Squirting: how it's done. Squirting - A Self-Achievement Technique How to Befriend a Constructive Critic

Moya Sarner, a British journalist and columnist for The Guardian, is sure that many of us have forgotten how to properly and effectively relax. And I decided to figure out how to fix it.

Analyze the time you spend in front of a screen

In our world, which is constantly online, it is becoming increasingly difficult to relax. Moya herself admits that for the first time she seriously thought about it after she had to quit sports due to an injury.

Physical exercise was always an activity during which she could be alone with herself. And without them, she began to feel completely lost.

When I get a free evening at home, I often have no idea what to do with it. Everything inevitably ends with me staring at one screen and then another for hours, until I go to bed. And then I wonder what I spent so much time on.

Moya Sarner

Moya is convinced she's far from the only one who likes to plop down on the couch and sit in front of the TV while her Twitter feed and five WhatsApp group chats flicker before her eyes.

Many people are really familiar with this problem. For example, actress Diane Keaton said in an interview with More: "I have no idea what I would do with a whole week off."

Gwen Stefani, in turn, told Stylist magazine that if she has downtime at work, she feels a little panic and tries to plan what to do next. And when Elon Musk was asked what he usually does after work, he replied: “Usually, I continue to work.”

The need for an affordable way to relax is indicated by at least an instant If The Adult Coloring Book Craze Is Dead, It Needs A Postmortem the surge in popularity that adult coloring books have received. Or growth Sales of mind, body, spirit books boom in UK amid ‘mindfulness mega-trend’ sales of books-mentors on survival in a world where no one and nothing stands still. Or the obsession with mindfulness, like Headspace, a meditation app that has over 15 million downloads.

Those who spent money on such things, apparently, were looking for answers to the same questions. And many of them are still searching. By the way, now the anti-stress coloring market is in decline, and Headspace has started laying off employees.

A 2018 report from British communications regulator Ofcom confirms A decade of digital dependency that a huge number of people depend on their digital devices and need constant access to the Internet.

78% have a smartphone, and among young people aged 16-24 this number rises to 95%. We check our phone every 12 minutes, although more than half admit it interferes with family and friends. And 43% agree that they spend too much time on devices. 7 out of 10 never turn them off at all.

Devices prevent us from resting, but even without them it is difficult for us to relax.

Clinical psychologist Rachel Andrew notes that she faces this problem every day in her therapy room, and things are getting worse. “In my practice, I have noticed that the number of people who find it difficult to disconnect from everything and relax is growing, especially in the last 3-5 years. This applies to all ages from 12 to 70 years old.”

There is nothing wrong with being lazy in front of the TV screen or with a smartphone in hand, in general, says Rachel. But it all depends on how exactly you do it.

“Sometimes people admit that they do not even delve into what appears before their eyes. They completely abstract, not understanding what they have been doing for the last half hour. It can almost be seen as a dissociation - periods when the brain is so overloaded that it is completely disconnected from what is happening. Of course, such a rest does not help the brain much.

Moya Sarner says that after evenings devoted entirely to Twitter or the series, she woke up feeling like she had eaten junk food before bed. And the fact is that she confused the feeling of completely turning off the brain with real relaxation.

Psychoanalyst David Morgan believes that such immersion in online is both a cause and a consequence of the fact that we have forgotten how to relax and have fun. “All of our devices and how we use them are all distractions,” he says.

People are so accustomed to looking for different means to forget that they cannot even survive the evening alone.

David Morgan

Immersion in the virtual world is an attempt to distract yourself, a way to avoid communicating with your own inner self. While for yourself you need to free up the mental space, which is entirely occupied by our devices.

Think about your true desires

Rachel Andrew says that some of her patients never thought about how they would like to spend their free time.

“They say they are too busy with their responsibilities - work, caring for the family and forced to maintain friendships. By the evening or weekend, there comes a time when they can do anything, but they no longer have the strength or motivation to do anything other than “falling out of reality.” But how can life be enjoyable if you only do what you have to do all the time?

For others, according to Rachel, the idea of ​​listening to their needs and desires is completely alien. Raised in a family where everything was centered around the needs of the other child or parent, they may never have been asked what they would like to do themselves. And there is nothing surprising that earlier they could not think about it.

But if they manage to find their pleasant occupation, which will help, this can cause great changes in their lives.

Sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish our own needs from the needs of the people around us. And it can take a lot of effort to figure out where your desires end and your partner's desires begin.

Nina Grunfeld, founder of Life Clubs, an organization that helps people live fulfilling lives.

“When my husband and I were still young, we went on vacation to Rome,” says Nina. “He wanted to visit every temple, every restaurant, every place he was interested in. And I returned home completely broken. Only after I figured out myself, thought about my life separately and what I personally like, I realized that in order to enjoy my vacation and return home fresh and full of energy, I need a quiet rest and reading.

Now, when we go on vacation, my husband goes to temples alone, and I feel really happy lying on the beach, by the pool or. For me, this is real pleasure. Well, in a restaurant, I can join him.

Ask for help

Moya Sarner reports that she has already begun to use all the ideal rules, but sometimes she still feels tired of the world.

Sometimes I want to disappear, dissolving into a smartphone or TV. It's like I need this feeling of total detachment, even though I know it's wrong.

Moya Sarner

She says that psychoanalytic therapy helps her to think about the reasons why this is happening. David Morgan also agrees that psychotherapy is very important in the process of getting rid of Internet addiction, since a person has to use his mind in consultations.

"Therapy fights distraction - it suggests," he says. “When people enter my office, they often say that for the first time they feel the impossibility of escaping circumstances.”

Facing difficulties head-on and running away from them are equally tiring. Solving problems is a really difficult and hectic job. But when there is someone nearby who can listen and help sort things out, it becomes easier.

Everyone is looking for their own ways to distract from the most important thing: here we live, and then we have to die. Having the mind to make sense of everything that happens, and the person who, together with you, think about it even deeper, is what helps to cope with this horrifying truth.

David Morgan

But this frightening fact also helps to realize how little is allotted to us on the planet. And it's a shame to waste it on voluntarily turning off your brain.

1. Enter the one hour rule. Nina Grunfeld recommends that during the holidays with friends or family, assign each person a whole hour, during which he can decide what everyone will do to relax. “One of my children will say that we will play video games, another that we will go for a walk, and the third will make everyone bake pies. In this way, everyone gets a little "own" time and tries other people's ways to relax. It’s very relaxing when you don’t have to plan your whole day yourself.”

2. Try to remember what you enjoyed doing the most as a child. Determine what was most important to you in this activity and try to come up with an “adult version” of it. If you don't remember it, ask friends and family or look at old photos.

Everyone can find something to do. If in adulthood we lose it, it is like losing our integrity as a person. Perhaps you enjoyed playing in the sandbox and would like to master ceramics. Or you loved to sculpt all sorts of things and you will like pastries.

3. Get out into nature. Rachel Andrew says: “If you have no idea what will help you relax, trust the science. More and more researchers agree that being in nature is uplifting and energizing.”

4. See the world in a new way.“Let yourself explore it. Wherever you are - go for a walk and see what you can find new for yourself. Try to get lost: every time before turning, decide where you want to go - left or right - and check where you end up, ”advises Grünfeld.

In erotic books, a lot has been written about the final chord of love. Achieving orgasm is an art, a delicate and entirely voluntary affair. Indispensable conditions for emotional and sensual sex are mutual passion and trust in a partner. And, of course, the right conditions. In other words, you are unlikely to experience orgasm while having sex on a pile of dry leaves if you are cold and mosquitoes bite. But you will most likely come to the end of passion if the sensations on the same heap are associated with fresh air, a wild deserted forest and the spicy smell of nature.

Orgasm is a purely individual experience. Each representative of the beautiful half of humanity experiences it in its own way. We can only approximately describe it, and in no case should we be equal to other descriptions, try to try on someone else's experience on ourselves.

Frigid women do not exist. There are only those whose sensuality is not yet awakened. Why? Perhaps a childhood or teenage trauma played a role, or a loving and at the same time quite skillful man simply did not meet. In fact, sexuality is gradually awakening even in the coldest beauties. True, like everything beautiful in life, an orgasm requires effort. But nice effort.

First hint:Tune in. If you are tired or not disposed to sexual intimacy, if intimate relationships have long ceased to amaze, it is better to sit in an armchair with a love story or a cup of aromatic coffee. If you're in a playful mood, pick up an erotic novel or a newspaper. Practice shows that the most vulgar tabloid story is capable of starting, not to mention fiction novels. Watch a romantic picture with a sexy man in the title role. Modern Hollywood actors have a professional talent to arouse sexual desires and immerse them in sweet dreams.

Second hint: Wake up your sensuality. When taking a bath before the night of love, pour fruit gel over your body, imagining that the hands of your loved one will touch your body after a while. Remember your nights, remember what pleasure you experienced from his caresses. Pamper your body with all kinds of masks, creams, lotions. Passing by the mirror, wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe or terry towel, do not forget to admire your beauty. Mentally give yourself compliments: stunning, tender, sexy, subtle, intoxicating, delicious.

Hint three: Create an environment. Do something for your chosen one: cook something interesting for dinner, put on a new perfume, make your bed with beautiful linen. By the way, men are stimulated to have sex by bright colors: dark pink, motley, tropical. Call him at work and purr that you are waiting for him. Send him a love message. You can meet him in the hallway in a dressing gown on a naked body and high-heeled sandals. Be very affectionate with him all evening before sex, do not skimp on tenderness. Sensuality includes not only sex, it must be present in the voice, place, behavior. Hint at your loved one what awaits him, tease the imagination.

Fourth hint: Try. Experiment. Before the night of love, you can drink a little alcohol, it well disinhibits sensuality. If you have always used condoms up to this point, try once without them. Feelings will be unusual and new. Choose an unusual place for making love. Unusual posture. Unusual time. Surely you both have many unfulfilled desires. Right now is the best time to start implementing them.

Hint five: Drop the shame. Do what pleases you. Allow yourself to be frank. If there is a desire to love him in bright light, on a chair or carpet in the kitchen, do not interfere with yourself. Throw a blanket over him and undress, remaining dressed at the same time.

Hint six: Be bold and bold. Unpredictability and spontaneity are the best advisers in sex. Do something you didn't have the courage to do before. Often the most unforgettable pleasure can be achieved only in those positions that previously seemed not very decent. It should be remembered that there is no vulgarity behind the bedroom door of two lovers. Listen to your feelings. If during sex you feel the urge to lift your hips and start moving towards your loved one, do it. Walk your hands over his body. Ask him to do the same.

Hint seven: Feel his caresses. Tell me, without hesitation, where to caress you and how to do it. It should drive you crazy. Do not forget that only a part of women reach orgasm through the vagina, and the rest - through the clitoris. Don't deprive yourself of the fun. Let him try to find your G-spot - it is located on the front wall of the vagina.

Hint eight: Let him speak. About anything. Let him whisper in your ear affectionate words about how he loves you, how wonderful and beautiful you are. Some people get chills from hot breath around this erogenous zone. Ask him to talk about what he is doing to you at the moment. Voicing passionate desires and fantasies is an indescribable dope. Don't hold back your screams.

The main rule of a sexy woman is to freely express her desires. If you feel a strong desire to make love in the morning, right before work, allow it to yourself. If he wakes you up in the middle of the night, respond to his affection. Women who do not limit themselves in desires usually have no difficulty with orgasm. In a word, you need to relax and, as they say in erotic stories, sail on the waves of your passion.

The cervical fluid of a woman performs the same role as the seminal fluid of a man. Since men are always capable of childbearing, they constantly produce seminal fluid. Women, on the other hand, are only capable of conception during a few days close to ovulation, and as a result, their body produces the substance necessary for the movement and nutrition of spermatozoa only during this period. It is laid down by nature. For its viability, sperm needs an environment suitable for life, movement and nutrition of spermatozoa, otherwise they die. As soon as the spermatozoa move from the penis to the vagina, they require an environment necessary for life. But since the viability of spermatozoa matters only at the time of ovulation in a woman, her body produces the necessary substance during these few days of the cycle.

In essence, fertile cervical fluid functions in exactly the same way as a man's seminal fluid. It provides an alkaline environment, protecting sperm from the normally acidic environment of the vagina. In addition, it provides nutrition to spermatozoa, acts as a filter and medium for their promotion.

In short, the woman's cervical fluid begins to change and become similar to the man's seminal fluid in an understandable way. After menstruation and directly under the influence of estrogen, cervical fluid usually begins to develop in the following pattern:

In other words, immediately after menstruation, you may feel dryness in the vagina and not find anything at the exit from it. Or you may feel a slight wetness, as if you touched the inside of your cheek for a second. Moisture from your finger will evaporate in a few seconds. This is the picture you see at the entrance to the vagina immediately after menstruation.

After about a few days of this dryness, you may begin to produce cervical fluid, which is perhaps best described by the word "sticky" - it is very similar to the glue you used back in elementary school. Sometimes it can even resemble rubber, as it is slightly "resilient" to the touch. But most importantly, it is not watery. The sticky and rubber types are unsuitable for the life of spermatozoa, but are considered potentially fertile if they occur just before ovulation.

The next type of cervical fluid that you may see for a few days is oily or creamy. It creates a feeling of coolness in the area of ​​​​the vaginal entrance, similar to how you feel cool when touching cosmetic cream. Sometimes the cervical fluid is so watery that it is even difficult to feel it (its consistency resembles skimmed milk), but the most pronounced evidence of its fertility is the feeling of intense moisture in the vagina that you experience during this period.

And finally, the most fertile cervical fluid resembles raw egg white. It is very viscous and can reach from 1 to 10 inches. It is usually very clear and can be extremely watery. The defining moment is the feeling of a wet and slippery vagina. It can leave regular, round-shaped wet tears on your underwear due to its highly watery consistency.* *

The most important feature of the most fertile cervical fluid is its lubricity. It is very important to pay attention to the viscous nature of the cervical fluid during the period of approaching ovulation. You may also notice the lubricating effect of cervical fluid for one to two days after a pronounced "egg white" period. Treat this very carefully, because this nature of the cervical fluid indicates your readiness for fertilization. Of course, vaginal sensations should not be confused with the lubricating substance released at the time of sexual arousal. The vaginal sensation is what you experience throughout the day, without even paying special attention to the nature of the cervical fluid.

Female orgasm myths and reality.

7 myths about the female orgasm.

The female orgasm is shrouded in a veil of mysteries, so it is not surprising that there are so many different myths about the female orgasm. Some of the myths exist exclusively in the minds of men, and some mislead even women. Therefore, we will try to understand some common myths, find out where is the truth and where is fiction.

Myth #1 Women cannot ejaculate.

Not true. With sufficient stimulation of the G-spot, some women are able to ejaculate. They can throw out a clear liquid, both before orgasm, and during the onset of orgasm. Some women who are able to ejaculate try to avoid sex or orgasm because they are simply embarrassed about their ability to ejaculate.
This is the so-called squirt.
The term "squirt" comes from the English word "squirt" - a jet - and denotes the release of a transparent specific white liquid in a volume of 15-45 ml from the vagina at the moment of orgasm or before it. Synonyms for "squirting": "squirting", "female ejaculation".

The debate around squirting has been going on for a long time. Does female ejaculation exist or not? Where does ejaculate come from in women? Why does it look like urine? How to achieve squirt? These are the questions we have to answer today.

POINT G: MYTH OR REALITY?
Currently, the prevailing point of view is that the walls of the vagina are not an erogenous zone. However, there is one amazing place in the vagina - the so-called G-spot. This is a cluster of nerve endings, the stimulation of which leads to orgasm. It is located on the anterior wall of the vagina at a depth of 5-7 cm.
During the stimulation of the G-spot, many women experience the same female ejaculation that we strive for.

Women experiencing ejaculation are often embarrassed by such manifestations, sometimes they regard it as involuntary urination. In fact, this is a normal physiological phenomenon.

Modern scientists explain the phenomenon of female ejaculation by the presence of the so-called Skene's glands, which are located on the anterior wall of the vagina around the lower end of the urethra. They are also called small vestibular, paraurethral glands, U-point or female prostate. The glands open into the urethra near its external opening.

It turns out that in women, just like in men, the urethra removes not only urine. In the specialized paraurethral glands of Skene, under the influence of stimulation, a secret is released that has an alkaline reaction, chemically similar to male seminal fluid.

Myth #2. Women who have never had a vaginal orgasm are a problem.

Not true. It is not known where this came from, perhaps due to Freud, who believed that there are 2 types of orgasm: vaginal and clitoral. He believed that a woman in adulthood should only experience a vaginal orgasm, and then it was already widely believed that any woman could experience an orgasm from vaginal penetration. But the truth is that only 1/3 of women are able to experience a vaginal orgasm every time they have sex. If a woman can't achieve a vaginal orgasm, then she certainly can achieve a clitoral one, and that's completely normal!

Myth number 3. A vaginal orgasm is better than a clitoral one.

Not true. The strength of an orgasm can vary in women in different ways depending on the situation. Most women always experience an orgasm with the same intensity, and some women experience even stronger sensations from a clitoral orgasm. Therefore, do not underestimate the clitoral orgasm.

Myth number 4. Sex without an orgasm does not give a woman satisfaction.

Not true. This myth is much more common among men than among women, because women know that good sex can be a lot of fun without an orgasm.

Myth number 5. Women are more likely to be satisfied if their partner has a long penis.

Not true. It is established that the G-spot is approximately 5 cm from the entrance to the vagina. From this we can conclude that the size of the partner's penis is not important for a woman, the main thing is the ability of a man to manage his "dignity". In general, the size of the penis is more important for men themselves than for women.

Myth number 6. Only women fake orgasms.

Not true. No one denies the fact that some women fake orgasms in bed, but men are not far behind in this regard. Sometimes even men fake an orgasm during sex. What is the meaning of this, you ask? The fact is that men, unlike women, are always able to achieve orgasm, and if a man suddenly cannot ejaculate for a long time, then it will be easier for him to simulate an orgasm.

Myth number 7. An orgasm is necessary for a woman to get pregnant.

Not true. Although scientists have proven that after the onset of an orgasm, it will be easier for a woman to become pregnant, but reaching an orgasm is not a prerequisite for conceiving a child. A woman may well become pregnant without an orgasm.