A ritual to let go of a dead daughter. Why you need to release the dead

Instructions

Yes, it’s very difficult for you now. But try to call on common sense and logic to help. Tell yourself: “The irreparable has already happened. Tears and grief can’t fix anything.” Think about who would be better off if you hopelessly undermine your health or psyche? Certainly not to your family and friends. You must pull yourself together, if only for the sake of preserving the memory of the deceased.

Very often such a difficult experience is a consequence of feelings of guilt. For example, you somehow offended the deceased or did not give him due attention and care. Now you constantly remember this, you are tormented by belated repentance, tormented by remorse. This is understandable and natural. But think again: even if you are really guilty before the deceased, is grief really the best means of atonement? There are so many people around who need help. Do something for them, help. Make amends with good deeds. You will find where to put your strength. This, by the way, will help take your mind off painful thoughts and torment.

If you are a practicing Christian, try to find solace in religion. After all, according to Christian canons, only the body is mortal - a mortal shell, and the soul is immortal. In those cases when you are experiencing the death of a child very hard, remember the words: “Whom the Lord loves, He early calls to Himself.” And also that the child’s soul will certainly go to heaven.

Pray for the deceased, often bring memorial notes to church. If you feel that you still cannot let him go, be sure to talk to the priest. Don't be shy, ask all the questions that bother you and that you want answered. Even this one: “If God is really good and just, why did this happen?” Often, in order to calm down, you first need to simply talk it out.

Try to convince yourself with this argument: “He loved me, he would be very sad if he saw me suffer, suffer.” Sometimes it helps. There is another good way - throw yourself into work. The more time and effort it takes, the less there is left for painful thoughts.

The very painful topic of parting with a loved one requires a tactful approach, great internal strength and time. Letting go of a person is catastrophically difficult, especially if feelings remain. But you need to learn this in order to live on and move forward, without him.

Instructions

First, you need to accept the fact that you no longer have a future with this person, and in order to continue living, you need to let him go. Perhaps, awareness of this situation is the most difficult thing in the whole process, since often people simply do not believe in what is happening, have hopes and do not want to let the person go, and this can last for years. If you cannot accept the care of your loved one on your own, be sure to contact a competent psychotherapist.

There is a technique for returning that positive energy of love and affection that you once endowed with your other half. The essence of the work is repeated visualization. Imagine how energy in the form of a golden ray, sun or hearts flows back from it to you.

The fact is that on a psychological level you invested a lot in your partner, and when he left, you were left with nothing. This shows affection. Destroy psychological dependence by returning what is yours. After a while you will feel better and you will feel full again.

Keep yourself busy. At first you will have to force yourself, classes will take place in an unconscious automatic mode, and your thoughts will be occupied by the image of the person leaving. But keep doing it, even if everything falls out of your hands - don’t get discouraged, do it.

When, through the practice of returning your energy, your vitality increases, begin to love yourself. Take care of your appearance, education, hobbies. Sad thoughts about the departed person will not stop visiting you, although they will take on a lighter color. Sublimate in creativity, paying tribute to the beauty that was in your relationship. By doing this you also let the person go.

Reduce the number of possible situations and people that remind you of your ex-lover. Remove him from all social networks and temporarily avoid meeting with mutual friends. Don't be interested in this person's life, but focus on yourself - this is your most important task.

Over time, your old openness will return and, although the wound will be fresh, a new person may appear on your path. Accept it, because without partings there are no meetings. Don’t close yourself off to new people; perhaps they were given to you for something important. As a rule, a person who has experienced a difficult breakup becomes wiser and stronger, which means that the chance of building a proper and lasting relationship with a new person is much higher.

Sources:

• how to let a guy go in 2018

When you lose a loved one person, then the soul is filled with negative emotions and feelings: pain, resentment, fear, anger and even hatred, which only exacerbate the depressive state, perpetuate self-pity and push the grieving person in search of oblivion. However, you need to find the strength to survive this period. How to do it?

Instructions

"Been through loss close person“does not mean that you need to erase from your memory all memories associated with a deceased relative. The main task is to learn to live fully and independently with bright memories of him, which the following tips can help. Realize loss. A grieving person who constantly talks to the deceased and lives with memories consciously refuses to live on without the departed loved one person, therefore, any expressions of sympathy and empathy from others cause aggression in him. When a person thinks about his future destiny, it means that he is already ready for a new life.

“Release” the deceased. Tears will help ease grief, but you should not mourn the departed every minute: with your lamentations you become even more attached to him. Think about the fact that at the hour appointed by God you will meet him again, but now you need to learn to live freely and fully. Tell a close friend about your grief, on a forum or by calling a helpline. The main thing is to free yourself from negative emotions.

The death of a loved one is always a great grief. It is impossible to accept the fact of a terrible loss without experiencing this state and suffering to the fullest. This may be a feeling of meaninglessness of existence, emptiness, melancholy, as well as a feeling of anger and even shame (for example, about the way a loved one left). But most often, there is a feeling of guilt: “Why didn’t I..., because then this wouldn’t have happened.” There are many variations possible here.

Very often we undeservedly offend those we love most. We can say too much in our hearts, offend with a word, or with inattention. And then we remember all this and blame ourselves for not properly appreciating the person when he was still alive.

You cannot protect yourself from grief if you try (artificially) to forget everything. We must remember that “unprocessed” grief, even years later, can manifest itself as severe depression, which will lead to serious health problems.

Experiencing grief is a rather long process. In general, it lasts from 6 to 12 months. The meaning of the work of “sadness” is to tear your psychic energy away from a loved one lost forever. There are four known stages of “grieving”:

Up to 9 days– shock and numbness.

Up to 40 days– denial.

Up to six months– experiencing pain, accepting loss.

Up to a year – pain relief. It seems that at this time a person is already able to manage his grief. But the gentle repetition of all these stages continues throughout the second year. At this time, another (last) surge of guilt is possible. Typically, “grieving” is completely completed by the end of the second year. This does not mean that it is considered normal to no longer remember or be sad about the deceased person. It’s just that now we have learned to live without him, but we keep a bright and kind memory of him.

All these stages of “grieving” are quite conventional. Some people, due to their personality, will be able to cope with this faster, others much more slowly. But, if the “grieving” and the inability to live without the deceased person has been prolonged, then in this case you should definitely contact a specialist. It is difficult to give any general recommendations; each case must be considered separately. A specialist will help you first cope with your feelings and realize quite important things. Then, it will help you change so much that even a severe loss cannot be the reason that you decide to derail YOUR life.

Look around at how many LIVING people around you need your attention and help. They are alive, and just like your loved one once, they experience feelings of joy, sadness, pain, melancholy (from loneliness and hopelessness), etc. The main thing is that you can still help them, surround them with care and attention so that then don’t reproach or blame yourself when it’s too late.

Try meditation on love. After all, the bonds of love are never destroyed, but only move to other levels. Close your eyes, think about some person dear to your heart (not dead or near death), with whom you cannot always be together. This could be a person you haven't seen for a long time. Try to understand how do you think about him? Where can you mentally picture this person? What do you hear? Do you see a clear picture? Is it far away?

Next, think about someone (living) or something from your past who or what you feel is always nearby (even if it is not), for example, your close friend or your favorite childhood toy. Now notice how you mentally see and hear this person or this object, so that it is as if it is constantly with you. Next, take the memories of that dear person with whom you cannot be close, and try to change the quality of these memories so that they match the quality of the memories of the object or person that you always feel close to you. To do this, you may need to bring this image closer or, instead of seeing it to the left or behind, you will need to place it in your heart. Or maybe it’s about a certain quality of tempo, tone or depth of the voice, or the quality of color and brightness, thanks to which it seems more real and closer to you. Allow the memory of this person to find its place in your consciousness, in your values ​​and beliefs. Think for a moment about the wonderful feeling of love, love without measure and without boundaries. Pay your attention to where this love comes from: somewhere from the depths, from the heart, or it occupies absolutely all the space around you. Try to see this love as the purest shining light. Let it become even brighter and shine both within you and around you. Next, take this bright light and turn it into a silver sparkling thread. Stretch it from your heart to the heart of someone close and dear to you. You need to realize that this thread can connect your hearts, no matter how far you are from each other. This thread never breaks, the light in it never goes out, it can be stretched to any number of people. Now feel this thread running through you. Next, the light of this thread will begin to expand and shine and gradually fill the entire surrounding space with its light. Remember that this light can fill the entire Universe. Along these threads, the love of the people to whom you extended it comes to you (these threads can be extended to everyone who is dear to you and whom you meet in your life), and in due time they also give you their love. Thanks to this, you are filled with the light of love and you have something to give to other people. Make sure you feel this bright love for yourself, listen to how your heart beats. Feel with every cell of your body that you are a perfect being, a perfect person, you are capable of being an independent person, an individual. Feel your originality and irresistibility. You cannot allow yourself to become isolated in your grief. After all, you are in a “connection” with other people who give you their love and need your love. You can give them a lot if you don’t lose that much. This should under no circumstances be allowed, because by doing so you can disrupt the harmony of love. After all, these people will continue to give you their love, but you will not. Don’t break these bright threads and soon you will feel that you will begin to acquire more and more new ones. Life goes on!

Now, as your eyes open, completely transfer your extraordinary personality (yourself) into this real world, and let there be a constant exchange of a bright feeling of love between you and other people along invisible threads. Breathe, live, accept love and give your love!

Well, in conclusion, I’ll give you a few spells.

The following plot will help ease your pain:

In the morning or evening dawn, you need to wash yourself with the backs of your hands (you can near a river, stream, lake, but you can also under a tap), saying the following spell:

Wash away the sadness
(wash your face and read on)
Spring water, queen water,
Take it from me, from the servant of God (name),
Wash away my sadness and sadness into the blue sea.”

Melancholy can be brought out into the sunset. Stand with your left shoulder towards the lightning and say:

“How are you, evening dawn,
You don't grieve at the dawn of the morning,
You don’t yearn for the sun and the moon,
So (so-and-so) wouldn’t be sad,
I didn’t grieve for the slave (such and such).
Be, all my words, strong, molded, unchanging.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Amen".

Here is another conspiracy to prevent constant thoughts about a deceased person:

You need to go out into the field and, without looking, collect any grass around you. You need to put it in your bosom and where it will be hidden from prying eyes. You should pick the grass and say:

“No one sowed you, grass, God gave you, the wind scattered you. So the wind would take my melancholy, take it away and scatter it across the free field. As for you, grass, not a single soul hurts, no one’s heart aches, does not ache, so that I, God’s servant (name), for God’s servant (name) do not suffer, do not cry, do not sob with everyone forget about God's day. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen".

Then you need to throw this grass near your home and your soul should soon calm down.

Our dead are like sentinels, not because they need it for some reason. But because we just can’t part with them. We just don't know how.

Once upon a time, the ability to correctly release a dead creature was an ordinary tool in the hands of anyone: everyone hunted, and even small children competently twisted the heads of birds caught in a snare.

Today, few people have hunting as a way of life. Slightly more people in villages routinely kill their pets for food. The rest come into contact with death in two situations: when people around them pass away, and when chance encounters occur with the unexpected death of a bird, dog, or cat. In addition, death comes from food or things made from dead animals - if no one bothered to release them correctly.

Those who use parts of the flesh of other creatures in magical practice - from a bear's fang to goat skin for a tambourine - are usually aware that it makes sense to first settle all issues with the previous owner. Otherwise, no one guarantees that the creature will not appear and make legitimate claims.

FAMILY GHOSTS

The pride and beauty of family English castles, mournful howling ghosts actually appear not only at night. They are 24/7. But their strength is not enough to reach us in the bright and cheerful time of the day. We are busy with other things and we have no time to pay attention to faint sounds and pale movements of the air. But at night, when it’s dark and quiet, any performance is a great success. Sufferers from distant days appear, long-dead relatives drop in... Quite often one can see animal beings that have lost their corporeal shell, but continue to hang out in this best of worlds. At the same time, they did not surrender to anyone (except perhaps a couple of necromancers), and they make life very difficult for those with whom they are found. Has anyone scratched a dead fox off their collar at the window? Such a ghostly, but real in its disgusting sound...

There is no point in being afraid of them. Emotionally they have their dividend. This residual phenomenon can neither eat you nor harm you. But it will be very happy if you panic or... practice letting go of the creature. Rest in peace, in general.

Every nation in the world has myths about complex rituals and brave heroes who knew the secrets of the dead. I won’t retell them; they are much more beautiful and terrible from first-hand accounts.

Currently, a priest of any denomination copes well with the necessary ritual, and secular burial, despite its parody and grotesqueness, at least fulfills this function.

So it’s worth reading further if you:
- the flesh of a restless creature is in your hands, and you have plans for it. For example, make an amulet from a fox bone. Or a case for needles made from a bird's paw.
- problems have arisen with restless people, and they constantly appear in your thoughts, in dreams or in ghostly form.
- in wild conditions there was a need to kill an animal for food and not to turn the entire forest (steppe, desert) against itself.
- in the wild there was a need to pay last respects to the found human remains (and any remains quietly hope that the one who finds them will put them to rest).

REST IN PEACE

The main thing to do if you need to let go of a deceased creature is to perform a burial ritual.
This does not mean at all that you will have to drag yourself, like a Goth, to a pet cemetery and dig out and rebury your beloved cat if you still come across it in your apartment in the form of a hissing shadow.

It is required to transfer the creature to another world and make sure that it does not leave anything inorganic here. A person who often practices encounters with someone's death carries out such rituals quickly and almost unnoticed by someone else's eyes. Any successful hunter says goodbye to a dead boar, bury the animal’s blood and pick up all the “tails” so that the shaggy mug does not look through the window. But we will consider what happens during such a ritual in more detail.

EQUIPING TO ANOTHER WORLD

There are many ways.
Symbolic burial can be very different.
In some places, this is the ritual burning and scattering of a piece of hair or wool to the wind. In others, it involves burying a small bone or tooth in the ground. It is very good when it is possible to put to rest the skull of an animal or a person. The main thing is that the flesh touches the ground in any way, goes into the ground - dust or bone.

It is very good to bury the gift together with the flesh of the creature. Usually this is what served as food (for a bird it is a handful of grain, a piece of meat, for other animals it is what they were supposed to eat during life).

Such rituals are best performed in the place where the creature lived: in the case of a wild animal, not far from the forest or in the forest itself.

The skeleton or what is left of the animal is placed so that it is “directed” towards its habitat. In this case, to the forest.

When burying a small part of the flesh, it is necessary to perform certain actions that will protect the spirit of the creature from becoming a wandering spirit, and protect oneself from the uncontrollable influence of the creature.

SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS:

1. A circle made of a neutral substance. (we are not goths or necromancers, so there is no need to water with our own blood :-)
Chalk or string will do. If there is nothing, use a knife on the ground.
2. In a circle or without a circle, if one is not used, the fire must burn. Any - from a candle-tablet to a big fire. The fire is carried over the flesh; if the remains are small, then they are carried over the fire three times.
3. There must be metal on the body or in the hands of the person performing the ritual.

RELOWING THE ANIMAL

Light the fire. Purify the flesh or thing of a deceased creature with fire (see above).
Bring gratitude to the creature for appearing in your life, for the Spirit bringing it to you.

Declaring to the creature that its time is up and it is now free to go to the Great Forest (in the case of a wild animal). You give him food for the long journey and promise to take care of whatever remnants of flesh remain in your hands (or neck, if it's a fox collar).

If the spirit of a creature is needed, you can call upon it to remain within the confines of the parts of the flesh you intend to use. In the case when you plan complete control, your own blood (a couple of drops) is used as a gift. But it is much more practical and useful not to buy for blood, but to offer the creature mutual cooperation and the right to manifest itself in the world through your practices (for example, in the form of a tambourine made of animal skin).

True, not all animals are interested in this opportunity. Most want to leave entirely as quickly as possible and be reborn. If you interfere with this, you may end up being possessed by this spirit. So be careful.

If the spirit of the animal leaves completely, then the remains of the flesh that you intend to use will still contain the power of the animal and its key properties. If the spirit responds and wants to remain in the flesh and manifest itself, there is a clear sign. Most likely, this spirit belonged not just to an animal, but to an animal that once had a higher essence. In this case, he is offered direct cooperation. You need to keep your eyes open with such spirits, because they have powerful intentions and their own goals.

COMPLETION OF DESTINY

When we truly say goodbye to people who have passed on, we complete not only their business here, but also our business with them. If this is not done, we will become overgrown with threads connecting the two worlds. This is not bad for those who practice in both worlds and are able to realize such connections, but it is energy-consuming. Especially a lot of energy is wasted if you haven’t reached an agreement, haven’t finished playing some human game with the now dead person. The mental dialogue with the deceased continues, acquiring new turns of topics. You spend your time and vitality on this, without letting go of the departed.

You should not be afraid that, having released the deceased, you will forget him. All the memories will remain with you, however, they will no longer tug and pull. And, most likely, those knots that were tied by him or her will be untied. After the ritual of letting go of the deceased, people are quite often freed from traumas and their consequences, if they were associated with this person.

In order for everything to work out, you need to give yourself a few days to remember. It will be great if you can write down in short abstracts everything that you remember about this person. Facts, assessments, emotions.
Let this record sit for a while. During this period, you need to find some kind of thing that connected you and the departed. A letter from you to him (her) or vice versa. Joint photo (you can make a copy). A strand of hair (yeah, that happens too). This thing will represent a deceased creature.

Now it's up to the gift. What would the departed person be happy about? A pinch of tobacco for a smoker-grandfather, a “Gardener’s Calendar” for a grandmother, a disc with the favorite song of a deceased acquaintance... A gift can also be something that served as food for the spirit of the departed: amulets, rosaries, etc. Often the deceased themselves try to point out what needs to be put into the ground or burn and scatter. A universal gift is bread or a lump of porridge.

Choose a free evening. Sit at the table. And write a farewell letter. What it will be like depends on you. You can list all the grievances and gratitude. You can say hello. It is most effective if the letter says more not about the deceased, but about you. And what YOU think about him, what you wish for him, what you want to tell him.
When should the letter be completed? When you feel relief.

Now it's time to go outside. Find a deserted area with open land. If you feel that it is better to go to the burial place, go to the cemetery. But the earth is the same everywhere, and the spirit of your deceased is certainly not bound by geography.

If the idea of ​​burial in the ground is close to you, wrap your letter, a communication item and a parting gift in a piece of linen, and bury it all under a tree. You can also burn everything and scatter it to the wind, you can throw ashes on the water - these are the forces that separate the worlds. Turn to existence (spirit, gods, absolute), with a request for freedom and joy for your deceased - and for your freedom from him. And then go home and wash your face with cold water.

All. Alive - alive.

Nekele, 2010.

P.S. I don't know the author of the first picture. The second author (here is a fragment) is Lisa Evans.

For believers, it is far from a secret that the body is only physical matter. It is generally accepted that the soul is the person himself, and the rest is “clothes”. The body dies, but the soul lives forever. And so it is in almost all religions.

Once upon a time, scientists even conducted an experiment in which they found that after death a person becomes lighter by a certain number of grams. Then they decided that this is what the soul weighs.

For many years now people have been tormented by questions about the soul. About what happens to her “there” further, after physical death. There are many legends, myths and superstitions. And since the soul is something intangible, all assumptions about it will remain just assumptions.

The most common question that interests many people is how to let go of the soul of your loved one?! Let's first figure out what it means to “let go of the soul”?

What does it mean to “let go of a person’s soul”?

First of all, after the death of a loved one, you need to understand that he did not get into any trouble and nothing can be changed. It simply doesn't exist. Not in this world and in this space. The only thing that has changed is that he cannot say, do, hug, etc. Well, the soul is alive. One can only guess what is happening to her and where she is. For us humans, this still remains a mystery. You need to let go of a person’s soul within yourself. To understand that she is moving further into a world unknown to us.

How to “let go of a person’s soul.”

It is important to understand here that this happens more on a spiritual level. After all, physically we cannot touch the soul. Spiritually, we often “hold” others. We become attached to each other. Also spiritually, not physically. Man is designed in such a way that he always strives for union. He needs connections with other people. We are dependent on each other. And when loved ones “leave” us, whether in the literal sense or in the sense of death, we continue to “keep” them close in our hearts, souls and heads.

In order to allow the soul of a loved one to calmly “go” into another world, you need to work on yourself. We need to understand that the soul no longer needs our physical world and it will be better for it not to drown in our tears and suffering, but to move on, knowing that we are okay and that we will remember in a good way. All we can do to help the soul of a loved one during the transition to another world is to pray for him. Different religions have their own rules and canons that people who have lost a loved one must follow.

If we touch slightly on the mystical side, then for the first 40 days after the death of a person, his loved ones should cover all mirrors with thick fabric. It is generally accepted that the soul can get lost in the mirror world and not find the way.

How to “let go of the soul” of an unborn child.

Every person has a soul. And the child who was conceived and was in the womb also already had his own soul. This is the first thing that arises in a person. And if such a tragedy happened that the child did not see the world, this is a huge grief for parents, which not everyone can survive. If people are believers, then they know that the Lord takes the soul when He needs it and, unfortunately, we cannot influence this in any way. Such misfortunes do not just happen. Most likely this is a lesson for failed parents. Or God saved us from something even more terrible. You need to pray for the child in the same way. We need to say goodbye to him, giving him life “out there” - in a more perfect world. And when the time comes, they will be given another chance to become parents!

It is also necessary to let go of the soul of an aborted child! It is very important here to ask for forgiveness to him if this choice was made by you intentionally.

Perhaps it will become a little easier if parents who have lost a child while still in the womb perform something like a ritual that they can come up with for themselves. If the pregnancy was short and the child does not have to be buried, then you can do it yourself. For example, bury some toy or something that reminds of this tragedy. Often women keep pregnancy tests. You can even bury it. Lay flowers, say goodbye. This is a more psychological technique in order to ease your state of mind at least a little.

How to “let go of the soul” of a dead husband or dead wife.

Very often, after the death of one of the spouses, the other begins to fall into a real, protracted depression, literally making a “crypt” or “altar” out of the house, where an incredible number of different photographs of the husband or wife hang. This makes it very difficult for the soul to “leave”. She rushes about and sees herself everywhere. She sees suffering and it is very difficult for her to leave. It will be enough to place one photo with a black ribbon and a candle next to it for 40 days. After which the candle can be taken to the grave and lit there. You can save the photo on your desk or wall, but one thing. Just for memory. And it’s best if this photo is associated with some pleasant event. The main thing is that, looking at him, there is no deep mourning. If this occurs, it is better to remove the photo. After all, one can commemorate and remember without any “attributes” or auxiliary objects.

How to “let go of the soul” of a deceased loved one.

The most important thing is to love! Here the situations are very similar to the previous one, where we talked about spouses. Also, you should not make “altars” from photographs and gifts. If there are any memorable gifts or toys, then, of course, you can leave them and look at them. You can keep them and remember your loved one, but if this causes more pain, then it is better to take them to the grave, keeping one thing.

How the soul of the deceased is “released” on the 40th day.

On the 40th day after the death of a person, it is customary to visit the church and order a memorial service for the deceased. You can also order a liturgy. In the church they also light candles “for the repose”, while reading a prayer “for the repose of the soul”.

Day 40 is considered very important, just like day 9. On these days, the soul goes through the most difficult tests on its way to the “new world.” Throughout the 40 days, relatives tirelessly pray for the deceased, helping his soul. Then it is customary to have a memorial meal, where loved ones gather around a large table, read a prayer at the beginning of the meal, remember and also read a prayer at the end of the meal. And in an amicable way, there should be either very little alcohol on the table or no alcohol at all.

For some nations and religions, it is customary to organize some kind of charity meal or help the homeless on the 40th day after the death of a loved one. Or simply do some kind deed for a beggar or homeless person.

Death is a natural and inevitable process. All people live and subconsciously wait for death. Some people begin to feel in advance that they will leave soon, others leave suddenly. When, at what time and under what circumstances the life of each of us will end is already prescribed from above.

Death can be natural (from old age) or unexpected, quick (accident) or painful (from disease or torture), sometimes absurd. How exactly this or that person will die depends only on his karma. On the one hand, death is inevitable, on the other it is unpredictable, but, almost always, unexpected!

Losing a loved one- real grief, which is very difficult and sometimes impossible to survive. But no matter how hard it is, we are obliged to let our deceased relatives go as soon as possible.

Why we should release the dead, how to do this and what the consequences might be if we don’t do this - we’ll talk further:

After 40 days from the date of death, it is necessary to get rid of all the things of the deceased (give away, donate, burn). It is also necessary to remove all photographs of the deceased from visible and accessible places (walls, chests of drawers, photos from screensavers on the phone, computer, from wallets). While there are things in our environment that remind us of a deceased relative, we consciously or subconsciously think about him, constantly remember, worry, and cry. This way we not only keep the soul of our loved one on Earth, but also create problems for ourselves.

What's happening: an energetic connection is formed between a dead and living person. The deceased is not released, and he is forced to stay close to his loved ones, who worry about him and cry. Gradually, everyone in the house begins to get sick, because... the dead feed on the energy of the living.

Against the background of attachments to deceased relatives, diseases such as asthma and diabetes mellitus develop within 3-5 years (in 80% of cases). If this binding is removed, the disease will recede as a consequence. In some cases, other diseases, such as obesity, may also develop. If an attachment has formed, you will constantly feel tired, lack of strength, and cannot force yourself to do anything. Against this background, some people begin to eat a lot to replenish energy reserves, and as a result, obesity.

There are people who like to regularly visit cemeteries and drink alcohol at graves. Some are so overcome with grief that they spend days there. After visiting the cemetery, a person feels very tired, heaviness, and headache. This happens because the dead feed on the energy of the living, so it is recommended to visit the resting places as rarely as possible.

After visiting the cemetery, each time you need to wash your clothes (from underwear to jackets and raincoats), take a bath (to wash off the cemetery energy), and wash your shoes.

Absolutely not drink alcoholic beverages at graves, take some objects, flowers, soil, etc. from there. Otherwise, you can create a connection with the other world, and, as a result, get sick.

It is not uncommon for settlements to occur in cemeteries (dead to living). This is very dangerous for health and life, so try to visit such places as little as possible. As a rule, souls who cannot find peace in the other world are settled: the souls of suicides, as well as those who died unexpectedly or violently. We are often contacted by people who have a problem with their home; they suffer greatly, hear voices, and are haunted by hallucinations. In such cases, it is necessary to perform an exorcism.

VERY DANGEROUS: During the funeral, place things that belong to you in the coffin with the deceased. People who do this become ill within a year and may die if help is not provided in time. Don’t create attachments for yourself, live in the world of the living! If you put a personal item in a coffin, and after some time you begin to have health problems, there is only one way out - to dig up the grave and remove this item.

VERY GOOD: not to bury, but to burn the bodies of the deceased. Even better is to scatter the ashes. So, you will not be tied to the grave, you will have nowhere to go. The soul of your loved one will be grateful to you!

If diabetes mellitus occurs due to the connection to a deceased relative, it is enough to remove the connection, and the diabetes goes away. In my practice, there are cases when diabetes completely disappears after 3-5 sessions. But everything is individual.

No matter how hard it is, you need to understand that death is an inevitable phenomenon. Don't keep your dead close, let them go! The living have no place in the world of the dead, and the dead have no place in the world of the living. The time will come and we will all leave! But know that death is not the end!

Death is a natural and inevitable process. All people live and subconsciously wait for death. Someone begins to feel in advance that they will soon leave, someone dies suddenly. When, at what time and under what circumstances the life of each of us will end is already prescribed from above.

Death can be natural - from old age. Or unexpected, fast - an accident can happen to a person. There is a painful death from disease or torture.

How exactly this or that person will die depends only on his karma. Death is inevitable, unpredictable and almost always comes unexpectedly.

Losing a loved one- real grief, which is very difficult and sometimes impossible to survive. But no matter how hard it is, we are obliged to let our deceased relatives go as soon as possible.

What should you do after the death of your loved ones?

1. It is necessary to get rid of all the belongings of the deceased.

This must be done after 40 days from the date of death. Items can be given away, donated or burned. It is also necessary to remove all photographs of the deceased from visible and accessible places. Take photos from walls, chests of drawers, remove them from screensavers on your phone, computer, and take them out of wallets.

While there are things in our environment that remind us of a deceased relative, we consciously or subconsciously think about him, worry, and cry. This way we not only keep the soul of our loved one on Earth, but also create problems for ourselves.

What's happening: an energetic connection is formed between a dead and living person. The deceased is not released, and he is forced to stay close to his loved ones, who worry and cry because of him. Gradually, everyone in the house begins to get sick, as the dead feed on the energy of the living.

Against the background of attachments to deceased relatives, diseases such as asthma and diabetes mellitus develop within 3-5 years. This happens 80% of the time. If this binding is removed, the disease will recede as a consequence.

In my practice, there are cases when diabetes that arose against the background of attachment completely disappeared after 3-5 sessions. But everything is individual.

In some cases, other diseases, such as obesity, may also develop. If an attachment has formed, you will constantly feel tired, lack of strength, and will not be able to force yourself to do anything. Against this background, some people begin to eat a lot to replenish energy reserves, and end up becoming obese.

1. Avoid frequent visits to cemeteries

There are people who like to regularly visit cemeteries and drink alcohol at graves. Some are so overcome with grief that they spend days there.

After visiting the cemetery, a person feels very tired, heaviness, and headache. This happens because the dead feed on the energy of the living, so it is recommended to visit the resting places as rarely as possible.

After the cemetery, it is necessary to wash clothes every time - from underwear to jackets and raincoats. You must definitely take a bath or shower to wash off the cemetery energy and wash your shoes.

Absolutely not drink alcoholic beverages at graves, take some objects, flowers, earth, etc. from there. Otherwise, you can create a connection with the other world. This can also lead to illness.

It is not uncommon for the dead to move in with the living in cemeteries. This is very dangerous for health and life, so try to visit such places as little as possible.

As a rule, souls who cannot find peace in the other world move in. These are the souls of suicides, as well as those who died unexpectedly or violently. We are often contacted by people who have a problem with their home; they suffer greatly, hear voices, and are haunted by hallucinations. In such cases, it is necessary to perform an exorcism.

1. Do not put your belongings in the coffin of the deceased

This VERY DANGEROUS. People who do this get sick within a year and may die if they are not helped in time.

Don’t create attachments for yourself, live in the world of the living! If you put a personal item in a coffin, and after some time you begin to have health problems, there is only one way out - to dig up the grave and remove this item. It is also necessary to carry out energetic work to eliminate the attachment.

1. If possible, cremate the deceased's body.

VERY GOOD not to bury, but to burn the bodies of the dead. Even better is to scatter the ashes. This way you will not be tied to the grave, you will have nowhere to go.

The soul of your loved one will be grateful to you!

No matter how hard it is, you need to understand that death is an inevitable phenomenon. Don't keep your dead close, let them go! There is no place for the living in the world of the dead, and for the dead there is no place in the world of the living. The time will come and we will all leave! But know that death is not the end!

Asan, 26 years old, married, 2 children, technician. It's been 6 years since my mother's death. Mom suffered a massive hemorrhage and suddenly died before my eyes in half an hour. When she died, she could no longer speak, but her look is still before my eyes. I grew up without a father, alone in the family. I took the loss very hard. How to say, there is still a piece of grief left in the heart or soul, it accumulates and periodically breaks out. It accumulates, I mean, sometimes on the street I see her silhouette among passers-by, or in moments of joy or grief suddenly the heart-aching thought “If only my mother could see this now” comes to me, in a dream I see my mother, she came from a trip, she did not die, fortunately there is no limit to mine, I rush to hug her, tell her about my life, about her grandchildren, whom she has not seen. The worst thing is waking up. I'm a married adult now, 6 years have passed and I still can't handle it. MAYBE the question is in the wrong place, maybe I just need guarantees from someone from the clergy that I will see her again? Maybe I’m reproaching myself for not being able to help my mother, because it was possible to save her?

Answers from psychologists

Good day, Asan.

Yes, losing a loved one is always very painful. But death is part of life, it is a natural process. Sooner or later, we will all lose our parents and no matter at what age and from what, but we will lose them. This is life and there is nothing you can do about it. We must move on with our lives.

Asan, think about this question, what would your mother want for you? Imagine if she would like it that you are so obsessed with her? To make her feel when she sees your suffering?

For what? For what? Asan!

There is a belief that the souls of the dead cannot find peace until their loved ones release them. Your mother is tormented by the fact that you cannot let her go and by how much pain she caused you with her death.

Asan, don’t you think that you are selfish? You are not mourning her, but your feelings and expectations towards her. Asan, if you really loved your mother and if you are not selfish, then let her go. May she finally rest in peace. Everyone you have lost physically is always with you spiritually, in your heart. Their love for you remains there. Keep this and pass it on to your grandchildren. Those wonderful moments that you spent with your mother will remain with you forever. This is the most important and priceless thing.

Finally let her go, don't torture her anymore. How to let go? Go to her grave, talk to her. And tell her that you are letting her go. Then not only she, but you too will find peace. There was nothing you could have done to save her, that's life, Asan.

Everything will pass and everything will be fine.

I wish you success.

Asan! I advise you to read M. Newton, for example his book “The Purpose of the Soul”. This will help you cope with your grief and make your memories easier. Newton's research was based on hypnosis. You can read information on hypnosis on my website:

http://sonrazuma.ucoz.ru/index/gipnoz/0-4

Hello ASAN! You wrote to the right address. Unlived feelings and unexpressed thoughts and words live in the human soul and prevent you from living completely in the present! The fact that after the departure of your parents a bright memory remains is good and it should be so, but in your soul there remains bitterness from the loss of your mother and wine, which prevents you from receiving joy from life and communication with the living; and know, if you are still torturing yourself that something depended on you back then, then her soul THERE is restless!!! On your own, if you wish, go to the grave and express everything that is boiling in your soul and apologize if this makes you feel better! And most importantly - don't blame yourself!!! Since, in that situation, YOU DID EVERYTHING DEPENDING ON YOU! FORGIVE YOURSELF AND LET GO OF THE SITUATION! And if, nevertheless, it is difficult, then visit a psychologist in person and work with him on this topic. All the best. Sincerely, Lyudmila K.

Asan, it’s clear from everything that your grief has not yet been overcome. You still cannot accept her death, come to terms with it in your soul. Indeed, there is a belief that if a person cannot accept the death of a loved one, then his soul cannot calm down and suffers there, in heaven. Unfortunately, life is designed in such a way that sooner or later we lose loved ones and sometimes it is very difficult to come to terms with this. You were very young when your mother died, you were only 20 years old. This is a very difficult loss for such a young man. What can I recommend here? You definitely need the help of a psychologist so that he can help you react to your feelings, help you let go of your mother’s death, and ease your feelings of guilt in front of her. After all, a person lives in our heart after physical death and we can often remember him. The main thing is that this does not poison our lives, does not take away our energy, because we need to live, raise children and grandchildren. And then the departed person will definitely be happy for his loved ones. If it is not possible to go to a psychologist, use the recommendations of your colleagues. Good luck to you!

Hello Asan!

Your grief is great, and I sincerely sympathize with you. But normally, a person should continue to live effectively, even when people close and dear to him pass away. This is the order of life, and by stopping, in a sense, his life after the death of a loved one, plunging into grief for more than one year, a person violates this order of life. I think you are stuck at some stage of experiencing grief (offhand, at the stage of denial, but this still needs to be checked), which means you cannot complete this experience and continue to live. Your life, of course, will not be the same as before the loss, but it should be satisfying and effective, it should make you happy. I think you should seek professional help from a psychologist who specializes in loss, since you do not have enough resources to cope with the grief of loss on your own. All the best, Elena.

Hello Asan!

Six years ago you lost your mother, the closest and dearest person in your life. You still miss her. Your dreams speak about this. You were there during her death and this, in my opinion, was the most you could do to help her at that moment and you did it.

Asan, it is very important to face unlived feelings from the role of a son, to allow yourself, an adult, to grieve for what you lost when your mother left. It is more effective to do this together with a psychologist or psychotherapist.

I sympathize with your grief. Regards, Tatiana.

Instructions

Yes, it’s very difficult for you now. But try to call on common sense and logic to help. Tell yourself: “The irreparable has already happened. Tears and grief can’t fix anything.” Think about who would be better off if you hopelessly undermine your health or psyche? Certainly not to your family and friends. You must pull yourself together, if only for the sake of preserving the memory of the deceased.

Very often such a difficult experience is a consequence of feelings of guilt. For example, you somehow offended the deceased or did not give him due attention and care. Now you constantly remember this, you are tormented by belated repentance, tormented by remorse. This is understandable and natural. But think again: even if you are really guilty before the deceased, is grief really the best means of atonement? There are so many people around who need help. Do something for them, help. Make amends with good deeds. You will find where to put your strength. This, by the way, will help take your mind off painful thoughts and torment.

If you are a practicing Christian, try to find solace in religion. After all, according to Christian canons, only the body is mortal - a mortal shell, and the soul is immortal. In those cases when you are experiencing a very difficult time, remember the words: “Whom the Lord loves, He early calls to Himself.” And also that the child’s soul will certainly go to heaven.

Pray for the deceased, often bring memorial notes to church. If you feel that you still cannot let him go, be sure to talk to the priest. Don't be shy, ask all the questions that bother you and that you want answered. Even this one: “If God is really good and just, why did this happen?” Often, in order to calm down, you first need to simply talk it out.

Try to convince yourself with this argument: “He loved me, he would be very sad if he saw me suffer, suffer.” Sometimes it helps. There is another good way - throw yourself into work. The more time and effort it takes, the less there is left for painful thoughts.

The very painful topic of parting with a loved one requires a tactful approach, great internal strength and time. Letting go of a person is catastrophically difficult, especially if feelings remain. But you need to learn this in order to live on and move forward, without him.

Instructions

First, you need to accept the fact that you no longer have a future with this person, and in order to continue living, you need to let him go. Perhaps, awareness of this situation is the most difficult thing in the whole process, since often people simply do not believe in what is happening, harbor hopes and do not let the person go, and this can last for years. If you cannot accept the care of your loved one on your own, be sure to contact a competent psychotherapist.

There is a technique for returning that positive energy of love and affection that you once endowed with your other half. The essence of the work is repeated visualization. Imagine how energy in the form of a golden ray, sun or hearts flows back from it to you.

The fact is that on a psychological level you invested a lot in your partner, and when he left, you were left with nothing. This shows up. Destroy psychological dependence by returning what is yours. After a while you will feel better and you will feel full again.

Keep yourself busy. At first you will have to force yourself, classes will take place in an unconscious automatic mode, and your thoughts will be occupied by the image of the person leaving. But continue, even if everything falls out of your hands - don’t get discouraged, do it.

When, thanks to the practice of returning your energy, your vitality increases, start yourself. Take care of your appearance, education, hobbies. Sad thoughts about the departed person will not stop visiting you, although they will take on a lighter color. Sublimate in creativity, paying tribute to the beauty that was in yours. By doing this you also let the person go.

Reduce the number of possible situations and people that remind you of your ex-lover. Remove him from all social networks and temporarily do not meet with friends. Don't be interested in this person's life, but focus on yourself - this is your most important task.

Over time, the same openness will return to you and, although the wound will be fresh, a new person may appear on your path. Accept it, because without partings there are no meetings. Don’t close yourself to new ones; perhaps they were given to you for something important. As a rule, a person who has experienced a difficult situation becomes wiser and stronger, and the chance of building a correct and lasting relationship with a new person is much higher.

Sources:

• how to let a guy go

The passing of a loved one brings a lot of heartache and despondency. The mind refuses to accept the fact of what happened; words of consolation often do not have an effective impact. However, despite the severity of the situation, it is necessary to continue to live.

The death of a loved one: how to understand and accept it

Humility means accepting what happened. Stop denying what happened, don't be angry at the whole world. Think about the fact that thousands of people die on Earth every day, there is no escape from this, death is the natural end of life for any living creature.

After someone close to you dies, a person has many questions: who invented death? What is it for? Why did my relative die? All these questions are rhetorical, people ask them again and again throughout the existence of the world. If you are a believer, many of these questions can be answered by reading the Bible.

It is very difficult for an ordinary person to understand the essence of death and its meaning. When he is born, he knows that sooner or later he will definitely die, but most people try not to think about it. When you are suffering for one of your loved ones, think about the fact that in a hundred years there will be no one living on Earth left now; more than one billion people will die. This thought may not console you much, but still remember that no one is eternal.

It is also worth taking into account that the universe is much more complex than it seems to people. Death is needed for something - for spiritual experience, for the transition to another world, another state, etc., depending on your faith, and is a link inextricably linked with life.

How to cope with the pain of loss?

Keep love for the deceased person in your heart, so you will always remember him. At first after the loss it will be very difficult for you, but the pain will gradually begin to dull.

Try to be distracted by some things, do not isolate yourself and your grief. Remember that you are not alone in this, every day people lose their loved ones who pass away for a variety of reasons: those who died due to illness or as a result of accidents, who died during military conflicts, who became victims of criminals, who committed suicide etc.

Team up with other family members, together it will be easier for you to survive the pain of loss. Support each other, strive to ensure that there is room in your home for positive emotions. If you believe in God, attend church, pray for your soul

Hello.
Three years ago my dad passed away. It all happened too suddenly - on the way home from work, his heart stopped. I was 16 years old then, and this was the first death of a loved one in my life. A month and a half later, his grandmother, his mother, died. It wouldn't be so hard because it was clear to me that this would happen - she loved her son too much.
My problem is that I can't come to terms with him leaving. I'm waiting for him, I really am. It feels like it's not over yet. After all, he should have returned then! There were no prerequisites, he felt as always...
It's been three years and I just can't. I am survived by my mother and brother. It’s very difficult with my mother, because she put a lot of things on me. I often have the feeling that I have taken my father's place in the family. He was a very strong man, a real leader. And it’s difficult for my mother to cope with everything alone, so from the very first days after his death I had to take a lot into my own hands. I even had to call his friend to tell him that he died because his mother couldn't.
I was recently referred to a psychiatrist because I have been having unbearable headaches for several months now, but my medical indicators are normal. And the psychiatrist said that I had problems, that my head hurt due to tension and that I needed to be treated at a psycho-neurological clinic. I understand that I have problems. I have become very withdrawn, I try not to let people into my world. I have very few friends and no boyfriend. But the problem is that I don't need them. I just want my dad back. And it hurts me so much every time to convince myself that he will not return, although hope still lives in my soul.
Over these three years, a lot has changed in my life, but in my soul there is still the same black hole that sucks me in from the inside. It hurts me that he is gone. But I can’t let go of this pain, I know that it will always be with me, because this is the only reminder that he really existed.
I don't know what to do about this and I feel like something is wrong. I feel like I'm going through all this wrong. It’s difficult for me to communicate with people because of this, because every time I meet a new person, I’m afraid that he will ask me about my parents, and I will again tell this terrible story of my father’s death. But at the same time, I have friends who don’t know anything about this, because they didn’t ask about my father, and I myself don’t want to raise this topic, although I feel that it’s wrong. But still, it’s unpleasant for me that the person I’m communicating with doesn’t know about my loss.
I understand that I am too deep in my feelings, that I need to be able to let people go. And I understand that dad wouldn’t like it that it took me so long to get back to normal. Everyone around me tells me how strong I am, but in my heart I am so weak... I really have no idea what to do. There is a certain division in my soul - one part wants to let go of this pain, get on with my life, because I am young and “all roads are open to me,” but the other, on the contrary, holds this pain so tightly and does not let go. And it seems to me that this is wrong, but at the same time, it seems that if I stop worrying, stop thinking about it, it will be tantamount to betrayal.
Dad was very close to me, and as a child my brother and I had a division that dad loved me, and mom loved my brother. This is childish nonsense, but still... And now dad is gone. And it hurts so much that sometimes I just want to die.
I remember that at the beginning, in the first few months after his death, I dreamed that I would have a young man who could share this pain with me. But he didn’t show up, and now I feel like I don’t want to share my pain with anyone. I want to keep it, I want to feel it, since this is the only way to realize that dad was in my life.
It's very difficult without him. Before, I always felt his support, I knew that he would help and protect. Now I’m alone because I don’t see my mother or brother as a person stronger than me. I know that I am strong and that I can handle this. But sometimes you just want to become small and weak, to feel protected, to know that they will do everything for you and you won’t have to cry anymore.
I really miss him. And in all these three years I still haven’t figured out what could help me. Still, thoughts about him are constantly in my head. I envy the children I see on the street with their fathers; I can’t listen to my friends tell me about how they once again had a fight with their dads. Every time I want to scream at them to appreciate what they have.
Against the backdrop of all this, I am very worried about my mother and brother. If they don't answer the phone, are delayed, or I just don't know where they are at the moment, I have mild panic attacks (dizzy, palpitations, anxiety). I don’t tell them about this so as not to make them more nervous. I can’t cry in front of them, I can’t show my weakness, because I know what my role is. But I'm so tired of this. I just want to become daddy's little girl again.
Sorry, I understand that my problem is more like whining. And thank you if you actually read this to the end. I just don't really know how I'm going to deal with this.
Maybe I really need treatment, as the psychiatrist said? But on the other hand, I don't believe that anything can heal the soul except love. But I can’t open up to people, that’s why there’s no love. Some kind of vicious circle. I'm confused. Help me please...