Going to extremes, unfortunately, is now a common problem in our society. People sometimes do not realize that they very often rush from one extreme to another in certain situations, without noticing that this does not lead to anything good, neither for them nor for those around them.
Go to extremes- means losing control over a sober understanding of the situation, losing control over your emotions. After all, sometimes we may not even listen to the person; we immediately begin to impose our thoughts on this or that issue, thereby going to extremes. How to learn to control emotions in such situations - we must first try to think about what we heard, reflect, weigh the pros and cons, and only then say what we think about this or that matter.
For some, going to extremes is the norm. For them, this is a common thing; if you don’t tell them, they will get a negative reaction for any reason. Before thinking about the problem or its solution, they begin to rebel about it, and do not even allow the person to say a word in response to this reaction. Because of this, contradictions and grievances often arise between people. Such cases occur in families, and among friends and acquaintances; they can arise in any group.
Each of us has faced, is facing and will face this, but we must try to somehow deal with it, and the first thing we need to do is start with ourselves!
“If there is any secret to success, it lies in the ability to take another person’s point of view and see things from their point of view as well as from your own.” Henry Ford
Learning to control emotions and not go to extremes is not an easy task; it requires systematicity, development of these qualities and support from others. Of course, when there is no person nearby who will help you fight bad character traits, who will not stop you in hasty decisions and give you the comments that are necessary for you to become better, it will be much more difficult. Since the support of a loved one is the best help that helps you not only become better, but also correct unpleasant situations in your life, as well as improve relationships with others.
Try to find a person with whom you could share your feelings, problems and many other issues that concern you. Together you can not only solve various issues, but also, after analyzing the situation and drawing the right conclusions, you will be able to understand what you should correct in yourself.
There are many ways to learn to control your emotions, but for some reason we, even knowing different methods, still sometimes cannot control our anger or irritation. And the most important thing in this matter is not only to control your emotions, but also not to accumulate resentment, anger and other emotional states that worry you.
“Patience should lead to better relationships. If you tolerate correctly, the relationship will improve; if you tolerate incorrectly, it will worsen. If you feel that you are developing a negative attitude towards people, it is better to change something. This is not the right patience." Vyacheslav Ruzov
To do this, you need to let go of the resentment or anger that you hold against a person, which means forgive, no matter how difficult it may be. Because, holding this burden within yourself, your soul will be heavy, and you will not be able to restore any relationship with the person with whom you are offended. And thus you will become angry or irritated during his presence, or when the topic about him is brought up. You will begin to criticize his actions or words, and this will not make it easier for either of you. Therefore, in order to, and also learn to control emotions, you must first of all reset this very burden, namely, forgive those people with whom you hold a grudge.
How to make sure that the people around you and you yourself do not go to extremes?
First of all, it is necessary to discuss this or that issue calmly, not emotionally, since the emotional coloring gives a negative emotional reaction.
Secondly, try to discuss the current situation, weighing the pros and cons, consider the positive and negative results of this or that action and find a compromise solution.
Third, is to draw the right conclusions. Having discussed all the issues that may relate to a particular situation, you will be able to come to the right conclusions and also take note of those points that you missed and your interlocutor noticed.
"!" Don’t be categorical, don’t go to extremes! Consider all options and do not immediately deny what your friend can offer, since perhaps he is right, and you are simply full of emotions or you have developed a distrustful attitude towards him. If he is wrong, then let him know about it by bringing, and share with him your views on this matter.
Develop tolerance and respect for everyone around you, thereby you will be able to establish good relationships with them, and you will also be a worthy interlocutor!
It's no secret that people love to create definitions not only for visible objects, but also for very abstract and ephemeral things that exist only in the figurative world. In this post we will discuss what extreme is. This is one of the qualities inherent in almost every person. It cannot be touched or measured; it is a subjective and very relative assessment of behavior. Why are we designed in such a way that we can go to extremes? Who decides what is an extreme and what does behavior on the edge lead to? Let's discuss the topic in this post.
What is an extreme?
It's no secret that people are built in a rather unique way. Few of us are distinguished by calm and consistent behavior, an easy perception of life, and openness to the new and unknown. We are also difficult in relationships both with ourselves and with other people.
Society has long ago tacitly determined that there is a certain norm. However, why behind the scenes? Let's take any religion - it necessarily contains commandments that give guidance on what is right. Violation of these laws is considered a deviation from the norm. Ignoring some commandments is punishable by law, such as theft or murder. Violation of others is simply not welcomed, condemned and called “extremes” by society.
Examples of extremes
For example, it is believed that you need to work five days a week. A person who exceeds the “norm” will be considered a workaholic, while someone who does not work at all will be considered a parasite.
In the Orthodox world, it is considered normal to have a family, for a woman to get married, and for a man to get married. If a person does not want to follow this “plan”, leads a promiscuous life and has many partners, then he can be condemned for debauchery. Anyone who does not at all want to have connections with the opposite sex will be considered a puritan.
There should be enough money to cover “bread and butter” - an apartment, a car and loan repayments. If a person refuses material goods, this is not normal. Just as the unrestrained pursuit of money is considered abnormal.
There should be two or three children. The now fashionable concept of “childfree” is one extreme, and the desire to have a huge family is another.
Therefore, extreme is what is considered wrong, excessive by society. That's all. What did you think?
How do those who “throw to extremes” live?
You need to live in such a way that you are comfortable and that it does not interfere with others. Blindly following religious dogmas, society forgets about this simple rule and does not give many people freedom of choice. A “man of extremes” can be rebuked and condemned for desires that are completely natural to him. You will not go to extremes if you provide comfort for both yourself and those around you. Society's condemnation of those who do not violate these rules is extreme. These are the realities of life in society.
How to live correctly?
No one, including your parents, spouse, boss, priests, can tell you about the right life.
Everything is very subjective and varies from person to person, from religion to religion. The extreme and the norm are different not only on different continents, but sometimes even within the same street.
You yourself feel discomfort sometimes, don’t you? When do you eat too much or refuse food due to dieting? Or if, for example, you spend all your money on shopping?
People are designed in such a way that they realize when they cross the boundaries of the norm - and the measure of this should not be the opinion of society, but an internal feeling of peace and harmony with oneself. The norm is peace of mind, peace of mind, and absence of remorse for one’s actions. Nature and divine providence (whoever is behind it) have provided us with a barometer of correctness. Listen to your inner voice, not your neighbor, and you will do the right thing.
Hello! Dear!
Let me start by saying that I am 21 years old. At first glance, everything is fine - good looks, athletic build, charm, good work. But nothing is going well in my personal life! Since childhood, I was often instilled with insecurity (often my opinion was “silenced”, my merits were not paid attention to, and even for the smallest offenses I could be severely scolded). Since childhood (especially from my mother), I have been instilled with the conviction that the opinions of others are VERY important, and that you need to look very good in the eyes of others. Because of this, I grew up very obedient and dependent on other people’s opinions; other people often took advantage of my kindness, often to my detriment. Self-esteem is greatly underestimated. But, about a year and a half to two years ago, I took a different path and began to get rid of many complexes, began to communicate more, began to take my opinion into account, began to pay less attention to the opinions of others, and my self-esteem increased. I go to the gym, do sports, buy things I want - in general, I provide for myself. But sometimes something in me switches and I again return to my complexes and shortcomings, I literally shift from confidence to uncertainty. I often do something in one state, but then I condemn this action and try to correct it while in another. It is often very difficult for me to make any decision, because two opposites are fighting within me: confidence and lack of confidence in my own abilities.
For example, I can gather a company, organize a party, but by the evening I lose all confidence and don’t want anything anymore, I start looking for excuses not to come to this party! And similar situations occur almost every day! Help me get rid of this! Thank you!
Hello, Pavel! let's look at what's going on:
Since childhood, I was often instilled with insecurity (often my opinion was “silenced”, my merits were not paid attention to, and even for the smallest offenses I could be severely scolded). Since childhood (especially from my mother), I have been instilled with the conviction that the opinions of others are VERY important, and that you need to look very good in the eyes of others.
Self-esteem is greatly underestimated.
You have spotted the roots of where your self-doubt may come from - from the fact that as a Child you did NOT feel accepted by Adults! However - STILL this same child remains living inside you, who still perceives rejection - and there is another you - You are an Adult - the one who has learned to hear yourself, to listen - and it is important to find and build that bridge between THAT Child and YOU-Adults, so that you can accept yourself and give yourself a feeling of security, accept yourself!
It’s not really a matter of NOT paying attention to the opinions of others - it’s very important to learn to HEAR yourself and HEAR others - for example, a relationship with a girl - after all, it’s important to hear your partner - accept her feelings too! otherwise, no relationship will work out - there will only be a struggle between the two partners!
and open up to yourself and others - accepting yourself!
sometimes something in me switches and I again return to my complexes and shortcomings, I literally shift from confidence to uncertainty
and this is also normal - often, when faced with difficulties or situations that may have consequences (i.e. situations of conflict between you and others, situations that are unsafe for you), you can regress - i.e. take steps back - and this is a return precisely to the Child’s position, where you are still afraid of rejection (since such a stereotype already existed) - that is why this uncertainty arises, since you still do not feel safe and it is important to help exactly this - to help create a safe space for yourself, give confidence to YOUR CHILD! and your Adult knows what it is!
the stereotype changes only when you change it - change your behavior - being in this regression state, it is important NOT to stop, but to move on, call on the help of your Adult so that he can give confidence and act! This is work with positions, you can contact a psychologist in person..
Good answer 2 Bad answer 1Hello, Pavel. Your condition can be compared 1. With walking along a well-known road (which you have been walking along for almost twenty years) and 2. Walking along an overgrown, barely noticeable path (you have been walking along it for two years, and only sporadically). When you walk along it, you often lose the path and end up on the usual route. It is longer, more polluted, swerves a lot and is dangerous to walk on (life-threatening from speeding vehicles). The narrow path is straight as an arrow, you are accompanied by spruce and pine trees, singing birds, berries and mushrooms everywhere. Sheer pleasure. But you get confused from it very often. What work suggests itself first? Arrange this path. Clear the windfall, clear it widely, lay it out with decorative tiles and then enjoy the fast, effective, rational, productive movement. This path will bring health and pleasure from life. What is stopping you? There is direction, a little experience of worthy self-acceptance is there. You need to devote your best time to this important work. Make it a valuable asset of the present time. And this work will become a resource for all time .This path will put you on the horizon of a successful career and a friendly family. Invest in it physically and financially. Choose a specialist psychologist and create this resource once and for all. You will become confident, firm in decisions, internally strong, mature and wise. Your assessment of yourself , will finally build a nest and settle down, finding peace only within you, and not in anyone else. You will become grateful to fate for being you. Group up and begin. Good luck in overcoming it!
Everything in our lives should be in balance, balance, harmony. If there is a clear advantage in one direction, then the harmony is immediately disrupted and not the most pleasant things begin to happen. Any throwing from one extreme to another is destructive; only the golden mean is creative.
Judge for yourself, do you like sunny weather? When your soul is as warm as it is outside, do you want to bask in the sun, sunbathe and enjoy life? But imagine that the sun will shine constantly, never going behind the clouds. What then? Sunburn, fainting, drought. All living things will die. This is one extreme. The only salvation can be rain. But what if it rains all the time, without stopping? The water will flood the land, and the entire future harvest will rot, without giving people food. This is the other extreme. In the first case, all living things will die of thirst, and in the second case, of hunger. Only a balance of sunny and rainy weather can ensure life on our planet.
The same rule applies to absolutely everything in our lives. Even to good and evil. It would seem that everything is obvious here and there is no need to maintain a balance. But if a person is 100% kind, he can do harm rather than help with a good deed, he will not be able to refuse anyone, thereby he will ignore his needs and ruin his life. If he is completely ruled by evil, then the person will sow only violence and aggression around him. And only by maintaining a balance can you do good deeds, but at the same time have your own principles and defend your rights, be able to refuse people without feeling guilty.
Maintaining balance also applies to relationships with the opposite sex. Women very often go from one extreme to another, thereby setting the wrong course for relationships.
In general, the relationship between a man and a woman can be compared to a journey on a ship. A man stands at the helm and steers the ship. And the woman gently and unobtrusively leads the man to where this ship needs to be taken and near which harbor to moor it. If she starts misbehaving with the captain, then the ship is unlikely to sail in the direction she wants. If she starts to take the helm from a man by force, she will most likely end up overboard (divorced), where hungry sharks await her (trouble). And then she will have to swim in the cold ocean herself and wait for another ship on which she can be saved. And it is not at all a fact that the captain of another ship will give this woman the helm. It is generally unknown what kind of person he will turn out to be, maybe even a pirate.
Jokes aside, but in order to attract a worthy man into your life and build deep and harmonious relationships with him, create a strong family, a woman needs to learn to maintain balance and not go to extremes, because of which she could easily end up overboard or overboard. just swim in the direction opposite to your dream.
In fact, there are only two most common extremes into which the majority fall.
- I do not need anything(woman with low self-esteem) → I only need the best(selfishness and pride);
- I'll do everything myself(strong woman) → I can't do anything on my own(weak woman);
Each extreme destroys not only the relationship with a man, but also the feminine nature received from birth. That is, if a woman behaves as in the examples given, then she not only destroys family happiness with her own hands, but also wastes the time allotted to her, not wanting to work off karma, solve life lessons, in other words, do what she decided for to be born a woman.
EXTREME
EXTREME
1. That which represents the extreme degree of something (opinion, behavior, property). Go to extremes. Protect yourself to the last extreme. Extremes of belief.
2. An extreme opposite to the other. Move from one extreme to another. Extremes meet.
3. only units A difficult, dangerous situation, an extreme necessity. Extremes pushed him to commit a crime.
Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary.
D.N. Ushakov.:
1935-1940.
Synonyms See what “EXTREME” is in other dictionaries:
See the need to go to extremes, to bring to extremes, to extremes... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and similar expressions. under. ed. N. Abramova, M.: Russian Dictionaries, 1999. extreme overlap, extremeness, inflection, extremity, need, ... ... Synonym dictionary
EXTREME, and, female. 1. Extreme degree of something, excessive manifestation of something. To rush from one extreme to another, to move (about obvious inconsistency in decisions, actions; ind.). The character combines two extremes. Extremes meet... ... Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary extreme
- - [A.S. Goldberg. English-Russian energy dictionary. 2006] Energy topics in general EN emergency ... Technical Translator's Guide
Noun, g., used. compare often Morphology: (no) what? extremes, why? extremes, (see) what? extreme, what? extreme, about what? about extremes; pl. What? extremes, (no) what? extremes, why? extremes, (see) what? extremes, what? extremes, oh... Dmitriev's Explanatory Dictionary
See Mitigating Circumstances and Punishment... Encyclopedic Dictionary F.A. Brockhaus and I.A. Efron
J. abstract noun according to adj. extreme II Explanatory Dictionary of Efremova. T. F. Efremova. 2000...
EXTREME, and, female. 1. Extreme degree of something, excessive manifestation of something. To rush from one extreme to another, to move (about obvious inconsistency in decisions, actions; ind.). The character combines two extremes. Extremes meet... ... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language by Efremova Extremes, extremes, extremes, extremes, extremes, extremes, extremes, extremes, extremes, extremes, extremes, extremes (Source: “Complete accentuated paradigm according to A. A. Zaliznyak”) ... Forms of words
EXTREME, and, female. 1. Extreme degree of something, excessive manifestation of something. To rush from one extreme to another, to move (about obvious inconsistency in decisions, actions; ind.). The character combines two extremes. Extremes meet... ...- extreme, and... Russian spelling dictionary
AND; and. 1. Extreme degree of something, excessive manifestation of something. Avoid extremes when solving important issues. Fall into k. This is already k.! To bring someone to the extreme. (to drive someone crazy). 2. Something that is completely different from another... ... encyclopedic Dictionary
Books
- Super DJs: Triumph, Extremity and Emptiness, Dom Phillips. SuperDJs: Triumph, Extremity and Emptiness tells the honest, raw story of how the club scene, which began with pure enthusiasm, grew into a powerful business machine and...
- Hideyoshi, Daniel Eliseev. 1536: Fear spreads across Japan. The ancient management structures, centralized in the Chinese spirit, have been dissolved for more than four hundred years in the feudal relations of society...
