Husband and wife are godparents of one child. Can husband and wife be godparents

Baptism is an important process in Russia. Even those couples who do not believe in God or believe, simply because they have to, baptize their children. From a religious point of view, baptism is the process of cleansing a newborn from original sin. The child is thus united with God. At the same time, parents think about who to make a spiritual mentor for the child. And the question is often raised as to whether a husband and wife can be godparents.

Why can't a husband and wife be godparents?

Our church has a negative attitude towards this situation and forbids a married couple to become foster parents for one child. At the same time, a couple can baptize different children from the same family.

Husband and wife cannot be godparents to the same child.

The Orthodox Church explains this prohibition by the fact that there is already a spiritual connection between husband and wife. During baptism, the bond between husband and wife may be weakened, as the bond that is formed with the child during this process is the strongest.

At the same time, it is possible that the priest will turn a blind eye to this if the couple has not been married or is not yet married. But doing so is undesirable. If you are a believer, then know that at the same time your connection with your husband at the wedding will be weak.

This is also explained by the fact that the husband and wife are already one, so neither of them can form one with the child.

Who can be godfather

Godparents can be:

Relatives of children: grandparents, sisters, brothers and so on.
People whose children you are the sponsor.
God-parents your first child. If you have already baptized the first child, then at the baptism of the second, you can ask the same people to become godparents for the second.
Priest. If you do not have really close people to whom you could entrust this, then a priest can do it.
There are superstitions according to which it is believed that a pregnant or unmarried woman without children will bring misfortune to the newborn. Do not believe, such girls can become godparents.

Treat the choice of a spiritual mentor for your son or daughter with responsibility, since it will be impossible to change your choice.

Baptism is an important process. Remember also that if the parents are divorced, then the stepfather cannot become a godparent. This is important choice, so choose people who really care about your son or your daughter. Godparents should be mentors of children and help them develop spiritually. Therefore, take this with responsibility.

Who can be the godfather of a baby? Can husband and wife be godparents to a child? Is it possible to take close relatives as godparents - sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, grandfathers and grandmothers? Is it true that a pregnant or unmarried woman should not have children baptized? In our article you will find answers to these questions.

An adult doesn't need a receiver

If a person is baptized at a conscious age, then no questions arise with the choice of recipients. An adult is responsible for his own decision. He certainly consciously came to the faith and wanted to join the Church. Most often, those who wish to be baptized, before accepting the Sacrament, undergo a course of categorical conversations, in which they are told about the foundations of the Orthodox faith.

He himself knows the main dogmas of the Church - the Creed - and can declare a renunciation of Satan and a desire to join Christ.

Who can become a godfather to a baby?

Baptism in infancy occurs according to the faith of the child's parents and godparents.

Godfather - baptized, believer, churched

A godfather or mother can be a believer, baptized in Orthodoxy, a churched person.

He is not needed to hold a child in church. The godfather vouches for the spiritual upbringing of this person before God, on behalf of the baby the godfather declares his devotion to Christ and renunciation of Satan. Agree, this is a very serious statement. And it involves the fulfillment of the assigned duties: the communion of the baby, spiritual conversations in a relaxed manner, own example living in virtue.

A baptized, but unchurched person is unlikely to be able to cope with such functions.

Who cannot become a godfather?

An atheist, non-believer, or excommunicated from the Church cannot be a godfather: if he is outside the Church, how can he help others enter it? How can he teach others to believe if he himself does not believe in God?

Can a pregnant woman baptize a child?

There is a superstition that an unmarried or pregnant woman cannot be a godparent. There are no such restrictions in the Church. You never know what a grandmother in the temple can tell you?! Sometimes you even have to listen to what unmarried girl Be sure to first become a godmother to a boy. If she does this, her guys will love her. Well, if you baptize the first girl, then what? Century in the girls to sit? This is another ridiculous superstition.

In fact, in the Trebnik - a liturgical book according to which priests serve the rites - it is indicated that only one godfather is needed for the baptized, while for a girl - a woman, and for a boy - a man. It was only later that a tradition appeared to take a couple of successors. If you take only one godfather, then there is nothing forbidden in this. Unfortunately, grandmothers in the temple do not always know the history of the Church well and often fall for the hook of superstition.

In our time, monks and nuns also cannot become godparents. Previously, there was no such prohibition. But what is the reason for this practice? It is done so as not to distract the monk from monastic life, not to tempt him with worldly things (family, children, family celebrations and celebrations).

Also, parents do not become godparents to their child. They already have a huge responsibility for the versatile upbringing of their son or daughter.

Other relatives can easily become godparents, whether they are grandparents, aunts, uncles, or even older brothers and sisters.

Can a husband and wife be godparents to a child?

In our time, there is no unequivocal opinion about whether a husband and wife can baptize the same baby.

Supporters of the “no” option believe that godparents are spiritually close people, and a husband and wife are also physically close. You can find more than one story about how the priest forbade the spouses to be godparents to the child. But do such prohibitions exist at the canonical level?

But what if the guy and the girl first baptized one baby, and then fell in love with each other and wanted to get married? Suffer and blame the godson's parents for such a "setup"?

Instead of suffering, let's better turn to the book by Sergei Grigorovsky "Obstacles to wedding and reception at baptism", published with the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II. It focuses on marriage between godparents:

At present, Article 211 of the Nomocanon [which points out the inadmissibility of marriage between godparents] has no practical significance and should be considered cancelled... in any spiritual relationship and therefore forbid them to marry among themselves.

You can also find older sources that positively answer the question “Can a husband and wife be godparents to a child?”.

The recipient and the recipient (godfather and godfather) are related to themselves; Because at Baptism, the holy one is a person necessary and really: male for the baptized male, and female for the baptized female.

Decree of December 31, 1837 Holy Synod again appeals to the ancient decrees about one godparent for an infant:

As for the second beneficiary, he does not create spiritual kinship with either the baptized or the first beneficiary, therefore marriage between the beneficiaries (godparents) of one baptized infant is considered possible from a theological point of view.

For those who nevertheless continued to doubt whether a husband and wife could be godparents to a child, another synodal decree appeared, already dated April 19, 1873:

A godfather and a godfather (godfather and mother of the same baby) can marry only after the permission of the diocesan bishop.

I must say that the ban on marriage between godparents used to exist in the Russian Church, while in other Orthodox churches they did not know about this practice.

The only prohibition that has come down to us since the time of the Ecumenical Councils is Rule 53 of the Sixth (Constantinople) Council . It speaks of the impossibility of marriages between a child's godfather/godmother and his widowed mother/widowed father.

It is also considered impossible to marry a godson and his godson. But this question cannot even arise if the baby has one godfather, of his own gender.

We invite you to see how Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov answers the question of whether a husband and wife can be godparents to a child:

Take it, tell your friends!

- And what to give to the godson?

- Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, no matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross should be of the traditional form adopted in Orthodox Church.

In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - this is a silver spoon, which was called a "gift for a tooth", it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he started to eat from a spoon.

How do I choose godparents for my child?

– Firstly, the godparents must be baptized, churched Orthodox Christians.

The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of a godfather or godmother should be whether this person can subsequently help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not only in practical circumstances. And of course, important criterion there must be a degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relations. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child's church educators or not.

Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?

- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.

- If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to perform the ceremony without him, but write him down as a godparent?

- Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godfathers, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand ducal mercy, agreed to be considered godparents of one or another baby. If it's a similar situation, do it, and if not, it's probably best to go with common practice.

- Who can't be a godfather?

- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on, cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends of the child's parents and no matter how pleasant people they are in communication.

An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are sure of the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian confession: Catholic or Protestant.

According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become sponsors.

- And which of the relatives can be a godfather?

– An aunt or an uncle, a grandmother or a grandfather can become the godparents of their little relatives. It should only be remembered that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it is worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child, help us raise him. Are we cheating in this case little man love and care, because he could have one or two adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important at a time when the child is looking for authority outside the family. The godfather at this time, in no way opposing himself to his parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his relatives.

Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or to baptize a child for the purpose of a normal upbringing in the faith?

- In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either the godparents, or his relatives, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.

As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, godlessness, a blatantly impious way of life - in fact, they say that that a man has failed in his duty as a godfather. The spiritual union, concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism, can be considered terminated by the godmother or godmother, and you can ask another churched pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to bear the care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.

- I was invited to be godmother a girl, but everyone tells me that the first one must be baptized the boy. Is it so?

- The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by in any way.

- They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?

– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who takes a girl from the font will either not marry herself, or it will impose on her fate some imprint.

On the other hand, in this opinion one can also see a certain kind of sobriety, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if godmothers to the baby people (or at least one of the godparents) will be selected who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, who have something to share with the physical parents of the baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.

Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, will you have time to take care of him, for advice to the parents of the baby, in order to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, and in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting off once.

About godparents

Natalia Sukhinina

“Recently, I got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even argued with her. She argued that godparents, like natural father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I do not agree: a mother is a mother, to whom she will allow to interfere in the upbringing of a child. I also once had a godson in my youth, but our paths diverged a long time ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? Something is unbelievable…”

(From a letter from a reader)

It so happened, and my life paths turned in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. Even their names could not be retained by memory, they baptized me long ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrug their shoulders, they say that people lived in the neighborhood at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.

And where are they now, what to call them, to magnify, do you remember?

To be honest, for me this circumstance has never been a flaw, I grew up and grew up, without godparents. No, she was cunning, it was once, envied. School friend got married and got wedding gift as thin as a gossamer gold chain. The godmother gave it, she boasted to us, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I envied it. If I had a godmother, maybe I would ...
Now, of course, having lived and thought, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who don’t even keep in mind that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler in the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. To hold us responsible for the godchildren and goddaughters scattered from their parental nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.

Who doesn't know this picture?

Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, he is passed from hand to hand, they go outside with him, they distract him so that he does not cry. Waiting for christening. They look at the clock, nervous.

Godmother and father can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially concentrated and important. They rush to get a wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle bags of christening clothes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, goggles his eyes at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him”, among which the face of the godfather is one of many. But the father invites - it's time. They fussed, got excited, the godparents are trying their best to maintain importance - it doesn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s exit in God's temple- a significant event.
- When last time Have you been to church? - the priest will ask. They shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, it’s still easy to determine from awkwardness and tension that godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the vaults of the church. Father will ask questions:

- Do you carry a cross?

Do you read prayers?

- Do you read the Gospel?

Do you honor church holidays?

And the godparents will begin to mutter something indistinct, to lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly conscience, remind of the duty of godfathers and mothers, in general, of Christian duty. Hastily and willingly they will nod their godparents, humbly accept the denunciation of sin, and whether from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into their hearts the main father’s thought: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now, and forever. And whoever remembers is likely to misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to invest in the well-being of the godson a feasible contribution.

The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp solid banknote - for a tooth. Then for birthdays as the child grows - a chic set of children's dowry, expensive toy, a fashionable satchel, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold, to the envy of the poor, chains for the wedding.

We know very little. And it’s not a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the church as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us with, how it is more worthy to prepare for it.
Godfather - in Slavic godfather. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest passes the baby from his hands into the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By perception, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission to lead the godson along the path of ascent to the Heavenly heritage. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember, in the Gospel of John: "Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God."

In serious words - "guardians of faith and piety" - the Church calls the recipients. But to keep, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who, together with the baptized baby, first got into the temple. Godparents should know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again ...”, they must know the “Symbol of Faith”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, to wear a cross, to be able to be baptized.
One priest said: they came to baptize the child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on a cross, but he can’t, unbaptized. It's just a joke, but it's the real truth.

Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But one cannot demand faith and repentance from a baby in lace, so godparents are called, having faith and repentance, to pass them on, to teach them to their godparents. That is why, instead of babies, they pronounce the words of the "Creed" and the words of renunciation of Satan.

Do you deny Satan and all his works? the priest asks.

“I deny it,” the recipient answers instead of the baby.

The priest is wearing a bright festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, which means spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, all those standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby three times into the font and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, a servant of God, will be handed over to the godparents. And he will be dressed in white clothes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a light robe, put on light, like a robe ...” Accept your child, godparents. From now on, your life will be filled with a special meaning, you have taken on the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you now have to answer to God.

At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become godparents for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl only needs a godmother, a boy only needs a godfather. But life, as it often happens, has made its own adjustments here. According to the ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. It, of course, will not spoil the porridge with oil. But even here it is necessary to know quite certain rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as the parents of a child cannot be godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.

... Behind the baptism of the baby. He has a great life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to those who gave birth to his father and mother. Ahead is our work, our constant striving to prepare the godson for the ascent to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the smallest. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked down from the worries that have fallen on them. They are, as they say, nothing. Now is the time to lend them a helping hand.

Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in the temple, order prayers, constantly, like your own blood children, commemorate in prayers at home. Of course, you don’t have to do it instructively, they say, you are mired in fuss, but I’m all spiritual - I think about the high, I aspire to the high, I feed your child, so that you do without me ... In general, the spiritual upbringing of the baby is possible only in if the godfather in the house is his own person, desirable, tactful. It is not necessary, of course, to shift all the worries onto yourself. The duties of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this one cannot be justified before the Lord.

This is a really difficult cross. And, perhaps, you need to think carefully before you lay it on yourself. Can I? Will I have enough health, patience, spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering into life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for an honorary post. Who among them can become a truly good helper in education, who will be able to give your child true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but not at all necessary.

If there is trouble in the house, then there are other criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers, unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. As old as the world, such stories are banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the baptismal font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can turn mountains. Doing good is also good. It is not in our power to drive away a fool-man from half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter or to sing “make peace, make peace, make peace” to two frowning halves. But it is in our power to take away to our dacha for a day at the dacha a boy weary of affection, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there, and to pray. Prayer feat is at the forefront of godparents of all times and peoples.

The priests are well aware of the severity of the feat of the recipients and do not bless to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.

But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are just from there, from childhood loneliness, childish sadness. From a big child's misfortune.

This man's name is Alexander Gennadyevich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children's Rehabilitation Center, or, more simply, in an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, digging through funds for equipping classes, selecting personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescuing his wards from the police, collecting them in the basements.

Like a godfather, he takes them to church, tells them about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. Pray a lot, a lot. In Optina Hermitage, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveevsky Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He is very tired, this man, sometimes he almost collapses from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in business say about him. Godfather from God - is it possible to say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.

For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, scattered throughout the cities and villages, his ministry to children is an example of a real Christian ministry. I think that many of us cannot reach his heights, but if we do life with someone, then just with those who understand their title of “grandparent” as a serious, and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak, busy person, not so hot what a church person is, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It's more honest and easier, right? Easier - yes. But more honest...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly come to stop, look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I owe nothing to my own child. We are indebted to everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them away. Children have grown up and do without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents got old. But conscience - the voice of God - itches and itches.

Conscience requires a splash, and not in words, but in deeds. Can it not be such a thing to carry the duties of the cross?
It is a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of the daughter of my childhood friend was a great and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. Sat down, poured wine, waiting for a toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the parents of the bride skip ahead with the speeches of the groom's parents, they are vice versa. And then a tall and handsome man stood up. He got up in a very businesslike manner. He raised his glass:

“I mean, as the godfather of the bride…”

Everyone quieted down. Everyone listened to the words about young people living long, together, having many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulia, and from under the luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.

Thank you godfather, I thought. Thank you for carrying the love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding. Thank you for reminding us all of something we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How many - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.