Natural emotionality Is this your strength or weakness?
The environment of emotionally explosive individuals is trying to write this feature of the psychological constitution into shortcomings. Emotionality and openness is characteristic of children. By this they touch adults, using their childish spontaneity as an excellent tool for manipulation. Caught in the framework of education, adults try to suppress the child in themselves. By doing so, they limit their natural charm and distort their personality. The most interesting thing is that it is mainly positive emotions that can be controlled.. You squeeze your facial expressions, your movements, so as not to seem like an enthusiastic naive fool. But in vain! This is your main condiment.
So, you suppressed positive emotions ... You think: “That's it, an adult aunt with a serious expression on her face!” But no! These beating, overflowing emotions are looking for: “Where would you like to express yourself?” Holding them back is like keeping the lid of a boiling cauldron forcibly closed, preventing the steam from escaping! But sooner or later it will happen, and moreover, at the most inopportune moment. Most likely when your negative emotions cannot be contained. They will break out as reproaches, tantrums, screams. In adult society, it is not customary to laugh out loud and express your affection. But it's quite normal to smoke like a steam locomotive, grab a bottle, antidepressants. It turns out that a nervously smoking woman is the norm, and an open and enthusiastic woman is a fool? Maybe stop bullying yourself?
Let's teach children to express their emotions and use them for their own benefit? Maybe then, instead of calming down, we will look for another joy? Instead of a cigarette, let's sit on a carousel, buy a balloon filled with helium, and release it into the air!
Naive? Of course, it is naive, because you need a man and only then you will calm down! But a man is not a pacifier for a baby! Grow up emotionally first, even if you're far beyond... Otherwise, you will nervously rush from one clumsy attachment to another, looking for a man who will finally calm you down and become EVERYTHING for you. Relax later! And if a man becomes everything for you, then when he suddenly leaves you, unable to withstand such responsibility, then you will be left with NOTHING.
On the one hand, you need to become like children, and on the other hand, you need to keep your head on your shoulders and understand what and why you are doing! Remember what Tamara wrote in "Male Psychology for Intellectual Women"? Immediacy + intelligence = nuclear mixture!
Emotional buildup is an important principle of working with emotions. He is very simple.
Emotions are swings. In which direction you direct the swing, only the distance from the equilibrium position is important. It's the same with emotions.
The principle of seduction, given this fact, is as follows:
The most important thing is to bring a man out of balance, no matter in which direction.
Emotional buildup is the same swing. You swing emotions in one direction or the other. You give him positive, then negative. Praise, punish, praise, punish.
You listen, you are carried away by him, you surrender to him, then you stop communicating with him, you start ignoring him, then everything repeats.
In order to swing a heavy person, you never try to get the swing as far away from the balance position as possible, right?
Everything is the same here. In order to shake a great passion, love in him, you need to start with small deviations from the equilibrium position. And it doesn't matter where you start.
You can start with the negative. I like this way the most. It is much easier to bring a person into the negative, if he is predisposed to it, than into the positive. It is much easier to provoke annoyance and provoke him than to please him and please him.
Very often, when men come to me and start whining and complaining about their women, I tell them:
- And let's tell you which women are bad, pour out all the dirt now, think about how good it would be for us without women.
And when they begin to pour out all sorts of dirt, men begin to go positive. They get well. Because they can't be negative.
When he starts swearing at you, when he is unhappy with you, instead of proving to him that you are white and fluffy, do the opposite, this often works very well.
Tell me how bad I am! Tell me everything! Tell me how bad and disgusting life is for you with me, how you don’t love me and don’t want to ...
He will say it. Better shut your ears. In ten minutes, he will apologize for these words and tell you how good he really is. Why?
He spat out the negative. He is already in a balanced state, and now he is beginning to be pulled into a positive. That's why he already loves you. He already likes you. And he starts feeling guilty. And then OP!
Cut the TEARS!
It is unlikely that anyone can react calmly to this matter. Although there is an opinion among men: women's tears are like water.
Believe me. We say this to each other and laugh when it comes to other men who react to women's crying. But every man, believe me, even if he doesn’t show it, he can’t calmly treat them. Therefore, this method is really effective.
Emotional buildup is in many ways similar to the principle of unbalancing in aikido. You can do something with a person only if you unbalance him. The beginning of any technique in aikido is to unbalance the opponent.
Everything is the same here. The method is very similar. Your first rule of communication and influence on a man is to unbalance him. In any direction.
Competition
Now we will consider a very important technique. Creating competition.
Why is she so important?
Competition is one of the basic instincts that every man has. You may not understand this, but take my word for it. Very often we don't care what we compete for. We will do this in principle. The male world also has its own paradoxes.
If I was challenged, it is very difficult not to accept it. And when you start to compete for something, sometimes you forget to evaluate whether it is worth it! All casinos are built on this principle. The only way to make money at a casino is to buy it!
Nevertheless, the gambling business is booming. Competition. A game that is addictive. The man is a player.
There are a number of ways to make a man compete for you. At every stage from dating to the registry office.
Competition has two rules!
1. Always create competition!
2. Never compete!
In this section, we will consider these tasks. I will teach you how to compete for you at different stages of communication and make men swarm around you like bees around a jar of honey!
At first glance, self-confident girls will say that it is easy. She said "buy", "give" and got everything. But experienced hunters for male attention and money know that such a reception will take place only once. After the “offerings” have been made, the man will see through the huntress in the girl and forget about her, as well as about a hundred of the same.
To rock a man for feelings (of course, positive ones), for money and deeds, you need only 2 things: time and tactics. Oddly enough, but it is in this matter that haste and the slightest mistake will betray your true intentions. These conclusions were made by experts from the Institute of Psychology, Sociology and Social Relations.
Rocking on feelings
This is the first in the chain of women's goals. Only after the feelings arise will it be possible to talk about money and deeds. To begin with, let's clarify that you can swing both an already available person and a new acquaintance in approximately the same way. Just remember a few principles:
men are bored. This means that to arouse and keep his interest for the longest possible time is the most important thing. Sergey Avakumov, Associate Professor of the East European Institute of Psychoanalysis, came to this opinion in his research. Starting from the dating stage, it is best to make it clear that you have your own personal life, your own personal space and self-respect. You know what to do when you're without him. On the one hand, it was possible to lie that when he canceled the date, you went to the exhibition, although in fact you sat hugging the cat on the couch. But longing and sadness will be read in your eyes. You risk losing your inner core. Therefore, it is best, left alone with yourself, to really go to the theater, exhibition or circus. New emotions will make your eyes sparkle, you will have something to talk about and the risk of becoming obsessive will drop to zero. And dialogue in the spirit: “Do you like Kipling? - Oh, you rascal! I don’t know… I haven’t tried that yet…” won’t be about you.
Men want to conquer. As for building relationships after meeting, the “swing” tactic, or “one step forward, two steps back,” will be a faithful assistant here. Men see themselves as hunters. This has been unchanged since ancient times. All you need is to give him that feeling.
Example. Yesterday, having kissed you, he decided that this was already a passed stage. So today it's better to slip away from the kiss. Yesterday it was possible to hug you passionately, so tomorrow, we slip out of the hugs, adding the phrase “it seems you are too persistent” or “Yesterday you misunderstood me.” The main thing is not to go too far and the offer “meet me today?” do not answer the man “I would love to, but it’s so cold there. Maybe it's better in the spring?
Guided by the fact that intimacy is never offered, openly (and if you were offered it, then you have already been figured out), it is better for you to react to every openness with a step back. And the longer you arouse the interest and attention of a man, the more points you can attribute to yourself in a relationship.
Swing for money
This is the next stage after interest and attention. The buildup for money at first is not an easy task, requiring accuracy and clear tactics. This includes expensive gifts, buying a car, regular financial assistance, paying for all your needs, and so on.
Another thing is the subsequent buildup (second type) to increase his own earnings, again for your pleasure. These are two completely different things. For example, at the time of your wedding, he was earning $1,000 a month, and it's up to you to pump him up to a salary of $10,000 a month. But for now, we will limit ourselves to the first stage - how to teach a man to regularly spend his money on you.
The main thing is that if you want to receive money from a man, in no case make it clear that you need it. Otherwise, it can happen as in a joke that an excellent student wanted to answer that she had dislocated her arm in two places.
In order not to give yourself away, it is best to take care of your own springboard in advance. Always have money with you for the trip, so as not to ask. Always have a place to sleep so you don't have to ask for your accommodation.
Example. One simple example that will help hide your true intentions is to offer to pay for yourself in the first couple of meetings. When you receive a bill at a restaurant, say something like, “Will you let me pay for myself?” If your intuition did not let you down and you have a wealthy person in front of you, he, of course, will not allow it, but he will think to himself: “She is so cute.” However, at the same time, you really should have a sufficient amount. What we achieve with this phrase: 1. We arouse interest. 2. We do not give out the hunter in ourselves. 3. We check whether it is worth spending time on this man 4. We show that you are not interested in his money, but in himself. According to Nika Adamyan, a researcher at the Laboratory of Visual Electrophysiology and Psychophysics at the University of Aberdeen in the UK, this tactic really works.
When you really need money, even for groceries, in no case do we ask, but simply show with our mood that we are a little worried about something. To a counter question, you can answer without complaints that some difficulties have arisen, but in the near future you will cope with them. An interested man will offer you money without hesitation. And most importantly, to his question whether you have the opportunity to save money, you do not need to answer - there is an opportunity, there is no money.
Rock on deeds
But in this matter, unlike the first two points, time is the worst assistant. Specialists of the Institute of Psychology of the Russian Academy of Sciences are sure of this. From the first days of meeting, planning a long-term relationship, we accustom a man to the fact that you need his help.
Example. At first, you can feel free to ask for a ride in a car, ask for a walk with your dog, ask to arrange a visit by a plumber. What for? Yes, so that a man gets used to the fact that he is your support. Having got used to this thought, he will not hesitate in the future to help you around the house, do the grocery shopping for the week and enthusiastically clean the floors in the house.
Necessary for the development of his emotional potential. In the society of early people, only the skin-visual female had this species role. Her emotional swings were manifested in the frequent change of strong emotions from admiration for the beauty of nature to the fear of being eaten by a predator.
In subsequent historical stages, in more developed societies- this is the same archetypal program of the visual vector, however, which has not received further adequate and proper development, and therefore is fixed in the human psyche in its original form. In modern society, such behavior is not beneficial, it is defined by more developed members of society as emotionally unstable. With such emotional swings, the desire to attract the attention of others is periodically replaced by a state of fear. The cause of fear is the lack and inability to create emotional bonds with people. Emotional buildups are characteristic of representatives of both sexes, in the vector set of which there is an undeveloped and/or unrealized visual vector.
Causes and mechanism of occurrence of emotional buildups
The development of emotionality is directly related to the presence of a particularly sensitive visual analyzer, since it is through the eyes that a person is able to perceive the physical aspect of reality and admire the beauty of the world. Particularly sensitive eyes are the erogenous zone of the viewer, allowing him to distinguish the slightest nuances of color shades, to subtly feel the play of light. Therefore, when contemplating the beauty of the external world in all its various manifestations, such people get especially strong pleasure.
At the dawn of mankind, the carriers of the visual vector for thousands of years were exclusively skin-visual females. The desire and ability to enjoy the light and variety of natural shades allowed them to fulfill their specific role. The skin-visual female accompanied the flock on hunting and war, looking out for potential dangers in the form of predators and enemies. Many predatory animals skillfully disguise themselves as the color of the environment, and it was the watchful eyes of the day guard that made it possible to protect the flock from danger and loss.
The internal emotional states of the skin-visual female often change, passing from one peak point to another. Either she is full of positive emotions from the surrounding variety of natural colors and beauties, or she falls into a state of extreme fear for her life at the sight of a predator or other danger. Such sensual swings constantly shake emotions inside. The unique psychic constitution of the skin-visual female adapts these swings, and they quickly become a central element in her sense of fullness of life. The emotion of fear is so great that the skin-visual female yells loudly in surprise, clearly signaling the danger to the whole flock.
This mechanism was necessary, we observe it unchanged to this day. The stronger the skin-visual female is able to be frightened, the more clearly she is able to fulfill her species role. This early mechanism reveals in her the full range of her emotional amplitude. Along with this, an internal need for constant emotional buildup is also fixed, i.e. to change and riot of emotions. They give a sense of richness and intensity to the events taking place in her life, i.e. allow her to fulfill her life. The peak of emotions brings her into a state of inner balance. However, this is an early behavioral program for the skin-visual female.
At the later stages of human development, the main danger is no longer a predator, but the ever-growing hostility of people to each other. Dislike grows due to the natural growth of additional desires in the collective human psyche (in the collective unconscious). This force of disintegration is dangerous and capable of causing the disintegration and destruction of the pack. The force that collectively restrains this hostility is the layer of culture inherent in everyone today, which has opened up and developed through the visual measure and precisely thanks to it. The core of culture is the ability for compassion and empathy for one's neighbor. This ability develops in the visual vector, when fear for oneself is pushed outward, turning into empathy for one's neighbor, into love.
An equally common variation of swings is, for example, an unconscious need to be frightened, to look for real confirmation of one's fear in everything. Such a person may overly focus on some kind of trouble or danger, constantly trying to prevent possible dangerous situations. That is, in fact, create a phobia for yourself: fear of society, heights, flying, dogs, water bodies, etc.
The need for fear can also be expressed in all sorts of superstitions, since belief in supernatural forces provokes a constant expectation of any terrible events. Such people believe in signs, in the help of fortune-tellers, psychics, astrologers, but they do not realize that their superstitions are the basis for the formation of more and more new fears.
Because of the need to build up emotions through fear, a person is often inclined to create an atmosphere around him that visually reminds him of the constant proximity of death or mortal danger. Man surrounds himself with various images and manifestations of death. This explains the desire to watch horror films, as well as to purchase clothes and accessories with images of vampires, skulls, and blood. Because of the need for fear, a person can unconsciously create situations that tickle his nerves and are really dangerous for his life: for example, at a late time in deserted places, arrange walks or contact suspicious groups of people.
