Chapter Five Tom leaned back in his chair with a satisfied smile. “I've never had such a delicious meal on an airplane. Whatever you say, Michael, the added benefits that millionaires enjoy are definitely worth the effort! He extended his arms over his head and

Resourcefulness is…

from the point of view of the processes taking place inside a person - your professional reactions to the questions asked, of course, if against the background of increased pressure and attacks of opponents you are able to do more than just open your mouth, take a breath and then close it again;

when it comes to external manifestations, resourcefulness should be understood as actions, timely spoken remarks, non-verbal and verbal actions in response to attacks, killer phrases or unfair attacks against oneself. Moreover, they were said in such a way that the opponent / opponent and / or those present would want to do the same in a similar situation;

a subconscious or conscious skill and a response that is "just firmly learned." They, like grammar, can be mastered.

The situation when you are unable to utter a word arises if you do not own professional techniques, do not use the methods and tools that are appropriate in this situation, react unprofessionally to verbal attacks, if you have incorrectly assessed the situation or underestimated your opponent. That's when you react inadequately: either too violently, or even become withdrawn,

Therefore, to begin with, it is necessary to define some concepts;

Accurate answers should come at the right time. They cannot visit you retroactively on the way or even the next day, and, of course, they should not create the impression of a slow reaction, stretching the interval during which the conversation must be answered.

(usually 3-5 seconds). However, in any case, you should remember that it is better to delay the answer than to explain what you meant later;

Your answer should be elegant and relevant;

You must leave yourself and (of course, best of all) your audience or opponent with an impression of the appropriateness of what was said in the situation. Therefore, in most situations, the tools of verbal defeat, caustic insults are like charges that exploded in the barrel, and in this regard, they, like boomerang answers, are excluded. A quickly found standard response to a remark will not add points to you, and can subsequently turn the audience and opponent against you. True, for such cases, you probably prepared a couple of verbal mines, but, unfortunately, only you yourself will be the victim. Therefore, it is necessary to strive to leave a pleasant impression: you gave a suitable answer, showed an example of an adequate reaction, and remembering the situation, you are satisfied with your behavior and can confidently say: “Everything was OK, I was OK, and the situation was OK. That's why I distinguish constructive resourcefulness in a dispute from all other tricks!

Well-aimed responses are like accurate blows from a rapier that make the opponent think, but should never be a firework of verbal abuse or a fire of inquisition for your opponent;

Professional resourcefulness is designed to help find a way out of an unpleasant situation, and not stage an exchange of boxing blows and not provoke an escalation;

in a figurative sense, resourcefulness in disputes can be understood as all your witty thoughts taken together, which, although they may remain unspoken, however, allow you to stay on top, and not slide down;

Appropriate and constructive answers in the dispute should prompt the opponent to think, clarify the situation, remain in his memory so that he can analyze them;

Resourcefulness in a dispute is based on emotional perception, so your accurate answers are conscious verbal, non-verbal and paraverbal actions that explain the appropriate criticism of the actions, words of our interlocutor and invite him to continue, if you yourself want it, a constructive conversation;

Your well-aimed answers should be related to the context, with the specific phrase you want to respond to, and in no case turn into verbal garbage thrown out of place;

Your resourceful responses are aimed at resolving conflicts without allowing the conversation to become a tangle of emotional issues;

And finally, that is why your well-aimed and resourceful answers in a conversation with a critical or unpleasant interlocutor should become a reflection of your reputation, independence and at the same time high communicative intelligence. Be persistent in demonstrating your superiority.

First of all, work with your head and do not repeat stupid things after others - this is a serious requirement for your independent work with this book and at the same time an appeal to you.

Resourcefulness in the classical sense of the word is the product of a bright head and not a strong throat.

Note:

Each time you give a well-aimed response designed to end a verbal duel, you must break eye contact.

Someone who inserts a risky or, conversely, appropriate remark during a verbal skirmish, gives a good, convincing answer to the opponent in a meeting, group discussion, in a one-on-one conversation, during a round table conversation or at a conference, often nothing else there is no choice but to allow this answer to have its effect on the interlocutor.

She or he wants to enjoy the coveted sound of fanfare in his honor, the reaction of the opponent, his amazing irritation and annoying defeat. But then (wow!) the rested opponent again rushes into battle. According to statistics, in a verbal duel, the chances of staying on top are 50/50.

But why, you ask yourself, despite such a magnificent verbal blow, is he ready to continue the argument? And it's all about eye contact, looking at the interlocutor, you kind of ask: “Now what? With all my desire, I can’t imagine that you are still capable of answering this!”

Eye contact is a detail that is often overlooked, but can be crucial. On the other hand, it is a stupid habit that requires effort and concentration to get rid of. Important to remember:

Through prolonged eye contact, you invite the interlocutor to continue the verbal duel. You should not do this if you expect the exact opposite effect.

You are always faced with the choice of what direction to give to the discussion in which you are participating in your report, presentation or discussion. It could be:

Constructive direction, the purpose of which is the resumption of a discussion focused on achieving results;

Verbal skirmish, which, on the one hand, contributes to the establishment of certain relations between the line and, and on the other hand, is destructive in terms of achieving the result of communication.

The constructive direction is that you stop the escalation using a cascading technique to interrupt non-constructive digressions, the essence of which is to return the discussion to a businesslike course and to ensure that both parties are interested in its effectiveness. There are three strategies you can use to dampen an escalation:

1. Reaction at the subject level- "Rule of three Ts".

2. Reaction on an emotional level- Emotional yellow card.

3. Reaction at the meta level- "Reaction to BredaMayer."

At the first sign of a confrontation beginning to question your reputation, image or competence, it makes sense to apply the strategy of ending the confrontation at the subject level. This means that you quickly, painlessly and persistently return to the discussion of the main topic.

Let's imagine that until now the conversation has been constructive and proceeded in a businesslike way. Suddenly and almost imperceptibly, he

turned into a discussion of extraneous topics, thus deviating from the main goal. There are common personal attacks and verbal attacks that are designed to put pressure on you or bury your reputation. In such a situation, you should aim to bring the discussion back to the main topic. The appropriate response #1 is the "rule of three T's":

Touch-Turn-Talk 1

1. Touch - Rating: evaluate the topic of conversation in terms of the purpose of the discussion.

2. Turn - Return: back to the main topic.

3. Talk-Recess: delve into the main topic so that it becomes the main subject of discussion again.

Touch - Rating:“Please don’t jump into extraneous topics. Let's stay in line with the main topic of our discussion and not deviate from it.

Turn - Return:"Our topic today is the logistics of product XYZ in your facility."

Talk - Deepening:“I just wanted to draw your attention to the negative impact on our production cycles. So, how can we ensure flawless logistics in a reasonable time frame? One way is to…”

1 From English. touch - touch, turn - direct, talk - talk. - Note. per.

An alternative option that is relevant in the case of personal attacks:

Touch in the imperative mood:"Don't start a controversy, please stick to the main topic."

turn:"Our topic today is the logistics of product XYZ in the enterprise."

talk:“I have already pointed out the factors that have had a negative impact on our production cycles. So, how can we ensure flawless logistics in a reasonable time frame? One way is…”

Tip: In a roundtable or discussion, use Touch-Turn-Talk along with eye contact.

Touch / eye contact with the addressee; you say, "Don't start a debate, please stick to the main topic."

Turn/Change eye contact; looking at another interlocutor, you say: "Our topic today is the logistics of product XYZ in the enterprise."

Talk / The second interlocutor becomes the addressee; you say: “I have already pointed out the factors that have had a negative impact on our production cycles. So, how can we ensure flawless logistics in a reasonable time frame? One way is…”

This is the only way to ensure that the first addressee is excluded from the conversation. Eye contact means: Well, does anyone have an objection?! You don't want to go back to an off topic anyway.

The advantages of the "rule of three T" are obvious:

You consistently take the lead in the conversation;

You do not accept deviations from the topic of conversation;

You actively exclude extraneous topics from the conversation and do not go into discussion of the mood of those present;

You are unshakable in your position and strictly adhere to the topic;

You stop squabbling and witticisms about the competence of those present;

All your maneuvers do not go beyond the bounds of politeness and common sense;

You quickly and persistently stop the tactless behavior of the participants;

At the same time, you not only answer questions, but also focus the attention of the audience on clear language;

You answer only those questions that help to continue the discussion, appreciating them accordingly.

Consider: every answer justifies the question asked!

Please observe the following principles:

Formulate positive statements.

Not right:“Mental mood is not the topic of today's meeting!”

Correctly:“Our topic today is logistics, please explain your position on this issue!”

Underline what was said with an unambiguous assessment.

Not right:"In this way, we will reach faster

the intended goal."

Correctly:“Only in this way can we quickly reach the goal of our conversation.”

From the very beginning, stop the transition to extraneous topics and

only then return to the main topic of discussion.

Not right:“Now we are talking about the enterprise as a whole,

not about your particular area."

Correct: “Now this is not about your area

activities, but about the enterprise as a whole.

Formulate your statements briefly and clearly.

Not right:“Well, it so happened that we have repeatedly tried to move on to discussing this topic, of course, under certain circumstances ...”

Correctly:“... to the topic. We all share the opinion that…”

Avoid any comparisons, restrictions, declaring yourself intellectually bankrupt and discovering signs of communicative incompetence.

Not right:“Perhaps it’s time to discuss, although it’s possible - and I approve of this anyway - but here, too, there are contradictions ...”

Correctly:“Let's return to the proposed solutions to the problem. These were…"

In a conversation / discussion, do not use questions, but appeals directly to the audience.

Not right:“Could we return to our main theme, Logistics?

Correctly:“Mr Mayer, please tell us more about your proposal for solving the problem!”

Avoid repetition and negative statements, they reinforce the misconception and lay the foundation for reproaches against you.

Not right:“Bad image? No, our image is not bad at all.”

Correctly:“No, we have a good image in the eyes of the public!”

Typical and Possible Examples of Touch/Ratings

The question was posed in a different context;

This is not the main theme;

This is our main question;

This is not about that now;

This is your personal opinion;

You generalize;

Our clients ask about something else;

This is another aspect;

True False;

This is speculation;

This is what you think;

Because you have used the wrong information;

This is the wrong impression.

In case of negative statements addressed to you, addressed to your company about the image, competence, education or experience, forbid yourself to ask counter questions, because opponents who have mastered the rhetoric usually answer such questions.

An example of an unsuccessful counter-question

Attack: "You have a bad image in the company!" A killer counter-question: "Why did you decide that?"

Possible answer:

l. Every employee speaks badly of you.

2. Nobody expects you to successfully complete this project.

Z. You have just sunk an important project.

If you are interested in developing the topic, I advise you to ask only evaluation questions:

"How did you come to this erroneous opinion?"

Only in this way can you be sure that everything your opponent says will lose in the perception of your assessment by those present.

In general, "Evaluation" and "Return" in responses-objections are often opposed to each other:

Counts:

The stronger the reproach, the more persistent the objection.

This contrast is especially noticeable in contrasts:

"Touch - Evaluation" "Turn - Return"

Speculation Proof

Estimation Fact

Personal impression Confirmation

Evaluation Result

Guess Result

Theory Practice

A few examples well-aimed answers, which, of course, are deliberately formulated positively:

"Have you ever attended rhetoric seminars?"

Incorrect unswer: "Yes!"

Possible reaction of the enemy: “Why then is it imperceptible?”

Correct answer:

Turn and if you analyze my performances, you will definitely come to the conclusion

Talk that I, for example, use the method of five sentences in my statements.

“Why does your company have a bad image?”

Incorrect unswer: “Bad image? How did you come to this

And then your opponent will unfold in full force.

Correct answer:

Touch “You have an erroneous opinion.

Turn In fact, both in the eyes of the public and in the opinion of our customers, the image of the company is impeccable

Talk This year's award for…”

The situation when there are not enough words for an answer often arises among managers due to the assimilation of a certain template for conducting a discussion, which makes them act according to a given scheme:

Leading question - an answer containing puzzlement / irritation / counter-question,

Decisive reproach - forced excuses / lack of response. I have always felt dissatisfied because many of my fellow teachers often teach how right and answer questions in detail, instead of teaching answer the right questions. And this is not easy, since we learn from an early age that we should answer the questions asked and how to do it.

"Don't ask - answer!" - an old rule that will not only not help you in a critical situation, but also plunge you into silence. Again:

(Counter) questions are excluded if there was a negative statement about:

Your competence and/or image;

Your field of activity, company;

Or personality and personal problems.

Answering the questions of critical or unscrupulous interlocutors and accepting their statements means justifying your opponents and experiencing pressure during the discussion

We can remember something fundamentally important: (false) politeness cannot answer all the questions of the interlocutor, self-sufficiency and professionalism, on the contrary, - answer selectively, because every answer justifies the question!

The former chairman of the CDU, G. Geisler, always answered the question of his incompetence with a question, saying the following: “However, first of all, the question arises of what we have achieved, and we are 1…,2…,3…,4…”

It was not easy for the interlocutors to ask him questions on topics of a negative nature, and they could only cross them off their lists

One top manager behaved differently, who, in one of the programs of the RTL channel “Der heijie Stuhl”, tried to answer all questions that were not even within his competence, until he had a heart attack in front of the camera.

It is not necessary to explain which strategy is preferable.

And now for some professional advice based on the "rule of three T" on how to behave in critical situations. We will focus on the Touch/Evaluate and Turn/Return aspects.

Assign critical questions and polemical remarks to the field of theory:

“This is a question from the field of theory, but based on practical experience, I must object that ...”

Forward questions and unsubstantiated defamatory statements to other participants in the conversation:

“A legitimate question, but in the wrong place, ask about it

our leader."

During a roundtable discussion, interpret questions and criticisms differently:

“Your question relates to another point, and not to the one just mentioned! ...”

Consistently replace questions and remarks of critical or dishonest interlocutors with other questions/statements:

“The question concerns only the topic “Strategy”, the correct

the question to those present from the viewpoint of our company sounds like this ... "

Amplify the value of questions or remarks of opponents:

“Your question is not related to the topic, but behind it lies, however, the main question ...”

“An interesting question from an outsider’s point of view, but the question of interest to our shareholders sounds…”.

During negotiations, limit questions and objections by focusing on the topic of conversation:

“This is a secondary aspect. After all, it's about…”

“Your question is not related to the topic of conversation, because we are discussing ...”

Narrow down abstract questions and reproaches to the level of a definition or a simple explanation of a term:

"In order to make your question legitimate, I will ask you to define project management and explain its scope."

“The concept of responsibility can be interpreted in different ways. What responsibility and in what context are you talking about?

Classically: evaluate the questions and polemical statements of the opponent:

“Excuse me, but this is a typical entrepreneurial consultant question, so let’s jump straight into travel and the company!”

“Sorry, but our shareholders do not ask this question. They are asking…"

Specify attacks and general questions for the benefit of the other participants in the discussion:

“Please, for all those present, specify

your question is what is it really about.

Feel free to reveal the dishonest intentions of the critic:

"What is your purpose in asking this defamatory and controversial question?"

Classify the opponent's question or statement in context:

"Dear Mr. Mayer, you are again asking the same

question, just phrase it differently. We only

which were discussed in detail and given an exhaustive answer. Once again, we…”

Counteract critical or polemical questions by clarifying their context but leaving them unanswered:

“Your polemical question again touches only

a small aspect of the overall strategy of our enterprise, so let's return to the discussion of the overall strategy ... "

Emphasize the incompetence of dishonest opponents:

“As a project manager, you should know that the question is purely theoretical…”

Important:

If the answers are still difficult for you, imagine the questions in the form of images; it is better to puzzle over the answer longer than to leave everything halfway. Samples of good answers you should learn in the same way as you learn the grammar of any language.

Read the instructions on page 11-12. Do not allow yourself, because of the seeming redundancy of tasks, to limit your time to exercises; tasks are necessary for systematic training.

An exercise

You are an optician in a small town (50,000 inhabitants). You have three stores, you are known for your extravagant advertising, which helped you gain about 65% of the market. In an open advertising board meeting, during an active discussion, a newcomer who recently took over a run-down optical store tells you the following:

“Your company ArtDesignOptikHaus has a bad image in the city!”

1. Relate critical questions and polemical remarks to the field of theory:

____________________

2. Forward questions and unsubstantiated slanderous statements to other participants in the conversation:

____________________

3. During the round table discussion, interpret questions and criticisms:

____________________

4. Consistently replace questions and comments of critical or dishonest interlocutors with other questions/statements:

____________________

5. Amplify the value of questions or remarks of opponents:

____________________

6. During negotiations, limit questions and objections by focusing on the topic of conversation:

____________________

7. Before answering questions that are abstract in nature, ask for a specific definition of the term that has been spoken:

____________________

8. Classically: evaluate the questions and polemical statements of the opponent:

____________________

9. Specify attacks and general questions for the benefit of the other participants in the discussion:

____________________

10. Feel free to reveal the dishonest intentions of the critic:

____________________

11. Classify the opponent's question or statement in context:

____________________

12. Counteract critical or controversial questions by clarifying their context but leaving them unanswered:

____________________

13. Emphasize the incompetence of dishonest opponents:

____________________

An exercise

You are a project manager and have just successfully completed a sales reorganization project in your enterprise.

During the meeting, one of the clients present makes a casual remark that sales have not improved at all so far and the results of the reorganization are not visible.

He starts a controversy: “This is again such a project when a bunch of people sit at the table and shake the air, and the result is more than modest!”

Respond as shown below!

14. Relate critical questions and polemical remarks to the field of theory:

____________________

15. Forward questions and unsubstantiated statements to other participants in the conversation:

16. During the round table discussion, interpret questions and criticisms.

____________________

17. Consistently replace questions and comments of critical or dishonest interlocutors with other questions/statements:

____________________

18. Strengthen the sign of questions or remarks of opponents:

____________________

19. During negotiations, limit questions and objections by focusing on the topic of conversation:

____________________

20. Narrow abstract questions and reproaches to the level of a definition or a simple explanation of the term:

____________________

21. Classically: evaluate the questions and polemical statements of the opponent;

____________________

22. Specify attacks and general questions for the benefit of the other participants in the discussion:

____________________

23. Feel free to reveal the dishonest intentions of the critic:

____________________

24. Classify the opponent's question or statement in context:

____________________

25. Counter critical or controversial questions by clarifying their context but leaving them unanswered:

____________________

26. Emphasize the incompetence of dishonest opponents:

____________________

An exercise

Remember some critical remark addressed to you,

simulate the situation, write this remark here:

Respond as shown below!

27. Relate critical questions and polemical remarks to the field of theory:

____________________

28. Forward questions and unsubstantiated statements to other participants in the conversation:

____________________

29. Interpret questions and criticisms differently during negotiations:

____________________

30. Consistently replace questions and remarks of critical or dishonest interlocutors with other questions/statements:

____________________

31. Amplify the value of questions or remarks of opponents:

____________________

32. During a round table discussion, limit questions and objections, focus on the topic of conversation:

____________________

33. Narrow abstract questions and reproaches to the level of a definition or a simple explanation of the term:

____________________

34. Classically: evaluate the questions and polemical statements of the opponent:

____________________

35. Specify attacks and general questions for the benefit of the other participants in the discussion:

____________________

36. Feel free to reveal the dishonest intentions of the critic:

____________________

37. Classify the opponent's question or statement in context:

____________________

38. Counter critical or controversial questions by clarifying their context but leaving them unanswered:

____________________

39. Emphasize the incompetence of dishonest opponents:

____________________

Perhaps, based on your own experience of conducting discussions, you are familiar with the situation when the interlocutor evades the question posed and, in answering others, persistently deviates from the main topic.

In order not to leave this topic unattended for the benefit of the reader and, of course, my own, I offer a few professional tips:

Decisively interrupt the interlocutor who is discussing and deviated from the topic, repeat your question: “Sorry, you deviated from the topic: my question was like this ...”

Openly express your opinion to the interlocutor about what he says: "Please answer my question without "if" and "but"! "I'm sorry, but that's not a satisfactory explanation."

And one more important tip!

In case of false statements, immediately interrupt the opponent (restraint is inappropriate here), clearly express your protest and disagreement, use gestures; boldly bring the interlocutor to clean water! Avoid stereotypical nods! When you nod, you want to show the interlocutor that you know what he is getting at, which, in turn, signals to him that he is right in his statement. Such behavior is unproductive.

To thoroughly to train the reaction, it is important to do the exercises without having a context. By responding correctly, you will emphasize your competence, professionalism or your know-how.

Don't forget the rules above and also the "rule of three T's".

Important:

If the answers are difficult, then imagine them in the form of images; it is better to puzzle over the answer longer than to leave everything halfway. Samples of good answers you should learn in the same way as you learn the grammar of any language.

I advise you to write down the page number or exercise (the book uses through numbering). Also, keep track of the time it took to complete the exercise, this will add an element of competition!

Read the instructions on page 13-14 again.

Question example:

“Can you give a competent presentation at least once…?”

Responsiveness!

touch: Of course, that's exactly what I do.

turn: I have just explained the state of things and stated,

Talk: that we found a solution to the problem in…

Exercises

40. “So you can obviously confess…”

41. “After the discussion, even you yourself admit the mistake ...”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

42. "How do you explain your bad image at the enterprise?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

43. “Dear colleague, you don’t seriously think that…”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

44. "Man Mayer, are you looking for a scapegoat again?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

45. “What you are doing there is reminiscent of a neurotic state!”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

46. ​​"How did you come up with this one-sided, incompetent and ill-conceived assessment?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

47. “You understand what I mean - are you listening to me at all? Or will you say again that you didn’t understand anything?

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

48. “I have already explained to you many times in detail that…”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

49. “Sorry, but you have no idea about project management!”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

50. “Well, eternal smart guy, you won’t explain yourself again ...”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

51. “It is quite clear that you again and again allow

fatal miscalculation…”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

52. “If you ever honestly admitted…”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

53. “You, as an intellectual in some way, should know

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

54. “Congratulations, you’ve been walking around for five minutes already

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

55. "This is real nonsense ..."

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

56. “This is a very complicated theory, however” in this you are like

times strong!"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

57. “Is your delusion accidental or is it a conscious you

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

58. “This is typical for you: close your eyes and go ahead!”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

59. “Dear colleague, are you really that naive or is it

your ploy?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

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60. “My compliments, but please explain how you can so stubbornly ignore the real state of things?”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

61. "Sorry, but what you say is pure madness!"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

62. "Will it help if I speak more slowly?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

63. "Should I explain again or are you just slow to grasp?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

64. “Do you hear yourself or is it too difficult for you?”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

65. "Are you always so polemical and destructive in public speaking?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

66. "Are you serious about slipping this on us under the guise of a persuasive strategy?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

67. "You think we're all in the circus here, right?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

68. "Should we take into account your mediocre intelligence?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

69. “And one certified expert, speaking much shorter, gave a completely different conclusion ...”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

70. "Ah, you think you can flatten a goose's paw so that you, with your wonderful marketing, sell it as a duck?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

71. “In general, from the so-called expert, I expected something else ...”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

72. “Are you also haunted by such confusing ideas in your personal life?”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

73. "Oh, how gullible some people are..."

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

74. “And you want to convince us of this?!”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

75. "Ah, and we really have to believe it?!"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

76. "And how will this advance the matter?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

77. “Now don’t be so receptive and don’t

look like it hurt you personally!”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

78. "Tell me, are the freckles on your face the only point of view you want to convey in your report?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

79. "The headline in your official letter seems to be the only thing that has anything to do with the word" head "?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

80. "Can't you even offer a solution?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

81. “You do have a solution, but do you have another one that would fit the designated problem?”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

82. “My compliments, this unsuccessful attempt you do not

couldn't do it!"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

83. “If there were no fools like you, then

the smart ones on our team would have no chance of success!”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

84. “Based on your talk, does the concept of a team mean to you, ‘Let others do it’?”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

85. “And often do you put spokes in your own wheels?”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

86. "Why are you forcing me to rack my brains over this?"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

87. “Well, colleagues, everything is clear: there are no deviationists in the struggle between the sexes, our colleague has just convincingly proved this!”

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

88. "You should listen to yourself!"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

89. "Personally, I don't care!"

Touch/Rating:____________________

Turn/Return:____________________

Talk/Deepening:____________________

Let's imagine a situation: despite all your attempts to return the conversation to a business channel, a conflict is brewing, your interlocutor continues to argue, uses killer phrases, involved an emotional factor in the discussion, makes personal remarks and / or complicates the situation by discussing problems that are not directly related to main topic.

In this case, fundamentally refuse to take reproaches and statements personally. The following reaction is more appropriate here, let's call it reaction N 2.

How to save yourself from pressure in a dispute, how to respond correctly to lies and reproaches at a new level of emotional stress?

Standard response (verbal and non-verbal):

You lean back in your chair;

Smile to the interlocutor;

You ask him: “What does this mean ?!”

Usually, in response to this, excuses or explanations follow, in 90% of cases the interlocutor returns the conversation to a business channel.

This is how your opponent behaves:

Leading question - an answer that feels puzzled / irritated / counter-questioned,

Decisive reproach - forced excuses / silence.

Gain:"What does it mean? Stop arguing, you don't need this controversy at all.

Even stronger:"What does it mean? You don't need it. You make a laughing stock of yourself / I would be ashamed if I were you.”

So let's take a few of the examples already discussed. It is no longer about elegantly parrying questions, but about showing the opponent a “yellow card”, which means: you can’t do this!

Exercises

90. “Based on your presentation, the concept of a team means to you: “Let others do it.” "What does it mean?…"

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91. “And often do you put spokes in your own wheels?” "What does it mean?…"

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92. “Why are you forcing me to rack my brains over this?” "What does it mean?…"

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93. “Well, colleagues, everything is clear: there are no deviationists in the struggle between the sexes, our colleague has just convincingly proved this!” "What does it mean?…"

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94. "You should listen to yourself!" "What does it mean?…"

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95. "Personally, I don't care!" "What does it mean?…"

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In the future, we will proceed from a tense situation when the dispute reaches its heat. You need to stop the confrontation or further conversation will not make sense. Stop the confrontation, and be sure to do it on your own terms.

For this case, reaction No. 3 is suitable, which consists in transition to the controlling conversation meta-level. It represents a higher level of discussion, getting into which you leave the subject and emotional levels. Now the main topic of conversation is your interlocutor and his behavior. Consistently establish for yourself feedback on the behavior and personality of the interlocutor, comprehend the course of the conversation.

The traditional feedback scheme consists of the following elements: What do I see and hear? - How does it affect me? What do I want? This scheme is built on questions to oneself (I) and is quite harmless. My advice: forget about her!

The interlocutor, configured for criticism and confrontation, can stop questions to himself (“These are your problems”); in addition, it will emphasize the negative points, so this strategy is unproductive

The new feedback scheme according to Bredemeyer is focused on the interlocutor and has all the signs of a conflict. It is clear to everyone that it is not easy to decide on a direct confrontation, but under certain conditions it is necessary:

Instead of addressing yourself, you address the interlocutor (You): instead of addressing yourself, you address the interlocutor (You),

The old pattern "I'm ok, you're ok, the situation is ok" is no longer relevant;

What your interlocutor says and how he behaves does not suit you. So tell him about it.

Despite attempts to stop the escalation of the conflict, your interlocutor does not leave his provocative and destructive demeanor, he still has not concentrated on the main topic. Then it's time to set a clear boundary.

“Your statements are taken from the air and do not correspond to reality, you are opposed to our proposal to solve the problem.

Therefore, your behavior is unconstructive and clearly aimed at disrupting negotiations.

I ask you to stay within the main topic of discussion "otherwise I will stop negotiations"

Doubt? Then put it in the plural (We)

“Unfortunately, we are entangled in mutual reproaches and accusations.

So we'll never reach the goal of the conversation

Let's not deviate from the topic."

In this case, we have a chance to stop the confrontation" if the opponent is really interested in the productivity of the conversation.

Bredemeyer feedback is even more effective in a situation where negative topics are not discussed, and the opponent should set up a positive conversation. This is a completely new approach, so please remember:

There is no golden rule of communication that fits every situation!

Therefore, my Bredemeyer feedback scheme can be changed or supplemented at any time depending on the personality of the opponent, the course and purpose of the conversation.

A positive change creates a favorable impression, which, in turn, influences all participants in the discussion and the course of the conversation.

An example of positive feedback according to Bredemeyer

“Please, in the interests of making a constructive decision, do not deviate from the main topic and keep a businesslike tone.

Only in this way will we have time to find a solution acceptable to both parties in the allotted time!”

This scheme can also be used in “normal” situations far from conflict. Since in this case it is mainly not about resolving the conflict, but about helping the interlocutors focus on the topic: you determine the further course of the conversation using the Bredemeyer feedback scheme.

1. “Mr. Mayer, do not forget about the liberated

posture during the presentation, use the technique of changing the supporting leg.

This will increase the effectiveness of the impact of your words on the audience.

2. Mr. Müller, after repeating the main idea

pause.

By doing so, you will emphasize the main idea and help to fix it in the minds of the listeners.

If you find it difficult to formulate a statement in this way or, in your opinion, it sounds too harsh, you can modify and adapt the old feedback scheme to the new system.

Modified examples (see above)

"Mr. Mayer, ask yourself if a calm posture and the technique of changing the supporting leg increases the effectiveness of the impact of your presentation on the audience."

“Mr. Müller, could you, for example, pause after repeating the main idea? The result will not keep you waiting: you will emphasize the main idea and help it to gain a foothold in the minds of the listeners.

Exercises

Please think of or think of three situations where you use Bredemeyer feedback to thwart confrontation.

96. Situation 1 (description);

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97. Situation 2 (description):

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Your feedback on Bredemeyer:

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98. Situation 3 (description):

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Your feedback on Bredemeyer:

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There are situations that clearly go too far, in which case you must immediately and very professionally draw a line between yourself and the interlocutor.

Patterns of constructive responses, samples of resourcefulness, are designed to prevent conflict, and they can also be used to improve the atmosphere in which the discussion takes place.

To do this, use the described models of cascade technology:

Rule of three T;

Emotional yellow card;

Transition to the mega level with the help of Bredemeyer feedback.

Wordplay

Suppression of the initiative of the interlocutor

“Your report is really well prepared and useful meaning, my compliments, it must have taken you a long time?"

“It would be mores, your comment, in turn, pour outshen".

Tempting invitation

"Hey, isn't it time to free the grill for kids?"

instead of: "Finally free the grill to cook sausages for kids!"

Well, who in such a situation can resist displaying wit in response?

Expected rebuff

"You can't keep your word, Chancellor Kohl!

“On the contrary, I can even hold a speech!” (Former Chancellor G. Kohl).

"Yes, I can't persuade?"

"No, but you had a chance to me convince. But you missed him!

We are all familiar with such methods of resourceful discussion through flippant puns. Sometimes, when we're really on a roll, they just come pouring out. And sometimes they fly off our tongue against our will. Namely; with annoying slips of the tongue, the so-called Freudian slips. The play on words is different, it can be achieved:

replacement words that sound similar

replacing part of a word e.g. first letter or word order;

Through verbal and figurative associations;

Via intentionally misspelled or distorted interpretation semantic load of the word through substitutions parts of a sentence or words;

By using speech "pearls" or ambiguities;

Via changed word order in the context;

Via "confusion" of words, similar in sound but different in meaning;

Finally, with the help change or distortion of meaning by skipping letters or whole words;

By using Freudian slips, which, in fact, are not just reservations.

A play on words, or a pun, is a hook on which we string thoughts and statements, "a weapon that inflicts wounds that may never heal" (Klaus Bölling) or they simply testify to the lightness of style.

In the entertainment industry, word play is truly the strongest drug of the deified "communication of all with all."

The purpose of using the pun technique is to consciously - focusing on a certain contingent of listeners! - come up with such statements, which we call witty and resourceful answers, through which you can demonstrate your wit in front of the public / listener.

In a one-to-one conversation, we inhabitants of the northern regions of Germany call it "banter" when one of the two interlocutors makes the other a "victim".

The play on words is "chess for the mind" - it requires imaginative thinking, juggling with linguistic and figurative associations that spread their magical charm on us, attract like a magnet.

At the same time, we are not used to them, in everyday life we ​​use the so-called Restricted Code 1, the essence of which is a serious argument. And the puns use Elaborated Code 2, a flamboyant style.

Think about it; we are talking about a play on words, witty and caustic remarks, which, as they say in advertising, have a high entertainment value. Puns can become a fire of inquisition for opponents in business conversations and emotional mines for a serious interlocutor. Thus, puns are used to counter serious arguments, since the play on words is intended not to “turn off” the opponent, but to influence the subject level of the dispute, and, it must be confessed, not without pleasure for one of the parties.

“You don’t understand a damn thing about this, Mr. Muller”

“In any case, I emphasize that with regard to our project, then a train already set off, you want to jump on this outgoing train!” 3

In this example, we are talking about the perception of the statement and its transformation into images: the station - a moving train - jump on the bandwagon of a departing train.

"I can't understand it!"

"Sorry, but I could help you if you didn't heard. If you do not understand, this is, unfortunately, your problem.

1 Restricted Code lingu.- limited code. - Note. per.

2 Elaborated Code lingu.- extended code. - Note. lane

3 The play on words is based on the fact that the phrase “You don’t understand a damn thing about this, Mr. Müller” sounds in the original; "Sie verstehen wohl nur Bahnhof, Herr Mueller?"; moreover, the word Bahnhof in the usual context means "station". - Note. per.

Here similar words are used in different meanings, and the necessary interpretation was omitted, instead the statement was deliberately taken literally.

"Miss Mayer, at least you once washed your car!»

"Naturally, whose same car I still have to wash ... but more than once - it makes no sense.

This example contains word substitution and verbatim perception.

"I will only become older!»

“That's right, it's a natural process, but in any case, you look the old way and not older!”

A word has been added here that changes the meaning.

This technique also works in advertising: the well-known proverb “Who is smarter must give in” was paraphrased to advertise Dr. Best-Zahnburste into the promotionally effective and easy-to-remember phrase "A smarter toothbrush must give way!"

Let's dot all the i's: be careful with puns.

General laughter stimulates the establishment of contact.

General laughter requires contact.

Think about it.

Wordplay using associations

By analogy with the favorite transfer of Americans called Dallas, presenter Carl Dell came up with the name Dall-As! for your transmission. Language associations are also willingly used by advertising.

An exercise

99. Please now come up with five examples of your own:

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Wordplay using figurative contrasts

"Do you imagine yourself rock during the surf?»

“No, during a confrontation you are more likely to reed in the wind or, unlike his boss, a pound of butter in the sun!»

"Do you think you represent your point of view?»

"No, it's actually declaring oneself intellectually bankrupt!»

An exercise

100. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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Word play with associative chains of words

"You come from Saxony-Anhalt?"

“But you hitchhiked here, didn’t you?”

"Why do you think so?"

"You look so tired!" one

Thus, we are talking here about an associative chain of words

Sachsen-Anhalt - per Anhalter - mitgenommen. Of course, this is far from the limit:

“Ah, you must have been rolled there?” 2

"Would you mind asking a question? Not? Then shout!”

An exercise

101. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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Play on words using proper names

Social Democrat Herbert Wehner, known for his quick wit in debate and sharp tongue, called TV presenter Dieter Lueg "Herrn Lug" and Christian Democrat Todenhofer "Hodentoter". 4

1 The play on words is based on the fact that the name of the federal state of Saxony - Anhalt (Sachsen - Anhalt) is consonant with the expression per Anhalter - to hitchhike, and the adjective milgenommen- "tired" also has the meaning "to take with you". - Note. per.

2 In the original: abgefahren- departed (train), rolled (snow, etc.). - Note. lane,

3 The surname Lueg is similar in sound to the German word Che Luge, which means "lie". - Note. lane

4 Hoden "toter is a compound word, der Hoden is an anat. (seed) testicle, der Toter is a killer. - Note. per.

“You, Herr Vogel, are becoming more and more like a comedian with your proposals!” one

"Mr. Geisler, you are the eighth scourge of mankind!" 2

An exercise

102. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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Wordplay using figurative associations

“Our employees are always the center of attention!”

"... and therefore everyone on the road."

"Unfortunately, you are the same in terms of drinking as Krupp is in Essen." 3

An exercise

103. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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1 Comedian, joker in German - der Spa|3vogel. - Note. per.

2 The surname Geisler (Geiber) is consonant with the word dieGeibel - scourge. - Note. per.

3 Playing on the homonymy of the words das Essen - food and Essen - Essen, the city

the Prussian Rhine Province, the district of Düsseldorf; center of metallurgical

and engineering industry. Here are coal mines

mines, steel mills Krupp. - Note. per.

Play on words by transferring meaning

"You are not subject dismissal? No wonder, because your mental abilities have retired early!»

"You think, you are the man of your life! Against, you are a trauma for life!»

An exercise

104. Please.” Now come up with three examples of your own:

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Play on words using substitution

"It's impossible implement!»

“Not at all, it’s just that such a rate of change only seems incredible to you!”

"It's not for me inside!»

"So engage head!»

An exercise

105. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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Word play by replacing / substituting additional sounds into a word

"I never got you charm?»

"No, but your intentions have me several times disappointed».

"Euro? It's better to say "expensive"! one

An exercise

106. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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Play on words by replacing parts of a word

"I'm here as an expert on collapses and accidents!

“No, judging by the results, as a specialist in failures!»

“You are driven only by ambition, moreover boundless!»

“On the contrary, an interest in the prosperity of the company, moreover unprecedented!»

An exercise

107. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

1 In German: “Euro? Nein, Teuro!" teuer - expensive, expensive. - Approx. per.

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Play on words using the interpretation method

"You act like an ax in the woods!"

"That's the only way I'll be able to knock down a real German oak tree like you!"

Looking at a dripped tie: "I had an amazing selection of food for lunch!"

"It's a pity you didn't get many of them directly into your mouth!"

An exercise

108. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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A play on words based on the unexpected ending of a phrase

“And so I prophesy to you…”

An exclamation from the seat: "... that this idea will fail!"

"Who is especially vulnerable ..."

An exclamation from the place: “that one is always full of iodine!”

Or: “He is especially circumspect!”

An exercise

109. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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Paraphrasing play on words

“Here in the negotiations, we lack the required determination!»

"But you bring strong demands!»

"We have to right get down to business!"

"It would be better to take just cause!»

An exercise

110. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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A play on words based on a deliberate misunderstanding

"Everything went to waste!"

“Dust is not my competence, go to the cemetery!”

“This will be joy!”

“No, unfortunately, just one unpleasant surprise!”

An exercise

111. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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Word play using language images

“We’re not going down to the war of the sexes now, are we?”

“Why are there no deviators here!”

“Anyway, he said so, there are 700 people under him!”

"That's right, but only on Sundays when he walks around the cemetery!"

An exercise

112. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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Wordplay through paraphrasing (foreign) quotations

“Life will punish the latecomer!”

“No, in retail they say: “The director will punish the late one!”

"Timeo danaos et dona ferentes!" (Fear the Danes who bring gifts) paraphrased

Timeo Journahstes et dona ferentes! (Fear journalists who bring gifts)

An exercise

113. Please now come up with three examples of your own:

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You can strengthen the impression of yourself as a witty, resourceful interlocutor if, along with a play on words, you deliberately use ambiguities. Strictly speaking, such statements with a double meaning should be understood literally, but the play on words brings here another, figurative meaning.

An exercise

114. Please complete the sentences. Answer options are given on page 163.

Typical for a cyclist:____________________

He is just _____________

Freckles____________________

Employees in her firm are not the goal of ____________________

In the war of the sexes so far ____________________

A colleague told you something ____________________

Famous radio host ____________________

Finance Minister Yeichel is on his way ____________________

In the community, the priest tends ____________________

The painter currently has ____________________

The woodcutter gave ____________________

Sad, but true: the watchmaker ____________________

The actor is leaving ____________________

To climb higher, some ____________________

An exercise

115. Now come up with your own ten examples:

The purpose of the exercise is to replenish the active vocabulary. Perhaps at first you will come across the fact that it is not so easy for you, but after a while, doing such exercises will become a way for you to have a good time.

The mechanic's wheel fell off!

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An exercise

116. Demonstrate your resourcefulness through the use of ambiguities

“You don’t get a damn thing about this, do you?” one

Possible answers

“In your case, the barrier is down!” 2

“You can refrain from faux pas, it’s enough that my ideas will make your eyebrows crawl up!” 3

"First you must throw in some more coal!" 4

“You are like a train of the federal railway, you come with your proposals out of time, and as usual, late!”

Give three more examples!

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An exercise

117. Come up with associations on the topic "Airfield",

"He did well"

"It was an emergency landing"

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1 Original: “Sie verstehen wohl nur Bahnhof?”; moreover, the word der Bahnhof in the usual context means "station". - Note. lane.

2 The word die Schranke means both “barrier”, and “border”, “limit”, “framework (behavior)” - Note lane.

3 The word die Enigleisung is translated as "tactlessness" and as "derailment" - Prim lane.

4 The word "coal" - die Kohle has an additional meaning in the plural and in colloquial language replaces the word "money" - Note lane.

An exercise

118. Think of associations to the topic "Hunting",

“He got a big game…”

"He makes himself out to be the leader of the pack"

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In this section, statements are presented to your attention that can easily be parried with the help of a play on words. When answering, use in random order the various types of puns discussed above.

The exercises in this section will help you learn patterns of small responses that are suitable for repelling the same type of verbal attacks. So veer off the path of rational responses, instead making light, playful, and well-aimed remarks.

Common or playful response patterns, samples of resourcefulness are provided as examples so that you can develop your own "pattern"

This exercise will help you develop a sense of humor in a specific situation, as well as demonstrate your resourcefulness through a play on words.

All attacks and low blows are used here without any context, so you just hone your accuracy!

Important note

If the answers are still difficult for you, imagine the questions in the form of images; it's better to spend more time thinking about an answer than to give up halfway through. Samples of good answers you should learn in the same way as you learn the grammar of any language. Please write down your answers in a separate notebook or notebook, or copy the task from the book, then after a while you can do it again!

An exercise

119. Show your resourcefulness!

Answer options can be found on pages 163-164.

a) New wave business professionals: young, dynamic and…

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b) "You are always in the forefront of those who move forward!"

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c) “You are acting like a puppet in the hands of the government!”

"Right,____________________

d) “Your mood is like a bottle of milk that has stood for too long, namely ...”

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f) “For me, the idea is damp!”

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g) Remark during your presentation: “There are still questions that remain open…”

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h) “Do you even know what the “information autobahn” is?”

"Yes,____________________

and I do not understand!"

"Yes,____________________

j) “You wear contact lenses!”

"Right,____________________

"Understandably,____________________

"Right,____________________

j) “You are getting a high salary, now is the time…”

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k) "My compliments, Mr. Mayer, you have done your homework!"

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Or____________________

m) "You tire me!"

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m) “No one deserved such a departure (from the company)!”

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o) “We are all in the same boat…”

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o) “Many women would gladly agree to spend the night with me!”

"Yes,____________________

or: “Yes, of course, ____________________

or:____________________

p) "You almost look like a man in your pantsuit, Mrs. Mayer!"

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c) “We don’t need to reinvent the wheel every time!”

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Of course, there are many opportunities to use resourcefulness in response. You will find the possible options in the appendix.

"Stupid!" - "I sympathize!"

"Coward!" - "Very nice, Bredemeyer, Carsten Bredemeyer!"

"How can you be so dumb?!" - “You yourself must find out, although you have already successfully passed the first stage of self-knowledge!”

"Moron!" “It’s great that you showed everyone your true nature at least once!”

This simple situational technique of resourceful discussion is based on the fact that you can "pick up" the interlocutor's line because you listened carefully. Often verbal attacks are not specific, which provides more opportunities for counteraction. The opponent forgets, as we say in northern Germany, "tie up the sack." Now is the time to strike back - boomerang.

Using this technique is very simple, because a provocative remark or verbal attack against you due to fuzzy addressing is easy to “turn” in a different way. It is especially recommended to use this technique if you want to defeat an agitated interlocutor with his own weapon.

Send the opponent's remark back like a boomerang, just like a package with only a return address is returned to the sender.

Boomerang makes the attacker a victim!

The following exercises will help you improve your boomerang technique. Of course, there are many relevant (“correct”) answers to each remark. The book provides one answer for each cue, which you can focus on. I encourage you to come up with an appropriate answer for each example. Please use sample examples to hone your skills.

Redirect your opponent's statement to him:

"Stupid!" - "Yes, your assessment of your personality true!"

An exercise

120. Please come up with two examples of your own:

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In this situation, you "do not understand" to whom the statement is addressed, and "pass" it on. This will force the opponent to explain and justify!

"Stupid!" - "I'm sorry that you judge Mr. Muller so unfairly..."

An exercise

121. Please come up with two examples of your own:

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Boomerang - agreement

In this case, you call the interlocutor the addressee and agree with him.

"Stupid!" - "Yes, you are what you are. I already mentioned it to myself!”

An exercise

122. Please come up with two examples of your own.

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In this situation, you draw a line between yourself and the negative statement of the interlocutor. It is best to add some positive remark to this.

"Stupid!" - "In unlike you, I'm not stupid. I am a professional in this field."

An exercise

123. Please come up with two examples of your own:

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A great opportunity to portray an amateur doctor.

"Stupid!" - “Well, have you already set foot on the path of self-knowledge, will you continue on your own or do you need our medical advice?”

An exercise

124. Please come up with two examples of your own:

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Here you express your opinion, clearly addressing it to the interlocutor, and clothe your statement in the form of a counter question

"Stupid!" - "Is this a loud cry of your helplessness?"

An exercise

125. Please come up with two examples of your own:

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Consolidation of the passed

Now close your eyes and tell in your own words about the six techniques of the boomerang technique.

Imagine one or two situations in which you can use one of the techniques.

This exercise will help you fix this technique in your subconscious.

Well, did you succeed? Please repeat the six boomerang techniques!

Reception 1:____________________

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Reception 2:____________________

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Reception 3:____________________

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Reception 4: ____________________

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Reception 5: ____________________

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Reception 6:____________________

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“Do you have an inflatable seahorse or do you only jump from a tower with a circle!? Try a baby mattress."

“I have a seahorse, and I myself am almost like a sea lion, if you like!”

"If you were my husband, I would give you poison!"

"If you were my wife, I would accept him!"

“... you are completely drunk!”

"That's right, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you will remain ugly!" (Lady Ashley, Sir Winston Churchill - exchange of low blows.)

The idle technique is used when you have neither the need nor the desire to apologize in response to reproaches and attacks. And your inner voice says: “You can’t leave it like that!”

As before, it is necessary, based on the situation, to figure out how seriously you were hurt that someone “stepped on your foot”

or, perhaps, you have been so boiled up in vain, which, of course, in the situations described would be bad.

A simple but effective technique is to, leaving the obvious excuses, rush to the attack yourself. Thus, you enter into an open dispute, but this "going on the attack" at the same time means that you accepted and agreed with the reproaches addressed to you.

However, be careful: the advantage of the idle technique is that, mainly due to the situation, you can respond to the questions in agreement or denial, but at the same time you refuse "self-defense" or an apology and do not deny the reproach addressed to you.

The disadvantage is obvious. You stimulate further "exchange of pleasantries", the development of the conflict on the rise. Of course, this can be easily avoided, for example, if you take a couple of steps back, turn away and break direct eye contact.

You accept the reproach of the interlocutor, immediately pushing your own in response.

“If I were your husband, I would have hanged myself long ago!”

“No problem, I myself would give you a rope to finally get rid of you!”

“You have the art of remembering jokes and forgetting where they actually came from!”

“Of course, this is called a successful conversation!”

Here you apply learned clichés and patterns from the previous section.

"You're just a giant ass!"

“You’re mispronouncing, you should be:“ You are just a giant, says the ass! ”

“You, a conservative, you are just a brake on everything new, a sign of a pause in the music of history!”

"Yes, I place signs in history, that's right."

In this situation, you strike by agreeing with the reproach.

"To be your wife, this is a disastrous business!"

“I agree, then a civil marriage will suit both of us!”

"Why don't you accept praise?"

“You are mistaken, I am waiting for it to be repeated, and then I will enjoy it doubly!”

You shift the emphasis in the statement or complete it.

"Typically feminine!"

“Subtly noticed, and by whom - a man!”

“Ha ha ha, here it is, female logic!”

"That's exactly what logic is!"

Exercises for practicing boomerang and idle moves

In this section, you are presented with statements that can be easily parried using prepared answers from the above examples. When answering, use in random order various types of boomerang and idling techniques.

The exercises in this section will help you better memorize well-aimed responses to repel similar verbal attacks. So veer off the path of rational responses, instead making light, playful, and well-aimed remarks. You should not think: “What is it, a boomerang or an idle move?” Valeno "to hit the serve", as they say in tennis.

Common or playful quick response patterns are provided as illustrative examples so that you can develop your own "pattern".

This exercise will help you practice your sense of humor in a given situation, as well as demonstrate your resourcefulness.

All attacks and low blows are given here without any context. Just hone the accuracy of your strike!

And remember.

If the answers are difficult for you, simulate the development of the situation.

It's better to spend a little more time thinking about the answer than to give up halfway through. Samples of good answers you should learn in the same way as you learn the grammar of any language. Please write down your answers in a separate notebook or notebook, or copy the task from the book, then after a while you can do it again!

I advise you to record the time it took you to complete the exercise, this will introduce an element of competition!

Alternative:

If you want to understand the subject at the beginning and do only a few individual exercises without going too deep into the topic, then this is certainly possible. But in this case, decide if it would be more useful to first review the answers, and then proceed to complete the assignments.

126. Please give two answers for each statement.

Possible answers can be found in the appendix.

on page 165.

a) “This is higher mathematics! You will never understand it!”

Your answers:

____________________

____________________

b) Reproach: "I accept this only on the condition that I keep my own opinion on this matter."

Your answers:

____________________

____________________

c) Reproach: “You are in the minority!”

Your answers:

____________________

____________________

d) Reproach: “In this case, you are at great risk!”

Your answers:

____________________

____________________

e) Reproach: “You managed to get out again thanks to your resourcefulness!”

____________________

____________________

In my book "Nie wieder sprachlos" I already mentioned that the word Gluck 1 was formed from the old German word "ge-luske". It used to be called a pot, for which a lid was specially made. Let's use this metaphor to talk about resourcefulness.

1 das Gluck - happiness. - Note. lane.

Techniques and methods of resourceful discussions are used where, from your point of view, it is necessary, as quickly as possible, to “cover with a suitable cover” an unpleasant conversation, verbal aggression, inappropriate “exchange of pleasantries” and, thus, imperceptibly stop the skirmish.

The "verbal cover" technique is practiced in a variety of ways that interrupt an unnecessary argument and do not necessarily contribute to the resumption of the conversation.

First of all, this technique is recommended to be used when responding to "stupid" questions that the interlocutor asks, thereby asking for all your eloquence at once! Stupid questions are questions that your opponent most likely knows the answer to but asks anyway. And because of this, he begins to give in to the argument and drives himself into a dead end.

So forget that "there are no stupid questions, there are only stupid answers." There are a lot of stupid questions...and similar answers too!

“So you take me for a fool?!” Answer: "Well..."

"So you think I'm incompetent?!" Answer: "Nnnda, that's right!"

"Baby, don't you better put on a jacket?" The answer of a seven-year-old girl: “No!”

Why is this a very, very stupid question in terms of resourceful debating technique? Because the interlocutor who asked such a stupid (sorry!) question already had the impression of a conversation, but he still asks it, although the answer to it can be predicted with high accuracy. This is exactly the answer that he does not want to hear, but still "runs up."

All counter questions (as in the examples above) are stupid, because they prevent you from declaring your own position and completely inopportunely play into the hands of your opponent. Stupid questions include, for example, also counter questions" asked after:

…Academy of Dating (Soblaznenie.Ru) is a practical training of dating and seduction in real conditions - from the first sight to a harmonious relationship. This is a special equipment for raising confidence, coaching and correction in hot mode. This is an individual approach and work to a positive result ...

Negative statements about personality;

Demonstrative negative statements about the company;

Negative statements about your competence.

“You are not at all suitable for this job!”

“How did you come to such an unexpected point of view?”

"Your seemingly successful enterprise has a persistently bad image."

“How did you come to such an unexpected opinion?”

"You don't come across as someone who can handle a task like this."

“Why are you saying this? What are your reasons?"

Such a reaction will plunge you into helplessness, because an inept counter-question inevitably provokes a deadly volley of eloquence from the interlocutor, who gets the opportunity to once again emphasize his point of view. Do you want to hear it?

If the answer in the first example sounds something like this: “Firstly, you yourself do not get tired of proving this all the time, secondly, our aimless and pointless conversation is proof enough in itself, and thirdly, your stupid question is still times emphasizes! - then, of course, the desire to indulge in explanations will be especially great. And the resulting need to justify oneself will grow to cosmic proportions...

In short, the speaker has already provoked his interlocutor to "express eloquence." It is better to stop it after the first words. Then your opponent will face the question of whether to allow the conflict to escalate or not. Usually the question is decided in favor of the latter. Therefore, in such a situation, a lot speaks for the use of "verbal covers".

"I do not understand anything!" - "It's OK!"

“I am gradually losing my mind! ...” - “Yes, and with every right to be!”

"You take me for a fool!" - "Exactly".

“My patience may burst!” - “This is your problem!”

With a bit of sass, this technique is the easiest way to parry low blows. But remember, although this is a method of resourceful discussion, it is absolutely unconstructive.

To respond to most attacks, witticisms and blows below the belt, there is a catalog of "evil verbal covers" that will help cool the ardor of your interlocutor. They are a kind of "punishment" or "reprimand" for him. On the other hand, their disadvantage lies in the fact that they are neither meaningful nor emotionally related directly to the reproach. At best, such verbal covers are clearly dosed insults that prevent stupid questions from appearing in the conversation.

Verbal lids fit any utterance like a lid fits your pot!

Some examples:

“This statement disqualifies you as an interlocutor!”

“If you could hear yourself now, you would be ashamed!”

“Do you still have gaps in perception?”

"I thought you were above that kind of kindergarten gossip, sorry you're not!"

"You make a painful impression!"

"Dude, that's just stupid."

“Why don’t you consult a doctor about this verbal masturbation of yours?!”

"Your resourcefulness is dangerous because it is nothing but a psychopathic form of verbal dementia!"

"You were and remain synonymous with personal incapacity!"

“This, my dear, is the declaration of bankruptcy that you have just made!”

“Ah, it’s clear to me: you are digging your own grave with such statements!”

“... this is the result when ordinary mutual understanding ordered a long life!”

"You can even refute a school-leaving certificate!"

"Stupidity is the last argument of mental inferiority!"

“You are now declaring yourself mentally incompetent, do it in writing!”

“Your last remark is a white flag. Are you capitulating?!"

“Your words are both arson and a cry for help!”

“You are like a blotter: you absorb everything into yourself and give it out topsy-turvy!”

“Very well, I noticed you!”

An exercise

127. Please complete this catalog with your examples:

____________________

____________________

____________________

____________________

Unfortunately, we usually limit the use of resourceful devices to the verbal realm. At the same time, we forget about other areas of communication, non-verbal and paraverbal signals.

Non-verbal communication signals include gestures and facial expressions, paraverbal signals are known to us as sounds that accompany the speech process. Both devices serve as a vivid expression of seething emotions or direct in a certain direction the calculating coldness, better known as rationalism.

Non-verbal and paraverbal cues instead of verbal means, they help you place the right accents.

Usually, we react to forbidden blows and attacks of the interlocutor with the most sophisticated phrases, deliberate remarks, and professional objections. We do all this on a verbal level.

These methods are not the same. Here you act on a different level of communication, more expanded and - just different. Namely:

With the help of "social noises" (noise in the hall, exclamations of approval, etc.);

Using gestures, facial expressions or paraverbal and non-verbal signals in combination with words.

For example:

The behavior of a child stretching out a hand folded in the form of a pistol in the direction of another and exclaiming: “Bang-bang!”

The football coach who shakes his head in annoyance at the referee's decision;

A gesture called the "Effenberg finger", the extended middle finger symbolizes: you can go to hell! (The gesture got its name when the German national team player Effenber reacted to a question during a discussion in this way.);

The naked back of a professional football player exposed to the public;

“protruding tongue”, allegedly a symbol of Albert Einstein, who showed by this how much he is above all circumstances.

This works: gestures or facial expressions and the sounds accompanying the speech process - together or separately, with or without commentary, are known to us in many ways, we experienced it from our own experience and observed it from the outside, for example:

Intense gesticulation in southern countries;

Annoying shaking of the head, appropriate facial expressions, eyes directed to the sky (God, how uncomfortable!);

A sardonic smirk (so you should!);

Raised frowning eyebrows (carefully - this is not allowed!);

Protruding tongue (yeah, gotcha!);

Wrinkled nose, as if in a fit of dizziness (ugh!);

A casual, calm gesture (what does that mean!/forget it!);

“shhh?!”, accompanied by a dismissive shake of the head (how is that possible?).

These communication signals, that is, paraverbal and non-verbal signs are the so-called ritualized signals "which are easily deciphered by the opponent, as they are considered the norm and do not require verbal explanation. The one to whom we show our tongue understands what we think of him. All these signals speak for themselves.

In addition, they are deservedly popular as one of the ways to show their resourcefulness:

Try to "reward" the interlocutor with applause while he speaks! a silly speech about feminism, but emphatically slow;

Stretch your hand, folded in the form of a pistol, in the direction of the interlocutor and say; "Bang Bang!"

React in an unexpected way by saying "WOW!"

Connect the outstretched thumb, index and middle fingers, while depicting the sound of a savory kiss. This unnerves everyone.

Agree: the symbolic nature of all these paraverbal / non-verbal signs, with and without comments, is unambiguous: “You and your words do not touch me at all!” For God's sake.

An exercise

128. Please close your eyes and repeat in your own words the basic principles of nonverbal and paraverbal signaling techniques. Think of and mentally act out one or two situations where this technique can be applied.

____________________

____________________

____________________

____________________

____________________

____________________

____________________

____________________

Series of trainings

In this section, questions and statements are presented to your attention, which can easily be parried with the help of resourcefulness and wit.

I urge you to turn away from the path of rational answers, instead make light, playful and well-aimed remarks.

Common or joking apt response patterns are provided as examples so you can develop your own "pattern".

This exercise will help you practice wit in a given situation, as well as demonstrate your resourcefulness.

An important addition.

If the answers are difficult for you, simulate the situation. It's better to spend a little more time thinking about the answer than to give up halfway through. Samples of good answers you should learn in the same way as you learn the grammar of any language.

Please write down your answers in a separate notebook or notebook, or copy the task from the book, then after a while you can do it again!

I advise you to record the time it took you to complete the exercise, this will introduce an element of competition!

In the answers to the first exercises, the name of the technique used is written in brackets (see Appendix).

Alternative: if you want to understand the subject first and do only a few exercises without going too deep into the topic, then this is certainly possible.

But in this case, decide if it would not be more useful to first review the answers on pages 166-167, and then proceed to complete the tasks.

Exercises

129. A tipsy man with lush hair is rude to you (you have a bald head): “You also lost your hair at a young age!”

Answer 1:____________________

Answer 2:____________________

130. During a meeting at the enterprise: “Leave, do not argue. In the end, the one who is smarter concedes.

Answer 1:____________________

Answer 2:____________________

131. One job seeker calls for the hundredth time: “Please urgently confirm receipt of my resume, I have interesting ideas, and as they say, strike while the iron is hot!” The really evil answer would be:

____________________

132. Proud father: "My son has been walking for two days now!" Your response:

____________________

133. A Mercedes worker boasts: “We are now assembling a new S-class, I am constantly at the assembly line!” You answer:

____________________

134. One of your colleagues says to you, dressed in a pantsuit: "You look like a real man!"

Answer 1: ____________________

Answer 2: ____________________

135. One acquaintance (with a sympathetic look): "I heard you were put out of work!" Your answer: "That's true, but..."

Your response:

Answer 1: ____________________

____________________

Answer 2: ____________________

____________________

136. Comment after reading the magazine: "... there are so many contagious diseases in the world, you need to be very careful!" Your remark:

Your response:

____________________

____________________

137. Why the US Declaration of Independence does not apply

to women?

Because it says: ____________________

____________________

138. You had an accident. A passing onlooker pesters with

question: "Tell me, do you have an accident?"

Your response:

Answer 1: ____________________

____________________

Answer 2: ____________________

____________________

139. There is only one beast in front of which an adult lion tucks his tail, who is it?

Your response:

____________________

____________________

140. Sunday morning, breakfast with a newspaper, behind which, however, your “half” hid. Your attempts to attract attention are ignored. You: "How are you?" He/she: "Fine."

You have fun:

____________________

____________________

141. At the reception, one of your girlfriends whispers: “You are already taking your fourth glass of champagne, I don’t like it!”

Your response:

Answer 1: ____________________

____________________

Answer 2:____________________

____________________

142. Your acquaintance confidentially, over a glass of wine: “Have you already enlightened your children about sex education?”

Your resourceful answer:

____________________

____________________

143. In a crowded bus: "Don't push like that!"

Your response:

____________________

____________________

144. A male colleague teases: “Honey, you are always dressed in gray, very formal, though a little cold, even a pity!”

Your response:

____________________

____________________

145. Sunday market: “I'd like a pound of pears, please. Were they treated with plant protection chemicals? Black humor:

____________________

____________________

146. Please continue the conversation in which one of the interlocutors shines with wit at the expense of the other: A .: “My wife is expecting a baby!” B: From whom? A .: “This question is just impudence!” B.:

____________________

____________________

147. During a party in the high society of Munich, one actor boasts: “Even at the beginning of my career, I insured my face for half a million euros, it will pay off!”

You are provocative:

____________________

____________________

148. A psychologist during a job test asks you, “What do you see when you look in the mirror?”

Your resourceful and witty (out of place in this

situation!) ambiguous answer:

____________________

____________________

149. "Are you good at remembering phone numbers?"

____________________

____________________

150. In the company, one lady discusses men with a fuse, and it is heard that she, disappointed in the reliability and character of all men, is ready to be only with someone “who does not drink or smoke!”

Your pertinent remark:

____________________

____________________

151. You say: "... the postman just came." Your girlfriend asks, "Something for me?"

You answer:

____________________

____________________

152. You see a man who is dragging a couch.

Your apt remark:

____________________

____________________

153. A witty response to a police officer who stopped you at 11:45 in the morning for an identity check and said that children from twelve (years) can sit in the front seat next to the driver.

You know he's right, and yet:

____________________

____________________

154. An envious person says to you: “How did you manage to hold out at this job for so long?”

Your response:

Answer 1: ____________________

____________________

Answer 2:____________________

____________________

155. You are at the counter of a first-class hotel: “350 euros for a room is simply unthinkable!”

Nice woman receptionist: “But this room has a great view of Alexanderplatz! 350 euros for this is not much at all!”

Answer 1: ____________________

____________________

Answer 2:____________________

____________________

156. Waiter. "Bring game?"

Your response:

____________________

____________________

157. As a theologian, I ask: "Should priests marry?"

____________________

____________________

158. You are a young pretty girl and work as a receptionist in a hotel. One of the residents pesters with the question of whether they can wake him up and how they will do it: “Then I would like to be awakened at 6:00 with a hot kiss!”

You have fun:

____________________

____________________

159. A passenger asks the driver: “Excuse me, how long will the bus stop?”

____________________

____________________

160. The head of the department addresses you as an employee: "Man, you're late again!"

Your response:

____________________

____________________

161. A colleague complains: “I didn’t have time to meet with a client today because I missed my plane. But nothing, I already said that I would arrive tomorrow at the same time.

You ironically:

____________________

____________________

162. Father to his offspring: “Three expressions I don’t want to hear in this house: the first is “fig”, the second is “ass” and the third is “fuck”!

Son's answer:

____________________

____________________

163. You are out of luck at a business lunch. One awkward move and the espresso spills onto the tablecloth.

You casually comment:

____________________

____________________

164. A guest at a party bothers you with endless stories about himself: "... and my daughter inherited her mind from me!" You "put him on the bandwagon":

Answer 1: ____________________

____________________

Answer 2:____________________

____________________

165. An acquaintance scoffs: “In this hat you look like a shepherd!”

Your response:

____________________

____________________

166. You are a tennis player, after an unaccounted ball you turn to the judge: “What is the name of your dog?” Judge: "I don't have a dog!"

Your response:

____________________

____________________

167. "Well guys, let's have another beer?"

Your counter question:

____________________

____________________

168. On a quiet Saturday night, your husband tells you while preparing dinner, "I'll go away for 5 minutes, watch a sports broadcast with one eye."

You (with a twist):

____________________

____________________

169. Waiter: "I would bring you an amazing wine Eiswein 1, but it's not on the menu"

Your response:

____________________

____________________

170. Baffle your “half”: “Do you know how much paste is in a tube?” - "?!"

1 Wine made from grapes harvested after the first frost Literally translated "ice wine". - Note. lane.

Your response:

____________________

____________________

171. A colleague pesters you with advice to shave off your mustache: “Shave it off and you will look completely different!”

Your response:

____________________

____________________

172. At a party, one of the guests boasts: “My ancestors drove the Romans out of there and utterly defeated the French!”

Your remark:

____________________

____________________

173. The doctor is going to give you an injection, while he says: "It won't hurt!"

You (ironically):

____________________

____________________

174. Your interlocutor-snob boasts that the servant fully serves him. You say: "I also like to ring the bell to call the maid while lying on a deck chair." He asks in surprise: “Do you also have a maid?”

You (resourcefully):

____________________

____________________

175. In a bar: You come back from the restroom, slightly tipsy. "Man, you were faster than lightning!"

Your response:

____________________

____________________

176. You make a bet with a colleague: "I bet I'll tell you what is written in your diary for this week?"

Your witty reply:

____________________

____________________

177. During the winter vacation: "Well, snowdrifts"

Your response:

____________________

____________________

Don't just engage the other person in the conversation, make them nod in agreement with you.

Your report is completed, the presentation is over, the claims have been voiced. But what is it? Echo? Your audience, like 2,000 years ago at gladiator fights in ancient Rome, reacts by raising or lowering their thumbs.

So, again, did you try to convey complex nuances to the minds of the listeners, difficult topics formulated with the help of ornate passages, polished reasoned statements, or use an extended technique of persuasion in response to criticism? No wonder, because we learn from expensive seminars how to best put the content into a verbal form.

Often, unfortunately, we are taught to involve the interlocutor in the discussion, making him interested. content. It really needs to be done. However, based on my experience of participating in many seminars, I can say that few people know how to involve the interlocutor in a conversation so that he directly reacts to what he hears.

My summary: if engaging the interlocutor in a conversation is given with such difficulty, why don't we force him to at least nod us in response?

Imagine the situation, during your public presentation, one critical listener notices that your presentation was superficial and therefore unprofessional.

Your answer is: “You are wrong. The undeniable fact is that I am a professional not only in terms of the theoretical part of this concept, but also in its implementation. Professionalism is expressed in the success of my enterprise. Professionalism is what I assume you have!”

Not expecting this, the critic nods in response.

The impact of such tactics on the interlocutor is phenomenal: someone asks a critical question or makes an inappropriate remark, you brilliantly parry, and ... your opponent nods in agreement.

Listeners take it as an endorsement, it really works!

Naturally, the easiest way to achieve this effect is by directly contacting the interlocutor. Therefore, I strongly recommend that you, both in a narrow circle and on large forums, use this message to enter into a conversation that works in our latitudes for one to two seconds. This happens not at the level of content, but at the level of contact. In other words, turn your dialogue with your opponent into a monologue to influence the subconscious.

Here is how the message to enter into a conversation works on the interlocutor:

Addressing the interlocutor, at the end of the phrase, call him by name!

the name at the beginning of the phrase attracts attention;

a name at the end of a phrase elicits a nod in response.

“…a product that you have successfully tested, Mr. Müller!”

Use the interlocutor's reflection. Reflection provides agreement.

“... this is exactly the point that you, Mr. Mayer, and I am grateful to you for this, raised at the last meeting!”

Weave language into your phrases that orients you toward reaching consensus. Such wording emphasizes the commonality between the interlocutors and engages in conversation, at the same time encouraging the partner to nod his head. Anyone who does not do this excludes himself from the general circle.

"This problem is known to everyone who is actively involved in project management."

Address the audience directly using positive transfers. By doing so, you make your listeners your allies. You are equally competent in this area.

“Therefore, we insist on absolute professionalism, professionalism that distinguishes your company as well.”

End important statements with affirmative statements. They help to re-emphasize what has been said.

"... clear as daylight!", "... logical!" (Pause, eye contact).

Make the listener focus on the important statement from beginning to end, including pauses. So there will be a message to join the conversation and the need to nod.

Use polite language. They strengthen relationships and make the treatment more respectful.

"As professionals, you know what I'm talking about..."

Change the structure of the script. Various scenarios we

most often we enter with the words: "Imagine that ..." -

forcing the interlocutor to listen more carefully. But

a nod of the head can be received as a response

to a shared experience.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'll ask you to remember ... so, the situation is familiar to you!"

Consistently use the calling technique, support your appeals with eye contact. By appealing to the interlocutor, you guide him and give a guide to action. You receive a nod of your head as a sign of gratitude.

“So take your chance!”

Of course, we don't really need an interlocutor who constantly shakes his head like he's from a Volkswagen commercial; but thanks to this, you draw him into the conversation as much as possible and increase the impact of your meaningful argument at the level of contact. Apply this technique. It affects the subconscious; using the cliches of dialectical discussions, she transfers them to monologue speech. Result: even if there are disagreements between you and the audience, everything will still be OK!

In this section, questions and statements are presented to your attention, which can easily be parried with the help of a play on words. When answering, use in random order all the techniques that have already been discussed on the pages of this book. Please remember that answers may vary. It all depends on the situation!

The exercises in this section will help you master the clichés of well-aimed responses that are appropriate for repelling similar verbal attacks. So veer off the path of rational responses, instead making light, playful, and well-aimed remarks.

Common or humorous examples of apt responses are provided as examples so that you can develop your “template” from them. These exercises will help you develop a sense of humor in a given situation, as well as demonstrate your resourcefulness.

All attacks and low blows are given here without any context so that you can just about hone your accuracy.

Important addition: if the answers are given with difficulty, simulate the situation, let the statements turn into images.

It's better to spend a little more time thinking about the answer than to give up halfway through. Samples of good answers you should learn in the same way as you learn the grammar of any language.

Please write down your answers in a separate notebook or notebook, or copy the task from the book, then after a while you can do it again!

I advise at the same time to record the time it took us to complete the exercise, this will introduce an element of competition!

Try to give at least two answers.

Alternative, if you want to understand the subject first and do only a few individual exercises without going too deep into the topic, then this is certainly possible.

In this case, decide if it would be more useful to review the answers first, and then move on to completing the assignments.

Exercises

Give three answers!

You will find possible answers in the appendix on page 171.

178. In a mockingly polemical tone: “I heard you can trace your lineage back to monkeys. It's really necessary!"

____________________

____________________

____________________

179. Annoyed: “You really want to tire me!”

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

180. "How you look, look in the mirror!"

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

181. "At the last meeting, you said something completely different!"

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

182. "This must be a joke!"

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

183 Mockingly: “What kind of wise thoughts are you uttering?”

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

184. "You again do not take into account scientific achievements, Mr. Doctor?"

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

185. "These are rather strange truths that you regale us with!"

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

186. “I have my doubts about that too!…”

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

187. "Then I should start acting like a leader!"

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

188. "I can mock myself!"

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

189. "I don't get it!"

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

190. "That goes against my beliefs!"

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

191. "Then I'm more tolerant of others!"

Your answer 1:____________________

____________________

Your answer 2:____________________

____________________

Your answer 3:____________________

____________________

192. “I honor the traditions of our company. Please treat this with respect."

Your answer 1:____________________

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Your answer 2:____________________

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193. "What does this circus mean?"

Your answer 1:____________________

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194. Woman to man: "Are you always such a Casanova / macho / madman ?!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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Your answer 2:____________________

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195. "Don't you notice that your colleagues are already yawning?"

Your answer 1:____________________

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Your answer 2:____________________

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196. “You can already make a list of mistakes!”

Your answer 1:____________________

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Your answer 3:____________________

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197. "This is my success!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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198. "Stupid!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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199. "I'm starting to feel like a demagogue here!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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200. "You get to the point long and confusingly!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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Your answer 2:____________________

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201. “We must consider all opinions, after all, we work in a democratic company!”

Your answer 1:____________________

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Your answer 2:____________________

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202. "Could you not ask such stupid questions?"

Your answer 1:____________________

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Your answer 2:____________________

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203. "Are you giving in, want to buy time?"

Your answer 1:____________________

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Your answer 2:____________________

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204. “May I ask a question? How did you get such a result? Where did you get such data? What are you getting at now?"

Your answer 1:____________________

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Your answer 2:____________________

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205. "That would be the worst possible option!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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206. "It's a declaration of bankruptcy in the intellectual sense!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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207. "What, you're on a long coffee break again?"

Your answer 1:____________________

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208. "Now you're playing boss/project manager!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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209. "Please don't interrupt me!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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210. "That's selfish of you!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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211. "Please, I'd like to finish!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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212. "I'm convinced you're on the wrong track!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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213. "God, this can't be!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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214. "You are unable to do it!"

Your answer 1:____________________

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Your answer 2:____________________

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Your answer 3:____________________

Verbal teaching methods are one of the most frequently used, thanks to which a large flow of information is transmitted in a short period of time. In this case, the student formulates a problem and independently solves it.

Methods are divided into several types:

• Material story. The teacher orally conveys information to the student. At the same time, he involves the ward, trying to present information in an interesting way.
• Explanation of the material. This method differs from the previous one in that the teacher does not tell the information, but explains, interpreting the concepts in a language accessible to the student.
• Conversation with the ward. It is a dialogue between teacher and student. The method is used to conduct a survey on already studied material, but often the teacher asks the student leading questions to lead to an independent understanding of the topic.
• Discussion involves a group of students discussing the topic of the lesson. A teacher who knows how to involve all students in this type of explanation will, as a result, get a complete understanding of the material by the students.
• The lecture is used if the teacher needs to tell the students a long text that has a logical structure, a beginning and an end. The method is a teacher's monologue.
• Independent work of students on the book. The method is important because it develops in students the ability to independently find the necessary information and analyze it.

All of the above are verbal teaching methods, but it is advisable to use them in a complex manner, alternating in each lesson.

Verbal Information Models

Verbal information models explain information that is difficult to understand and perceive in an accessible way. Word models display basic information in a simplified form without reflecting the full properties of a topic. The information models are:

• Graphic word model. It is presented in the form of graphs, maps and drawings.
• A tabular model is a description of the information contained in a table.
• The text model implies a concise presentation of information on paper or in electronic form.
• The iconic model is displayed using generally accepted symbols - signs.
• The mathematical model is presented as a set of mathematical formulas.
• The network model is a complicated tabular model. It is used when a complex circuit is being considered, such as a subway map.
• A mixed model is used when studying complex data. Sometimes such an example of an information model is found in architecture and construction, when a graph, a table, and analytical indicators are studied at the same time.

Information models are combined in teaching methods. The teacher uses each of the models to convey the material quickly and efficiently.

Verbal improvisation

Often we listen to the speech of a professional speaker and involuntarily wonder how his memory has so much useful information, how such a wide vocabulary has developed.

• Verbal improvisation is an art that involves the ability of a person to easily and quickly talk on various topics without prior preparation.
• Verbal improvisation does not allow empty speech that does not carry any meaning. All words are only on the topic, without unnecessary fuss and other information.
• Verbal improvisation is a useful skill. If the words that he prepared for a speech flew out of a person’s head, then no one will notice this thanks to the ability to improvise.

Verbal improvisation:

• smoothes out pauses in the text;
• allows you not to learn the text by heart, but to navigate only by keywords;
• allows you to make the monologue more emotional;
• helps not to get confused if they ask questions;
• helps to stop being afraid of the public;
• allows you not to keep listeners in suspense;
• teaches to talk on any topic.

There are verbal methods and techniques that help you learn to improvise in conversation:

• When talking about a topic, use the technique of associations. To do this, develop the first thought that arises in your head, deviating a little from the topic, but not leaving it. The method of associations is suitable to cheer up the audience or give them a break from the topic of conversation. But remember that the use of associations that are far from the topic of conversation is unacceptable and stands out from the monologue, this will not please the listeners and make them bored.
• The method of questions differs from the method of associations. If you feel like you don't know what to talk about, ask your audience a rhetorical question. You will receive short answers, and while people are answering, you have the opportunity to come up with a further monologue.
• If the method of associations is not suitable, and it is impossible to ask questions, cling to the last word that you said and say something about this word. You can not use this technique more than once every 5 minutes, otherwise you will be revealed.

Improvisation is an important skill of an experienced speaker. People who are fluent in this skill will never get into an awkward position in public. But do not switch your attention to the listeners, do not try to offend any of them, and even more so to humiliate them in order to divert attention from yourself. Improvise only on distant topics.

Bredemeyer Karsten "The Art of Verbal Attack"

Bredemeyer Karsten is a European coach and consultant who is known far beyond the borders of his country. Bredemeyer is a renowned teacher of rhetoric. His book, The Art of Verbal Attack, advises readers not to use conventional wisdom and standards of conduct when talking, arguing, or responding to attempts to put you down.

Everyone is familiar with the situation when they want to humiliate a person, but he has no words to resourcefully and creatively answer the offender. Bredemeyer Karsten describes more than 50 tricks and 200 exercises that develop a person's resourcefulness and vocabulary so that a verbal skirmish ends in victory.

Bredemeyer Karsten wrote the book for a wide audience of readers. The author guarantees that after reading the person will develop their own answers to the dispute, so that no one can humiliate him.

Bredemeyer in his work embodied a resourceful model of behavior in a difficult stressful situation, so no one will take you by surprise. The book written by Bredemeyer Carsten is called The Art of Verbal Attack for a reason. You defend your rightness in any situation without resorting to insulting your opponent, and humiliating you is out of the question.

Verbal diarrhea: what is it and how to treat it

Verbal diarrhea in humans is a harmless disease that sometimes becomes chronic. Verbal diarrhea is characterized by excessive sociability, which arises from a lack of attention. If verbal diarrhea does not go away with time, it is considered a person's mental illness. If you met a person with this ailment, it would not be the best option to insult or humiliate him. Instead of being rude, avoid interacting with him.

Verbal diarrhea is a harmless disease. To prevent development, communicate more often. Do not withdraw into yourself, otherwise verbal diarrhea is inevitable in the future. Do not confuse verbal diarrhea with human eloquence. Disease - talk in vain, without meaning.

Verbal duel

Do you have any associations with the word "duel"? A duel is a duel between a person and an opponent. A verbal duel is the same duel, only the ability to communicate is considered a weapon.

Examples of verbal duels global network will tell a lot. The easiest and most popular of them is the interview. The winner is the person who has something to say about himself, who plans and implements the conversation better than anyone else.

Examples of errors in the conduct of a verbal duel:

• wordiness;
• self-confidence, inadequate self-esteem;
• an attempt to humiliate an opponent;
• use of foul language.

Be cool, calm, but do not overestimate the possibilities, then the fight will end in your favor. When conducting a duel, do not forget about the method of associations, the last word. Improvise to win.

The word can hurt or kill. Mastering the art of speaking is important for every person, but, unfortunately, not everyone understands this and uses it for good.

Carsten Bredemeyer is a coach and consultant known both in Europe and beyond. The Art of Verbal Attack is his new textbook on rhetoric. The main topics are constructive methods of conducting a discussion, which he

Carsten Bredemeyer is a coach and consultant known both in Europe and beyond.The Art of Verbal Attack is his new textbook on rhetoric. The main themes are constructive discussion techniques, which he promotes at seminars among middle and top managers, urging them to abandon the usual patterns of behavior. The book features over 50 different discussion techniques and over 200 exercises to hone your own skills.

Using the templates, you will gradually create your own response templates, which will no doubt help you out during the discussion, and you will no longer be taken by surprise.

Carsten Bredemeyer, The Art of Verbal Attack: A Practical Guide. – M.: Alpina Business Books, 2005.

Today we publish part of the first chapter "Be resourceful in the debate", which contains a description of the main constructive methods of conducting a discussion and, in particular, the "rule of three T".

Chapter 1

Resourcefulness is...

• from the point of view of the processes taking place inside a person - your professional reactions to the questions asked, of course, if against the background of increased pressure and attacks of opponents you are able to do more than just open your mouth, take a breath and then close it again;
• when it comes to external manifestations, resourcefulness should be understood as actions, timely spoken remarks, non-verbal and verbal actions in response to attacks, killer phrases or unfair attacks against oneself. Moreover, they were said in such a way that the opponent / opponent and / or those present would want to do the same in a similar situation;
• a subconscious or conscious skill and a response that is "just firmly learned." They, like grammar, can be mastered.

The situation when you are unable to utter a word arises if you do not own professional techniques, do not use the methods and tools that are appropriate in this situation, react unprofessionally to verbal attacks, if you have incorrectly assessed the situation or underestimated your opponent. That's when you react inadequately: either too violently, or even become withdrawn.

Therefore, to begin with, it is necessary to define some concepts:

• well-aimed answers should come at the right time. They cannot visit you retroactively on the way home or even the next day, and certainly they should not give the impression of a slow reaction, stretching the interval during which the conversation must be answered (usually 3-5 seconds). However, in any case, you should remember that it is better to delay the answer than to explain what you meant later;
• your answer should be elegant and relevant;
• you must leave yourself and (of course, best of all) your audience or opponent with an impression of the appropriateness of what was said in the situation. Therefore, in most situations, the tools of verbal defeat, caustic insults are like charges that exploded in the barrel, and in this regard, they, like boomerang answers, are excluded. A quickly found standard response to a remark will not add points to you, and can subsequently turn the audience and opponent against you. True, for such cases, you probably prepared a couple of verbal mines, but, unfortunately, only you yourself will be a victim. Therefore, it is necessary to strive to leave a pleasant impression: you gave a suitable answer, showed an example of an adequate response, and remembering the situation, you remain satisfied with your behavior and can confidently say: “Everything was OK, I was OK, and the situation was OK". That's why I distinguish constructive resourcefulness in a dispute from all other tricks!
• well-aimed responses are like accurate blows of a rapier that make the opponent think, but should never be a firework of verbal insults or a bonfire of the inquisition for your opponent;
• professional resourcefulness is designed to help find a way out of an unpleasant situation, and not stage an exchange of boxing blows and not provoke an escalation;
• in a figurative sense, resourcefulness in disputes can be understood as all your witty thoughts taken together, which, although they may remain unspoken, however, allow you to stay on top, and not slide down;
• appropriate and constructive answers in the dispute should prompt the opponent to think, clarify the situation, remain in his memory so that he can
  analyze;
• resourcefulness in a dispute is based on emotional perception, therefore your well-aimed answers are conscious verbal, non-verbal and paraverbal actions that explain the appropriate criticism of the actions, words of your interlocutor and invite him to continue, if you yourself want it, a constructive conversation;
• your well-aimed answers should be related to the context, with the specific phrase you want to respond to, and in no case turn into verbal
  rubbish thrown out of place;
• your resourceful answers are aimed at resolving contradictions without allowing the conversation to turn into a tangle of emotional problems;
• and finally, that is why your well-aimed and resourceful answers in a conversation with a critical or unpleasant interlocutor should become a reflection of your reputation, independence and at the same time high communicative intelligence. Be persistent in demonstrating your superiority.

  First of all, work with your head and do not repeat stupid things after others - this is a serious requirement for your independent work with this book and at the same time an appeal to you.

  Resourcefulness in the classical sense of the word- Thisa product of a light head, not a strong throat.

  Note:

  Each time, giving a well-aimed answer, designed to stopverbal duel, you must interrupt the visualcontact.

  Someone who inserts a risky or, conversely, appropriate remark during a verbal skirmish, gives a good, convincing answer to the opponent in a meeting, group discussion, in a one-on-one conversation, during a round table conversation or at a conference, often nothing else there is no choice but to allow this answer to have its effect on the interlocutor.

  She or he wants to enjoy the coveted sound of fanfare in his honor, the reaction of the opponent, his amazing irritation and annoying defeat. But then (wow!) the rested opponent again rushes into battle. According to statistics, in a verbal duel, the chances of staying on top are 50/50.

  But why, you ask yourself, despite such a magnificent verbal blow, is he ready to continue the argument? And it's all about eye contact, looking at the interlocutor, you kind of ask: “Now what? With all my desire, I can’t imagine that you are still capable of answering this!”

  Eye contact is a detail that is often overlooked, but can be crucial. On the other hand, it is a stupid habit that requires effort and concentration to get rid of. Important to remember:

  Through prolonged eye contact, youinvite the interlocutor to continue the verbal duel. You should not do this if you expect the exact opposite effect.

  Constructive Discussion Techniques

  You would always be faced with the choice of what direction to give to the discussion in which you participate, your report, presentation or discussion. It could be:

• a constructive direction, the purpose of which is the resumption of a discussion focused on achieving a result;
• verbal skirmish, which, on the one hand, contributes to the establishment of certain relations between the parties, and on the other hand, is destructive in terms of achieving the result of communication.

  The constructive direction is that you stop the escalation using a cascading technique to interrupt non-constructive digressions, the essence of which is to return the discussion to a businesslike course and to ensure that both parties are interested in its effectiveness. There are three strategies you can use to dampen an escalation:

  1 Reaction at the subject level- "Rule of three Ts".

  2 Reaction at the emotional level - "Emotional yellow card".

  3 Reaction at the meta level- "Reaction to BredaMayer."

  Reaction at the subject level - "Rule of three T"

  At the first sign of a confrontation beginning to question your reputation, image, or competence, it makes sense to apply a strategy to end the confrontation at the subject level. This means that you quickly, painlessly and persistently return to the discussion of the main topic.

  Let's imagine that until now the conversation has been constructive and proceeded in a businesslike way. Suddenly and almost imperceptibly, it turned into a discussion of extraneous topics, thus deviating from the main goal. There are common personal attacks and verbal attacks that are designed to put pressure on you or bury your reputation. In such a situation, you should aim to bring the discussion back to the main topic. Relevant response #1 is the "rule of three T's":

  Touch - turn - Talk

  1 Touch - Grade: evaluate the topic of conversation from a point
  view of the purpose of the discussion.

  2 turn- Return: return to the main topic.

  3 Talk- Deepen: Go deep into the main topic so that it
  again became the main subject of discussion.

  Example

  Touch - Grade:“Please don’t jump into extraneous topics. Let's stay in line with the main topic of our discussion and not deviate from it.

  turn - Return:"Our topic today is the logistics of product XYZ in your facility."

  Talk - recess:“I just wanted to draw your attention to the negative impact on our production cycles. So, how can we ensure flawless logistics in a reasonable time frame? One way is to…”

  An alternative option that is relevant in the case of personal attacks:

  Touchin the imperative mood:"Don't start a controversy, please stick to the main topic."

  Teern: "Our topic today is the logistics of product XYZ in the enterprise."

  Talk: “I have already pointed out the factors that have had a negative impact on our production cycles. So, how can we ensure flawless logistics in a reasonable time frame? One of the ways is…”

  Tip: In a roundtable or discussion, use Touch-Turn-Talk along with eye contact.

  Touch/ Eye contact with the addressee; you say, "Don't start a debate, please stick to the main topic."

  turn/Change of eye contact; looking at another interlocutor, you say: "Our topic today is the logistics of product XYZ in the enterprise."

  Talk/The second interlocutor becomes the addressee; you say: “I have already pointed out the factors that have had a negative impact on our production cycles. So, how can we ensure flawless logistics in a reasonable time frame? One of the ways is…”

  This is the only way to ensure that the first addressee is excluded from the conversation. Eye contact means: Well, does anyone have an objection?! You don't want to go back to an off topic anyway.

  The advantages of the "rule of three T" are obvious:

• you consistently take the lead in the conversation;
• you do not accept deviations from the topic of conversation;
• you actively exclude extraneous topics from the conversation and do not go into discussing the mood of those present;
• you are unshakable in your position and strictly adhere to the topic;
• you stop bickering and witticisms about the competence of those present;
• all your maneuvers do not go beyond politeness and common sense;
• you quickly and persistently stop the tactless behavior of the participants;
• at the same time, you not only answer questions, but also focus the attention of the audience on clear language;
• you answer only those questions that help to continue the discussion, appreciating them accordingly.

  Consider: every answer justifies the question asked!

  Please observe the following principles:

  Formulate positive statements.

  Not right:“Mental mood is not the topic of today's meeting!”

  Correctly: “Our topic today is logistics, please explain your position on this issue!”

  Underline what was said with an unambiguous assessment.

  Not right:“In this way, we will reach our goal faster.”

  Correctly: “Only in this way can we quickly reach the goal of our conversation.”

  From the very beginning, stop the transition to extraneous topics and only then return to the main topic of discussion.

  Not right:“Now it’s about the enterprise as a whole, not about your specific area.”

  Correctly: "Now it's not about your field of activity, but about the enterprise as a whole."

  Formulate your statements briefly and clearly.

  Not right:“Well, it so happened that we have repeatedly tried to move on to discussing this topic, of course, under certain circumstances ...”

  Correctly: “... to the topic. We all share the opinion that…”

  Avoid any comparisons, restrictions, declaring yourself intellectually bankrupt and discovering signs of communicative incompetence.

  Not right:“Perhaps it is time to discuss, although it is possible - and I approve of this anyway - but there are contradictions here too ...”

  Correctly: “Let's return to the proposed solutions to the problem. These were..."

  In a conversation / discussion, do not use questions, but appeals directly to the audience.

  Not right:“Could we return to our main theme, Logistics?

  Correctly: “Mr Mayer, please tell us more about your proposal for solving the problem!”

  Avoid repetition and negative statements, they reinforce the misconception and lay the foundation for reproaches against you.

  Not right:“Bad image? No, our image is not bad at all.”

  Correctly: “No, we have a good image in the eyes of the public!”

  Typical and possible examplesTouch/Ratings

• Not really;
• the question was posed, in a different context;
• it's not the main theme;
• this is our main question;
• it is not about that now;
• this is your personal opinion;
• you generalize;
• our clients ask about something else;
• this is another aspect;
• true False;
• it is speculation;
• you think so;
• because you used the wrong information;
• this is a wrong impression.

  In case of negative statements addressed to you, addressed to your company about the image, competence, education or experience, forbid yourself to ask counter questions, because opponents who have mastered the rhetoric usually answer such questions.

  An example of an unsuccessful counter-question

  Attack: "You have a bad image in the company!"

  A killer counter-question: "Why did you decide that?" Possible answer:

  1 All employees speak badly of you.

  2 No one expects you to successfully complete this project.

  3 You have just sunk an important project.

  If you are interested in developing the topic, I advise you to ask only evaluation questions:

  "How did you come to this erroneous opinion?"

  Only in this way can you be sure that everything your opponent says will lose in the perception of your assessment by those present.

  In general, "Evaluation" and "Return" in responses-objections are often opposed to each other:

  Counts:

  The stronger the reproach, the more persistent the objection.

  This contrast is especially noticeable in contrasts:

  "Touch - Evaluation" - "Turn - Return"

  Speculation - Proof

  Assessment - Fact

  Personal impression - Confirmation

  Evaluation - Result

  Assumption - Result

  Theory - Practice

  A few examples well-aimed answers, which, of course, are deliberately formulated positive:

  "Have you ever attended rhetoric seminars?"

  Incorrect unswer:"Yes!"

  Possible reaction of the enemy: “Why then is it imperceptible?”

  Correct answer:

  Touch - "Yes,

  Turn - and if you analyze my performances, you will definitely come to the conclusion

  Talk - that I, for example, use the method of five sentences in my statements.

  “Why does your company have a bad image?”

  Incorrect unswer:“Bad image? How did you come to that conclusion?"

  And then your opponent will unfold in full force.

  Correct answer:

  Touch - “You have an erroneous opinion.

  Turn - In fact, both in the eyes of the public and in the opinion of our customers, the image of the company is impeccable.

  Talk - This year's award for...”

  Variations on a theme

  The situation when there are not enough words for an answer often arises among managers due to the assimilation of a certain template for conducting a discussion, which makes them act according to a given scheme:

• leading question - an answer containing puzzlement / irritation / counter-question,

  or

• decisive reproach - forced excuses / lack of response. I have always felt dissatisfied because many of my fellow teachers often teach how right and answer questions in detail, instead of teaching answer the right questions. And this is not easy, because we learn from an early age that
  should answer the questions asked and how to do it
  make.

  "Don't ask - answer!" - an old rule, which not only not will help you in a critical situation, but also plunge you into silence. Again:

  (Counter) questions are excluded if there was a negative statement about:

• your competence and/or image;
• your field of activity, company
• or personality and personal problems.

  Answering the questions of critical or unscrupulous interlocutors and accepting their statements means justifying your opponents and experiencing pressure during the discussion.

  We can remember something fundamentally important: (false) politeness requires answering all the questions of the interlocutor, self-sufficiency and professionalism, on the contrary, - answering selectively, because every answer justifiesquestion!

  Former Chairman CDU G. Geisler always answered a question about his incompetence with a question, saying the following: “However, first of all, the question arises of what we have achieved, and we are 1…, 2…, 3…, 4…”.

  It was not easy for interlocutors to ask him questions on topics of a negative nature, and they could only cross them off their lists.

  One top manager behaved differently, who in one of the channel's programs RTL « DerheisseStuhl» he tried to answer all the questions, even those that were not within his competence, until he had a heart attack in front of the camera.

  It is not necessary to explain which strategy is preferable.

  And now for some professional advice based on the "rule of three T" on how to behave in critical situations. We will focus on the Touch/Evaluate and Turn/Return aspects.

  Relate critical questions and polemical remarks toareas of theory:

• “This is a question from the field of theory, but based on practical experience, I must object that ...”

  Redirect questions and unsubstantiated slanderousstatements to other participants in the conversation:

• “A legitimate question, but in the wrong place, ask our leader about it.”

  During a roundtable discussion, interpret questions and criticisms differently:

• “Your question relates to another point, and not to the one just mentioned! ..”

  Consistently replace questions and commentscritical or dishonest interlocutorsother questions/statements:

• “The question concerns only the topic “Strategy”, the correct question to those present from the point of view of our company sounds like this…”

  Emphasize questions or commentsopponents:

• “Your question is not related to the topic, but behind it lies, however, the main question ...”
• "An interesting question from an outsider's point of view, but the question of interest to our shareholders sounds..."

  Limit questions during negotiationsand objections, focusing on the topic of conversation:

• “This is a secondary aspect. After all, it's about…”
• "Your question is not related to the topic of conversation, because we are discussing..."

  Narrow down abstract questions and reproaches to the level of a definition or a simple explanation of a term:

• "In order to make your question legitimate, I will ask you to define project management and explain its scope."
• “The concept of responsibility can be interpreted in different ways. What responsibility and in what context are you talking about?

  Classically: evaluate the questions and polemical statements of the opponent:

• “Excuse me, but this is a typical entrepreneurial consultant question, so let’s jump right into company moves!”
• “Sorry, but our shareholders do not ask this question. They are asking..."

  Specify attacks and general questionsfor the benefit of other participants in the discussion:

• "Please, for everyone present, please elaborate on your question, what is it really about."

  Feel free to reveal the dishonest intentions of the critic:

• "What is your purpose in asking this defamatory and controversial question?"

  Classify the question or statement of the opponentin the context:

• “Dear Mr. Mayer, you are asking the same question again, only formulating it differently. We have just discussed it in great detail and have given an exhaustive answer. Once again, we...

  Counteract critical or polemicalquestions, clarifying their context, but leaving them unanswered:

• “Your polemical question again touches on only a small aspect of the overall strategy of our enterprise, so let's return to the discussion of the overall strategy ...”

  Emphasize the incompetence of dishonest opponents:

• “As a project manager, you should know that the question is purely theoretical…”
  

  From English. touch - touch, turn - direct, talk - talk. - Note. per.