Exit traffic cop
Leading:
stage. Comic exam for knowledge of the Rules of the road
What do these signs mean:
1. Garden work
2. Archaeological excavations
3. Road works
Correct Answer: Road works
1. Cross wind
2. Pinocchio went to swim
3. Such is life: the stripe is white, the stripe is black.
Correct Answer: Sidewind
1. You and I are two banks of the same river
2. Ski jumping
3. Drawbridge
Correct Answer: Drawbridge
1. Negro Beach
2. Rough road
3. Two speed bumps in a row
Correct Answer: Rough road
1. Reindeer sledding
2. So that's what you are, reindeer!
3. Wild animals
Correct Answer: wild animals
1. Hooray! I have an anniversary!
2. I invite you! 50 liters of alcohol prepared!
Correct Answer: Both answers are correct.
Show your filled glasses and glasses
TEST "WHO IS HOLDING A GLASS"
1. Who holds a glass in his right hand - these are absolutely the right people, but today - on the anniversary .... - after the fifth glass they can easily be knocked off this course!
2. Who holds a glass in his left hand - these people often go to the left, but not today!
3. Whoever has a full stack - these people are most happy for the hero of the occasion, so they drink to the fullest, most importantly, it would be something to drink!
4. Whoever has a little in a stack or a half - these people are low drinkers - no matter how much they drink, everything is not enough for them!
5. Who has "white" in their glasses - these people are modest and shy, when they drink, they always hold on to the wall!
6. Who has "red" - these people are the soul of any company, they drink everything!
7. Those who hold a glass with two or three fingers are cautious people, they are afraid that instead of vodka they have poured mineral water, so they often fill their own glasses.
8. And who keeps the whole "five" - these people usually do not drink from small dishes - why get dirty, drink, drink like that ...
But! No matter how you hold your glass today and whatever is poured in it, the main thing is .... we all drink to the health of our hero of the day!
Well, so that everything is according to the rules
Now for the birthday man we will compose poems together.
I will start, and you - in chorus, answer together!
If everything is ready
If guests are expected in the house,
This means it's coming
The best holiday... anniversary!
If looking for gifts
Throws all friends into the heat,
It means very close.
Glorious holiday... anniversary!
If more congratulations
The word asks "pour"
So what's going on here?
We answer ... anniversary!
So what to do, brothers,
Birthday boy answer!
Why doubt it?
It's clear... drink up!
DOCTOR EXIT
This is Doctor Aibolit
Blessings to all those gathered
And congratulations to Igor Ivanovich!
Here at the festive table
I make a decision
Check guests
You never know, suddenly someone is sick
Nausea or hiccups...
I'll give you a pill and go to bed
Well, who is full of health
Not snotty, breathes evenly
Develops an appetite
And cheerful looking
He certainly remains
Eating and drinking heavily
Songs joyfully sing
And dancing and laughing!
To begin with, I’ll walk here, I’ll take care of my well-being.
(goes around one side of the table)
Well, I’ll continue my detour, I’ll go through this side as well.
(walks around the other side of the table).
Nose dry does not get wet
The air takes a deep breath
Eyes burn with fire
Apparently they want vodka.
Hands to the waist, bend down
Not a man, just a Knight!
Even my hands don't shake
They can hold a glass.
Mouth wide, say A
You're not doing bad.
Only here the tongue is dry
Eat less and drink more.
There is no problem at all here.
The whole intact skeleton
Just a callus on the heel
You have to run without looking back.
You have a fuse of energy
Whom you pinch, he is gone
Only now the eyes are on the run
No matter how sin happens.
Take a deep breath don't breathe
You need to add quick
And exercise
Stretch your figure.
Broad mighty shoulders
The success of women is guaranteed
Oh, you need a glass with a liter.
To support the appetite.
Dear friends:
The hen cackles, the cockerel sings,
And we will knock over a glass of vodka in your mouth!
It was a saying, but, and now we will continue the fairy tale together with our previously interrupted collective performance - we will sing the chorus together to our birthday boy, a comic song to the motive “Wonderful neighbor (more precisely, neighbor)”
We are walking at the Fedotovs
And we do not know any troubles -
Today the hero of the day invited us all to a banquet.
Wasting no time,
We rushed in with the whole crowd,
We are an anniversary gift -
Feed us to death!
…………………………….
On this day, we wish you -
Let the years not age you!
We wish you health
Be happy always!
Anniversary is the beginning for you,
All of course ahead
And in life we wish you
Many more years to go!
Chorus: pap-pap-paparara-pap-pap
Somewhere in the field lights, somewhere the wind toils!
Well, we are supposed to drink for the hero of the day
Dear choristers!!! I invite everyone to sing another comic song, everyone has heard it many times, to the tune “It's time to hit the road”, but this does not mean that we are about to leave, “DO NOT HOPE”:
Time to hit the road
September evening, evening, evening
When without Faith we would have nothing to do,
We came to her for the anniversary,
Taking all your friends with you
And we all repeat the same thing “pour us”!
Chorus:
Pour - don't be sorry
Glasses full, full, full of wine!
Let's sing more cheerfully
Who can sing, sing and drink to the bottom!
Let it be fun, fun, fun
You shouldn't have weighed us before dinner, the hostess.
We will drink many times in a row
For this anniversary rite,
And we will eat everything that the owners tell us!
The chorus is the same.
We are brave guests, brave, brave,
Came cheerful, smart, curly,
We'll drink one, we'll drink two
For our Faith, everything to the bottom,
But so that tomorrow the head does not hurt!
The chorus is the same.
THE EVENT "FROM A SMILE WILL BE LIGHTER TO EVERYONE"
(The host prepares in advance large cardboard smiles for the number of guests, on the back of which comic wishes are written in two or three lines. Each guest is given one smile.)
Leading: Dear guests! Take a look at our birthday boy! He looks like a real man for his age! I wonder what, what, what are these men made of? From overseas bottles B tight wallets, From beautiful foreign cars, Drills, carnations, grinders, From picnics, parties, violins B, of course, smiles! And I was already convinced of this, noticing that the smile of the birthday man is his characteristic feature. I think the guests are ready to smile broadly at him in response. I ask the guests to bring smiles to their lips and smile at the hero of the day.
(The phonogram of V. Shainsky's song "Smile" is turned on. The host asks the guests to read the wishes to the hero of the day in turn, on the back of the smiles.)
Leading: I propose a toast: “For the fact that smiles do not leave our faces for as long as possible, and the birthday boy gives them to us as often as possible!”
SHOUTING "WE JUST LOVE THE ANNIVERSARY"
Leading: Today we celebrate the anniversary of:
Around flowers, smiles, sonorous laughter.
On such days we dream of happiness,
And we gather close to all loved ones!
Everyone loves and always respects,
Our anniversary. We congratulate him!
(Hearts are made in advance from satin fabric according to the number of guests on the anniversary. The guests take turns reading the lines of the verse printed on a beautiful postcard, and loudly say after each line: “We simply adore the hero of the day!”, And lays out his heart on the stage, where worth the hero of the day.)
We see off all troubles with a kick from him.
We just adore the hero of the day!
We delight the ear with speeches of laudation.
We just adore the hero of the day!
And we overload the brain from problems
We just adore the hero of the day!
I praise the favorite of fortune
We just adore the hero of the day!
And quickly, in an adult way, we think
We just adore the hero of the day!
Being with the hero of the day seems like paradise for everyone.
We just adore the hero of the day!
The stock of kindness is inexhaustible
We just adore the hero of the day!
And his image is unforgettable
We just adore the hero of the day!
And we increase all wishes
We just adore the hero of the day!
Dreams and desires today we fulfill it.
We just adore the hero of the day!
Competition "Musical binge"
Guests are invited to remember and perform songs in which there is a mention of an alcoholic drink. A team of men and a team of women compete.
The losers promise to arrange a field trip.
Relay "Alkoborye"
Men are participating in the relay. They are offered:
1. Measure the growth of a partner with glasses.
2. Without getting off the chair, you need to drink a cocktail from a straw standing on the floor.
3. A beer cap is put on a man’s nose, it is necessary to crawl on all fours without dropping the cork.
(The winner will receive a prize, a set of glasses or glasses for beer.)
Leading: To look at things soberly, sometimes you need to get drunk. Iridescent prospects are opened with a corkscrew. Here's more about bright prospects ... Alcoholic forfeits (Guests take turns pulling out cards and completing the tasks written on them.)
1. I hug my neighbor on the right,
I drink a glass in one gulp.
2. I will slap my neighbor lightly,
And knock over the stopar.
3. I'll borrow a hundred square meters from a neighbor,
For joy, I drink vodka.
4. With a neighbor we grunt a couple of times,
Well, let's drink in reserve!
5. Kiss the neighbor on the left
And I'll take a glass of vodka!
6. I will show my tongue to my neighbors
And knock over a glass in an instant.
7. I will create a choir with a neighbor
And for the song - one hundred grams.
8. I will bite my neighbor by the ear
And I'll have a glass of vodka.
9. I will give a compliment to my neighbor
And I'll drink a glass of vodka on the fly.
10. We will show the “swallow” pose with a neighbor
And let's boldly smear a glass of vodka.
11. We will dance a gypsy with a neighbor on the left,
And a hundred grams for such a thing.
12. I will not wait for anyone -
I'll drink myself, so as not to wean.
Leading: Drivers are known to be the most superstitious people! There are many serious, and sometimes funny automotive signs.
For example, a classic sign when passing an exam for rights is a universal nickel under the heel and an unwashed head before passing the exam. I think that the hero of the day could not foresee how this might be useful to him today. But in vain! After all, today he will have to pass the exam and confirm his right to bear the proud title of "Virtuoso Driver". As you know, the test in the traffic police consists of 2 stages: theoretical and practical. We will not deviate from the general rules and start with theory.
For this test, it is necessary to print traffic signs on sheets of paper or use a projector and show them on the screen. At the same time, 3 answer options are offered for each picture, from which the birthday person must choose the correct one.
Sometimes on the roads you can see signs that have nothing to do with the rules of the road. But it seems that those who installed them are sure that they carry valuable information.
1. "The Danger of UFO Kidnapping" 
"Carefully! Danger of kidnapping by unidentified flying objects. This, of course, is a joke, but did the road services that installed the signs really not think that they looked funny together.
2. "Evil Bison" 
"Angry bison on the road." A similar road sign can be seen in Alaska.
3. "The life of a cassowary" 
City officials usually try to remove graffiti, but this example of street art in Australia has been around for a long time. The sign depicts a cassowary before and after it collided with the car. Moreover, this image has started to appear here on postcards, stickers, t-shirts and caps.
4 Falling Cyclists 
I wonder if cyclists fall so often in this place. And at full speed.
5. What is this? What is it like?! 
Signs should be useful and understandable, right? Then who will answer the question: "What should be feared on this road."
6. "Mating deer" 
An incomprehensible sign from Germany. It can only be understood from it that local deer have a habit of mating on the road.
7. "Falling Cows" 
"Beware of falling cows." I wonder how many times this has happened to have a similar sign installed here.
8. "Drunk people crawl across the road" 
"Drunk people crawl across the road." Perhaps the ideal sign to put it near the bars.
9 Suicide Deer 
"Suicide deer". And they live only next to a 5-mile stretch of road.
10. "Man-Eating Octopuses" 
Octopuses are cannibals. In the woods. Comments are simply unnecessary.
11. "That's a stop sign" 
Stop sign with "This is a stop sign" below it. The only question left is why.
12. “No one is chasing you” 
These safety signs on a remote Himalayan mountain road are sure to make tourists laugh, but they can actually save their lives.
"Leave earlier, drive slower, live longer!" 
Obelisk of Indian Wisdom: "Leave earlier, drive slower, live longer!"
If you are a motorist and you are tired of the usual road signs, then you can visit such corners of our planet, where such samples are often installed that even the most serious person will laugh and remember them for more than one day. In this article, we managed to compile unusual and funny road signs installed on the roads of various countries.
The rating of the most ridiculous and unusual road signs is crowned with the theme of the female breast. Among other unusual warning signs found on the roads of our planet, one can single out the theme of animals, drunkenness and other human vices.
Oh, those lovely Persians!
I wonder who could come up with this? We met this sign on the roads of Europe, where, apparently, they are so sexually preoccupied that when they see a woman with appetizing breasts at the wheel of a vehicle passing by, they try to touch the cherished perches. So what are law enforcement officers to do? It just has to be.
Video about funny road signs:
Or maybe something else? In this area, sexy ladies with open breasts walk around. So the traffic police warn us about this. Thank you, we will take into account and mentally lick ourselves in anticipation of a cute picture.
The do not take off your bra sign looks pretty funny. If the artists had in mind that swimming is prohibited in this place, then something else could have been painted. But, as you can see, the artists are also guys who have a sense of humor that is all right.
Chinese sex maniacs or how Asians greet guests
Well, the following road sign generally plunged us into a real shock when we read it. Look at it yourself. He is seen by us.
Do you know what is written on this plate? You'd better sit down first, as the translation might be a little discouraging. Here it is literally: "We are ready to have you right here, on the spot." These Asian guys are funny, aren't they? Although they are small in stature, they are nimble and mischievous.
You probably think that funny road signs are invented on purpose. But this is not so at all. Often, quite serious signs intended for certain warning purposes can simply be misinterpreted. Here, for example, this one.
Godzilla and the Disabled
Fourth place. Do not think anything bad! No Godzilla walks here and this is not a ritual sacrificial sign. It's just that in South Africa they warn disabled people about the possibility of being attacked by crocodiles, but, oddly enough, there are no rivers or lakes nearby. Well, on the other hand: forewarned is forearmed!
Fight drunkenness or carefully crush the drunk!
Australia road signs
If you visit Australia, then in this country it will be very easy to meet peculiar road signs. This sign warns three times that camels, wombats or kangaroos can inadvertently run into your car. Some kind of zoo, by God!
Although, if the same kangaroos bother you a lot, then you can simply eat them on the way. So you can fill your stomach, and no longer be afraid of marsupials on the road.
Ecological Eagles
If in Australia camels and marsupials pose a threat, then in some mountainous countries eagles are feared.
They feel so at ease here and with impunity that they even encroach on the most sacred thing that is on the road - the motorist and him. Apparently, the nosed representatives of the fauna are tired of breathing exhaust gases, so they are fighting for cleanliness and ecology in their own way. Bravo! Although it is dangerous to walk here.
Food, beer and football
The picture of the road sign is full of fun and hearty food, where we see a cheerful mother with her son, reminiscent of the fairy-tale character Pinocchio. They offer drivers to taste mouth-watering dishes, drink beer and play football. Well, of course, it goes without saying. After beer, you need to play football right away, even if you are a truck driver carrying an important load.
Hermit hedgehog from Sweden
Unusual road signs of the world can acquaint drivers with a traveler hedgehog of Swedish origin, heading along this road on a long journey. With a knapsack on his shoulder, the old hedgehog dreams of seeing interesting countries of the world, and leaving dear Sweden, he already imagines himself water skiing somewhere in the Canary Islands.
Giant mosquitoes and a civilized cat with kittens
The next unusual road sign warns the driver about mosquito monsters that live on our planet. Apparently, experiments were carried out on insects in this place, which grew to such gigantic sizes.
Amazing nearby. License plate improves performance
car:
- A number with three identical digits increases the maximum speed;
- The sign with the "AAA" series reduces the acceleration time in the oncoming lane;
- The GoKakKhochu (EKX) series improves the vehicle's off-road capabilities by allowing you to overcome curbs, curbs, sidewalks and stairs.
Sign of fate.
Traffic police sergeant Petrenko always considered the road sign "Speed Limit" to be a good sign.
On the Georgian military road, a motorist stops at
prohibition sign, which depicts a box and a female genital
organ.
M-yes, either I'll play the box, or I'll cover myself with the organ ...
A Georgian traffic cop drives up.
Daraga, why are you standing, why aren't you eating...?
Yes, this is a strange sign.
Why strange? Everything is very simple: no-package-pisya
(M) a snake rides in Georgia. On a mountain road sign: crossed out
box and cock with balls. Strange, right? I thought and thought the man and further
rides. In front of the fork, a traffic police patrol (Georgian traffic police)
stops:
(D) Ruzin-patrolman:
- Listen, darling, why are you right, you don’t breathe signs, right?
(M):
- What signs? How many drove - there was not a single sign,
is it just some kind of crossed-out box and a member with
two eggs...
(G):
- Uh, daragoy, this is not a box, but a container, and not a member, but a pysya.
So, genatsvale, ne container-pysya: daroga one-two-eggs!
The sponsor of today's horoscope is the city department of the traffic police. Introducing
astrological forecast for different signs.
No parking on odd days of the month sign. Today the stars are not
It is recommended to stop under this sign for more than 5 minutes. AT
otherwise, you may expect disappointment in the financial sphere in
in the amount of 50 rubles. However, at a certain arrangement of the luminaries, this
disappointment will pass you by. This arrangement is - the sun is enough
deep below the horizon, and the moon is in the east or
southeast. Our astrologers have calculated that the auspicious disposition
The luminaries will begin at exactly 19:00 and will continue until the end of the day.
If you drive under the sign "Dead end", then it's unpleasant. If after it
there is a sign "One-way traffic", then this is alarming. What if
after them hangs the sign "Stopping is prohibited", then this is already a complete
fucked up!
Among the 24 new signs, the traffic police also provided for the sign "end of traffic rules."
A married couple rides in a car.
- Honey, where are you going, there is a sign!
- Honey, this sign means: "no horse-drawn vehicles."
“But doesn’t it apply to donkeys driving?”
The inscription under the sign "Overtaking prohibited":
Dear women, this sign applies not only to cars
red and black!!!
From life.
A husband teaches his wife how to drive and asks her various questions while driving:
- What does this sign mean - a white circle with three black stripes?
(end of all restrictions)
Wife:
- Everything is allowed!!!
The most beloved road sign in Russia is "DPS 2000km".
The effect of many signs, road markings and traffic lights, for Russians
usually stops after midnight.
Signs "30", "60", "90" on Estonian roads indicate the minimum
driving speed.
The new Russian yells at the traffic police inspector who stopped him on the highway:
- One hundred and ninety an hour? No, commander... Yes, I was barely trudging along. Well, so
traveled twenty kilometers, no more.
- So you still say that you didn’t drive at all, but stood still!
- What's up, boss, isn't it? Almost stood.
- Good. It stood like that. See the No Parking sign?
