat plays hide and seek:
    - If you manage to find and catch - I'm yours ... and if not, then I'm sitting quietly behind the curtain!
  • An old, seasoned programmer cat came out onto the balcony, looked at the cats walking in the yard, and said:
    - So a new generation has grown up, who did not happen to experience all the charm of warm monitors ...
  • Once upon a time there lived a cat, so intelligent and understanding, except that he could not express himself like a human being. And the hostess lamented every day:
    - Kitty, you're my smart one, well, say something! Why are you not silent?
    Once they were sitting at the table, the hostess was all about the same thing: the cat, would have said at least a word. The cat thought and said:
    The ceiling will collapse soon!
    The hostess is in shock, sits, her eyes are round - and then a piece of plaster falls on her head.
    - And why, - the cat sighed grumblingly, - then everything is “cat, talk, yes, cat, talk” .... And when I talk, she doesn't listen.
  • Cat principle number one: accidentally woke up - eat!
    Cat principle number two: sleep well!
  • Cat reasoning:
    “You all envy and envy us cats, but do you think we have an easy life?” And try, for starters, half a day to lick a fur hat!
  • An effective method for bathing a cat:
    Thoroughly clean the toilet.
    Lift the lid and pour in the shampoo.
    Find and, calming the cat, bring it to the toilet.
    With a sharp movement, place the cat in the toilet, cover with a lid and sit down on top.
    The cat will whip up soapy foam.
    Press the drain button several times in a row. This will ensure a thorough rinse.
    You will need an assistant to open the toilet door, and you are advised to run as far as possible, throwing back the toilet lid along the way.
    The cleanest cat will jump out of the toilet and dry in the open air.
    If you have any questions, ask and I will answer. Sincerely, always yours, Dog!

  • Cat caught a mouse and asks:
    - Do you want to live?
    Mouse with frightened eyes:
    - With whom?
    - Ugh, lost ... Already got sick of eating!

Cats are a miracle in themselves, and talking cats are a double miracle. However, in jokes and jokes about cats, everything is possible, the more exciting it is to read them and get a portion of healthy laughter!

Another funny cat joke

Why is a cat better than a wife?

  1. The cat is experiencing the joy of your return home. At the same time, the later you come, the more you rejoice (this will not work with your wife).
  2. A cat is always content with its fur coat and does not require another, even if the neighbor's cat has it fluffier and more beautiful.
  3. A cat can always be stroked and caressed. Conversely, if you are not in the mood, you can not do it. Finally, the cat will not say a word if you decide to caress another cat.
  4. The cat is a worthy listener, but does not require it from you. She never loads you with advice filled, in her opinion, with the wisdom of life and knowledge of the human soul.
  5. You do not know her mother and other relatives, you do not need to visit them.
  6. The cat does not sit on the sofa watching TV shows, does not discuss you with her girlfriends on the phone. She does not need to be taken out on vacation, she genuinely enjoys being at home, and she does not blame you for stealing the best years of her life.
  7. You are not interested in where your cat brought the kittens from.

The cats of the Internet are winning more and more hearts of fans, touching sometimes with their appearance alone, and funny fictional or real stories contribute to the growth of popularity. And finally, one more joke for those who like to sit in the global network:

  • The entire Internet chooses and loves cats, because the dog is required to walk more than once a day - and this is several hours away from the computer ....

Smile more often - it's great and pleasant, and numerous jokes about cats will help you!

We all simply idolize our pets - cats and cats. We look after them, feed, treat and. laughing at them! Yes, every cat or cat got into or created a situation that can only be called an anecdote. Based on such situations and simply the habits and character of cats, many funny anecdotes have been compiled. The Murlo website has collected the funniest jokes about cats and cats, and all of them are below. But be careful, because with laughter you can not only prolong life, but also tear your stomach :-D

Before I do something, I always ask myself: "What would my cat do in my place?". As a result, I always go either to eat or to sleep.

Cats are magical animals that can only "Meow" to get from their owner what the dogs will have to run, jump, give a paw, bring slippers and guard the house!

At a housewarming party, the first thing the owners let into the apartment was a cat - that door closed, the locks changed, it has been living for the second year, and the ax shows in the peephole.

From a conversation between two friends:
- Imagine, in my house a mouse mocks a cat!
- O_o, how is it?
- Yes, cheese in a mousetrap spreads with valerian.

When a new mine was opened, according to tradition, a cat was thrown into it. Climbing out, he scrawled the first two tons of coal.

When buying for myself, I could not even think that he would make a Persian flood on my Persian carpet!

Looking at the behavior of my cat, we can say with confidence that I live in his apartment, and judging by his look, it’s time for me to move out.

The train is coming. Suddenly moves out of the rails, but then again calls on them. One passenger goes to the driver and asks with interest:
- I beg your pardon, but why did the train leave the flights?
- There was a cat sitting right on them!
- Chu, then he would have crushed him!
- So I just caught up with him on the field ...

At the pet store. Seller to Buyer:
- It is better to choose a different food, because this one can cause constipation in a hamster.
Buyer:
- The cage with our hamster is on a chest of drawers on which the cat likes to jump. So our hamster does not get constipated.

A man brings his cat to visit a purebred cat, and he completely ignores her. Walking, the man says to the hostess:
- Oh, how proud your cat is, he didn’t even look at my cat all evening!
Cat under his nose:
- If your balls were cut off, you would also become proud, and you would not come to visit today ...

Pitiful creature! You exist only to serve me! Obey, or I will kill you and destroy your entire race!
- Kiss-kiss-kiss, why are you meowing? Do you want to eat again? Hody, I'll feed you, kitty-kitty...

A man sits and solves a crossword puzzle. Suddenly he asks his wife:
- Honey, do you know a bird of nine letters, which no longer exists?
- This is our canary!
- Why?
"Because while you were doing the crossword puzzle, the neighbor's cat ate it!"

Dad says to little son:
- Let's buy a bottle of beer now and we can go home.
- Dad, dad, let's buy a kitten!
- Son, are you kittens do not drink beer!

The guy comes to visit his girlfriend. They sit and drink tea. A very angry-looking cat enters the room. The guy asks:
- Can I pet the cat?
Girl, very secular:
- Yes, you certainly may! Just wait, now I'll bring bandages and iodine.

From a conversation between two blondes:
- Can you imagine, last week my cat disappeared, but the day before yesterday I found him on the street and brought him home. My cat returned yesterday. Now I have two identical cats.
- Wow! Can you imagine how surprised your first cat was? He returns to his home, but it turns out he is already there!

Jokes are jokes, and nothing compares to funny videos about cats! Check out the funniest cat videos of 2014!

Yesterday, the director of the capital's supermarket kicked out a local cat. They say that he was aiming in his place ...

At the opening of a new mine, according to tradition, a cat was thrown there first. It was she, getting out, and scrawled the first three tons of coal.

Cats can eat twice their body weight in a day. So, I'm like a cat.

Call at 2 am to the vet:
Hello, veterinarian?
- Yes! Do you have anything urgent?
- Of course! Here on the roof, a cat makes love to a cat and meows terribly - it's impossible to sleep!
- Invite the cat to the phone!
Do you think he will stop making love?
- Well, I stopped!

A cat comes up to the bartender and says:
- A glass of beer and salted nuts.
The bartender gives everything in bewilderment, the cat pays and sits down at the table. Then he comes up and says to the bartender:
- I will often rest here now, I work nearby.
He sits down in his place.
The bartender calls the familiar director of the circus and tells about everything. He comes, sits down to the cat.
“Would you like to earn $200?”
- How?
— Working for me in the circus?!
- In principle, it is possible, but I don’t understand why you need programmers in the circus?

“A week ago my cat disappeared, but four days ago I found it and brought it into the house, and today my cat returned. Now I have two identical cats.
Can you imagine your cat's shock? He returns home, and he is already at home.

At the pet store:
- I'd like some cat litter, please.
Are they empty inside?

A man and a cat are sitting.
“Oh,” the man says, “my wife gave birth to triplets yesterday.
“Don’t worry,” the cat replies, “you will distribute it.”

“Honey, you should get a cat…”
"He's gone mad, hasn't he?"

If a cat is friends with a dog, this is either the merit of the trainer, or a conspiracy against him.

- But in your apartment the cat does not mark corners!
- Yes, he went nuts! He thinks it's all here!!!

If a black cat crosses your path, then the animal is in a hurry somewhere.

Real ad on the Internet: “Kitten for sale. Qualitative. Almost unused, 2 months mileage. Completed. There is wool (cheerful black and white). paws (4 pcs.), mustache and rumble (built-in). It has the function of urinating into the toilet, lying on the TV, hanging its tail over the screen, and inexorable cheerfulness. The nutrition function is debugged simply marvelously: he even eats bread and pasta with pleasure. There are no glitches. The mouse recognizes.

And I have grief - my Persian cat made the Persian Gulf on my Persian carpet !!!

Interview with trainer:
Are you a big wild cat tamer?
- Yes it's me!
- Why don't they touch you - you are so small and thin?
- That's the trick: they are waiting for me to get fat.

On the street there are domestic and stray cats.
home asks:
- Listen, bro, who feeds you?
No one, I feed myself!
“Wow, you know how to open canned cat food?!

A drunken man returns home after a party. He steps carefully so as not to wake his wife. In the dark, he accidentally stepped on a cat. The cat screamed terribly. The man was at first confused, but then he shouted angrily and joyfully:
- Here is a harmful cat! Where have you been? I've been looking for you since the evening!

Dad brought a kitten to his daughter and says:
- Well, my daughter is a kitten for you, play with him as you like.
- No, dad, as I want, so sorry.

One person had a cat. A cat is like a cat, the most ordinary. And, as it should be for cats, every month of March the cat spent no one knows where. He returned home dirty, skinny, shabby!
This man was tired of the cat's adventures, and he performed a well-known operation on him. Then March comes, and the cat again disappears from the house, and returns only a month later - dirty, hungry and skinned.
The owner asks him: - But now, now, what were you doing there ?!
I have consulted! the cat answered proudly.

Daddy-cat was about to leave the house. The kitten asks him:
- Dad, where are you?
- I'm going to flirt.
- Can I go with you?
- Went.
They went together. They got out on the roof.
Dad-cat and says to his son: - You sit here, and I will come soon ...
The kitten is sitting, sitting ... The rain has gone, the wind has blown, the night has come. There is no father.
Well, the kitten says: “I’ll flirt a little more and go home ...

Traditional history. A man visiting his mistress.
Doorbell. Her husband returned from a business trip.
The woman hides her lover under the sofa: - The husband will fall asleep, you will get out.
Third hour of the night. Our hero gets out from under the sofa and sneaks towards the exit.
But the sensitive husband wakes up:
- Who's there?
- It's me, your cat Vaska, I went to pee.
- Okay, go, just in the tray.
- Yeah...

cat to cat:
- What are your original red sunglasses ...
- The owner bought me this so that I would take oatmeal for minced meat.

Two mice decided to go to war with cats. The whole mouse gathered, they were escorted. After a while, one returned. Everyone asks her how the cat is and, in general, where is the second mouse ...
And he says:
- The fight was unequal, but we almost killed the cat.
How is that almost?
- I bit him by the tail, and Vasek tried to get stuck in his throat !!!

There are two cats - from Yerevan and Odessa.
Yerevanskaya: - Meow, huh?
Odessa: - Oh, meow ...

One lady had a cat, well, such a smart cat, he just didn’t speak. Here she is upset every day:
- Kitty, well, you're so smart, well, say something! Well, when you start talking!
Once they sit opposite each other at the table, the hostess starts the same song: they say, the cat, would say something.
And the cat opens its mouth and gives out: - Move away! Now a piece will fall from the ceiling!
The hostess was stunned, she sits, her eyes bulge at the cat - and then she is hit on the head with that very piece of plaster from the ceiling!
- Well, - the cat grumbled, - then everything is “cat, speak, cat, speak”, and when I speak, this fool does not listen.

The phone rings at the police station.
Help, help! - is heard in the receiver. - For help!
“We’re leaving now,” the inspector says. “But what happened?
The cat has entered the room!
“I'm sorry, monsieur, but such trifles don't disturb the police. Who you are?
- How is this who? Parrot, of course!

Two yard cats are closely watching a fluffy Persian cat.
- Gorgeous! one sighs.
- Not the right word, you should have seen her wet - not a figure, but a feast for the eyes!

- Neighbor, I have a great grief! My cat ran away!
- It is strange that when your wife left you, in my opinion, you were not so upset!
- But my wife did not have three medals from the international exhibition!

The dog thinks: "Here, I live with people - they feed me, play with me, walk, caress ... Probably, they are Gods."
The cat thinks: “Here, I live with people - they feed me, play with me, caress me, let me sleep on a pillow ... Apparently, I am God!”

Three white cats are walking. The road crosses the road.
One of the cats: "Well, again, no luck !!!"

There is no more real remorse in the look of a woman who supposedly admits her mistake than in a cat who pissed in her shoes.

Three cats argued - who is lazier.
First: - Yesterday I was lying on the rug, and the hostess brought me cutlets and fish on a plate. I was too lazy to get up.
Second: - I go outside yesterday. Sun. Frustrated me. Lie down on the grass. Muska from a neighboring house past me back and forth. Didn't lure. Laziness was.
Third: - You, pretty lazy, yesterday heard someone yelling in a bad voice?
First and second: Yes. And who is it?
Third: Yes, I am. Getting off the battery, he stepped on his balls. Too lazy to get off...

If the cat started playing with the dog, then the owners are fed up with both.

Cat Ryzhik, in complete disarray, rushed through the snowdrifts, freezing his love of love, and shouted:
- So where? Where, I ask you, is spring? Well, what country is it? Where are the girls, the snowdrops, the chirping of the birds? Even though the sparrows are chirping, even though the crows are croaking where?! I'm not talking about the thaw. Snow is falling from the sky, as it broke through there, but these have spring here. A total scam and lie!
And people listened to the cat's cry and smiled:
- Look how yelling. Feels spring. You can't fool cats...

If a black cat crossed the road in Moscow, then she was very lucky.

What does your kitty think when he shits on the carpet in the corner behind the chair?
- I know you can't. But: firstly, there is no one, secondly, it is dark, and then - I will bury ...

In England, a customer walks into a shop and asks for a pie. The seller brings him a cake, but says that this is the last copy.
The buyer wonders if mice have gnawed at him, as he looks strange.
- Oh no! - the seller answers.
Why are you so sure of this?
Our cat slept on it all morning.

The footballer's cat never sleeps in a ball.

The lion and the bull are sitting in a bar. The lion's cell phone rang.
The lion has spoken and is about to leave.
The bull asks: - Who was it?
Leo: Wife.
The bull begins to laugh: - What does your wife tell you where and how to spend time?
To which the lion replies: - You do not compare, your wife is a cow, and I have a lioness!

One man complains to another: - I have a cat, how it goes to the toilet, how it accelerates and rides along the carpet on the ass, I was tortured to wash it.
He advises him: - Instead of a path, put sandpaper, the cat will quickly unlearn being a hooligan.
They meet after a while, the one who advised asks: - Well, how is your cat?
The first replies: - I did as you advised, so only ears reached the battery.

If a black cat crossed your path, followed by a black mouse, followed by a black granddaughter, then the grandfather pulled not a turnip, but a high-voltage cable.

My cat thinks I live with her. And sometimes in her eyes I catch a hint that it's time for me to live separately.

The neighbor asks the neighbor:
- Why do you have it when you wash it?
- Aren't you screaming?
- Not.
- How do you squeeze it out?

Joke about a neutered cat

In the veterinary clinic, the operation to castrate the cat has ended. The nurse in the waiting room fills out a journal and asks.
- What is your cat's name?
- Fidel ... Now it's Castro ...

The cat is the perfect household item.
She even has the function of self-packing in a container provided in the basic configuration.

Cats of the breed are so large that they often change owners.


For two weeks they scolded the cat for puddles in the toilet ...
Turned out the tank was leaking.

The best friend is a cat. He will never say "Why do you eat at night?". He will eat with you!

Only once in my life I experienced a real shock - when I realized that our cat had learned how to open the refrigerator.

Joke about lazy cats

Three cats argued which of them was the laziest.
First cat:
- Sometimes they bring me milk in a bowl, so even too lazy to lap it up.
Second cat:
- They brought me a cat yesterday, it almost sat on my nose - it was so lazy to open my eyes.
Third cat:
- Yesterday you probably heard the cat yelling in the stairwell? So I stepped on, but I was too lazy to move away ...

- What does your cat need for complete happiness, except for a jar of Whiskas?
- Well, maybe even a small opener ...

New from Japanese robot builders! New cybercat model practically indistinguishable from the living, but it asks for food in eight languages, tears up wallpaper and furniture to the sound of music, and shits strictly in the places programmed by the owner.

Today the cat shitted so badly that he ended up in his tray.

It's famous joke about buckwheat, only instead of buckwheat here is pasta:

The owner feeds the cat pasta. On the first day, the cat ate everything, on the second day it comes to the bowl:
Ugh, pasta...
Leaves. The next day:
- Fu, pasta again ... and, as it were, digs
Leaves. On the fourth day is suitable:
- O! Pasta!!!

Two friends meet.
- Why are you so sad?
Yes, I buried the cat.
- And what happened?
Killed by lightning.
- How???
- Yes, I was buttoning my jacket, and he stuck his head ...

When a new coal mine was opened, according to tradition, a cat was thrown into it. She, getting out, and scrawled the first ton of coal.

The stomach of a kitten is no larger than a thimble, so the liter of milk that he drinks is under pressure there, as in the epicenter of a nuclear explosion.


How cartoons affect our lives. Many people still eat a sandwich with sausage down just because one cat said in a cartoon that it tastes better.

Lost cat. Without one hind leg, one ear and half of the tail. Nickname Lucky.

A cat is such an animal that, at the command “Where to?!”, Automatically changes the direction of movement in space.

So a generation of cats has grown up that did not have to lie on a warm monitor ...

Joke about a cat and a man

The man got himself a cat. And he shits constantly in the middle of the room.
He decided to fix this matter.
As soon as the cat shits, he grabs him by the scruff of the neck, pokes his nose into the shit and throws him out the window.
Once he did it, twice - nothing changes.
A man sits and thinks what to do next ...
Then the cat comes into the room again, crap neatly in the middle, pokes its muzzle into the shit with a flourish, and jumps out the window with a wild meow ...

We met two cats. One says to the other:
- What cool red glasses you have ...
- The owner bought this for me so that I would take porridge for minced meat.

Two neighbors meet. One asks:
— Where is your cat?
- Yes, you know, my husband is a pilot, he decided to check if you throw a cat from an airplane, will it land on all four paws or not?
- So how is it?
- How, how ... The cat returned home, but her husband is still missing!

Yesterday my daughter and I drew this. And imagine, in the morning under the door they found exactly the same. And now we are drawing a villa in Nice and a Porsche Cayenne

My cat constantly shits in the streets, and I hit him for it. So I have a feeling that the cat thinks that I beat him, because he didn’t shit enough!

Two cats are talking.
- And what, are you serious?
Yes, he promised to marry.
— And when was that?
- In March.
- Yes, in March they promise everything ...

My cat was a bailiff in a past life.
- And why did you decide so?
- Well, at first he wrote a claim past the tray, and then he also seized it in the corridor.

Why do you have such a weird Instagram?
- What's so strange about it?
- Yes, there are just the same photos: birds, fish, a hamster?
So this is my cat taking pictures.

Cats that live in a blacksmith shop do not understand - how can you be so afraid of such a trifle as a vacuum cleaner?

Our cat was also afraid of the vacuum cleaner at first ... but then nothing, she got involved.


The influence of cats on humans is increasing every year. More comfortable living conditions are being created for cats, and some even consider them family members. Cats have already enslaved our world and will soon begin to adjust it for themselves! However, they still remain the most amusing and funny animals. Having a cat in the house means getting a storm of good mood every day. If you don't have a pet, you can read cat jokes which are also uplifting.

Since cats "captured" our world, funny cat jokes are published every day on thousands of humorous sites. How can you come up with so many stories about cats? It is not at all necessary to come up with funny cat jokes every time, since many of the jokes took place in reality. Cats are unpredictable animals. You only need to capture his behavior - and voila, the information for writing cat jokes is ready. And if you're lucky, the world will see funny pictures of cats with funny faces.

What jokes can be classified as funny cat jokes? When is the behavior of a cat described or when do cats “communicate” with each other, talking about their adventures?

It seems to me that giving jokes about cats some fantasticness increases the value of the joke many times over. When pets talk to each other in jokes about cats, we seem to be on the side of the wings, behind which it is much more interesting.

What severity can be in the existence of a cat? If you read funny cat jokes on our site - you will find one joke with philosophical overtones. The owner sees a peacefully sleeping cat and says out loud that the cat has a great life, where he only eats and sleeps. To which the cat in response thinks that he was castrated, his wife was sterilized, and the children were drowned. Not the best existence.

However, there are jokes about cats, where the main bet was made on cat mischief. And there are a lot of such jokes on our site.

Starring remains one of the most requested gags in the cat category. Of course, there are cat demotivators or the same photos that someone likes more. Yes, in the photo, cats often have funny faces. But, I still like jokes with cats more, because you need to think out the main picture yourself. This is up to the imagination of the reader. And when the brain presents you with a funny image from a joke, there will be more laughter than when viewing photos of jokes.