Causes of pedagogical conflicts. Children's conflicts and ways to resolve them Causes of conflicts in preschool children

consultation: Conflicts of preschool children.

Children's conflicts, their causes.

preschool age - a particularly responsible period in education, since it is the age of the initial formation of the child's personality. In ittime in the communication of the child with peers, rather complex relationships arise that significantly affect the development of his personality.Knowledge The peculiarities of relations between children in the kindergarten group and the difficulties that they have at the same time can provide serious assistance to adults in organizing educational work with preschool children.

At preschool age, the child's world is already, as a rule, inextricably linked with other children. And the older the child becomes, the more important contacts with peers become for him. Obviously, a child's communication with peers is a special area of his life, which differs significantly from communication with adults. Children are less attentive and friendly, they are usually not too eager to help each other, support and understand their peers. They can take away a toy, offend, not paying attention to tears. And yet, communication with other children brings an incomparable pleasure to a preschooler, children love to play together very much, but their game does not always go peacefully. Often conflicts, resentments and quarrels arise in it.

Consider two types of conflicts in preschoolers:domestic andexternal.

External conflicts arise in the sphere of business relations of children, however, for itslimits , as a rule, they do not go out and do not capture the deeper layers of relationships. Therefore, they are of a transient, situational nature and are usually resolved by the children themselves by establishing the norm of justice on their own. External conflicts are useful because they give the child the right toa responsibility , to a creative solution to a difficult, problematic situation and act as a regulator of fair, full-fledged relations between children.

Internal conflict occurs in preschoolers in the conditions of their leading play activity and is mostly hidden from observation. Unlike the external one, it is caused by contradictions connected not with the organizational part of the activity, but with the child’s activity itself, contradictions between the demands of peers and the child’s objective possibilities in play, or contradictions in the motives for the child’s play and peers. Such contradictions cannot be overcome by children without the help of adults.

The causes of conflicts can be:

- insufficient initiative of the child in establishing contacts with peers;

- lack of emotional aspirations between the players;

- various skills and abilities.

As a result, each in his own way meets the requirements of the teacher and peers and creates an attitude towards himself. A special role in the emergence of conflicts is played by interpersonal relationships, namely the ability to communicate.

D.B. Elkonin writes that in younger preschoolers, conflicts more often arise because of toys, in middle-aged preschoolers - because of roles, and at an older age - because of the rules of the game.

Ya.L. Kolomensky and B.P. Zhiznevsky supplement the causes of conflicts in the game and highlight the following:

- "destruction of the game" - the destruction of the game buildings, the game environment, as well as the imaginary game situation;

- "about the choice of a common theme of the game" - a dispute over what kind of joint game the children were going to play;

- “because of roles” - disagreements between children about who will perform the most attractive, or vice versa, unattractive role;

- "because of toys" - disputes over the possession of toys, game items and attributes;

- “about the plot of the game” - disagreements over how the game should go, what game situations, characters will be in it and what will be the actions of certain characters;

- “about the correctness of play actions” - disputes about whether this or that child acts correctly or incorrectly in the game.

Conflict is a “breakdown situation” of relationships, therefore it puts children in front of the need to understand the essence of these relationships and, consequently, to choose the means to restore them.

Almost all children from time to time conflict with each other, but only with some this happens rarely, with others - quite often. Some children, as a rule, react violently to misunderstandings that arise in joint activities with peers and initiate conflict themselves; for others, it comes to conflict only in extreme circumstances; the third - are included in the conflict, only involved in it by a partner and almost immediately try to get out of it.

Characteristics of conflict preschoolers.

In a children's team, difficult or conflicting children often provoke conflict situations:

Aggressives - bully others and become annoyed themselves if they are not listened to

Complainers - always complaining about something

Silent people are calm and laconic, but it is very difficult to find out what they want.

Overly accommodating - agree with everyone

Know-it-alls - consider themselves superior, smarter than others

Indecisive - slow to make decisions, afraid to make a mistake

Maximalists - want something right now

Hidden - harbor grievances and suddenly pounce on the offender

Innocent liars - mislead others with lies and deceit

There is also such a characteristic of conflict preschoolers:

"I'm always right" these kids

- most often initiate an acute collision;

- they never play alone, they need a partner;

- openly and rigidly dominate, rejecting any proposals of another child;

- they jealously follow the successes of other children, they strive to surpass them, to become the subject of everyone's attention.

"I am better than others" these children

- conflict often, sharply, actively and emotionally;

- demonstrate their superiority, arrogance in relation to their peers;

- impose their will on a partner in the game, react negatively to his resistance

- seek to draw attention to themselves, their knowledge, their activities.

"I am an adult - the main one" these children

- leaders, commanders, leaders;

- claim the main roles in everything, but diplomatically;

- they are mostly critical of their peers, especially if they themselves do not succeed in something;

- they know what, where and how to do, therefore, in interaction with peers, they often resort to prohibitions;

- accept peer suggestions only if they are useful to them.

"I will stand up for myself" these children

- sensitive to peers' attitude towards themselves, strive for contacts;

- very cautious, afraid of infringement of their interests;

- strive to show their abilities so that their peers recognize their value;

- strive for equality with peers and justice in relationships with them, appreciate their attention and interest in themselves.

"I'm good" these kids

- the least conflicting of the most conflicting preschoolers;

- are noticeably centered on themselves, they are afraid of negative assessments;

- strive for equal cooperation with peers;

- with any luck, they try to attract the attention of their peers so that they see and appreciate their luck.

All conflict preschoolers are characterized by high activity in the desire to interact with their peers and at the same time the inability to do this without conflicts, as well as obvious self-affirmation.

Methods for resolving conflicts in children's relationships.

In childhood, there are a great many conflict situations, and many of them are sometimes difficult to understand. All children's quarrels usually resolve themselves, and therefore they must be treated as natural phenomena of life. Small skirmishes and quarrels can be regarded as the first life lessons of interaction with people of the same circle (equals), with the outside world, a stage of learning by trial and error, without which a child cannot do.

Adults without special need should not enter into quarrels of children. It is necessary that they learn to independently get out of controversial situations and end conflicts.
The task of adults is to teach children some rules of life among other people, which include the ability to express one's desire, listen to the desire of another, and agree. At the same time, the child should be an equal participant in this process, and not just blindly obey the requirements of an adult or a stronger partner, find a way out of the current situation, options for resolving the conflict.

Conflict resolution is:

minimization of problems dividing the parties, carried out through the search for a compromise, reaching agreement

elimination in whole or in part of the causes that gave rise to the conflict

changing the goals of the participants in the conflict

reaching an agreement on a controversial issue between the participants

In resolving children's conflicts, the educator ensures that a "common language" is found, which is the result of understanding.
Becoming a mediator in resolving children's conflicts, the educator must take into account their characteristic features:

When resolving a conflict situation, the educator bears professional responsibility for the correct resolution of the conflict situation.

Adults and children have different social status, which determines their different behavior in conflict and its resolution.

The difference in age and life experience separates the positions of an adult and a child, gives rise to a different degree of responsibility for mistakes.

Different understanding of events and their causes by the participants, the conflict through the eyes of educators and children is seen differently

The presence of other children during the conflict turns them from witnesses into participants, and the conflict acquires an educational meaning.

The professional position of the educator is to take the initiative to resolve the conflict and put the interests of the emerging personality in the first place.

Children's conflicts are easier to prevent than to successfully resolve.

The type of behavior of the educator in resolving conflicts can be
— authoritarian - this educator more often notes the need to educate children in emotional and volitional qualities: perseverance, discipline, initiative, obedience, independence, diligence. Most of all, they are upset in children by indiscipline, noisiness, loudness, inability to behave in class, restlessness, lack of concentration, inability to listen. Most often, this teacher can hear the statements “Stop!”, “Put it down!”, “Don't run!”, “Don't fight!”, “You have to do it!”.

— Democratic - this educator believes that it is important to educate children in moral qualities: responsiveness, kindness, justice, honesty, politeness. They are upset by the lack of friendliness and goodwill towards their peers in children, the inability to make friends, play together, inattention, unwillingness to help a friend, dishonesty and cruelty. The educator adheres to the position of equal partnership, ensures mutual trust and creates good conditions for discussing any problem

— Anarchist-permissive - this is the educator who does not have a special education, the choice of profession for him is random.

In pedagogical practice, there are three main strategies for resolvingconflicts .

Ignore strategy. Undoubtedly, preschoolers get some experience of social conflict, but hardly get the experience of social reconciliation. If you do not help the warring parties to hear and understand each other, they themselves, as a rule, do not learn this.Fight - this is an extremely fierce point of conflict, and the vast majority of fighters themselves do not understand why they are drawn to fight. So if children's fights are ignored, they will resume again and again. And most importantly - children's souls will corrode the growing feeling of mutual hatred.

The strategy of suppression and punishment. The simplest and most common strategy is to scold fighters, drive them into corners, roughly punish them, and call their parents. Such a strategy leads to the fact that obvious conflicts fade, but some preschoolers conclude from this that it is necessary to sort things out with the help of fists secretly, in a secluded place. The conflict, not finished in the group, will continue beyond its borders. And for some kidsfight will be a sign of additional heroism: this is not only a fight with each other, but also an absentee fight with an adult punishing them.

Cooperation strategy . The most difficult and most effective strategy is that an adult helps children understand their inner experiences that led to the conflict, and together with them tries to invent and try out various ways of reconciliation. You can, of course, situationally reconcile quarreling children with some kind of universal pedagogical move - for example, to captivate with a game or some really interesting joint business. But only when the conflictnot since too deep. True, in any case, the experience of such reconciliation is obviouslysurface and only helps in a situational way. After all, conflict is just a marker of some kind of internal stress that preschoolers experience. Especially if the conflicts are renewed again and again, if the child is characterized by increased conflict.

When resolving a conflict, the teacher must:

- Firstly, to recognize the existence of opposing goals among the participants in the conflict, to identify these participants themselves. In practice, these issues are quite simple to resolve by external manifestations, since in a conflict, preschoolers react very emotionally to what is happening and report the conflict themselves.

- secondly, to identify the range of issues that make up the subject of the conflict. The main problem is to define in sharedterms what is in conflict and what is not. At this stage, approaches to the conflict are developed, the positions of the parties are identified, the points of greatest disagreement and points of possible convergence of positions are determined.

When resolving the conflict, the teacher bears professional responsibility for the correct resolution of the conflict situation: kindergarten is a model of society where pupils learn the social norms of relations between people.

Miscellaneousunderstanding events and their causes by the participants,conflict through the eyes of the teacher and children is seen differently. The presence of other preschoolers during the conflict turns them from witnesses into participants, and the conflict acquires an educational meaning.

The professional position of the teacher is to take the initiative to resolve the conflict and put the interests of the emerging personality in the first place. But still, children's conflicts are easier to prevent than to successfully resolve.Since the teacher is assigned the role of an observer-intermediary, his main goal is to purposefully influence to eliminate the causes that gave rise to the conflict, prevent the behavior of the participants in the conflict, ensure a normal exchange of predominantly verbal actions of the participants in the conflict, so that they listen and hear each other through the one who is between them. Therefore, for a teacher in a conflict, it is not the subject and material of the conflict that is important, but the formal side of the interaction, i.e. his organization.

Conclusion:

So, as a result of a theoretical analysis of the literature on the problem of conflicts between preschool children in play activities, we come to the followingconclusions:

Conflict is understood as the most acute way of resolving significant contradictions that arise in the process of interaction, which consists in countering the subjects of the conflict and is usually accompanied by negative emotions. The conflict has a certain structure: subject, object, subject, participants, conflict actions, conflict situation.

Among the reasons for the emergence of conflicts between preschoolers in the game, the following are noted: the destruction of the game, about the choice of the general theme of the game, about the composition of the participants in the game, because of the roles, because of the toys, about the plot of the game, about the correctness of the game actions.
A conflict situation develops into a conflict only with joint play actions of the child and peers. A similar situation arises in cases where there is a contradiction: between the requirements of peers and the child's objective capabilities in the game (the latter are below the requirements) or between the leading needs of the child and peers (needs are outside the game).

Having examined in more detail the emergence and development of types of conflict among preschoolers, delving deeper into their essence, we can judge which methods can be more effectively used to resolve this phenomenon and which game methods can be most effectively used for this purpose in educational psychology.

Games

SWAN, PIKE AND CANCER

Purpose of the game : to develop attention, physical endurance, coordination of movements, purposefulness.
Necessary materials and visual aids: a long and strong rope, 2 toys, cheerful music.
Game progress
This game can be played by 2 players. It is a variation on a famous fable. Participants are tied to each other with a rope by the belt. In this case, they are located back to back. At a distance of a meter from them, you need to put a toy or any other object. At the command of the facilitator, the participants must get the toy. Each of them needs to pull the opponent to their side. The game ends when one of the participants gets their toy.

INVESTIGATION

Purpose of the game : develop attention, memory, communication and analytical skills, observation.
Materials and visual aids needed: A slightly sheer curtain.
Game progress
All participants close their eyes, and the leader chooses one of them and puts him behind the curtain. Then everyone opens their eyes and the facilitator explains the task. The guys should find out who is behind the curtain (or just analyze who is missing among them). Then they must remember as many of his features as possible (the color of his eyes, what he is wearing, what kind of hair he has, etc.), i.e., they must give as accurate a portrait of him as possible. When the guys have expressed all their assumptions, the player hidden behind the curtain can go out, and everyone else can see how languid their description was.
If the participants in the game are very young, then the rules of the game can be explained before they close their eyes. So they can already purposefully analyze each other's appearance and remember much more distinctive qualities.

FUNNY CENTIPEDE

Purpose of the game : to develop communication skills, coordination, attention, observation.
Necessary materials and visual aids: cheerful music.
Game progress
This game is played by at least 6 people. More players are welcome.
All participants should stand one behind the other and put their hands on the shoulders of the person in front. The player who will be the first will be guiding and leading. The guys should watch the driver and follow strictly in his footsteps. With the help of music, you can speed up and slow down the movement. If the guys cope with this task, it can be complicated. The leader can show not only the direction, but also some intricate movements. For example, moving on one leg, moving in the rhythm of a lambada (music will help with this), some kind of hand manipulation, etc. Those participants who have not completed the task are eliminated from the chain.

SWAP YOUR PLACE

Purpose of the game : develop communication skills, attention, coordination, analytical skills.
Necessary materials and visual aids: chairs for each participant, except for one.
Game progress
This game is suitable for initial acquaintance. It helps to establish contact between children, contributes to the emergence of an informal atmosphere.
All participants, except for one (he will be the first driver), must sit on chairs. At this time, the facilitator should name some sign that is common to all (or some) of the participants. This can be hair color, gender, wardrobe details, etc. After he calls him, those participants to whom the named definition applies should change places. At the same time, the goal of the leader is to have time to take a chair himself. The participant who did not have time to sit on a chair becomes the new driver. He must name a new quality that can unite several participants. Now, on command, they should change places.
It is important for the presenter to make the message suddenly, in order to have time to take the place himself.

wax stick

Purpose: To consolidate the ability to act together with other children, to develop skills of empathy, trust in others.

Game progress: All members of the group stand close to each other, feeling each other. One of the participants becomes the center of the circle. The one who stands in the center (wax stick), closes his eyes and relaxes as much as possible; it is rocked by the rest of the band. It is desirable that each child in groups visit the place of the "wax stick".

Literature:

Galiguzova L.N. Stages of communication: from one to seven years. - M, 1992

Mukhina V.S. Age-related psychology. - M., 1998.

Nifontova O.V. Teaching children how to resolve conflict. - M, 2011

Smirnova E.O. Features of communication with preschoolers.-M, 2000.

D.V. No. 1 2003 T. Pavlenko, A. Ruzskaya Why do they conflict?

TWO quarreling - THE THIRD DOES NOT ME-SHAY?

Parents need to understand that conflicts are an inevitable stage in the growing up of a baby, since by finding a way out on his own, he learns to better understand and feel the emotions of other people, to make a compromise. When the first quarrels arise, you need to behave calmly and firmly with the child. If the baby pushes another crumb, takes away a toy, bites, it is better to immediately stop these actions, preventing the situation from aggravating. Toddlers older than three years old can be given the opportunity to resolve the dispute on their own, this will allow them to gain invaluable experience in conflict resolution. Of course, an adult must unobtrusively control this process. If you feel that passions are heating up, and the little "warriors" are ready to rush into the fray, you need to intervene. In this case, you need to manage to hold the hand of the offender, not giving the opportunity to hit another baby. Be sure to reinforce your actions with a sharp “No”! Children who have a past experience of a negative attitude of parents to their aggressive behavior can also be stopped by a strict call from an adult. Don't pull the kids away, put your hand between them and tell them you won't let them fight, but they can talk about what's going on. Don't try to figure out who started first and what actually happened until the kids calm down. Take the toy that caused the quarrel and explain to both that you will give it back when they can talk to each other calmly. When the children calm down, invite them to discuss what happened. The attitude of an adult towards children should be calm and respectful. Remember, in this situation you are an indispensable assistant, not a strict judge! It is you who must "resolve" children's conflicts and look for ways to resolve them. If children in the process of “debriefing” turn to an adult with their statements, it is necessary to explain to them that they should discuss the situation among themselves. For example: “Tell me, please, this is not for me, but for Misha, okay?” When involving children in the process of building relationships, try to find out who wants what, what caused the quarrel, and also explain how the conflict could be resolved peacefully. Children should take an active part in the discussion, offering their own solutions. But those that do not infringe on the rights of one of them. Such discussion helps to acquire skills for establishing relationships with peers, gives self-confidence and teaches to understand and take into account the feelings and desires of another person. After discussion, a general decision acceptable to all is made. It is good to look at an exhausted conflict from the outside and discuss together how it could have been avoided. In conclusion, do not forget to praise and support the children for their activity, highlight the value of each of the proposals. This will help the kids realize their contribution to the peaceful resolution of the situation. Teach children to switch toys, this will help to avoid conflicts and, over time, will teach them to understand the value of playing together.

IF IT'S GOING TO FIGHT...

More often this happens in a family where two children grow up with a small difference in age. In this case, the adult has to act when "everything is done." Despite this, you need to show the child that such behavior is unacceptable. Harsh words addressed to the offender and sympathetic attention to the victim will help to understand that the one who behaves in this way loses. Two points are also important here: firstly, your words should be directed at the address of negative behavior, and not the personality of the child (not “You are a fighter!”, But “You acted badly!”), Secondly, in normal times, the "offender" should enjoy the same attention and participation of parents. Do not force the child to apologize, he must come to this decision himself. You can use the “quiet corner” technique - send the child to calm down in a corner or another room, but the “link” should not last more than two to five minutes. I must say that this technique does not work for younger children, they are unlikely to understand the logical connection between their act and removal. In this case, it is better, looking strictly into the child’s eyes and firmly holding his hands, say: “You can’t fight!” or "You can't bite!" Do not stretch the punishment for the whole day and do not try to read morals for a long time and blame the child, the baby in this state is unlikely to understand what you are talking about. The most acceptable thing is to express your negative attitude towards the act and end this unpleasant incident as soon as possible. It is also unacceptable to provoke an offended child into retaliatory aggressive actions: “Go and fight back!” The kid can interpret these words as "instructions for use" and the only true way to resolve conflicts. In no case do not use threats and aggressive actions against children, this will only confirm them in their opinion that the one who is physically stronger is right. Remember also that, as a rule, both children are to blame for the conflict. Therefore, if there is no pronounced “injured party”, it is better to take both children to different rooms, reinforcing this action with the words: “If you cannot play calmly and not quarrel, play each separately.” Do not take sides in children's conflicts and how to resolve them. In a controversial situation, both children feel irritated and offended and equally need your sympathy. As a rule, children quickly forget about a quarrel. After being alone for a while and calming down, they begin to miss each other.

SENIOR AND JUNIOR - EVERYONE HAS OWN TRUTH

If you notice that the younger child is more often the injured party in the conflicts of children, do not rush to punish the elder. Often, the younger child literally "brings" the older one, provoking him into a fight, since he is younger and his parents are more likely to pity him than the older one. It's manipulation to a certain extent.

In this case, the older child should be explained that the younger one likes to control his emotions and his behavior. Therefore, the elder needs to try not to succumb to these provocations. It is also better not to punish or scold the older child in the presence of the younger one, but to sort out the essence of the conflict with him eye to eye. The older child becomes automatically "big" when the younger one appears. But he does not have to be forgiving and indulgent! Command notes in the voice of the elder in relation to the younger are a marker of our own appeal and attitude towards our own children. The elders willingly imitate the imperious intonations of the parents or use force in relation to the younger. Therefore, it is unacceptable for parents to use power and force in relation to children. Try to emphasize the positive aspects of the children's attitude towards each other. Often ask the older child to help the younger one, to teach him something new. Make sure he doesn't raise his voice to the younger one. But don't turn him into a babysitter! Only in a confidential conversation with our children and in the full acceptance of each of them as individuals, we can lay in the children's souls understanding and respect for a brother or sister.

WHY IS HE SO HARMFUL TODAY?

Sometimes parents are at a loss as to why the baby gets irritated from scratch, does not obey, behaves aggressively towards other children. The reason may be in his experiences, because not everything is calm in the family. He can't understand why adults are yelling at each other or why dad slammed the door and mom was crying. The baby transfers the accumulated tension and anxiety to other children: they implicitly begin to irritate him and become “guilty” that the child is so ill. He cannot express this in words, so he splashes out his nervousness in the conflict, receiving a discharge of negative emotions that have accumulated in the child's soul. As a rule, after such quarrels and fights, the child cannot explain the specific reasons for his extremely aggressive behavior. Also, children can use conflict to get the attention of adults, and subconsciously use this to get something from their parents. Perhaps the child lacks your attention and care. The kid provokes other children into a conflict, brings the situation to a fight, but, having received a rebuff, he runs to complain to his mother. Now he can “justifiably cry”, and his mother will certainly take pity on him, caress him. After that, he calms down. Think, maybe your child wants you to spend more time with him, needs a closer emotional contact with you? If the baby is often criticized and scolded at home, he can also take out his resentment and irritation on other children. And vice versa, if a child is overprotected and praised, he is the “navel of the earth” in his own family, whose desires are immediately fulfilled, he may not find understanding among his peers. After all, he expects the same attitude from everyone around him, but, of course, he does not receive it. Then, the child begins to achieve what he wants, provoking constant conflicts and quarrels. Therefore, when trying to teach a child effective communication skills, think about what needs to be changed in your own family, behavior and attitude towards the baby. I would like to note that children's quarrels deserve your attention! Correct intervention and assistance in finding a compromise is a guarantee that by school age your child will, in most cases, learn to find a way out of conflicts on his own. And if your help is needed, then the baby will always feel the reliable and strong shoulder of loving, attentive and caring parents!

PROFESSIONAL ADVICE

Tired of constant children's quarrels and conflicts? Both adults and children need to be patient, learn to compromise and try to remember effective conflict resolution techniques.

. Do not discuss or complain in front of your child to other adults about his negative behavior. He can establish himself in the opinion that nothing can be changed, and conflicts are inevitable.

Try once again not to remind the child of recent quarrels and conflicts, so as not to set him up in a hostile way.

Pay your child's attention to the emotions and feelings of other children, what mood they are in, what they are doing. For example: “Look how Volodya frowned, he must be dissatisfied with something now. Let's play with him when he's in the right mood. But Lenoch smiles, play with her for now! It is good to buy the board game "ABC of Emotions". It will help the child to distinguish emotions by facial expressions, which contributes to a better understanding of the mood and condition of other children.

Demonstrate an example of effective communication. Do not conflict with the child at home, do not swear and do not quarrel with the baby, try to pause if the situation is on the verge of conflict.

An effective technique for resolving a conflict over a toy can be "time-based" use of it. Help to understand that it is impossible for two children to have one toy at once if there is only one thing. You can split an apple into two halves, but you can't split a toy. After all, then it will be unsuitable for the game! "Turn" will teach children patience and the ability to find a compromise.

Games to relieve tension and discharge accumulated negative emotions are very suitable for conflict children. To calm them down, you can use elements of relaxation, psycho-gymnastics and games with water and sand.

Give children the opportunity to complain (but never snitch!), only if it happens before the fight. They will learn to consult and ask for help from adults, without bringing the situation to a fight.

Try to calmly analyze what is the true cause of your baby's conflict. This will help to find effective ways of correction through joint work with a child psychologist.

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1. Children's conflicts and ways to resolve them

Children's quarrels over a scoop, a car or the right to be the first to swing on a swing ... All parents, without exception, face them. And this is absolutely normal. When a child enters a children's group, conflicts arise. But it is through them that children learn to communicate, build relationships and play together without prejudice to the interests of another. But if some kids quarrel only from time to time, then others constantly cannot find contact with their peers, take away toys, fight. How to respond correctly when children quarrel, how to help them resolve the conflict and why is this happening? Children's conflicts and ways to resolve them are the topic of conversation for today.

TWO quarreling - THE THIRD DO NOT INTERFERE?

Parents need to understand that conflicts are an inevitable stage in the growing up of a baby, since by finding a way out on his own, he learns to better understand and feel the emotions of other people, to compromise. When the first quarrels arise, you need to behave calmly and firmly with the child. If the baby pushes another crumb, takes away a toy, bites, it is better to immediately stop these actions, preventing the situation from aggravating. Toddlers over three years old can be given the opportunity to resolve the dispute on their own, this will allow them to gain invaluable experience in conflict resolution. Of course, an adult should unobtrusively control this process. If you feel that passions are heating up, and the little "warriors" are ready to rush into the fray, you need to intervene. In this case, you need to have time to hold the hand of the offender, not giving the opportunity to hit another baby. Be sure to reinforce your actions with a sharp “No”! Children who have a past experience of a negative attitude of parents to their aggressive behavior can also be stopped by a strict call from an adult. Don't pull the kids away, put your hand between them and tell them you won't let them fight, but they can talk about what's going on. Don't try to figure out who started first and what actually happened until the kids calm down. Take the toy that caused the fight and explain to both that you will give it back when they can talk to each other calmly. Once the children have calmed down, invite them to discuss what happened. The attitude of an adult towards children should be calm and respectful. Remember, in this situation you are an indispensable assistant, not a strict judge! It is you who must "resolve" children's conflicts and look for ways to resolve them. If children in the process of “debriefing” turn to an adult with their statements, it is necessary to explain to them that they should discuss the situation among themselves. For example: “Tell me, please, this is not for me, but for Misha, okay?” As you involve the children in the relationship building process, try to figure out who wants what, what caused the quarrel, and explain how the conflict could have been resolved amicably. Children should take an active part in the discussion, offering their own solutions. But those that do not infringe on the rights of one of them. Such discussion helps to develop skills for building relationships with peers, gives self-confidence and teaches to understand and take into account the feelings and desires of another person. After discussion, a general decision acceptable to all is made. It is good to look at the exhausted conflict from the outside and discuss together how it could have been avoided. In conclusion, do not forget to praise and support the children for their activity, highlight the value of each of the proposals. This will help the kids realize their contribution to the peaceful resolution of the situation. Teach children to swap toys, this will avoid conflicts and, over time, will teach them to understand the value of playing together.

IF IT'S GOING TO FIGHT...

More often this happens in a family where two children grow up with a small difference in age. In this case, the adult has to act when "everything is done." Despite this, you need to show the child that such behavior is unacceptable. Harsh words to the offender and sympathetic attention to the victim will help to understand that the one who behaves in this way loses. Two points are also important here: firstly, your words should be directed to negative behavior, and not to the personality of the child (not “You are a fighter!”, But “You did badly!”), Secondly, in normal time " offender” should enjoy the same attention and participation of parents. Do not force the child to apologize, he must come to this decision himself. You can use the “quiet corner” technique - send the child to calm down in a corner or another room, but the “link” should not last more than two to five minutes. I must say that this technique does not work for younger children, they are unlikely to understand the logical connection between their act and removal. In this case, it is better, looking strictly into the child’s eyes and firmly holding his hands, say: “You can’t fight!” or "You can't bite!" Do not stretch the punishment for the whole day and do not try to read morals for a long time and blame the child, the baby in this state is unlikely to understand what you are talking about. The most acceptable thing is to express your negative attitude towards the act and end this unpleasant incident as soon as possible. It is also unacceptable to provoke an offended child into retaliatory aggressive actions: “Go and fight back!” The kid can interpret these words as "instructions for use" and the only true way to resolve conflicts. In no case do not use threats and aggressive actions against children, this will only confirm them in their opinion that the one who is physically stronger is right. Remember also that, as a rule, both children are to blame for the conflict. Therefore, if there is no pronounced “injured party”, it is better to separate both children into different rooms, reinforcing this action with the words: “If you cannot play calmly and not quarrel, play each separately.” Do not take sides in children's conflicts and how to resolve them. In a controversial situation, both children feel irritated and offended and equally need your sympathy. As a rule, children quickly forget about a quarrel. After being alone for a while and calming down, they begin to miss each other.

SENIOR AND JUNIOR - EVERYONE HAS OWN TRUTH

If you notice that the younger child is more often the injured party in the conflicts of children, do not rush to punish the older one. Often, the younger child literally "brings" the older one, provoking him into a fight, since he is younger and his parents are more likely to pity him than the older one. It's manipulation to a certain extent.

In this case, the older child should be explained that the younger one likes to control his emotions and his behavior. Therefore, the elder should try not to succumb to these provocations. It is also better not to punish or scold the older child in the presence of the younger one, but to sort out the essence of the conflict with him eye to eye. The older child automatically becomes "big" when the younger one appears. But he does not have to be forgiving and indulgent! Command notes in the voice of the elder in relation to the younger are a marker of our own appeal and attitude towards our own children. Seniors willingly imitate the imperious intonations of their parents or use force in relation to the younger. Therefore, it is unacceptable for parents to use power and force in relation to children. Try to emphasize the positive aspects of the children's attitude towards each other. Often ask the older child to help the younger one, to teach him something new. Make sure he doesn't raise his voice to the younger one. But don't turn him into a babysitter! Only in a confidential conversation with our children and full acceptance of each of them as individuals, we can lay in children's souls understanding and respect for a brother or sister.

WHY IS HE SO HARMFUL TODAY?

Sometimes parents are at a loss as to why the baby gets irritated from scratch, does not obey, behaves aggressively towards other children. The reason may be in his experiences, because not everything is calm in the family. He can't understand why adults are yelling at each other or why dad slammed the door and mom was crying. The kid transfers the accumulated tension and anxiety to other children: they implicitly begin to irritate him and become “guilty” for the fact that the child is so ill. He cannot express this in words, so he splashes out his nervousness in the conflict, receiving a discharge of negative emotions that have accumulated in the child's soul. As a rule, after such quarrels and fights, the child cannot explain the specific reasons for his extremely aggressive behavior. Also, children can use conflict to get the attention of adults, and subconsciously use this to get something from their parents. Perhaps the child lacks your attention and care. The kid provokes other children into a conflict, brings the situation to a fight, but, having received a rebuff, he runs to complain to his mother. Now he can “justifiably cry”, and his mother will certainly take pity on him, caress him. After that, he calms down. Think about it, maybe your child wants you to spend more time with him, needs a closer emotional contact with you? If the baby is often criticized and scolded at home, he can also take out his resentment and irritation on other children. And vice versa, if a child is overprotected and praised, he is the “navel of the earth” in his own family, whose desires are immediately fulfilled, he may not find understanding among his peers. After all, he expects the same attitude from everyone around him, but, of course, he does not receive it. Then, the child begins to achieve what he wants, provoking constant conflicts and quarrels. Therefore, when trying to teach your child effective communication skills, think about what needs to be changed in your own family, behavior and attitude towards the baby. I would like to note that children's quarrels deserve your attention! Correct intervention and assistance in finding a compromise is a guarantee that by school age your child will in most cases learn to independently find a way out of conflicts. And if your help is needed, then the baby will always feel the reliable and strong shoulder of loving, attentive and caring parents! conflict children's tension negative

PROFESSIONAL ADVICE

Tired of constant children's quarrels and conflicts? Both adults and children need to be patient, learn to compromise and try to remember effective conflict resolution techniques.

* Do not discuss or complain in front of your child to other adults about his negative behavior. He can establish himself in the opinion that nothing can be changed, and conflicts are inevitable.

* Try once again not to remind the child of recent quarrels and conflicts, so as not to set him up in a hostile way.

* Draw your baby's attention to the emotions and feelings of other children, what mood they are in, what they are doing. For example: “Look how Volodya frowned, he must be dissatisfied with something now. Let's play with him when he's in the mood. But Lenochka smiles, play with her for now! It is good to buy the board game "ABC of emotions". It will help the child to distinguish emotions by facial expressions, which contributes to a better understanding of the mood and condition of other children.

* Demonstrate an example of effective communication. Do not conflict with the child at home, do not swear or quarrel with the baby, try to pause if the situation is on the verge of conflict.

* An effective technique for resolving a conflict over a toy can be "time-based" use of it. Help to understand that it is impossible for two children to have one toy at once if there is only one thing. You can split an apple into two halves, but you can't split a toy. After all, then it will be unsuitable for the game! "Turn" will teach children patience and the ability to find a compromise.

* Games to relieve tension and discharge accumulated negative emotions are very suitable for conflict children. To calm them down, you can use elements of relaxation, psycho-gymnastics and games with water and sand.

* Give children the opportunity to complain (but never snitch!), only if it happens before a quarrel. They will learn to consult and ask for help from adults, without bringing the situation to a fight.

* Try to calmly analyze what is the true cause of your baby's conflict. This will help to find effective ways of correction through joint work with a child psychologist.

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Coursework in Pedagogy

"Anatomy" of children's conflicts and complaints. Causes of their occurrence and measures of pedagogical influence

Introduction

The study and prevention of negative phenomena in the behavior of children in any society is a problem of paramount importance. In this regard, the relevance of the study is determined by the recent prevalence of behavioral disorders in preschool children. And therefore, it is very important for me to study this problem and ways to overcome conflicts in order to expand my level of knowledge and learn as much as possible about the conflicts and complaints of preschool children in order to try to use various methods to resolve conflicts, to reduce the degree of conflict among preschool children.

For a long time in theory and practice, conflicts in pedagogical communication were evaluated unilaterally, as undesirable phenomena, a consequence of the erroneous line of behavior of the educator, his insufficient exactingness. It is pedagogical conflicts that are the most common, it is their overcoming that requires professional skills from the educator. The goal of education is not to win, to impose your decision on the child, but, on the contrary, to strengthen his will and mind, to awaken good feelings.

Dramatic changes in the social and economic spheres of life lead to an increase in tension in interpersonal relationships. Therefore, the problem of interpersonal conflicts and their positive resolution is of particular importance today.

There is no doubt that the specifics of behavior in conflict, the readiness or unwillingness to resolve conflict situations, begin to take shape in childhood.

It is at preschool age that ideas about conflict and conflict situations are formed, the nature of which largely determines the child's actual behavior in conflict.

Preschool age is a particularly important period in education. It is the age of the initial formation of the child's personality. At this time, in the communication of the child with peers, rather complex relationships arise, which significantly affect the development of his personality. Communication with peers plays an important role in the life of a preschooler. It is a condition for the formation of the social qualities of the child's personality, the manifestation and development of the beginnings of the collective relationships of children.

Communication is a necessary condition for the existence of a person and, at the same time, one of the main factors and the most important source of his mental development in ontogenesis. The child lives, grows and develops in the interweaving of various kinds of connections and relationships.

In preschool childhood, interpersonal relationships are formed that reflect the interrelationships of participants in the developmental situation. The study of deviations in the development of interpersonal relationships at the very first stages of personality formation seems to be relevant and important, primarily because the conflict in a child's relationships with peers can act as a serious threat to personal development. That is why information about the characteristics of the development of a child's personality in difficult, unfavorable conditions is of paramount importance.

At preschool age, the basic stereotypes of behavior, the psychological foundations of the most important relationships of the individual to the surrounding social world, to himself, begin to be laid, clarification of knowledge about the causes, nature, logic of the development of conflict relations.

The danger lies in the fact that the negative qualities that have appeared in the child due to the peculiarity of preschool age determine all the further formation of the personality, can be found in the new school team, and even in subsequent activities, preventing the development of full-fledged relationships with people around them, their own worldview. The need for early diagnosis and correction of violations of communication with peers is caused by the significant circumstance that in each group of any kindergarten there are children whose relations with their peers are significantly distorted, and their very ill-being in the group has a stable, long-term character.

Many domestic and foreign researchers addressed the problem of children's conflicts and deviant forms of behavior at preschool age: L.S. Vygotsky, D.B. Elkonin, A.V. Zaporozhets, Ya.L. Kolominsky and others.

The purpose of the research work: to study the problem of conflicts and complaints in preschool children and consider possible ways to overcome them for practical application.

Research objectives:

1. Define the essence of the concepts of conflict, conflict and complaints;

2. Describe the types of conflicts between preschool children that arise in the process of playing activities;

3. Identify the causes of conflicts and ways in which children influence each other during a game conflict.

Object: conflicts and complaints of preschoolers.

Subject: ways to prevent and resolve children's conflicts and complaints.

Hypothesis: If you conduct targeted preventive work, teach children to resolve conflict situations, work in cooperation with parents, the degree of conflict can be reduced.

Research methods: observation, experiment, questionnaires, tests, conversations with a teacher, with parents, analysis of literary sources.

complaint game conflict preschool

1. "Anatomy" of children's conflicts and complaints. Causes of their occurrence and measures of pedagogical influence

1.1 The essence of the concepts of conflict, conflict, complaints

Currently, conflicts are considered as a complex social phenomenon and an inevitable companion of social relations. They manifest and resolve the contradictions that arise between people, groups, social communities. Common interests and claims can become the basis for a strong and stable friendship, or they can lead to ongoing skirmishes, contradictions, conflicts and hostility in a relationship.

Few people approve of conflict processes, but almost everyone participates in them. This happens because of the peculiarities of our psyche and the fact that most people do not know about them, or do not attach importance to them. The main role in the emergence of conflicts is played by the so-called conflictogens, i.e. "Contributing to Conflict" At its core, conflictogens are those words, actions (or inactions) that can lead to conflict.

Conflicts arise due to the prevailing disharmony of interpersonal relations between people in a society or group, or where and when something, some thing or phenomenon cannot be divided. It can be power, rightness, territory, a toy, love, etc. Usually, contradictions between interests, values, goals, motives, roles lead to conflicts. In conflict, confrontation is present, attempts are made to impose one's will on the enemy, change his behavior, or even eliminate him altogether.

In this regard, conflict is understood as a type of social interaction in which each side seeks to take possession of an object that has the property of indivisibility. Disputes, quarrels, protracted positional struggle, rupture of relations, defiant refusal to communicate, demonstration of one's strength, and sometimes its open use, opposition of opinions, struggle for one's rights - all these are numerous manifestations of conflicts.

Conflict is understood as the most acute way of resolving significant contradictions that arise in the process of interaction, which consists in countering the subjects of the conflict and is usually accompanied by negative emotions. If the subjects of the conflict resist, but do not experience negative emotions at the same time (for example, in the process of discussion, combat sports), or, conversely, experience negative emotions, but do not show them outwardly, do not oppose each other, then such situations are pre-conflict situations.

Counteraction of the subjects of the conflict can unfold in three areas: communication, behavior, activities.

The signs of conflict are:

the presence of a situation perceived by the participants as a conflict,

indivisibility of the object of the conflict, i.e. the object of the conflict cannot be divided between the participants in the conflict interaction;

the desire of participants to continue conflict interaction to achieve their goals, and not a way out of the situation.

Conflict confrontation involves the definition of the area (problem) of contradiction, i.e. the subject of the conflict.

The subject of the conflict is an objectively existing or imaginary problem that causes contention between the parties (the problem of power, primacy, compatibility of employees).

Hence the subject of the conflict - the participants in the conflict, opponents, whose interests are directly affected.

The object of the conflict is what each of the conflicting parties claims, which causes their opposition, a specific material (resource), social (power) or spiritual (idea, principle) value.

Conflicts take place in space, in time and with the participation of a number of subjects. There are temporal (the duration of the conflict in time), spatial (determination of the territory within which the conflict occurs) and subjective (the number of main participants) of its boundaries.

Due to the fact that conflicts have a very different nature of occurrence, their number and variety is great. The classification of conflicts is carried out in accordance with a number of factors: the way they are resolved (violent, non-violent), the sphere of manifestation (political, social, economic, organizational); impact orientation (vertical, horizontal), degree of severity (open, hidden); the number of participants (intrapersonal, interpersonal, intergroup); the presence of an object of conflict (objective, non-objective), affected needs (interests, views).

Fundamentally, the division of conflicts into internal (intrapersonal) and external (interpersonal and intergroup).

These conflicts perform different: positive and negative functions. Positive functions characterize how this conflict can be useful for its participants. The negative functions of the conflict are determined by the costs (emotional, material, temporal and other) of resources for participation in the conflict and overcoming its consequences.

The conflict, according to N.V. Grishina, goes through the following stages of development:

the emergence of an objective conflict situation (or pre-conflict situation);

ü awareness of the situation as a conflict;

- conflict interaction (or conflict itself);

o conflict resolution.

The pre-conflict situation, according to G.I. Kozyrev, is the growth of tension in relations between potential subjects of the conflict, caused by certain contradictions. Only those contradictions that are recognized by potential subjects of the conflict as incompatible lead to an aggravation of social tension. Social tension is a psychological state of people and before the start of the conflict is latent (hidden) in nature.

In real life, the causes of social tension may overlap or be replaced by one another.

The problem of identifying the causes of conflicts occupies a key place in the search for ways to prevent them and constructively resolve them. Without knowledge of the driving forces behind the development of conflicts, it is difficult to exert an effective regulatory influence on them. On the basis of only descriptive models of the conflict, it is inappropriate to decisively intervene in its natural development. Such intervention is justified when we not only know what happens during the conflict, but we can also answer the question of why events develop in this way and not otherwise.

At the heart of the conflict, according to E.M. Babosov, are subjective-objective contradictions. Contradictions can exist for a long period and not develop into a conflict. Therefore, the conflict is based only on those contradictions caused by incompatible interests, needs and values. Such contradictions are transformed into an open struggle of the parties, into a real confrontation. Conflict interaction occurs only when in the very depths of social life there are objective prerequisites for the emergence of a conflict situation.

Conflicts initially occur as a result of a violation of the balance of interests of two or more parties.

The emergence and development of conflicts is due to the action of four groups of factors and causes:

b objective,

l organizational and managerial,

b socio-psychological,

l personal.

The first two groups of factors are objective, the third and fourth are subjective.

Understanding the objective-subjective nature of the causes of conflicts will be very useful in the future in determining ways to prevent interpersonal conflicts, developing optimal strategies for people's behavior in typical conflicts.

The objective causes of conflicts include mainly those circumstances of social interaction between people that led to a clash of their interests, opinions, attitudes, etc. Objective reasons lead to the creation of a pre-conflict situation - an objective component of a pre-conflict situation.

The subjective causes of conflicts are mainly related to those individual psychological characteristics of the opponents, which lead to the fact that they choose exactly the conflict, and not any other way of resolving the created objective contradiction. A person does not agree to a compromise solution to the problem, does not give in, does not avoid conflict, does not try to discuss and, together with the opponent, mutually beneficially resolve the contradiction that has arisen, but chooses a counteraction strategy. In almost any pre-conflict situation, there is the possibility of choosing a conflict or one of the non-conflict methods of resolving it. The reasons why a person chooses a conflict, in the context of what has been said above, are mainly subjective.

So, conflict is an open confrontation, a clash of two or more subjects and participants in social interaction, the causes of which are incompatible needs, interests and values. The conflict has a certain structure: subject, object, subject, participants, conflict actions, conflict situation.

Between children of preschool age, a fairly wide range of relationships is found. The practice of educational work in kindergarten shows that the relationship of children in the kindergarten group does not always work out well.

Memories of conflicts usually evoke unpleasant associations: threats, hostility, misunderstanding, attempts, sometimes hopeless, to prove one's case, resentment. As a result, there was an opinion that conflict is always a negative phenomenon, undesirable for each of us, and especially for leaders and managers, since they have to deal with conflicts more often than others. Conflicts are seen as something to be avoided whenever possible.

Representatives of the early schools of management, including supporters of the school of human relations, believed that conflict is a sign of ineffective organization and poor management. Nowadays, management theorists and practitioners are increasingly inclined to the point of view that some conflicts, even in the most effective organization with the best relationships, are not only possible, but also desirable. You just need to manage the conflict. The role of conflicts and their regulation in modern society is so great that in the second half of the 20th century a special field of knowledge emerged - conflictology. A great contribution to its development was made by sociology, philosophy, political science and, of course, psychology.

Conflicts arise in almost all spheres of human life.

What is conflict?

There are various definitions of conflict, but they all emphasize the presence of contradiction, which takes the form of disagreement when it comes to human interaction. Conflicts may be covert or overt, but they are based on a lack of agreement. Therefore, we define conflict as the lack of agreement between two or more parties - individuals or groups.

The lack of agreement is due to the presence of a variety of opinions, views, ideas, interests, points of view, etc. However, as already noted, it is not always expressed in the form of a clear collision, conflict. This happens only when the existing contradictions, disagreements disrupt the normal interaction of people, impede the achievement of goals. In this case, people are simply forced to somehow overcome differences and enter into open conflict interaction. In the process of conflict interaction, its participants get the opportunity to express different opinions, to identify more alternatives when making a decision, and this is precisely the important positive meaning of the conflict. This, of course, does not mean that the conflict is always positive.

A simple offense can eventually lead to the manifestation of cruelty towards one's opponents or offenders. Conflict processes can force people to play roles that are contrary to their inner nature.

Difficulties arising in extinguishing and localizing conflicts require their study and careful analysis, establishing possible causes and consequences.

In modern conditions, the problem of effective conflict resolution is becoming relevant in terms of improving the emotional climate of interpersonal interaction, which is a necessary component of the success of this process.

Recently, the attitude towards conflicts and the practice of working with them is considered from the following positions:

* conflict is normal, it is a common feature of social systems, it is inevitable and unavoidable, and therefore acts as a natural fragment of human life;

* it should not be perceived as an unambiguously destructive phenomenon, leading to destruction, it is one of the main processes that play a constructive role in maintaining the viability and stability of the social whole; conflict contains positive potentialities and productive confrontation occurs because conflict leads to change, change leads to adaptation, adaptation leads to survival; conflict can be managed; it can be worked with, reducing its destructive consequences and enhancing its constructive possibilities.

Thus, the study of conflict as an inevitable and inevitable phenomenon, acting as a natural fragment of human life, allows you to better understand the causes of conflicts and find ways to prevent or resolve conflicts.

Everyone who deals with preschool children in one way or another, whether in the family or in kindergarten, faces complaints from children. Adults treat children's complaints differently.

Some believe that this is not such an important moment in a child's life to pay special attention to it, and children's complaints can or even should be neglected. Others see in this undesirable features in the development of the child's personality, namely: manifestations of snitching, denunciation, lack of independence, weakness. And the only thing that an adult should do in this case is to forbid children to complain. From such adults, children often hear in response to their complaints: “Decide all your affairs yourself!” “Deal with yourself!” "What do you want from me? Why are you telling me all this?” "Don't go complaining to me anymore." Still others believe that when complaining, the child asks for help in the process of mastering the norms of relationships in human society and, therefore, needs special attention and participation of an adult. This point of view on children's complaints was shared by Jan Korczak, Anton Makarenko and a number of other well-known teachers and psychologists.

Complaints are most often found in children who first crossed the threshold of a children's institution and are still not sufficiently accustomed to it. The kid relentlessly follows the adult and constantly complains about something: either his finger hurts, or his head hurts. The examination shows that the child is healthy. As soon as an adult strokes a child, hugs him, the pain subsides, and he begins to talk about his loved ones. A scratch or a bruise is just an excuse to attract the attention of an older person, to talk with him about what really “hurts”: about loved ones with whom the child was separated for the first time. He is looking for the sympathy of an adult and his consent in the appreciation of the child's loved ones.

1.2 Types of conflicts between preschool children that arise in the process of playing activities

Children come to kindergarten with different emotional attitudes, heterogeneous claims, and at the same time with different skills and abilities. As a result, each in his own way meets the requirements of the educator and peers and creates an attitude towards himself.

In turn, the requirements and needs of others find a different response from the child himself, the environment turns out to be different for children, and in some cases - extremely unfavorable. A child's trouble in the preschool group can manifest itself ambiguously: as uncommunicative or aggressively sociable behavior. But regardless of the specifics, children's trouble is a very serious phenomenon, behind it, as a rule, lies a deep conflict in relationships with peers, as a result of which the child remains alone among children.

Interpersonal relationships (relationships) are a diverse and relatively stable system of selective, conscious and emotionally experienced connections between members of the contact group.

Consideration of the phenomenon of children's relationships, against which the conflict unfolds, allows us to proceed to its description and analysis. Interpersonal relationships of preschoolers are very complex, contradictory, and often difficult to interpret.

Communication with children is a necessary condition for the psychological development of the child. The need for communication early becomes his basic social need. Communication with peers plays an important role in the life of a preschooler. It is a condition for the formation of the social qualities of the child's personality, the manifestation and development of the beginnings of the collective relationships of children in the kindergarten group.

At present, in the theory and practice of preschool pedagogy, more and more importance is attached to children's collective activities in the classroom. Joint activities unite children with a common goal, task, joys, sorrows, feelings for a common cause. There is a distribution of responsibilities, coordination of actions. By participating in joint activities, the child learns to yield to the wishes of peers or to convince them that he is right, to make efforts to achieve a common result.

The ability of children to work together is studied in the context of the interaction of children in a joint (or social) game. At the same time, adaptation to partners during the game, types of social interaction in the game (toy exchange, physical contact, conversation, etc.) are studied, various types of social reactions are distinguished.

The game is understood as a special cultural formation created by society in the course of its historical development. In relation to the preschool age, the game is considered as the leading activity that determines the mental development of the child. In the game, the main neoplasms of this age appear. The specificity of children's play lies in the fact that it has a substitutive character in relation to the activities of adults and serves as a means of realizing the desire of the child to participate in "adult" life. I.V. Mavrina emphasizes that in order to develop play activities, a child needs contacts with adults and other children, during which he acquires ways and skills of playing together. In games with peers, children learn to manage their behavior together, creatively and voluntarily, which, in turn, is a necessary condition for any activity.

From the point of view of D.B. Elkonin, the game is social in its content, in its nature, in its origin, i.e. arises from the conditions of the child's life in society.

Of particular importance for the development of the child's personality, for the assimilation of elementary moral norms, are relations about the game, since it is here that the learned norms and rules of behavior are formed and really manifest themselves, which form the ability to communicate in a group of peers.

The role-playing game is distinguished by the fact that its action takes place in a certain conditional space. The room suddenly becomes a hospital, or a store, or a busy thoroughfare. And the children playing take on the appropriate roles (doctor, seller, driver). In a story game, as a rule, there are several participants, since any role involves a partner: a doctor and a patient, a seller and a buyer, etc.

L.I. Bozhovich notes that the main line of development of the child is the gradual liberation from a specific situation, the transition from situational communication to extra-situational. Such a transition is not easy for a child, and an adult needs to make certain efforts so that the child can overcome the pressure of the perceived situation. But in the game, such a transition occurs easily and naturally.

By forming extra-situational communication, we prepare or improve children's play activities. And by organizing a role-playing game (offering children new stories, roles, showing how to play), we contribute to the development of their communication. And yet, although children love to play together, their game is not always peaceful. Very often conflicts, insults, quarrels arise in it.

A conflict situation develops into a conflict only with joint play actions of the child and peers. A similar situation arises in cases where there is a contradiction: between the requirements of peers and the child's objective capabilities in the game (the latter are below the requirements) or between the leading needs of the child and peers (needs are outside the game). In both cases, we are talking about the lack of formation of the leading play activity of preschoolers, which contributes to the development of the conflict. The reasons may be the child's lack of initiative in establishing contacts with peers, the lack of emotional aspirations between the players, when, for example, the desire to command prompts the child to leave the game with his beloved friend and join the game with a less pleasant, but pliable peer; lack of communication skills. As a result of such interactions, two types of contradictions may arise: a mismatch between the demands of peers and the child's objective capabilities in play, and a mismatch in the motives for the child's play and peers.

Thus, according to Royak A.A., Repina T.A., two types of conflicts should be considered in preschoolers who experience difficulties in communicating with peers: conflict in operations and conflict in motives.

It is also necessary to clearly define the concept of the internal conflict itself, since. in the literature, the concepts of internal and external conflicts are not clearly distinguished.

External obvious conflicts among preschoolers are generated by contradictions that arise when they organize joint activities or in the process of it. External conflicts arise in the sphere of children's business relations, however, as a rule, they do not go beyond it and do not capture deeper layers of interpersonal relations. Therefore, they are of a transient, situational nature and are usually resolved by the children themselves by establishing the norm of justice on their own. External conflicts are useful, as they give the child the right to responsibility, to a creative solution to a difficult, problematic situation and act as a regulator of fair, full-fledged relations between children. Modeling of such conflict situations in the pedagogical process can be considered as one of the effective means of moral education.

An internal psychological conflict arises in preschoolers in the conditions of their leading play activity and is mostly hidden from observation.

Unlike the external one, it is caused by contradictions connected not with the organizational part of the activity, but with the activity itself, with its formation in the child, contradictions between the requirements of peers and the child's objective capabilities in the game, or contradictions in the motives of the child's and peers' play. Such contradictions cannot be overcome by children without the help of adults. Under the conditions of these contradictions, the inner emotional comfort of the child, his positive emotional well-being is infringed, he cannot satisfy his essential needs, not only business but also personal relationships are distorted, and psychological isolation from peers arises. The function of internal conflicts is purely negative; they hinder the formation of full-fledged, harmonious relations and the formation of personality.

1.3 Causes of conflicts and ways of influencing children on each other during a game conflict

Ya.L. Kolominsky and B.P. Zhiznevsky note the importance of studying children's conflicts. They are considered not just as negative phenomena in children's lives, but as special, significant situations of communication that contribute to mental development in general and the formation of personality. It is emphasized that an adult needs to know the possible causes of children's conflicts, predict the behavior of children in accordance with their age, and specifically teach children the most optimal ways to communicate in them.

When identifying the causes of conflicts, Ya.L. Kolominsky and B.P. Zhiznevsky proceeded from the fact that the game, like other types of joint activities, has a certain communicative and organizational basis. This includes a number of organizational tasks of activity, such as choosing a topic for a common game, determining the composition of its participants, distributing roles, etc. They suggested that conflicts between children arise precisely when solving such communicative and organizational tasks.

In this regard, seven main causes of conflict have been identified:

sh destruction of the game;

Ш concerning the choice of the general theme of the game;

Ш about the composition of the participants in the game;

Sh because of the roles;

Sh because of toys;

Ш about the plot of the game;

Ш about the correctness of game actions.

In addition, speaking about the change with age in the causes of conflicts between preschool children, D.B. Elkonin expressed the opinion that in younger children, conflicts most often arise because of toys, in children of middle preschool age - because of roles, and at an older age, because of the rules of the game.

Also interesting are the studies of Ya.L. Kolominsky and B.P. Zhiznevsky on the problem of ways in which children influence each other during a game conflict. When considering the characteristics of children's behavior during the conflict, they analyzed more than 3000 acts of behavior in the form of appropriate statements, actions and other forms of influence on peers.

At the same time, the following ways of influencing children on other participants in the game conflict were identified:

"Indirect influence" - in this case, the child influences the opponent through other people. This includes complaints about a peer teacher, crying, screaming in order to attract the attention of an adult, as well as influence with the help of other children involved in the conflict to confirm their claims.

“Psychological impact” - this includes such methods of influencing the opponent that are addressed directly to him, but this is carried out at the level of crying, screaming, stamping his feet, grimacing, etc., when the child does not explain his claims, but exerts a certain psychological effect on the opponent pressure.

“Verbal influence” - in this case, speech is already the means of influence, but these are mainly various instructions to the opponent what he should do or what he should not do. These are statements like “Give it back”, “Go away”, a kind of marking of one’s own actions - “I will be a doctor”, refusal to perform the action required by the partner, as well as questions that require a specific answer, for example, “Where are you doing the car?”. In the latter case, the peer must also perform a certain action, but not a subject, but a verbal one.

"Threats and sanctions" - this includes such statements in which children warn rivals about the possible negative consequences of their actions, - for example, "I'll tell you"; threats to destroy the game - "I won't play with you"; threats to break off relations in general - “I’m no longer friends with you”, as well as various interjections and words pronounced with a threatening intonation: “Well!”, “Oh, so!”, “Got it?” etc.

"Arguments" - this includes statements with the help of which children try to explain, substantiate their claims or show the illegality of the claims of rivals. These are statements like “I am the first”, “This is mine”, statements about my desire - “I also want”, an appeal to my position in the game - “I am a teacher and I know how to teach”, rhetorical questions like “Why did you break everything ?”, “Why did you come here?”, in which a negative assessment of the partner’s actions is clearly visible, as well as direct assessments of your own actions and the actions of your opponents (“You don’t know how to play”, “I know better how to treat”) and various offensive nicknames, teasers, etc. This group also includes cases when children try to appeal to certain rules, for example, “You must share”, “The seller must be polite”, etc.

In children aged one to three years, the main "argument" in disputes with peers is the use of certain means of physical influence. At the age of 3-4 years, a certain turning point occurs and methods of “verbal influence” come to the fore, and subsequently there is an increasing use of various justifications for one’s actions with the help of various explanations of one’s behavior and the behavior of peers, self- and mutual assessments of oneself and partners in the game .

Such forms of children's behavior in a situation of game conflict as "physical influence" and "arguments" have quite pronounced tendencies to decrease and increase, respectively. In turn, the methods of "verbal influence" reach their climax at the age of 3-4 years, and then gradually decline.

On the whole, the special significance of the middle preschool age as a certain turning point in the development of joint play in children should be noted. Here, for the first time, the predominance of methods of “verbal influence” on rivals in a conflict situation over the means of open pressure is noted. In other words, the conflict as an open confrontation with the use of physical force evolves in a certain way and more and more turns into a verbal dispute, i.e. there is a certain "cultivation" of children's behavior in the process of realizing their desires. First, physical actions are replaced by words, then verbal methods of influence become more complicated and appear in the form of various kinds of justifications, assessments, which, in turn, opens the way to discussing controversial issues and finding a mutually acceptable solution.

So, as a result of a theoretical analysis of the literature on the problem of conflicts between preschool children in play activities, we come to the following conclusions:

Conflict is understood as the most acute way of resolving significant contradictions that arise in the process of interaction, which consists in countering the subjects of the conflict and is usually accompanied by negative emotions. The conflict has a certain structure: subject, object, subject, participants, conflict actions, conflict situation.

A conflict situation develops into a conflict only with joint play actions of the child and peers. A similar situation arises in cases where there is a contradiction: between the requirements of peers and the child's objective capabilities in the game (the latter are below the requirements) or between the leading needs of the child and peers (needs are outside the game). The unfavorable relations of the child with peers, his deep conflict with them are generated by the insufficient formation of the leading activity of the child. The insufficient formation of game operations and distortions in its motives are singled out as the main cause of internal conflicts among preschoolers. In accordance with the reasons, two types of such conflicts are differentiated: a conflict when the operational side of play activity is not formed and a conflict when the motivational basis of activity is distorted.

Having examined in more detail the emergence and development of types of conflict among preschoolers, delving deeper into their essence, we can judge which methods can be more effectively used to diagnose this phenomenon and which game methods can be most effectively used for this purpose in educational psychology.

2. EXPERIMENTAL STUDY OF THE FEATURES OF THE ORIGINATION OF CONFLICTS BETWEEN CHILDREN IN THE PLAY

2.1 Studying the occurrence of conflicts and ways to resolve them in the younger group

Based on a theoretical analysis of the psychological and pedagogical literature on the research problem, I formulated the following hypothesis: the main causes of conflicts change with the age of the child: the older the child, the more diverse the causes of conflicts.

To confirm or refute this hypothesis, I conducted an experimental study in which 43 preschoolers (15 children of the younger group, 14 children of the middle group and 14 children of the older group) and 3 kindergarten teachers took part.

The purpose of the study: to identify the causes of conflicts in preschool children and to trace the age dynamics of changes in these causes.

Research objectives:

To select methods for identifying the main causes of occurrence and ways to resolve conflicts between children.

Conduct an experimental study and, based on the results of the experiment, draw a conclusion about the nature of the change in the causes of the occurrence and ways of resolving conflicts between children in play activities.

Research methods: observation, conversation.

Observation is one of the most important methods of collecting information in the process of research in the field of education. Psychological and pedagogical observation consists in the direct perception of phenomena with the help of the senses or in their indirect perception through a description by other people who directly observed them.

In modern conditions, the main object in pedagogical research is the activity of the child. Important objects of observation are objects and things that belong to the child (textbooks, notebooks, crafts). The most important object of observation is also the child's action in a particular situation: in a lesson, in a game, while on duty, on an excursion.

Scientific observation differs from everyday observation in the fixation of facts: it is carried out according to a special observation plan; each fact is recorded according to a well-thought-out system; in order to avoid subjectivism, all observable facts are subject to fixation, and not just what coincides with the research hypothesis, otherwise the researcher may make the mistake of “paternal attitude to the hypothesis”; Facts and events must be recorded immediately after observation and not put off for a long time so as not to forget the details.

Scientific observation differs from the ordinary perception of phenomena in the following parameters: purposefulness, systematic, carried out within the framework of a certain scientific theory, is analytical and complex, all observed facts are recorded.

When using the observation method, it is recommended to follow some rules. It is necessary to achieve a hidden position of an observer, not to pressure with your presence, not to influence students with your authority, so that the picture of the process is not distorted. At the time of observation, the facts must be recorded with maximum accuracy. Explanation and interpretation, all conclusions can be drawn later.

The technique for recording the results of observation can be protocol, diary, matrix, and using technical means (cinema, video, photo, phono, etc.).

In order to identify the main causes of conflicts and ways to resolve them between children, I observed the behavior of children during various games, mainly role-playing, as well as mobile, building, board, etc., i.e. during those games that children organized independently during their stay in kindergarten. The choice of conflicts in the game was due to the fact that for children the game is the most significant activity and here conflicts between them most often arise.

The causes of conflicts were grouped in accordance with the classification proposed by Ya.L. Kolominsky and B.P. Zhiznevsky. They identified the following main causes of conflict:

"Destruction of the game" - this included such actions of children that interrupted or impeded the process of play, for example, the destruction of play buildings, the play environment, as well as the imaginary play situation.

“About the choice of the general theme of the game” - in these cases, the dispute arose because of what kind of joint game the children were going to play.

“About the composition of the participants in the game” - here the question of who exactly would play this game, i.e. who to include in the game, and who to exclude.

“Because of roles” - these conflicts arise mainly due to disagreements between children about who will perform the most attractive or, conversely, unattractive role.

"Because of toys" - disputes due to the possession of toys, game items and attributes are included here.

“About the plot of the game” - in these cases, the children argue about how the game should go, what game situations, characters will be in it, and what the actions of certain characters will be.

“About the correctness of play actions” are disputes about whether this or that child acts correctly or incorrectly in the game.

Ways to resolve conflicts between children, I classified as follows:

"Physical impact" - this includes such actions when children, especially younger ones, push each other, fight, and also take away toys, scatter them, take someone else's place in the game, etc.

"Indirect influence" - in this case, the child influences the opponent through other people.

“Psychological impact” - this includes such methods of influencing an opponent that are addressed directly to him, but this is carried out at the level of crying, screaming, stamping his feet, grimacing, etc.

“Verbal influence” - in this case, speech is already the means of influence, but these are mainly various instructions to the opponent what he should do or what he should not do.

"Threats and sanctions" - this includes such statements in which children warn rivals about the possible negative consequences of their actions.

"Arguments" - this includes statements with the help of which children try to explain, substantiate their claims or show the illegality of the claims of rivals.

In addition, we also conducted a survey with teachers of the junior, middle and senior groups of the kindergarten in order to identify the causes of conflicts and ways to resolve them. We invited educators to answer the questions of the questionnaire presented in Appendix 1.

Questioning methods, which include conversation, interviews and questionnaires, are a tool for sociological research, from where they were borrowed by teachers and psychologists.

Questioning is a method of collecting primary material in the form of a written survey of a large number of respondents in order to collect information using a questionnaire about the state of certain aspects of the educational process, attitudes towards certain phenomena.

The questionnaire is a methodological tool for obtaining primary sociological and socio-pedagogical information based on verbal communication.

So, according to the results of the survey of the teacher of the younger group, conflicts between children of this age most often arise because of toys.

As a result of observing the play activity of children in the younger group, we found out the following:

in total, during the observation period, we registered 22 conflicts between children;

the largest number of conflicts arises from the possession of toys - 16 conflicts out of 22 registered, which is 72.6%;

due to the destruction of the game - 5 conflicts out of 22 (22.8%);

1 (4.6%) conflict between children "due to the distribution of roles."

These data are listed in Table 1.

Table 1

Regarding the ways to resolve conflicts between children, the teacher of the younger group noted "physical influence" as the most common way to resolve conflicts between children aged 2-3 years.

As a result of observing children in terms of ways to resolve conflicts, we recorded the following results:

the most common way to resolve conflicts between children - physical impact - 8, which is 36.4%;

5 (22.5%) and 4 (18.2%) times the children used verbal and psychological influence, respectively, as a way to resolve conflicts;

3 times (13.7%) such method as “arguments” was recorded;

1 each (4.6%) - threats and sanctions and indirect impact.

These data are listed in table 2.

table 2

Thus, based on the results of the questioning of the educator and observation of the children of the younger group, I draw the following conclusion: most often conflicts at this age arise because of toys, and the most common way to resolve conflicts between children is physical impact.

2.2 Studying the occurrence of conflicts and ways to resolve them in the middle group

As a result of a survey of a teacher of the middle group of a kindergarten, I found out that most often conflicts between children arise because of roles in games and about the possession of toys.

Observation of the play activity of the children of this group confirmed this statement of the educator. With 20 conflicts registered during the observation:

most conflicts were still registered because of toys - 7 conflicts out of 20 registered (35%);

the number of conflicts due to the destruction of the game remains approximately at the same level - 4 (20%);

the number of conflicts due to roles increases sharply - up to 5 (25%);

new types of conflicts: when choosing a general theme of the game - 1 (5%);

when determining the game plot - 1 (5%);

about the correctness of game actions - 2 (10%).

These data are listed in Table 3.

Table 3

During the survey, I noted that children most often use “verbal influence”, “arguments” and “physical influence” as ways to resolve conflicts.

The results of observing ways to resolve conflicts between children:

most often, children use such a method of conflict resolution as “verbal influence” - recorded 6 times (30%);

the same number of times - 5 (25%) each - "physical impact" and "arguments" were recorded;

2 times (10%) psychological influence was used;

1 time each (5%) - indirect impact and threats and sanctions.

These data are listed in Table 4.

Table 4

Thus, based on the results of the questioning of the educator and observation of the children of the middle group, I conclude: most often conflicts at this age arise because of roles in games and about the possession of toys, and the most common ways to resolve conflicts between children are verbal influence, arguments and physical impact.

2.3 Studying the occurrence of conflicts and ways to resolve them in the senior group

The educator of the older group, answering the questions of the questionnaire about the causes of conflicts, noted that at this age conflicts arise most often because of roles and about the correctness of game actions. Based on the results of observing the play activities of children in the older group, I made the following conclusions:

in total, 22 conflicts were registered during the observation period;

the largest number of conflicts are conflicts due to roles - 7 (31.8%);

regarding the correctness of game actions - 6 (27.2%);

the number of conflicts over toys - 4 (18.2%);

regarding the composition of the participants in the game - 2 (9.1%);

about the plot - 2 (9.1%);

the number of conflicts due to the destruction of the game - 1 (4.6%).

These data are listed in Table 5.

Table 5

An analysis of the results of the survey of the teacher of the older group showed that the most common way to resolve conflicts between children is to use arguments, i.e. statements with which children try to explain, substantiate their claims or show the illegality of the claims of rivals.

Observation of the children of the older group gave the following results:

most often, children used arguments as a way to resolve conflicts - 8 (36.4%) times;

verbal influence was used by children 6 times (27.3%);

physical impact was applied 4 times (18.2%);

1 time each (4.6%) indirect and psychological effects were recorded.

These data are listed in Table 6.

Table 6

Thus, based on the results of the questioning of the educator and observation of the children of the older group, we draw the following conclusion: most often conflicts at this age arise because of roles and about the correctness of game actions, and the most common way to resolve conflicts between children is to use arguments, i.e. e. statements with which children try to explain, substantiate their claims or show the illegality of the claims of rivals.

2.4. Interpretation of the results obtained and pedagogical recommendations for resolving conflicts between preschool children in play activities

As a result of questioning teachers of the junior, middle and senior groups of the kindergarten and observing conflicts between children during play activities, we received the data listed in Table 7.

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